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PREFACE. 


I  FEEL  that  some  apology  is  due  to  the  public  for 
the  following  book. 

I  am  well  aware  that  it  is  without  that  polish  and 
elaboration  which  should  always  distinguish  literary 
work.  It  was  hurriedly  written,  much  of  it  on  my 
knee,  in  railroad  cars,  and  at  country  hotels,  in  the 
intervals  between  campaign  speeches.  It  scarcely  as 
pires  to  be  called  a  work.  It  is  what  they  denominate 
in  England  a  "skit." 

It  is  the  outgrowth  of  the  great  political  struggle 
now  going  on,  in  this  year  of  grace,  1892,  in  the 
United  States;  and  it  is  intended  to  explain  and  de 
fend,  in  the  thin  disguise  of  a  story,  some  of  the  new 
ideas  put  forth  by  the  People's  Party;  and  which 
concern,  I  sincerely  believe,  all  the  peoples  of  the 
civilized  world.  I  have  a  hope  that  the  interest  of 
"  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE  "  may  not  end  with  the  events 
which  gave  it  birth. 

It  is  not  of  so  much  importance  that  the  author 


4  PREFACE. 

should  glorify  himself,  by  the  perfection  of  his  work 
manship,  as  that  he  should  set  his  readers  to  thinking  ; 
and  thereby,  perhaps,  open  new  gateways  to  better 
conditions  of  life  for  the  multitude.  If  these  ends 
can  be  obtained  I  shall  be  utterly  indifferent  to  all 
other  considerations  and  consequences. 

I  have  no  doubt  the  intelligent  reader  will  have 
sense  enough  to  draw  the  line  where  argument  ends 
and  romance  begins.  I  would  be  sorry  if  any  one 
should  be  so  foolish  as  to  argue  that  the  triumph  of 
the  People's  Party  means  a  declaration  of  war  against 
the  whole  world. 

If  there  is  anything  in  this  book  which  is  sensible 
and  reasonable,  it  will,  I  trust,  be  credited  to  the  new 
political  movement;  whatever  is  otherwise  can  be 
laid  at  my  door. 

And  so,  with  these  excuses,  and  with  all  its  sins 
and  imperfections  on  its  head,  I  send  out  "THE 
GOLDEX  BOTTLE,"  and  consign  it  to  the  tender  mer 
cies  of  its  friends  and  the  serrated  teeth  of  its  critics. 

1.  D. 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  I. 

PAGE 

Who  I  Am,  and  What  I  Thought, 9 

CHAPTER  II. 
What  I  Saw 15 

CHAPTER  III. 
The  Golden  Nail, 17 

CHAPTER  IV. 
We  Visit  Kansas  City,         .......     25 

CHAPTER  V. 
Rich, 

CHAPTER  VI. 
Going  Home,        ....... 

CHAPTER  VII. 
I  Begin  Work .48 

CHAPTER  VIII. 
The  Thunderbolt, 53 

CHAPTER  IX. 
Doing  Business  on  a  Large  Scale,       .         .        .        .        .59 

CHAPTER  X. 
A  Millionaire 66 


6 

CONTENTS. 

Sophie, 

CHAPTER  XI. 

PAGE 
.       73 

CHAPTER  XII. 

.    78 

Sophie's  Plan, 

CHAPTER  XIII. 

.    88 

CHAPTER  XIV. 

The  Meeting, 



.    93 

CHAPTER  XV. 
I  Hear  from  Kansas,   ........  108 

CHAPTER  XVI. 
Archibald  M.  Hayes'  Letter,      ......  117 

CHAPTER  XVII. 
I  Appeal  to  Congress, 121 

CHAPTER  XVIII. 
How  Plutocracy  Worked, 131 

CHAPTER  XIX. 
I  Get  Mad, .148 

CHAPTER  XX. 
The  Glad  Tidings  of  Great  Joy, 152 

CHAPTER  XXI. 
The  Financial  World, 157 

CHAPTER  XXII. 
I  Organize  the  Brotherhood  of  Justice,      ....  159 

CHAPTER  XXIII. 
I  Start  a  Town  and  Build  a  Railroad,        ....  164 


CONTENTS.  7 

CHAPTER  XXIV. 

PAGE 

The  Demonetization  of  Gold, 173 

CHAPTER  XXV. 
I  Am  Elected  President, 181 

CHAPTER  XXVI. 
A  Civil  War  Probable 185 

CHAPTER  XXVII. 
How  the  War  was  Averted 189 

CHAPTER  XXVIII. 
Plutocracy  Paralyzed, 194 

CHAPTER  XXIX. 
My  Inaugural  Message, 200 

CHAPTER  XXX. 
Europe  Prepares  for  War, 206 

CHAPTER  XXXI. 
The  Conquest  of  Canada 208 

CHAPTER  XXXII. 
The  Conquest  of  Ireland, 210 

CHAPTER  XXXIII. 
England's  Surprise, 218 

CHAPTER  XXXIV. 
Reconstructed  Great  Britain, 224 

CHAPTER  XXXV. 
Sophie's  Work, 228 

CHAPTER  XXXVI. 
The  Wrath  of  the  Kings,     .......  231 


8  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  XXXVII. 

PAGE 

The  Battle  of  Marburg, 234 

CHAPTER  XXXVIII. 
The  Second  Day  of  the  Battle 238 

CHAPTER  XXXIX. 
The  Third  Day  of  the  Conflict .241 

CHAPTER  XL. 
The  Day  of  Jubilee 244 

CHAPTER  XLI. 
Armageddon, 253 

CHAPTER  XLII. 
The  Millennium, 264 

CHAPTER  XLIII. 
Christianity, 269 

CHAPTER  XLIV. 
The  Universal  Republic 274 

CHAPTER  XLV. 
We  Prepare  to  Go  Back  to  America,          ....  278 

CHAPTER  XLVI. 
We  Visit  England  and  Ireland,          ....  282 

CHAPTER  XLVII. 
America, 289 

CHAPTER  XLVIII. 
The  Sound  of  the  Hammer, 294 

CHAPTER  XLIX. 
My  Last  Visitor,          ...  ....  298 


THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 


CHAPTER  I. 

WHO    I    AM,    AND    WHAT    I    THOUGHT. 

I  HAVE  a  wonderful  story  to  tell. 

But  first — you  ask — "who  are  you? " 

Well,  I  am  Ephraim  Benezet,  son  of  John  Bene- 
zet  and  Mary  his  wife,  of  Butler  County,  Kansas. 

It  is  the  old,  old  story.  Grasshoppers,  poor  crops, 
"pools,"  "trusts,"  "rings;  "  high  prices  for  what  we 
bought,  low  prices  for  what  we  sold;  "burning  the 
candle  at  both  ends;  "  increasing  taxation  to  support 
a  lot  of  office-holding  non-producers;  an  increasing 
family,  with  another  lot  of  non-producers  to  sup 
port,  much  beloved,  however,  of  their  progenitors; 
debt,  pinching  economy,  and,  at  last,  that  condi 
tional  sale  of  the  homestead  which  is  disguised  under 
the  name  of  a  "mortgage."  More  debt  to  pay  inter 
est  on,  more  pinching,  more  grasshoppers,  more  pools, 
more  "combines,"  and  the  end — foreclosure — wiping 
out — starting  adrift,  etc. 

I  was  the  oldest  son  and  not  much  of  a  help  at  that. 


10  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

I  was  never  physically  strong:  I  had  a  tendency  to 
pulmonary  troubles,  intensified  by  poor  living  and 
hopelessness.  I  was  full  of  high  dreams,  a  great 
reader,  but  of  little  real  value  to  any  one. 

I  had  some  thoughts  at  one  time  of  studying  for 
the  ministry,  for  I  had  strong  impulses  to  goodness; 
and  I  felt  I  was  not  equal  to  the  labors  of  the 
farm.  But  then,  as  I  beheld  the  wretchedness  of 
mankind,  universal  and  overwhelming;  as  I  saw 
vice  triumphant  and  virtue  trampled  under  foot,  the 
good  cursed  and  the  evil  blessed,  it  seemed  to  me  that 
it  was  not  God  but  the  devil  who  was  ruling  this 
wicked  world.  I  used  to  go,  in  the  night,  and  cry 
out  in  the  open  fields,  under  the  stars,  for  God  to 
come  again  on  earth  and  make  things  right;  and 
drive  the  victorious  devils  back  into  their  sulphurous 
dens. 

And  then  I  reasoned  it  out  that  the  great  God,  the 
Father  Almighty,  maker  of  the  immeasurable  uni 
verse,  must  be  omnipotent  and  omniscient — that  was 
conceded  by  all.  Being  omniscient  he  knew  the 
condition  of  this  misgoverned  little  planet;  and  being 
omnipotent  he  had  the  power  to  remedy  it  all,  in  the 
twinkling  of  an  eye.  And  he  did  not  do  it.  "Why? 

I  could  only  explain  it  upon  the  theory  that  this 
world  was  not  the  direct  creation  of  God,  but  the 
clumsy  workmanship  of  a  lot  of  spiritual  beings, 
above  men  in  power,  but  like  unto  them  in  infirmity; 
and  that  they  had  been  set  to  work,  by  the  divine 
command,  and  had  been  experimenting  for  a  few  mill- 


WHO   I   AM,    AND   WHAT   I   THOUGHT.  11 

ion  years  to  make  something  out  of  the  elements  com 
mitted  to  them;  and  had  made  a  fearful  muddle  of  it 
all.  I  thought  I  could  also  see  that  man  was  their 
deputy,  to  still  further  carry  on  this  delegated  work 
of  creation,  at  second  hand;  and  there  was  in  man's 
evolution,  for  instance,  of  the  locomotive,  out  of  the 
log-wheeled  wagon  of  Charlemagne,  the  same  slow 
process,  with  the  same  imperfect  adaptation  of  means 
to  ends,  which  marked  the  evolution  of  man  from  a 
hairy  simian ;  or  the  development  of  a  humming-bird 
out  of  an  alligator. 

The  Englishman's  railroad  car  built  in  separate 
compartments,  modelled  exactly  after  the  stage-coach 
of  the  last  century,  was  very  like  the  perpetuation,  in 
man's  body,  of  useless  and  often  fatal  inheritances 
from  his  animal  progenitors.  The  one  did  not  speak 
any  more  of  omniscience  and  omnipotence  than  the 
other. 

And  so  I  worshipped,  on  bent  knees,  the  sublime 
Architect  of  the  Universe,  the  all-wise,  all-powerful, 
and  all-good,  and  called  on  him  to  listen  to  the  cry 
of  one  of  his  poor  little  human  creatures;  and  come 
to  the  aid  of  this  perturbed  planet,  and  whip  his  in 
visible  spiritual  agents  into  intelligence  and  righteous 
ness,  that  good  might  rule  on  the  earth  and  evil  be 
banished  into  Hades. 

But  the  stars  listened  to  me,  and  winked  their 
innumerable  eyes  at  me,  and  answered  not.  And  no 
reply  came  from  behind  the  stars;  and  I  fell  into  piti 
ful  dejection  and  bitterness  against  all  created  things. 


12  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

And  my  cough  increased,  and  my  heart  was  sore  with 
sorrow. 

For  there  was  one  fair  girl,  Sophie  Hetherington 
by  name,  for  whom  my  soul  lamented.  Years  ago 
we  sat  beside  each  other  on  the  same  slab-bench,  in 
the  same  old  log  school-house.  She  was  fair  and 
good  and  bright  and  affectionate.  We  trudged  to 
gether  through  the  snow  in  winter;  we  gathered 
flowers  together  in  the  woods  in  spring;  we  pelted 
each  other  with  apples  and  nuts  in  the  autumn.  And 
the  love  which  began  in  the  little  toddlers  ripened  to 
tenfold  warmth  in  the  growing  manhood  and  woman 
hood. 

Sophie's  father  was  also  a  farmer.  He  owned  the 
next  farm  to  ours.  He  had  caught  the  contagion  of 
debt  which  overspread  the  State.  He  was  a  good, 
honest,  intelligent,  industrious  man ;  but  what  can  all 
such  faculties  effect  when  the  thieves  get  in  their  rob 
beries;  when  the  heavens  withhold  their  rainfall;  when 
the  demoniacal  swarms  of  insects  gather;  and  the 
clouds  are  sent  hurtling  away  from  the  brazen  heavens 
to  pour  down  their  load  of  moisture  where  it  is  not 
wanted?  Oh!  ye  earth-spirits,  are  ye  asleep;  or  do  ye 
delight  in  the  destruction  of  the  honest  and  virtuous? 

The  blow  at  last  fell.  The  Hetherington  mortgage 
was  foreclosed.  One  bright  morning  a  pitiful  cortege 
of  grim-visaged  men  and  weeping  women  went  forth 
from  that  little  paradise  of  fields  and  woods  and  prolific 
greenery,  and  took  their  sad  way  to  the  great  city  of 
Omaha,  to  struggle  with  thousands  of  hungry  ones 


WHO  I  AM,   AND  WHAT   I   THOUGHT.  13 

for  daily  food.  And  Sophie — bright,  resolute,  in 
tellectual  Sophie — became  a  store-girl  at  starvation 
wages,  and  stories  began  to  come  back  to  us — but 
enough!  Her  letters  ceased,  and  my  heart  was 
blacker  than  midnight  without  a  star.  Oh,  why! 
why!  ye  invisible,  winged,  deputy  rulers  of  the  globe, 
did  not  that  rainfall  come  in  time  to  save  the  crop 
and  save  Sophie? 

And  now  it  was  our  turn.  Notice  had  been  served 
that  our  mortgage  would  also  be  foreclosed. 

No  one  spoke  that  night  at  supper.  Mother  was 
crying  softl}r.  Father  looked  the  curses  he  did  not 
speak.  I  sat  at  the  foot  of  the  table,  furious  at  my 
own  helplessness.  The  meagre  meal  was  dispatched 
quickly.  Our  thoughts  turned  to  the  future.  The 
future!  It  was  like  looking  into  the  mouth  of  Hell. 
Oh,  how  many  bitter  hearts  are  there  in  this  world! 

I  went  out  and  talked  to  the  stars  as  usual.  But 
it  was  in  vain.  Useless  was  it  to  look  to  that  quarter 
for  help.  I  would  go  and  hire  out  in  the  great  city. 
But  what  could  I  do?  The  great  city!  The  great 
maw  that  swallows  up  the  wretchedness  of  the  country 
and  makes  it  greater.  And  then  I  had  a  fit  of  cough 
ing.  I  stamped  my  foot  on  the  earth  and  swore — 
yes,  swore  a  bitter  oath.  I  realized  my  own  useless- 
ness.  I  saw  in  the  distance  a  pauper's  grave.  I 
could  help  no  one,  not  even  myself.  More  of  the 
silly  work  of  those  wretched-  earth-spirits!  In  their 
reckless  eagerness  to  create  they  had  manufactured 
billions  upon  billions  of  microscopic  forms  of  life, 


14  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

deadly  to  the  life  of  man;  and  they  had  created  man 
for  the  microbes  to  prey  on  and  kill.  I  had  a  colony 
of  them  in  my  left  lung,  and  they  would  breed  and 
breed  until  they  filled  me  and  finished  me.  And 
these  wretched  earth -spirits  took  better  care  of  the  vil- 
lanous,  deadly,  murdering  bacilli  than  they  did  of 
me!  Was  I  of  no  more  consequence  in  the  universe 
than  these  minute  and  wretched  creatures?  It  seemed 
not.  What  was  intellect  worth  if  it  could  be  thus 
overthrown  by  an  army  of  animalculae? 

But  there  was  nothing  to  be  gained  by  pursuing 
such  thoughts.  I  should  go  mad  while  thus  flinging 
myself  against  the  iron  front  of  fate. 

If  I  could  do  nothing  else  I  could  sleep. 

And  so  I  climbed  the  ladder  to  the  loft  and  stretched 
myself  upon  my  bed  of  straw.  I  knew  every  bare 
rafter  above  my  head.  I  had  studied  them  by  day 
light  and  moonlight  and  candle-light.  I  had  woven 
my  thoughts  into  the  black  timbers  until  every  knot 
hole  seemed  a  piece  of  me.  I  knew  they  were  there 
in  the  darkness.  I  could  count  them:  one,  two, 
three — as  I  had  done  a  thousand  times  before. 

I  sighed.  I  set  my  teeth.  I  fell  asleep — a  dull, 
pained,  unhappy  sleep,  with  an  under-current  of  curs 
ing  and  bewailing. 


CHAPTER   II. 

WHAT    I    SAW. 

I  THOUGHT  -  was  awake.  Now  I  know  I  was  asleep 
and  dreaming. 

A  light  fell  on  my  closed  eyes  and  shone  through 
the  lids.  I  lifted  up  my  head  from  the  pillow. 

What  a  curious  sight! 

There  was  an  old  man  in  the  room.  An  old  man 
with  a  broad  brow,  a  smiling,  gentle  face,  clear  blue 
eyes  and  long  gray  hair;  an  aspect  altogether  benev 
olent  and  noble. 

"Who  are  you?"  I  asked,  for  I  thought  him  simply 
some  human  intruder. 

In  a  clear,  sweet  voice  he  replied: 

"THE  PITY  OF  GOD." 

The  reply  startled  me.  I  had  begun  to  think  there 
was  no  pity  in  all  the  depths  of  the  universe. 

I  sat  up  in  the  bed. 

"What  do  you  want?"  I  asked. 

"SEE!"  he  replied. 

He  drew  from  his  pocket  a  curious-looking  em 
bossed  gold  flask  or  bottle,  and  held  it  up  before  me. 

"Yes,"  I  replied,  "what  then?"  For  desperation 
and  bitterness  make  men  bold. 

15 


16  THE    GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

"OBSERVE,"  lie  said. 

He  pulled  from  the  wall  a  large  iron  nail,  which 
was  used  to  hang  clothes  on.  There  was  some  water 
in  a  pitcher  on  the  pine  wash-stand,  and  a  cup  with 
a  broken  handle  which  I  used  for  shaving.  He 
poured  the  cup  full  of  water,  and  then  dropped  the 
nail  into  it;  there  was  just  enough  water  to  cover 
it.  He  stepped  nearer  to  the  bed,  and  held  the  cup 
sideways,  so  that  I  could  look  into  it,  and  smiling  at 
me,  said: 

"WATCH!" 

He  touched  a  spring  in  the  neck  of  the  golden 
flask  and  the  top  flew  up,  and  he  dropped  just  one 
drop  of  a  clear,  amber-colored  liquid  into  the  cup. 
There  was  an  effervescence  for  a  moment  which 
clouded  the  water  and  hid  the  nail  from  sight. 

Then  he  took  the  nail  out  and  handed  it  to  me.  It 
was  as  yellow  as  gold ! 

The  next  instant  he  was  gone,  and  the  room  was 
darkness.  "Where  that  light  came  from  which  had 
irradiated  him  I  could  never  understand. 

But  it  seemed  to  me  that  I  went  to  sleep  again. 


CHAPTEE  III. 

THE    GOLDEN   NAIL. 

^  at  daybreak  and  looked  around  the  loft, 
as  it  was  revealed  by  the  dim  light — I  coughed. 
All  the  horrors  of  my  condition  came  back  upon  me. 
The  foreclosure  of  the  mortgage!  Consumption! 
Death!  And,  worse  than  all,  the  injustice  and 
cruelty  of  nature;  the  misery  of  the  good,  the 
happiness  of  the  wicked.  And  Sophie  gone — ruined! 

I  sat  up  in  bed.     My  eyes  were  moist. 

There  was  something  in  my  hand. 

It  was  a  golden  nail ! 

Yes;  it  looked  like  gold.  I  took  it  to  the  small 
window.  Surely  it  did  look  like  gold!  But  the 
light  of  dawn  was  dim,  for  we  toilers  rose  early;  the 
men  who  held  the  mortgages  slept  longer;  but  the 
mortgage  worked  all  night,  and  so  one  thing  equal 
ized  another.  I  lit  a  tallow  candle  and  held  the  nail 
close  to  it. 

Yes,  it  was  the  exact  color  of  gold.  I  scratched  it 
with  my  jack-knife.  As  far  in  as  I  cut  it  it  was 
yellow;  the  color  then  was  not  a  plating. 

Suddenly  my  dream  came  back  to  me:  the  old 
man,  the  golden  bottle,  the  transformed  nail.  This 
2  17 


18  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

• 

then  was  the  nail;  for  he  had  handed  it  to  me  and  I 
woke  with  it  in  my  hand. 

I  gave  a  great  start.  Then  my  dream  was  some 
thing  more  than  a  gossamer  figment  of  the  troubled 
imagination. 

I  looked  eagerly  around  the  room.  What  is  that 
lying  on  the  foot  of  the  bed,  just  where  the  old  man 
stood  when  he  gave  me  the  nail?  I  darted  forward. 

I  seized  it.  My  God!  it  is  the  embossed  flask  out 
of  which  came  that  single  drop  which  turned  the 
rusty  old  iron  nail  into  this  semblance  of  shining 
yellow  gold. 

Stop !  I  pressed  my  hands  to  my  throbbing  head. 
I  staggered  under  the  rush  of  surging  thoughts. 

Could  it  be  possible  that  this  is  the  elixir  for  which 
the  philosophers  sought  for  a  thousand  years  in  vain? 
Do  I  hold  in  my  hands  the  cure  of  all  earthly  poverty 
and  the  mastership  of  all  worldly  power? 

I  clutched  the  flask  to  my  bosom. 

Impossible,  and  yet — I  am  awake,  that  is  certain. 
It  is  daylight.  The  vision  of  the  old  man  may 
have  been  a  dream,  but  here  is  the  golden  nail, 
here  is  the  golden  bottle.  Nothing  like  these  were 
ever  seen  before  in  this  garret,  nor  in  this  house, 
nor  in  this  neighborhood. 

They  are  real.  If  the  old  man  who  called  himself 
the  "Pity  of  God"  did  not  bring  them  here,  whence 
came  they? 

And  he  showed  me  how  to  use  the  flask.  I  re 
membered  that. 


THE  GOLDEN  NAIL.  19 

I  shook  it.     It  seemed  to  be  nearly  full. 

I  hugged  it  to  my  breast  with  more  fervor  than  man 
ever  embraced  woman  with. 

But  stop  !  What  assurance  have  I  that  the  flask 
will  have,  in  my  hand,  the  efficacy  which  it  .possessed 
in  the  grasp  of  my  strange  spiritual  visitant?  If  it 
has  not  I  am  more  wretched  than  ever,  for  I  have 
had  a  glimpse  of  paradise,  only  to  find  the  golden 
doors  banged  in  my  face. 

But  I  can  soon  resolve  that  doubt. 

I  looked  around  the  loft.  Some  children's  clothes 
hung  upon  another  nail.  I  threw  them  on  the  floor. 
I  dragged  the  nail  out — it  took  all  my  strength. 
Quickly  I  filled  the  cup  with  water,  and  placed  the 
nail  in  it.  Then  I  hunted  for  the  spring  in  the  neck 
of  the  flask.  I  found  it.  I  pressed  it.  The  lid  flew 
open.  My  hand  trembled  so  violently  that  it  was 
some  minutes  before  I  could  steady  myself  sufficiently 
to  drop  a  single  drop  into  the  water.  My  soul  was  in 
my  eyes.  I  trembled.  I  set  the  cup  down  on  the 
wash-stand.  I  could  not  hold  it. 

There  was  a  white  effervescence  which  clouded  the 
water;  it  foamed;  then  it  cleared  itself ,  and  by  the 
light  of  the  candle  I  saw — another  golden  nail! 

My  God  !  How  excited  I  was  !  I  danced  around 
the  garret  and  upset  the  single  backless  chair,  and  the 
children  in  the  next  room  wakened  with  the  clatter. 

But  here  there  came  upon  me  an  appalling  thought : 
What  if  these  nails  were  not  real  gold?  What  if 
some  ingenious  demon  was  making  sport  of  me?  I 


20  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

stood  still,  paralyzed.  My  heart  sank  within  me.  I 
thought  of  the  mortgage.  My  very  hair  stirred  with 
terror. 

There  was  one  way  to  test  it.  The  village  of  El 
Dorado  was  five  miles  distant.  There  was  a  jeweller 
there.  He  would  tell  me  whether  these  nails  were 
gold  or  not. 

I  dressed  hurriedly.  Mother  was  already  up.  Her 
tears  were  dropping  into  the  pan  of  sizzling  pork  fat 
and  rind-strings. 

She  looked  at  me  and  saw  I  was  strangely  dis 
turbed. 

"Ephraim,"  she  said,  "what's  the  matter?" 

"Mother,"!  replied,  "I  have  got  an  idea  in  my 
head,  and  I  will  take  the  gray  mare  and  drive  to  El 
Dorado.  I  will  be  back  at  once." 

She  asked  me  questions;  she  offered  me  food; 
but  I  could  neither  answer  nor  eat.  In  a  few  minutes 
I  was  thundering  down  the  road  as  fast  as  our  fleetest 
horse  could  carry  me. 

Outside  the  town  I  stopped  to  calm  myself.  The 
jeweller  was  a  lame  man,  named  William  Burke, 
with  a  leg  which  stuck  out  like  a  letter  K;  the  rude 
boys  called  him  "William  with  the  side-draft."  He 
was  just  opening  his  shop.  He  knew  me. 

"Good-morning,  Mr.  Burke,"!  said,  with  an  affec 
tation  of  calmness. 

"Good-morning,  Ephe,"  he  replied;  "how  are  all 
the  folks?" 

"Very  well,"  I  replied,  "and  yours?" 


THE   GOLDEN  NAIL.  21 

"Very  well,  thank  you.  Can  I  do  anything  for 
you  this  morning?" 

"  Yes,"  I  said.  "  I  ploughed  up  a  couple  of  curious 
nails  yesterday,  and  I  thought  I  would  drive  over  and 
see  what  they  were  worth." 

He  examined  them.  He  filed  into  them.  He  ap 
plied  acids.  I  watched  him  eagerly,  my  very  knees 
knocking  together. 

"Well?"  I  said. 

"Well, "said  he,  "they  are  gold,  of  very  pure 
quality." 

"Sure?" 

"Yes,  perfectly  sure." 

My  heart  gave  a  great  leap,  and  my  face  broke  into 
smiles. 

"You  are  in  luck,"  he  said. 

I  felt  in  the  bosom  of  my  coat  to  make  sure  that 
the  flask  had  not  disappeared. 

"Yes,"  I  replied,  "great  luck.  What  are  they 
worth?" 

He  weighed  them. 

"Thirty-five  dollars,"  he  replied. 

"Will  you  pay  that  for  them?"  I  asked  eagerly. 

"Yes,"  he  replied. 

"Then  take  them,"  I  said. 

He  paid  me  the  money,  and  I  ran  out  of  the  shop, 
leaving  the  jeweller  looking  after  me,  surprised  and 
amused. 

Lord!  what  visions  opened  before  me! 

Rich!     Richer  than  Croesus!     Richer  than  any  man 


22  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

that  had  ever  lived  in  this  world.  No  more  pinch 
ing,  nor  poverty,  nor  mortgages,  nor  broken  hearts, 
nor  ruined  bodies.  But  Sophie!  Ah!  that  was 
the  rub.  There  are  some  things  which  even  wealth 
cannot  make  good. 

I  went  into  a  butcher-shop — then  into  a  grocery 
store:  meats,  tenderloins,  mutton-chops,  the  finest 
teas  and  coffees  and  chocolates,  and  canned  goods,  and 
candies  for  the  children,  and  everything  else  I  could 
think  of.  The  news  spread  quickly,  as  it  does  in 
villages,  and  the  merchants  congratulated  me  on  find 
ing  those  curious  evidences  of  the  work  of  the  Mound 
Builders  (for  that  is  thS  way  in  which  they  explained 
it),  and  laughed  at  my  excitement,  and  the  way  I 
was  loading  up  for  the  folks  at  home.  The  old  gray 
mare  was  well  burdened  with  sacks,  and  it  was  all  I 
could  do  to  hold  them  in  place  as  we  returned  slowly 
to  the  farm. 

But  what  delightful  dreams  I  had!  I  did-  not 
cough  once.  Hope  and  joy  had  lifted  me  above  the 
reach  of  the  microbes.  I  had  inherited  the  whole 
world,  and  I  plotted  and  planned,  until  the  road  seemed 
paved  with  gold  and  the  very  fences  had  a  yellow 
ish  hue  as  the  old  mare  and  I  crawled  past  them. 

I  came  in  sight  of  the  house.  Father  was  sitting 
on  the  porch  looking  very  depressed  and  melancholy. 

I  gave  a  yell  that  brought  the  whole  family,  in 
cluding  the  dogs,  out  of  the  house  with  a  rush. 

"Give  a  hand  here,"  I  cried,  as  I  lifted  down  the 
sacks. 


THE   GOLDEN    NAIL.  23 

We  carried  them  in  and  emptied  them  on  the  kitchen 
table.  The  children  danced  for  joy,  but  mother  be 
gan  to  cry. 

"What  is  the  matter,  mother?"  I  asked. 

"Oh,  Ephraim,  Ephraim,"  she  said,  "I  fear  that 
in  your  desperation  you  have  committed  some 
crime." 

"Do  you  think  I  stole  these  things?"' I  said, 
laughing. 

"I  fear  you  did,  my  son;  how  else  could  you  get 
them?" 

I  roared  with  laughter. 

"Come,  mother,"  I  said,  "cook  a  royal  breakfast 
for  us  all.  Here  is  some  of  the  Oolong  tea  you  are 
so  fond  of,  but  you  haven't  had  an  ounce  of  it  in  the 
house  for  years.  The  money  all  went  to  fill  the 
belly  of  that  mortgage.  I  will  pay  off  the  mortgage 
to-morrow  and  we  will  never  be  poor  again." 

Father  looked  at  me  with  open-eyed  astonishment, 
as  if  he  feared  I  had  lost  my  senses. 

"It  is  all  true,"  I  said;  "our  good  luck  has  come 
at  last — marvellous,  extraordinary,  incredible  good 
luck.  But  hurry  breakfast,  send  the  children  to 
school,  and  I  will  explain  all." 

The  old  house  had  never  before  smelt  such  fragrant 
odors  as  rolled  through  it  and  into  every  nook  and 
crevice  of  it  that  bright  morning.  The  very  windows 
grew  moist,  like  eyes  overflowing  with  gratitude  or 
strong  drink. 

I  shall  never  forget  the  aroma  of  the  coffee,  for  I 


24  THE    GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

brought  to  it  a  ploughman's  appetite  and  a  palate  not 
cloyed  by  surfeits. 

When  the  children  were  all  off,  down  the  road  to 
school,  with  their  books  under  their  arms,  I  pulled 
from  my  pocket  the  magical  flask  and  told  my  story. 
No  words  can  describe  the  astonishment  of  my  parents. 

They  believed  and  yet  they  doubted ;  they  doubted 
and  yet  they  believed.  How  their  eyes  dilated  and 
the  wrinkles  smoothed  out  as  they  looked  into  the 
glorious  vista  of  the  future,  where  there  was  to  be  no 
more  debt,  no  more  poverty.  How  the  weight  of  the 
whole  world  was  lifted  from  off  their  souls. 

But  I  must  prove  my  wonderful  assertions  before 
their  very  eyes. 

This  was  at  once  done;  and  another  golden  nail 
was  soon  in  their  hands,  to  be  weighed,  examined, 
praised. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

WE  VISIT   KANSAS   CITY. 

AND  then  we  took  counsel  together. 

The  mortgage,  that  dreadful,  devouring,  insatiable, 
rapacious  monster,  that  dragon  of  modern  civilization, 
must  be  paid  off.  How? 

After  considerable  conference  it  was  agreed  that  I 
should  make  a  dozen  or  more  golden  nails  to  sell  to 
the  jeweller;  then  we  would  take  the  team  and  wagon 
and  go  to  El  Dorado,  sell  them  and  buy  a  second-hand 
blacksmith's  forge  which  I  knew  was  in  a  certain  tin- 
shop  there  for  sale;  and,  with  a  supply  of  coal  and 
bar-iron,  we  would  forge  brick-shaped  masses,  which  I 
could  con  vert  into  gold,  and  we  would  take  them  with 
us  to  Kansas  City  to  sell. 

This  plan  we  carried  out;  and  the  next  day  half  a 
dozen  men  were  prowling  around  the  farm;  and  that 
night  we  could  see  their  lanterns  as  they  dug  away 
at  an  elevation,  a  sort  of  natural  mound,  in  the  mid 
dle  of  the  field.  They  were  towns-people.  We 
laughed,  but  did  not  disturb  them.  They  toiled  all 
night,  and  in  the  morning  we  found  quite  an  excava 
tion  where  they  had  been  laboring.  They  were  look 
ing  for  the  Mound  Builders'  gold. 

25 


26  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

We  set  up  the  forge  in  a  shed,  and  all  the  next  day 
father  and  I  worked  the  bellows  and  hammered  and 
welded,  until  we  turned  out  several  large  bricks  of 
iron..  We  were  clumsy  workmen,  but,  Lord!  how 
our  blows  rang,  for  hope  and  home  were  in  every 
stroke. 

It  took  but  a  few  minutes  to  convert  these  iron 
masses  into  gold. 

On  the  morrow  we  were  off  to  Kansas  City. 

There  we  bought  ourselves  new  suits  of  fashionable 
clothing,  and  then  called  on  the  principal  jeweller  of 
the  city.  We  produced  two  bricks.  He  smiled  a 
superior  smile,  as  if  he  knew  we  were  farmers  who  had 
been  swindled  by  some  "confidence  game;"  and  to 
enlighten  our  ignorance  he  dropped  a  drop  of  aqua 
fortis  on  the  face  of  one  of  the  bricks.  Instead  of 
boiling  up,'  angry  and  green,  it  lay  there  like  a  drop 
of  water.  He  readjusted  his  spectacles  and  tried  it 
again,  with  the  same  result.  "Heavy  plating,"  he 
muttered.  He  filed  into  it  and  tried  the  acid  in  the 
cleft.  He  summoned  his  master-workman  from  the 
back  of  the  shop.  They  talked  together  in  whispers. 
He  turned  to  us. 

"Have  you  any  objection  to  my  cutting  through 
this  brick?"  he  asked. 

"None  at  all,"  I  replied. 

In  a  few  minutes,  with  hammer  and  chisel  and 
wedges,  the  brick  was  broken  in  half,  and  the  acid  ap 
plied  to  the  edges.  Still  the  same  result.  It  lay 
there  as  harmless  as  water. 


WE  VISIT  KANSAS   CITY.  27 

"This  is  gold,"  he  said. 

"  Of  course,"  I  replied;  "  what  did  you  take  it  for?" 

He  put  the  second  brick  through  the  same  tests, 
with  the  same  result. 

We  visited  other  jewellers'  stores. 

That  night  we  had  $55,800  in  bank,  with  bank 
certificates  of  deposit  for  nearly  that  amount  in  our 
pockets,  in  sums  of  $1,000  each. 

The  mortgage  on  the  farm  was  held  by  an  English 
syndicate  corporation,  whose  headquarters  were  in 
Kansas  City ;  and  the  next  morning  we  paid  it  off, 
and  took  a  certificate  of  satisfaction.  When  father 
got  that  piece  of  paper  in  his  pocket  he  stood 
straighter  and  looked  more  boldly  before  him  than*  I 
had  seen  him  do  for  years.  The  iron  collar  of  servi 
tude  had  been  filed  from  off  his  neck  with  a  file  of 
gold. 

I  proposed  to  him  that  he  buy  a  house  in  Kansas 
City  and  move  his  family  there;  but  he  would  not 
hear  of  it.  He  had  worked  the  fibres  of  his  heart  into 
the  soil  of  that  old  place,  and  every  tree  and  field  and 
unpainted  board  was  dear  to  him.  I  gave  him  cer 
tificates  for  $20,000;  and  we  bought  new  furniture, 
china-ware,  clothing,  and  everything  that  we  could 
think  would  add  to  the  pleasure  and  comfort  of  those 
at  home. 

We  went  to  the  principal  and  most  expensive  hotel. 

What  a  glorious  thing  it  was  not  to  be  obliged  to 
count  the  pennies,  as  we  had  been  doing  all  our  lives. 
We  went  to  the  theatre.  The  stage  was  gay  and 


28  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

glittering,  but  not  half  so  much  so  as  the  pictures 
of  the  future  which  unrolled  themselves  before  our 
happy  eyes. 

"Oh,  Sophie!  Sophie!"  I  said  to  myself ,  mourn- 
fully.  ' 

"  Ephraim,"  said  my  father,  at  the  most  tragical  part 
of  the  tragedy,  "I  think  I  will  buy  Hetherington's 
farm.  It  jines  me  on  the  west,  you  know,  and  it's 
for  sale." 

"Oh,  Sophie,  Sophie,"  I  said  to  myself,  "there  is 
one  thing  money  cannot  do.  It  cannot  restore  wo 
man's  honor." 


CHAPTEE   Y. 

RICH. 

IT  is  a  delightful  thing  to  feel  rich.  The  difference 
between  the  mind  of  a  wealthy  man  and  that  of  a 
poor  man  is  the  difference  between  a  room  brilliantly 
lighted  and  one  shrouded  in  darkness.  In  the  first 
case  every  artistic  form  is  revealed  in  the  flood  of 
illumination;  in  the  other  you  bump  your  head  against 
the  walls  and  break  your  shins  over  the  furniture ;  you 
grope,  you  crawl,  you  stumble,  you  swear. 

These  thoughts  came  to  me  as  I  sat  on  the  thickly- 
cushioned,  velvet-covered  seat  of  the  chair-car,  look 
ing  out  through  the  great  plate-glass  window  of  the 
railroad  train  at  the  variegated  country  flying  rapidly 
past  us. 

At  home  I  knew  the  history  and  circumstances  of 
every  family  around  me. 

I  could  see  through  the  flowers  and  the  trees  the 
miseries  which  every  roof  covered:  the  debt,  the  dis 
appointments,  the  heart-burnings;  the  hopeless  strug 
gle  against  what  they  called  fate,  but  which  was  sim 
ply  man's  incapacity  to  protect  himself  against  human 
thieves,  or  to  force  unwilling  nature  to  obey  his  com 
mands,  Hence  the  whole  scene  at  home  was  a  piti- 

29 


30  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

ful  and  melancholy  one;  the  bright  face  of  nature 
was  changed  to  a  sombre  cast  by  the  underlying  hu 
man  troubles.  But  how  different  were  my  feelings 
as  we  flew  along  in  the  cars,  conscious  that  I  possessed 
the  means  of  illimitable  wealth.  I  saw  the  possibilities, 
not  the  realities.  In  the  unpainted  house  with  the  de 
caying  porch,  the  rambling  morning-glory  vines,  the 
neglected  garden,  and  the  tumble-down  out-buildings, 
I  saw  the  lordly  and  attractive  mansion  that  might  be, 
brilliant  with  gay  colors  and  full  of  charming  people. 
I  planned  out  highways,  railroads,  villages,  towns, 
cities,  academies,  universities  as  we  whirled  along;  I 
forgot,  for  a  time,  the  miseries  of  mankind  in  my  own 
exaltation  and  happiness.  My  heart  sang  within  me. 
There  was  but  one  black  spot  in  all  my  thoughts, 
and  across  it  in  letters  of  fire  was  written  the  word 
"Sophie." 

Father  was  reading  the  morning  paper,  through  his 
new  gold- framed  spectacles,  in  a  chair  next  me. 
Suddenly  he  made  an  exclamation  of  surprise,  and 
proceeded  to  peruse  something  intently. 

"What  is  it?"  I  asked. 

He  handed  me  the  paper,  with  his  thumb  at  the  top 
of  a  particular  column.  I  read: 

AN   ASTONISHING   AFFAIR— TWO   MEN   MADE 
SUDDENLY  RICH. 

Yesterday  there  arrived  in  town  two  farmer-looking  men — 
roughly  but  cleanly  dressed,  and  evidently  father  and  son  ; 
the  elder  seemed  to  be  about  fifty  or  fifty-five  years  old,  and 
the  younger  about  twenty -two  or  twenty -three  years  of  age. 


RICH.  31 

Each  of  them  bore  a  common  carpet-bag.  Their  fellow-trav 
ellers  on  the  railroad  train  did  not  imagine  that  these  cheap 
sacks  contained  a  large  fortune. 

The  two  travellers,  after  buying  fashionable  suits  of  clothes, 
proceeded  to  the  celebrated  establishment  of  Sutphin  &  Co., 
jewellers,  and  there  produced  two  large-sized  bricks  of  gold. 
Mr.  Higgins,  of  the  firm,  at  first  thought  that  they  were  a 
couple  of  green  farmers  who  had  been  tricked  in  the  old- 
fashioned  way  by  "  confidence  men, "  and  that  the  bricks  were 
simply  lead  with  a  gilt  surface.  And  so  he  proceeded,  smil 
ing  good-naturedly,  as  he  tells  us,  to  bore  into  one  of  them, 
but  his  astonishment  was  great  to  find  that  he  was  mistaken. 
Still  suspicious,  he  asked  permission  to  cut  it  in  half ;  the 
farmers  readily  agreed  to  this ;  and  when  the  brick  was  sep 
arated  into  two  pieces  and  all  the  usual  tests  applied,  it  was 
demonstrated  that  it  was  really  gold  of  extraordinary  fineness 
and  purity.  The  result  was  the  strangers  were  paid  the  sum 
of  $5, 360  cash  for  the  two  bricks.  Mr.  Higgins  was  curious  to 
know  who  the  men  were,  and  so  while  dispatching  one  of 
the  clerks  to  follow  them,  he  hurried  to  the  office  of  the 
chief  of  police  and  had  a  detective  put  upon  their  track. 
They  were  found  at  the  great  jewelry  establishment  of  Messrs. 
Burrows  &  Hogarty,  where  they  sold  two  more  bricks  of  gold 
for  the  sum  of  $4,823.  The  detective  stood  beside  them 
while' they  made  this  sale,  and  was  about  to  arrest  them  and 
compel  them  to  account  for  how  they  came  into  possession 
of  such  valuable  property,  but  he  thought  he  would  track 
them  a  little  farther  and  see  what  they  would  do  next.  He 
followed  them  to  other  establishments,  until  they  had  sold 
gold  bricks  to  the  amount  of  $55,800.  They  proceeded  then 
to  the  First  National  Bank,  where  they  deposited  $55,000, 
taking  certificates  of  deposit  for  it,  in  the  name  of  the 
younger  man,  Ephraim  Benezet.  They  then  went  to  the  office 
of  the  Anglo-American  Loan  and  Trust  Company,  and  paid 
$1,272.50  in  satisfaction  of  an  overdue  mortgage,  given  by 
John  Benezet  and  Mary  his  wife,  of  Butler  County,  Kansas, 
upon  one  hundred  and  sixty  acres  of  land  in  the  vicinity  of 
El  Dorado,  in  that  county.  They  then  visited  establishment 
after  establishment,  purchasing  dry  goods,  furniture,  jewelry, 


32  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

a  carriage,  pictures,  etc.,  and  ordered  them  boxed  and  shipped 
to  the  address  of  the  elder  man,  at  the  town  named,  paying  cash 
in  every  instance.  The  detective  did  not  feel  that  he  would 
be  justified,  under  these  cirumstances,  in  arresting  such  valu 
able  customers  of  our  leading  merchants ,  and  so,  after  shad 
owing  the  Benezets  to  their  hotel,  he  reported  all  the  facts  to 
his  chief.  That  officer  heartily  approved  of  his  prudence  and 
sagacity,  and  in  the  presence  of  the  rest  of  the  force  thanked 
him,  saying  that  these  strangers,  however  they  may  have 
come  by  their  wealth,  were  now  rich  men,  and  it  would  have 
been  very  unwise  and  improper  to  injure  the  trade  of  the 
city  by  offending  them  and  forcing  them  to  trade  elsewhere ; 
in  fact,  he  said  he  hoped  the  members  of  his  force  would  al 
ways  remember  that  the  rule  of  action  which  was  proper  and 
right  when  applied  to  penniless  tramps  could  not  be  made  to 
work  where  the  suspected  party  was  rich.  "Wealth  had  its 
privileges. 

The  chief  then  telegraphed  the  facts  in  the  case  to  the  chief 
of  police  of  El  Dorado,  Kansas,  and  asked  who  the  Benezets 
were,  and  how  they  came  by  the  gold  bricks.  An  answer 
was  soon  received,  saying  that  they  were,  as  was  suspected, 
father  and  son ;  that  they  were  honest,  worthy,  hard-work 
ing  people,  who  lived  on  a  farm  a  few  miles  from  the  town 
of  El  Dorado ;  that  they  had  been  very  poor,  in  fact  bank 
rupt,  like  most  of  their  neighbors,  and  a  mortgage  on  their  farm 
had  been  placed  quite  recently  in  the  hands  of  a  local  attorney 
to  foreclose.  A  few  days  ago  the  younger  Benezet  had  visit 
ed  the  town  and  sold  two  large  gold  nails,  and  bought  house 
hold  necessaries,  of  which  the  family  was  greatly  in  need. 
It  was  supposed  that  the  young  man  in  ploughing  had 
turned  up  an  ancient  deposit,  left  there  by  some  prehistoric 
civilization,  possibly  a  branch  of  the  Aztecs  (this  was  the 
suggestion  of  Dr.  Dunwoody,  who  was  something  of  an 
antiquarian) ,  and  the  "  find"  had  created  a  great  sensation , 
in  fact,  a  number  of  the  boys  and  business  men  of  the  town 
had  gone  out  in  the  night  to  the  farm,  and  dug  over  a  large 
part  of  it,  but  without  finding  anything ;  and  although  they 
carrried  lanterns,  and  must  have  been  seen  by  the  family, 
the  Benezets  made  no  attempt  to  drive  them  off  the  farm  or 


RICH.  33 

to  protect  their  supposed  discovery.  This  was  the  report  that 
came  back  from  El  Dorado. 

The  Benezets  spent  the  night  at  the  theatre  in  Kansas 
City,  and  seemed  to  enjoy  the  play  very  much.  One  of  our 
reporters  called  to  interview  them,  but  they  had  retired  for 
the  night,  after  inquiring  of  the  clerk  the  hour  at  which 
the  morning  train  left  for  their  home. 

LATER. — As  we  go  to  press  a  telegram  is  received  from  the 
editor  of  the  Trumpet  of  Freedom,  of  El  Dorado,  asking  for 
five  hundred  words  of  a  report  of  all  the  details  of  the  actions 
of  the  Benezets  while  in  Kansas  City.  The  news  of  their 
sudden  wealth  has  produced  the  wildest  excitement  in  that 
little  town  ;  all  business  is  practically  suspended  ;  the  whole 
populace  has  turned  out  on  the  streets ;  and  at  every  corner 
buzzing  crowds  of  eager  talkers  and  listeners  are  gathered 
discussing  the  extraordinary  news.  There  was  talk  of  ad 
journing  to  the  court-house  to  hold  a  meeting,  but  at  three 
o'clock  the  cry  was  raised:  "To  the  farm!  To  the  farm !" 
In  ten  minutes  the  whole  town  was  deserted,  except  by  the 
children  and  a  few  sick  people.  The  crowd  swarmed  in  car 
riages,  buggies,  lumber-wagons,  and  on  foot — an  excited 
cavalcade  of  men,  women,  girls,  and  boys,  all  pushing  forward, 
full  of  curiosity  and  expectation.  When  the  head  of  the  tu 
multuous  procession  reached  the  farm  they  found  no  one  at 
home  but  poor  old  Mrs.  Benezet,  who  is  in  feeble  health. 
She  was  in  the  kitchen,  at  work,  when  they  overwhelmed 
her  with  the  news  and  plied  her  with  a  thousand  questions. 
The  leading  citizens,  the  lawyers,  and  clergymen  were  civil 
enough  in  their  inquiries,  but  the  rest  swarmed  into  every 
part  of  the  house,  took  possession  of  the  spades,  shovels,  hoes, 
and  crowbars,  and  were  soon  at  work  digging  up  the  cellar 
and  the  garden,  and  every  other  spot  where  they  thought  the 
rest  of  the  wonderful  gold  bricks  might  be  concealed. 

But  the  search  was  entirely  in  vain.  There  were  no  signs 
of  a  gold  mine,  or  an  Aztec  temple,  or  even  a  mound-builder's 
mound  on  the  place.  The  visitors  excavated  the  floor  of  the 
cellar  to  the  depth  of  six  feet,  and  the  garden  was  ruined, 
heaped  up  in  piles  and  ridges,  but  not  a  scrap  of  gold  was 
found.  Mrs.  Benezet,  if  she  knew  anything,  refused  to 
3 


34  THE    GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

tell  it.  Diligent  inquiry  among  the  neighbors  did  not  re 
veal  that  any  missing  traveller  had  passed  through  that 
neighborhood,  whose  murder  might  have  accounted  for  the 
sudden  wealth  of  the  Benezets.  In  fact,  the  whole  population 
are  at  their  wits'  end  to  find  some  explanation  of  this  extra 
ordinary  accession  of  wealth  by  a  family  whose  appearance 
indicated  nothing  but  extreme  poverty.  It  is  said  that  very 
few  of  the  people  of  the  town  of  El  Dorado  or  vicinity  will 
sleep  a  wink  to-night.  At  eleven  o'clock  they  are  gathered 
in  mobs  in  all  the  principal  stores,  their  numbers  increased 
by  multitudes  of  farmers,  for  the  news  has  spread  with  won- 
derful  rapidity  all  through  the  country.  The  wildest  sugges 
tions  are  made.  The  general  belief  is  that  the  Benezets  have 
found  an  Aztec  temple  of  solid  gold,  and  that  the  bricks 
are  but  a  trifling  part  of  the  whole  "find."  Some  propose 
that  when  the  Benezets  return  they  be  put  to  the  torture,  and 
compelled  to  reveal  the  location  of  the  temple,  or  the  mine, 
or  whatever  it  is.  The  feeling  of  every  man  is  that  he  must 
have  part  of  that  gold ;  their  eyes  shine  with  a  wild  light 
that  is  dangerous.  The  farmers  especially  are  desperate,  and 
they  cannot  understand  why  the  Beuezets  should  carry  off 
that  immense  fortune  while  they  are  unable  to  pay  their  taxes 
or  the  interest  on  their  mortgages.  Indeed,  it  may  be  said 
that  nothing  has  happened,  since  the  firing  on  Fort  Sumter, 
many  years  ago,  that  has  occasioned  so  tremendous  an  ex 
citement  in  this  county  as  the  news  telegraphed  here  yester 
day  by  the  Chief  of  Police  of  Kansas  City. 

"Well,  Eplie,"  said  father,  when  I  laid  down  the 
paper,  "what  do  you  say  to  that?" 

"I  am  very  much  astonished,"  I  replied.  "Two 
days  ago  we  could  have  starved  to  death  in  the  streets 
of  Kansas  City,  and  a  three-line  notice,  in  the  small 
est  type,  in  an  obscure  corner  of  a  newspaper,  would 
have  been  all  the  notice  given  of  us.  Here  we  have 
two  whole  columns,  with  great  head-lines,  and  our 
every  action  observed  and  detailed." 


RICH.  35 

"  But,  Ephe,"  said  my  father,  "  if  they  are  going  to 
mob  us,  and  hang  us  up  by  the  neck,  and  lower  us 
down,  and  haul  us  up  again,  until  we  tell  your  secret, 
and  they  take  the  'golden  bottle'  away  from  you,  we 
had  better  turn  back,  send  for  your  mother  and  the 
family,  and  sell  the  place  at  auction." 

"Well,"  I  replied,  "I  don't  think  they  will  do 
anything  of  the  kind.  You  couldn't  get  a  mob  of 
average  American  citizens  to  hang  a  rich  man.  They 
worship  money  more  than  they  do  their  God.  It  is 
the  Moloch  of  their  idolatry." 

Just  then  the  train  hauled  up  at  a  little  station  and 
a  crowd  of  villagers  poured  into  the  car.  They  con 
versed  with  the  brakeman  and  I  saw  him  pointing  us 
out.  They  rushed  up  to  us,  and  one  said: 

"Misters,  be  ye  the  men  what  found  the  Aztec 
gold  mine?  Where " 

But  just  then  the  conductor  bawled  "all  aboard!" 
the  train  started  with  a  jolt,  and  the  excited  intruders 
scampered  off,  like  rats,  jumping  to  the  platform  full 
of  disappointed  curiosity. 

It  seemed  to  me  that  every  one  on  the  train  stalked 
through  our  car  to  stare  at  us.  A  smooth-faced, 
white-collared  clergyman,  all  smiles,  benevolence,  and 
rubbings-of -hands,  opened  conversation  and  the  crowd 
gathered  around  us.  But  it  was  not  a  rude  crowd; 
indeed,  it  was  deferential  and  obsequious;  they  looked 
through  us  and  saw  our  bank  account,  and,  in  the 
distance,  they  perceived  dimly  the  buried  Aztec 
temple,  or  the  hidden  gold  mine,  or  whatever  it  was; 


36  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

and  they  were  all  smiles  and  attention.  Not  a  word 
that  we  uttered  was  lost  upon  them;  the  simplest 
phrase  about  the  weather  sank  deep  into  their  inner 
consciousness,  to  be  treasured  in  their  memories  and 
repeated  for  months,  as  oracular  and  profound  utter 
ances,  brighter  than  diamonds,  weightier  than  gold. 

After  a  few  commonplace  remarks  about  the  crops 
and  the  seasons,  my  reverend  friend  first  explained 
that  men  of  his  cloth  always  have  their  thoxights — very 
properly — fixed  on  the  things  of  another  and  better 
world  (this  with  elongated  jaw  and  a  sigh) ;  yet  he 
confessed  that,  being  merely  human,  they  possessed 
the  natural  curiosity  of  their  species,  and  he  had  read, 
with  profound  interest,  the  report  in  the  morning 
papers  of  our  great  discovery,  and  would  like  to  ask 
us  a  few  questions. 

I  answered  his  inquiries  politely  enough,  rambling 
off  upon  collateral  matters,  but  giving  him  no  infor 
mation  which  he  did  not  already  possess.  It  was  a 
very  pretty  game  of  parry  and  thrust,  and  it  was  in 
terrupted  by  the  brakeman  crying  out  the  name  of 
another  town,  larger  than  the  last. 

"Look  at  the  crowd!"  cried  one  of  the  passengers. 

The  depot  platform  was  black  with  people. 

The  brakeman  was  kept  busy  pointing  us  out. 
The  villagers  broke  into  the  car;  they  flattened  their 
noses  against  the  windows;  and  then  some  cried: 
"Benezet!  Benezet!  Speech!  speech!" 

At  every  station  the  crowds  increased  and  the  ex 
citement  became  greater.  The  conductor  at  length 


RICH.  37 

requested  us  to  step  to  the  platform  and  satisfy  the 
natural  curiosity  of  the  people.  Lord  !  how  they 
shouted  when  we  appeared,  and  they  pushed  forward 
by  the  hundred  to  shake  hands.  Some  were  moved 
by  the  simple  admiration  which  mere  wealth  creates; 
others  saw  in  us  possibilities  that  dilated  their  hearts, 
for  had  we  not  been,  like  themselves,  poor  struggling 
men,  up  to  the  ears  in  debt,  and  had  we  not,  by  a 
sudden  turn  of  the  wheel  of  fortune,  achieved  inde 
pendence  of  poverty  and  the  money-lenders?  I  was 
forced  to  speak  a  few  words  to  them  at  every  station. 
And  here  a  curious  transition  was  gradually  worked 
within  me.  My  only  thought,  when  I  realized  that 
I  held,  in  the  golden  bottle,  the  source  of  immense 
wealth,  was  that  I  would  lift  my  family  and  myself 
out  of  wretchedness.  I  had  visions  of  comfort,  joy, 
the  luxuries  of  life,  books,  music,  pleasant  society, 
travel,  culture,  everything  that  goes  to  delight  the  heart 
of  man.  But  when  I  looked  out  over  those  swarm 
ing  multitudes,  with  their  hot  eyes  and  eager,  drawn 
faces,  and  read  in  them  the  same  old  story  of  unend 
ing  struggle  with  untoward  circumstances,  my  heart 
went  out  to  them,  and  I  resolved  to  do  all  in  my  power 
to  help  them  and  make  mankind  nobler  and  happier. 
And  something  of  this  must  have  burned  in  my  words 
and  shone  in  my  face,  for  the  cheers  were  vociferous. 
And  so  from  town  to  town  our  progress  was  a  con 
tinuous  ovation. 


CHAPTEE  VI. 

GOING   HOME. 

FATHER  grew  more  and  more  uneasy  as  we  drew  near 
the  town  of  El  Dorado.  He  could  not  forget  those 
suggestions  about  putting  us  to  the  torture. 

"Why,"  said  he,  "it  is  in  the  power  of  that  villa- 
nous  editor  of  the  Trumpet  of  Freedom  to  rouse  the 
people  up  to  mob  us!  " 

"Don't  have  any  fear  on  that  point,"  I  replied. 
"I  have  here,  in  my  pocket-book,  two  little  clippings 
from  that  worthy's  paper.  I  cut  them  out  because 
they  were  the  first  occasions  when  I  was  referred  to  in 
public  print.  Just  read  them,  and  they  will  show 
you  how  the  possession  of  wealth  is  likely  to  affect 
that  gentleman.  Here  is  the  first  one." 

I  handed  him  a  little  slip  which  contained  these 
words: 

CURIOUS. 

It  has  not  been  generally  supposed  that  Kansas  possessed  any 
relics  of  a  civilized  race  dwelling  here  before  the  whites  took 
possession  of  the  country,  but  yesterday  Mr.  William  Burke, 
our  popular  jeweller,  whose  advertisement  will  be  found  in 
another  column,  purchased  of  a  farmer  boy,  named  Ephe 
Benezet,  two  objects  which  will  go  far  toward  establishing  a 
different  conclusion.  They  were  two  gold  nails,  each  about 

38 


GOING    HOME.  39 

four  inches  long,  shaped  very  much  like  old-fashioned 
wrought- iron  nails,  showing  even  the  marks  of  the  hammer 
with  which  they  were  made.  The  gold  was  of  the  finest 
quality.  The  boy  said  he  had  found  them  in  ploughing. 
He  is  a  long-legged,  ignorant,  gawky  fellow,  too  lazy  to  work 
to  help  his  old  father  out  of  debt,  but  given  (so  the  neigh 
bors  say)  to  lying  around  and  reading  trashy  books.  It  is 
supposed  that  his  story  is  true  and  that  he  ploughed  these  nails 
up,  and  that  they  are  relics  of  some  by-gone  age.  Some  of 
our  scientists  should  obtain  them  and  not  let  them  be  put 
into  the  melting-pot. 

The  second  notice  appeared  after  the  sale  of  the 
second  and  larger  batch  of  kails.  The  tone  of  the 
paper  had  visibly  changed.  It  read  as  follows: 

IMPORTANT. 

With  our  usual  enterprise  we  gave  the  public  in  our  last 
issue  an  account  of  the  sale  of  two  golden  nails  to  Mr.  Will 
iam  Burke,  the  well-known  jeweller  of  this  city  (his  adver 
tisement  will  be  found  on  our  fourth  page) .  Since  then  we 
have  to  record  that  the  same  young  man,  Mr.  Ephraim  Ben- 
ezet,  son  of  that  worthy  gentleman,  Mr.  John  Benezet,  who 
lives  five  miles  from  town,  has  returned  and  sold  Mr.  Burke 
twenty-one  more  golden  nails.  The  amount  of  the  sale  was 
$480.  This  is  really  startling  and  important  news,  and  may 
be  of  great  importance  to  the  people  of  this  section.  It  would 
look  as  if  the  Benezet  family  had  stumbled  on  a  fortune. 
It  is  suggested  by  some  of  our  excited  townsmen  that  they 
have  found  a  buried  temple  of  the  old  Aztec  sun-worship  on 
their  farm,  every  part  of  it  being  pure  gold.  If  such  a  sug 
gestion  should  prove  true  there  may  be  similar  remains  on 
other  farms — yes,  beneath  this  very  town !  The  young 
gentleman,  Mr.  Ephraim  Benezet,  who  has  on  both  occa 
sions  brought  in  the  golden  objects  to  sell,  is  a  young  man 
of  fine  intelligence  and  a  great  student — a  credit,  indeed,  to 
Butler  County. 

Our  people  are  very  much  excited  over  the  news,  and  we 


40  THE    GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

hope  to  have  fuller  details  in  our  next  issue.  We  shall  de 
vote  special  attention  to  the  matter.  Now  is  a  good  time  to 
subscribe  for  the  Trumpet  of  Freedom.  Remember  our  terms, 
one  dollar  a  year,  invariably  in  advance.  The  best  paper  in 
the  county,  with  a  larger  circulation  than  any  other;  don't 
forget  our  motto:  "neutral  in  all  things,  independent  in 
nothing. " 

"Do  you  think,"  I  said  to  my  father,  "that  the 
fellow  who  ascended  the  scale  of  adulation  as  rapidly 
as  that  will  lead  a  mob  to  hang  us  when  he  hears  of 
our  great  wealth?  No,  no!  there  is  no  danger  of 
it." 

At  a  station,  just  before  we  reached  the  town  of 
El  Dorado,  a  newsboy  ran  into  the  car,  crying: 

"Here's  a  copy  of  the  extra  Trumpet  of  Freedom. 
Full  account  of  the  discovery  of  a  gold  mine  and  a 
statute  of  the  sun!  " 

I  bought  a  ccpy  and  found  the  whole  first  page 
filled  with  a  glowing  article  about  ourselves  and  the 
gold  mine.  Nothing  had  been  omitted  that  ingenuity 
or  industry  could  scrape  together  to  satisfy  the  insatia 
ble  curiosity  of  the  public.  There  was  a  long  tele 
gram  from  Kansas  City,  together  with  summaries  of 
the  editorial  comments  of  the  various  Kansas  City 
newspapers.  There  was  a  full  account  of  the  ancient 
Aztec  civilization.  There  were  portraits  of  our  whole 
family;  the  one  of  myself  being  especially  handsome 
and  conspicuous.  There  was  an  account  of  our  pedi 
gree,  dating  back  to  the  Mayflower'  and  a  glowing 
biography  of  my  mother's  great-granduncle,  who  was 
a  sutler's  clerk  in  the  Revolutionary  War.  There 


GOING    HOME.  41 

was  also  a  picture  of  our  tumble-down  house,  touched 
up  to  look  like  quite  a  handsome  mansion ;  and  there, 
too,  was  our  poor  old  fly-bitten  bull,  a  most  demure 
and  harmless  creature,  represented  as  rampaging  down 
a  forty-acre  field,  with  head  up  and  tail  perpendicu 
lar,  looking  for  all  the  world  like  a  wild  and  ferocious 
aurochs  in  a  Muscovite  forest.  The  touch  of  gold 
had  beautified  our  faces,  our  dwelling,  our  charac 
ters,  our  pedigree,  our  stock,  and  even  our  poultry; 
for  the  hens  and  roosters  looked  as  if  they  might  have 
taken  the  first  premium  at  every  agricultural  fair  in 
Kansas  for  the  last  twenty  years.  The  whole  first 
page  was  nothing  but  BENEZET — BENEZET — BEN- 
EZET,  until  the  eye  wearied  of  it.  Silly  stories 
were  told  to  illustrate  what  a  great  and  illustrious 
family  we  were;  and  I  was  boldly  proclaimed  to  be 
the  ablest  young  man  in  ten  counties.  The  editor 
was  down  on  his  stomach  and  crawling  all  over  the 
ground  in  circles,  on  his  vest  buttons,  and  rubbing 
his  nose  in  the  mire  before  the  august  spectacle  of 
those  gold  bricks  and  the  awful  possibilities  that  lay 
behind  them.  He  fairly  shrieked  with  ecstatic  head 
lines,  and  big  type  that  seemed  to  stand  on  the  very 
tiptoe  of  exultation. 

THEY   ARE    COMING! 

THEY  LEFT  KANSAS  CITY  AT  NINE  O'CLOCK  THIS  MORNING  ! 
THEY  WILL  BEACH  HERE  AT  FOUR  O'CLOCK  AND 

THIRTY-TWO  MINUTES  ! 

THE  COMMON  COUNCIL  APPOINTS  A  COMMITTEE  TO  MEET 

THEM!     A  BANQUET   THIS  EVENING  AT  THE 

COURT-HOUSE  !    SPEECHES  AND  MUSIC,  ETC. 


42  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

"There,  old  gentleman,"  I  said,  as  father  read  the 
paper  over  my  shoulder,  "  does  that  look  like  hauling 
us  up  and  letting  us  down  again,  and  then  hauling  us 
up  again,  till  we  tell  where  the  Aztec  temple  is?" 

Father  smiled  a  complacent  smile. 

"Ephe,"  he  said,  "isn't  it  wonderful!  Just  to 
think;  these  people  would  have  let  the  whole  ca 
boodle  of  us  starve  to  death  out  on  the  old  farm,  and 
never  held  out  a  hand  to  help  us.  They  would  have 
seen  that  mortgage  foreclosed,  and  you  and  me  and 
the  old  woman  and  all  the  rest  of  us  driven  out  on 
the  public  highway,  with  no  more  pity  than  they 
have  felt  for  the  thousands  of  other  honest  farmers 
who  have  been  squeezed  off  the  face  of  the  land  during 
the  last  twenty  years  in  Kansas." 

"Dad,"  I  said,  for  that  was  my  familiar  way  of 
addressing  my  honored  father  at  times,  "did  you 
ever  read  Shakespeare?" 

"No,"  he  replied,  "I  can't  say  I  did." 

"Well,"  I  said,  "you  can't  begin  too  soon,  for  you 
are  a  rich  man  now,  and  culture  and  wealth  always 
go  together  in  America.  A  rich  man  who  wasn't  a 
Shakespearean  scholar, would  be  a  great  curiosity  in 
the  United  States.  Well,  there  is  a  play  called  'Ham 
let,'  which  it  is  said  Shakespeare  wrote.  Hamlet  has 
an  uncle,  a  measly  old  villain,  a  scaly-looking  old 
'cuss'  who  kills  his  brother  by  putting  patent  medicine 
in  his  ear,  and  then  becomes  king;  and  young  Ham 
let  philosophizes  upon  the  way  in  which  the  multitude 
get  down  on  their  bellies  and  wriggle  in  the  mud  be- 


GOING    HOME.  43 

fore  his  uncle,  just  as  these  chaps  are  doing  before  us, 
and  he  says: 

"'It  is  not  strange;  for  my  uncle  is  king  of  Den 
mark,  and  those  that  would  make  mows  at  him  while 
my  father  lived,  give  twenty,  forty,  an  hundred 
ducats  apiece  for  his  picture  in  little.  'Sblood, 
there  is  something  in  this  more  than  natural,  if  phi 
losophy  could  find  it  out. ' 

"I  tell  you,  dad,  human  nature  is  the  meanest 
thing  on  the  planet;  and  we  mustn't  lose  our  heads 
or  be  carried  away  by  the  flatteries  of  the  crowd ;  for  I 
have  no  doubt  that  if  a  telegram  came  from  Kansas 
City  saying  that  those  bricks  which  we  sold  yester 
day  had  turned  out  to  be  brass,  the  same  fellows  who 
are  gathering  to  give  us  an  ovation  would  hang 
us  with  equal  spirit  and  unanimity.  The  rich  man 
should  never  forget  that  the  honors  which  accompany 
him  are  not  paid  to  himself,  but  to  his  money;  and 
without  it  he  would  not  be  of  any  more  account  than 
a  half-naked  tramp.  If  they  could  get  that  idea  into 
their  heads  it  would  knock  the  nonsense  out  of  them. 
Of  themselves  they  are  nothing." 

I  had  to  read  the  old  gentleman  this  lecture,  for  I 
perceived  he  had  already  begun  to  perk  himself  up, 
and  swell  and  carry  his  chin  an  inch  higher  than  I 
had  ever  seen  it  before:  and  when  he  spoke  of  the 
"common  people,"  there  was  a  something  in  his  tone 
which  indicated  loftiness  and  distance,  as  if  he  were 
talking  from  a  mountain  top  down  into  a  valley.  I 
very  much  fear  that-  success  is  going  to  turn  the  old 


44  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

gentleman's  head.  For  my  part,  whether  my  good 
sense  is  stronger  or  my  memory  better,  I  cannot  forget 
the  past  in  the  present. 

But  here  we  are  at  the  station.  Lord!  what  a 
crowd!  The  whole  town,  men,  women,  and  children, 
had  turned  out  to  do  us  honor.  And  what  a  roar  of 
cheers  and  banging  of  drums  and  braying  of  trumpets 
as  we  stepped  out.  And  when  the  multitude  caught 
sight  of  our  broadcloth  suits,  and  high  silk  hats,  and 
new  yellow  leather  valises,  silver-plated,  they  roared 
again,  louder  than  ever;  for  these  were  the  visible 
confirmations  and  outward  signs  and  tokens  of  the 
marvellous  story  told  by  the  telegraphic  wires.  The 
latter  they  had  heard,  but  here  they  saw,  with  their 
very  eyes,  the  men  who  had  departed  in  rough  garb 
coming  back  clothed  in  a  glory  unknown  to  Solomon; 
for  silk  hats  were  unheard  of  among  "the  chosen 
people,"  although  their  descendants  have  dealt  exten 
sively  in  them  since — that  is,  ripe  ones.  The  Lord 
did  a  great  deal  for  the  Jews,  but  he  did  not  vouch 
safe  to  them  the  glistening,  cylindrical,  glorious  head 
temples  of  our  modern  civilization;  the  tiles  which, 
in  every  other  country  but  the  barbaric  West,  mark 
the  distinction  between  the  gentleman  and  the  mere 
man. 

The  leading  lawyer  of  the  town  (the  miseries  and 
follies  of  the  people  sustained  three  or  four  of  these 
representatives  of  trained  and  acute  intellect),  a 
fellow  by  the  name  of  Spooner — one  of  the  devil's 
"long  spoons,"  a  cadaverous,  lengthy,  black-jawed, 


GOING    HOME.  45 

hard-faced,  wolfish-looking  creature,  with  ten  times 
a  wolf's  ferocity  and  appetite  for  spoil;  a  man  I 
utterly  loathed,  for  he  was  most  merciless  plunderer 
of  the  poor  and  distressed  in  the  whole  country — 
stepped  forward  to  deliver  the  speech  of  welcome. 
He  was  quite  a  stringer-together  of  words,  but  his 
verbiage  had  no  more  connection  with  his  heart  or  con 
science  than  the  sea- weed  of  "the  Sargasso  sea"  has 
with  the  bottom  of  the  ocean  on  whose  top  it  floats. 

"Illustrious  men!"  he  began,  "you  left  us,  as  it 
were,  but  yesterday,  unknown  and  obscure;  you  re 
turn  world-famous  to  the  bosoms  of  the  people  who 
love  you  and  are  proud  of  you."  (Great  cheering.) 
"You  return  as  Columbus  did  to  Spain,  bearing  with 
him  the  golden  treasures  (immense  cheering)  of  the 
new  world.  You  return  to  bring,  as  we  fondly  hope, 

a  new  era  of  unprecedented  prosperity  to  this "  the 

rest  of  the  sentence  was  lost  in  the  uproar  of  the  ex 
cited  populace,  but  through  it  I  could  see  the  human- 
wolf  waving  his  arms  wildly,  the  sweat  pouring  in 
streams  from  his  ugly  face. 

There  was  no  use  of  any  more  oratory  (the  rest  of 
the  noble  oration,  two  columns  in  length,  appeared  in 
the  next  issue  of  the  Trumpet  of  Freedom) ,  but  the  impa 
tient  crowd  could  not  be  restrained;  they  rushed  for 
ward  to  embrace  and  shake  hands  with  my  father  and 
myself.  I  thought  they  would  "kill  us  with  kind 
ness;"  in  the  crush  one  woman  fainted;  a  corpulent 
dry-goods  merchant  was  flattened  out  until  he  looked 
as  if  he  had  passed  through  a  clothes-wringer,  and  a  boy 


46  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

had  his  leg  broken;  while  my  right  arm  was  worked 
like  a  pump-handle  until  it  was  sore  for  a  week  after 
ward. 

But  at  last,  surrounded  by  the  swarming,  surging, 
yelling,  admiring  mob,  we  fought  our  way  to  the 
principal  hotel,  where  the  best  rooms  had  been  en 
gaged  for  us.  It  was  one  o'clock  the  next  morning 
before  the  last  of  the  enthusiastic  mob  dispersed,  and 
the  streets  around  the  hotel  resumed  their  usual  peace 
ful  midnight  quiet. 

The  next  day  the  furniture,  the  carpets,  the  car 
riage,  the  dry  goods,  etc.,  began  to  arrive,  and  the 
enthusiasm  redoubled.  The  whole  town  went  wild. 
No  one  suggested  that  we  ought  to  have  bought  those 
goods  at  home.  The  truth  is,  as  I  soon  discovered, 
in  America  a  rich  man,  like  the  king  of  England 
under  the  common  law,  "can  do  no  wrong."  I  was 
really  ashamed  to  read  the  fulsome  praises  of  myself 
in  the  next  issue  of  the  Trumpet  of  Freedom.  Ac 
cording  to  the  worthy  editor  Cicero  was  an  imbecile, 
as  an  orator,  compared  with  me;  as  a  philosopher  Sir 
Isaac  Newton  and  Charles  Darwin  were  nowhere ;  as  a 
philanthropist  (I  had  not  yet  done  a  single  thing  to 
deserve  the  good  opinion  of  mankind),  Wilberforce, 
Girard,  and  Peabody  were  not  to  be  mentioned  in  the 
same  hour.  My  lightest  expressions  were  taken  up 
and  used  as  the  text  for  editorials,  and  marvellous  and 
recondite  meanings  were  found  in  them,  which  I  myself 
had  never  dreamed  of.  Eeally,  I  do  not  wonder  that 
the  very  wealthy  trample  upon  mankind;  for  they  find 


GOING    HOME.  47 

the  whole  world,  except  a  few  noble  and  isolated  souls, 
prostrate  on  the  earth  beneath  their  feet;  they  can't 
move  without  treading  on  some  surrendered  human 
right  or  some  obsequious,  cringing  human  body. 

And  I  said  to  myself:  if  all  this  adulation  comes 
from  the  possession  of  the  comparatively  small  fortune 
which  I  possess,  what  would  these  creatures  say  if  they 
knew  I  carried  in  the  breast-pocket  of  this  coat  a  for 
tune  much  greater  than  all  the  accumulated  wealth  of 
all  the  world?  Why,  they  would  simply  die  from  an 
utter  and  absolute  collapse  of  servility!  They  would 
perish  out  of  an  illimitable  access  of  baseness! 


CHAPTER  VII. 

I   BEGIN    WORK. 

Now  all  this  time  there  had  been  a  strong  senti 
ment  turbulently  at  work  in  my  heart;  it  was  a  senti 
ment  of  great  pity  for  the  wretches  who  suffered,  as 
we  had  suffered,  but  the  other  day.  I  recalled,  with 
vivid  distinctness,  my  own  feelings,  as  I  lay  there  and 
looked  at  the  bare  rafters  of  that  garret,  and  counted 
the  knots — the  unutterable  woe  of  poverty  closing  in 
upon  me,  above,  around  me,  as  if  the  blue  heavens 
had  turned  into  iron,  and  were  slowly  descending  to 
crush  me  and  grind  me  into  the  earth.  And  I 
thanked  God  that  I  possessed  the  telescopic  power  to 
see  through  the  planetary  distance  which  separated  my 
soul  from  the  soul  of  my  neighbor;  and  to  remember 
his  miseries  in  the  midst  of  my  own  happiness.  And 
yet — I  said  to  myself — let  no  man  take  any  pride  in 
any  good  quality  he  may  possess;  for  no  man  ever 
made  the  ten-thousandth  part  of  himself;  and  every 
thing  that  is  admirable  in  him  is  not  of  the  dust, 
the  lime,  the  sand,  the  phosphorus;  but  it  is  a  shedding 
of  the  spirit  of  goodness  from  the  external  spiritual 
world:  a  part  of  the  prompting  that  keeps  the  uni- 

48 


I  BEGIN   WORK.  49 

verse  in  motion.  And  this,  I  felt,  was  especially 
so  in  my  case.  The  Influence  which  had  sent  that 
strange  old  man — the  "Pity  of  God" — to  me,  with 
the  "Golden  Bottle,"  was  no  doubt  filling  my  heart 
with  the  impulses  which  were  to  color  my  whole 
life.  I  was  impelled,  as  all  are,  to  the  appointed 
work  of  life. 

And  so  I  first  hunted  up  a  lawyer  of  the  town 
named  Archibald  M.  Hayes.  He  was  originally 
from  one  of  the  New  England  States — New  Hamp 
shire,  I  think.  He  was  a  fair-haired,  pleasant-faced, 
genial,  honest  man,  full  of  kindly  thoughts  toward  his 
fellows.  He  was  not  a  man-hunter ;  and,  as  a  result, 
he  was  poor;  for  in  our  Western  towns  the  people 
are  like  shipwrecked  mariners  on  desert  islands; 
every  man  is  ready  to  eat  his  fellows;  and  the  amount 
of  his  substance  is  usually  symbolic  of  the  number 
he  has  devoured.  The  village  capitalist  is  like  the 
sailor  in  the  "Bab  Ballads,"  who  had  cannibalized 
the  whole  crew  of  the  Nancy  Bell,  and  who  thus 
tells  his  grewsome  story: 

"And  I  never  larf,  and  I  never  smile, 

And  I  never  lark  nor  play  ; 
But  I  sit  and  croak,  and  a  single  joke 
I  have — which  is  to  say : 

'Oh,  I  am  a  cook,  and  a  captain  bold, 

And  the  mate  of  the  Nancy  brig, 
And  a  bo'sun  tight,  and  a  midshipmite, 
And  the  crew  of  the  captain's  gig. '" 

There    are,    of    course,   in    every    community    noble 

.1 


50  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

exceptions;  but  what  Young  wrote  in  his  "Night 

Thoughts,"  of   the   conditions   in  England  two    or 

three  generations  ago,  is  true  to-day  of  all  parts  of 
the  United  States. 

"Eager  ambition's  fiery  chase  I  see  ; 
I  see  the  circling  hunt  of  noisy  men, 
Burst  law's  enclosure  ;  leap  the  mounds  of  right ; 
Pursuers  and  pursued,  each  other's  prey 
Till  Death — that  mighty  hunter — earths  them  all. " 

I  asked  Mr.  Hayes  if  he  knew  of  any  parties  whose 
homes  had  been  foreclosed  on,  but  who  still  had  the 
right  to  redeem  them. 

"Oh,  yes!"  he  replied,  "there  are  hundreds  of 
them." 

I  handed  him  five  hundred  dollars. 

"What  is  this  for?"  he  asked. 

"It  is  a  retaining  fee  for  yourself,"  I  replied.  "I 
propose  to  do  some  good  in  the  world;  and  I  want 
an  honest  and  intelligent  man  to  help  me.  I  pro 
pose  that  you  shall  at  once  find  every  farmer  or 
mechanic  who  has  lost  his  home,  but  whose  redemp 
tion  period  has  not  yet  expired,  and  advance  him  the 
money  to  save  his  property,  on  ten  or  twenty  years' 
time,  at  two  per  cent  per  annum." 

Mr.  Hayes  rose  to  his  feet,  pushed  the  hair  back 
from  his  forehead,  and  looked  at  me  wildly,  intently, 
and  with  alarm. 

"Pardon  me,  my  dear  sir,"  he  said,  "I  don't  want 
to  insult  you — but — but — are  you  in  your  right 
mind?  It  would  take  more  money  than  you  are 


I  BEGIN  WORK.  51 

worth,  many  times  over,  to  carry  out  your  proposal; 
and  to  lend  money  at  two  per  cent,  when  it  is  worth 
from  ten  and  a  bonus  up  to  forty  per  cent,  is — 
pardon  the  expression — insanity!" 

And  he  pushed  the  five  hundred  dollars  across 
the  table  to  me. 

"  I  do  not  want  to  take  advantage  of  a  temporary 
aberration  of  your  mind,"  he  said  firmly,  but  quite 
respectfully. 

"My  dear  sir,"  I  replied,  "I  am  glad  to  see  that 
you  are  as  honest  as  report  gives  you  out.  You 
must  help  me  to  do  the  good  I  contemplate.  You 
need  have  no  fears  about  the  extent  of  my  fortune. 
I  will  undertake  to  pay  off  every  mortgage  in  Kansas 
— we  may  come  to  that  in  time — but  at  present  I 
simply  propose  to  help  the  poor  fellows  who  are  un 
der  the  harrow  in  this  my  own  county.  They  can 
never  get  out  of  debt  paying  the  rates  of  interest 
they  do,  but  with  loans  at  two  per  cent  per  annum 
they  can.  And  really,  I  would  not  care  if  they 
never  paid  me  a  penny  of  principal  or  interest;  but 
I  know  that  most  of  them  are  too  proud  to  accept 
a  gift  outright,  and  therefore  I  propose  to  help  them 
with  loans,  on  their  ow»n  time,  at  low  rates  of 
interest." 

Mr.  Hayes'  astonishment,  expressed  in  every  line 
of  his  face,  was  unbounded.  He  still  had  his  doubts 
about  my  sanity;  but  my  manner  was  so  calm,  and 
my  assurances  so  positive,  that  he  could  not  help 
but  accept  my  statements,  though  with  many  mis- 


52  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

givings;  and  at  last  lie  reluctantly  took  the  money 
I  had  placed  before  him.  He  left  me  to  go  to  the 
office  of  the  register  of  deeds  to  make  out  a  list  of 
the  homesteads  foreclosed  upon  within  the  past  year. 

I  said  to  him  at  parting : 

"  Come  to  me  at  once  if  there  are  any  cases  that 
need  immediate  action." 


CHAPTER   VIII. 

THE    THUNDERBOLT. 

I  WALKED  to  the  office  of  tlie  Trumpet  of  Freedom, 
and  wrote  out  and  handed  the  editor,  with  a  five 
dollar  bill,  the  following  advertisement.  I  shall 
never  forget  the  unbounded  astonishment  with  which 
he  read  it.  He  looked  at  me  wildly  and  edged 
around  until  he  got  near  the  iron  poker,  with  the 
stove  between  us. 

"Do  not  be  alarmed,"  I  said  quietly;  "I  am  per 
fectly  sane  and  harmless." 

My  manner  reassured  him  somewhat. 

"  But  two  per  cent  per  annum !  Great  heavens !"  he 
cried,  "no  sane  man  can  propose  to  lend  money  in 
Kansas  at  two  per  cent  per  annum.  Why,  my  dear 
sir,  the  United  States  Treasury  could  not  supply  the 
demand!  Two  per  cent  per  annum!  Why,  only 
this  morning,  Banker  Smithers  was  wondering  how 
you  would  invest  your  money,  and  he  said  to  me  h^ 
could  put  you  onto  a  lay  that  would  yield  you  forty- 
five  per  cent  per  annum.  He  is  going  to  talk  to  you 
about  it." 

"Forty-five  per  cent!"  I  cried.  "There  is  no 
53 


54  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

man  in  Kansas  can  pay  such  a  rate.  It  simply 
means  ruin  to  the  borrower,  and  the  transfer  of  the 
property  of  the  many  into  the  hands  of  the  few;  the 
reduction  of  the  people  to  serfdom,  and  the  overthrow 
of  our  free  institutions.  Why,  the  farmers  cannot 
pay  ten  .per  cent;  no,  nor  eight,  nor  six  per  cent. 
The  mortgaged  farm  is,  in  nine  cases  out  of  ten,  a 
lost  farm." 

The  editor's  eyes  opened  very  widely. 

"  These  are  extraordinary  views  for  a  rich  man  to 
hold,"  he  said;  "I  should  expect  to  hear  them  at  a 
meeting  of  crazy,  Farmer- Alliance  cranks,  or  at  an  as 
semblage  of  Knights  of  Labor;  but  for  a  wealthy  man, 
whose  first  instinct  should  be  to  increase  his  fortune, 
they  are  extraordinary.  What  business  is  it  of  yours 
what  becomes  of  the  borrowers?" 

"Business  of  mine?"  I  replied  warmly;  "it  is  my 
business  that  this  country  be  not  depopulated ;  that 
families  be  not  broken  up  by  poverty,  and  driven 
to  evil  lives  by  wretchedness;  it  is  my  business  that 
humanity  be  not  degraded  into  beastliness,  and  liberty 
made  a  mockery  and  a  reproach.  But  do  you  de 
cline  my  advertisement?" 

"Not  at  all,"  he  replied  quickly,  coming  forward 
from  behind  the  fortification  of  the  stove;  "indeed  it 
is  none  of  my  business  what  you  do  with  your 
money;  but  I  could  not  help  giving  you  a  little 
good  advice." 

The  next  day  the  advertisement  appeared.  It 
read  as  follows: 


THE   THUNDERBOLT.  55 

» 

NOTICE. 

I  am  prepared  to  loan  money  on  real  estate  security,  in  city  or 
country,  in  this  county  occupied  as  homes,  on  from  one  to 
twenty  years'  time,  as  the  borrower  may  prefer,  at  two  (2)  per 
cent  per  annum,  without  bonus  of  any  kind.  I  am  also  ready 
to  advance  money,  at  the  same  rate,  to  parties  whose  homes 
have  been  foreclosed  upon,  but  who  still  have  an  equity  of 
redemption  in  the  same.  I  will  also  advance  to  any  person 
who  has  lost  his  homestead  the  money  to  buy  it  back,  when 
he  is  able  to  do  so,  on  the  same  terms  as  above.  All  parties 
will  apply  to  Archibald  M.  Hayes,  who  will  arrange  all  the 
details  and  pay  over  the  money. 

EPHRAIM  BENEZET. 

A  thunderbolt  falling  out  of  a  clear  sky,  and  tear 
ing  the  Court  House,  at  one  stroke,  into  "inch  bits," 
could  not  have  created  greater  astonishment  than  this 
simple  little  advertisement.  If  highwaymen  had 
raided  the  town,  and  emptied  all  the  banks,  the  in 
dignation  could  not  have  been  greater  among  the 
business  men. 

The  news  spread.  It  flew  like  electricity  from 
house  to  house.  The  general  verdict  was  that  I 
was  as  crazy  as  a  March  hare,  and  that  my  money 
would  not  hold  out;  and  the  unfortunate  debtors 
flocked  into  town,  each  one  hurrying  to  get  a  dip 
into  my  purse  before  it  was  exhausted.  The  street 
around  Mr.  Hayes'  office  swarmed  with  a  mighty 
multitude,  fighting,  wrangling,  pushing,  swearing, 
screaming,  to  get  at  the  bewildered  attorney,  who, 
with  six  clerks  to  help  him,  was  registering  the  ap 
plications  in  their  order,  as  fast  as  they  could  be  taken 
down. 


56  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

That  night — or  rather  the  next  morning — at  one 
o'clock,  there  came  a  rapping  at  my  bed- room  door 
in  the  hotel,  not  loud  enough  to  awaken  the  adjoining 
sleepers,  but  a  persistent  and  gentle  tapping.  I 
opened  the  door  and  Mr.  Hayes  entered.  I  lighted 
the  lamp.  I  found  my  visitor  looking  very  pale  and 
flurried. 

"What  is  the  matter?"  I  asked. 

"The  bankers,  and  in  fact  all  the  business  men," 
he  said,  "are  terribly  excited.  Your  course  will 
destroy  their  business.  Merchants,  doctors,  lawyers, 
clergymen,  in  fact  all  parties,  charge  high  rates  of 
interest  on  every  dollar  due  them:  you  are  smashing 
everything.  They  held  a  meeting  this  afternoon, 
and  Spooner — the  fellow  who  made  that  speech  of 
welcome  to  you — has  prepared  the  papers,  and  to 
morrow  morning  you  are  to  be  arrested  on  a  charge 
of  insanity,  and  sent  to  the  Insane  Asylum ;  and  once 
there  they  will  have  political  influence  enough  to 
keep  you  there  for  years.  The  worst  of  it  is,  that 
they  have  seen  your  father  and  worked  upon  him, 
and  he  agrees  that  you  are  crazy,  and  are  about  to 
squander  the  fortune  which  properly  belongs  to  your 
family;  and  he  is  to  be  here  to-morrow  to  help  them, 
and  the  proceedings  are  to  be  instituted  in  his  name." 

"But  I  shall  defend  myself,"  I  said. 

"Defend  yourself!"  he  cried,  "why,  there  isn't 
a  jury  in  Kansas  that  would  not  convict  any  man  of 
insanity  who  would  lend  money  at  two  per  cent  per 
annum,  when  he  could  get  twelve  to  fifty  per  cent." 


THE   THUNDERBOLT.  57 

"What  can  I  do?"  I  asked. 

"  You  must  get  out  of  this  at  once.  I  have  a  fast 
horse  and  buggy,  and  a  good  driver  at  the  corner, 
who  will  take  you  out  of  the  county  before  sun-up, 
and  leave  you  at  a  distant  railroad  station." 

"You  are  very  kind,"  I  said;  "I  will  follow  your 
advice.  But  we  must  not  give  up  the  good  work. 
You  must  continue  taking  applications,  and  I  will 
send  you  drafts  from  New  York." 

"There  it  goes  again!"  he  cried,  throwing  up  his 
hands  in  despair.  "Don't  talk  that  way!  Here  are 
the  five  hundred  dollars  you  gave  me.  Why,  man 
alive!  the  applications  now  amount  to  over  two 
hundred  thousand  dollars.  I  worked  until  twelve 
o'clock,  and  they  are  sleeping  on  the  door-steps  and 
all  over  the  pavement  by  hundreds,  waiting  to  get  at 
me  early  in  the  morning.  No;  I  can  go  no  farther 
in  the  matter.  It  has  ruined  my  profession  already. 
The  "business  men  are  fierce  against  me.  I  have  a 
wife  and  family  to  support.  I  must  take  care  of 
them." 

"How  much  do  you  earn  a  year?"  I  asked. 

"About  twelve  hundred  dollars,"  he  replied  blush 
ing,  for  I  think  he  exaggerated  somewhat. 

"Here,"  I  said,  "are  certificates  of  deposit  for  five 
thousand  dollars.  See,  I  indorse  them  to  your  order. 
I  employ  you  for  one  year.  If  that  is  not  enough, 
let  me  know." 

He  was  very  much  astonished,  but  took  the  cer 
tificates  of  deposit. 


58  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

"And  here,"  I  added,  "are  drafts  for  eight  thou 
sand  dollars  more.  Use  them  in  the  most  pressing 
cases,  and  I  will  send  you  from  New  York  all  the 
money  you  may  need.  My  first  remittance  will  be  for 
two  hundred  thousand  dollars  in  gold,  by  express, 
for  I  cannot  trust  these  bankers.  Do  not  fear;  my 
means  are  simply  unlimited.  I  do  not  propose  to 
be  stopped  in  my  efforts  to  relieve  the  unfortunate 
by  a  gang  of  usurers. " 

I  dressed  quietly.  We  slipped  downstairs  to 
gether  on  tip-toe.  I  bade  him  good-by,  and  by 
morning  I  was  on  the  cars  steaming  rapidly  to  New 
York. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

DOING   BUSINESS   ON   A   LARGE   SCALE. 

ON  the  cars,  as  I  proceeded  eastward,  I  bought  the 
daily  papers.  There  were  in  them  numerous  refer 
ences  to  myself.  I  remember  one  article  which  read 
something  like  this: 

EXTRAORDINARY   IF  TRUE. 

A  very  singular  circumstance  has  happened  at  the  town 
of  El  Dorado,  in  Butler  County,  Kansas  ;  we  have  already  had 
occasion  to  refer  to  it,  in  part,  in  our  dispatches.  A  hard 
working,  bankrupt  farmer  of  that  neighborhood,  and  his 
son,  appeared  at  Kansas  City  recently  and  sold  a  number  of 
bricks,  of  solid  gold,  to  jewellers  for  $55,000.  There  was 
no  question  about  the  reality  of  the  gold ;  it  was  of  excep 
tional  purity,  and  did  not  contain  nearly  as  much  alloy  as  the 
ordinary  gold  of  commerce  ;  but  the  wonder  was  where  the 
two  men  could  have  found  such  a  treasure.  At  first  it  was 
thought  they  had  stumbled  upon  some  prehistoric  city 
or  temple,  or  had  discovered  a  gold  mine ;  but  diligent 
examination  of  their  farm,  and,  in  fact,  of  the  whole  neigh 
borhood,  revealed  no  deposit  of  the  kind  ;  there  was,  indeed, 
nothing  to  be  found  upon  the  farm  but  the  ordinary  clay 
and  loam  of  a  Kansas  prairie,  and  a  few  shabby  buildings. 
Our  readers  will  remember  our  telegraphic  reports  of  the  ex 
citement,  in  the  little  town  of  El  Dorado,  when  the  denizens 
of  that  burg  received  the  Benezets — that  is  the  name  of  the 
farmer  and  his  son — with  open  arms  on  their  return  home ; 
and  the  dining  and  wining  and  speech- making,  in  true 

59 


60  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

Western  style,  which  followed.  It  does  not  take  much  to 
make  a  demigod  in  one  of  those  frontier  towns  in  the  wild 
and  woolly  West ;  if  a  commonplace  man  builds  a  street-car 
line,  with  borrowed  capital,  or  introduces  electric  lights, 
or  even  erects  a  block  of  buildings,  he  shares  with  Divinity 
the  adoration  and  homage  of  the  people ;  in  fact,  he  has 
rather  the  best  of  it,  for  the  populace  worship  God  only  on 
Sundays,  and  that  in  a  perfunctory  manner,  and  principally 
through  the  women ;  while  men  and  women  prostrate  them 
selves  before  the  real  or  alleged  capitalist  every  day  in  the 
week,  with  a  sincerity  which  cannot  be  questioned.  We 
are  glad  to  know  that  this  servile  adulation  of  mere  wealth 
does  not  prevail  in  this  region,  where  millionaires  are  as 
plentiful  as  blackberries. 

But  we  have  now  some  still  more  startling  news  by  tele 
graph  from  the  town  of  El  Dorado.  It  seems  that  the  real 
owner  of  the  gold  bricks,  and  consequently  of  the  secret  of 
their  discovery,  was  not  the  elder  Mr.  Benezet,  but  the 
younger  man,  his  son  Ephraim ;  and  he,  it  seems,  has  just 
played  a  caper  which  has  astonished  and  paralyzed  all  Kan 
sas.  He  has  actually  offered  to  loan  money  enough  to  pay 
off  all  the  farm -mortgages  in  Butler  county,  and  redeem  all 
the  foreclosed  homesteads  therein,  and  advance  money  to  the 
farmers  to  buy  back  all  the  farms  that  they  had  lost  by 
mortgage  sales,  and  wait  twenty  years  for  his  money  at  two 
per  cent  per  annum!  When  it  is  understood  that  the  or 
dinary  Kansas  money-lender  expects  to  make  from  twenty 
to  sixty  per  cent  per  annum  on  his  capital — according  to 
the  elasticity  of  his  conscience — the  extraordinary  nature  of 
this  proposition  can  be  imagined.  Strange  to  say,  Ephraim 
Benezet  disappeared  suddenly  from  the  town  of  El  Dorado 
last  night.  Where  he  went  no  one  knows.  He  did  not 
leave  by  rail,  for  the  bankers  were  waiting  to  arrest  him  as 
a  lunatic.  He  dropped  out  of  sight  as  utterly  as  if  the  earth 
had  swallowed  him.  But,  strangest  of  all,  before  he  left  he 
employed  a  well-known  lawyer  of  the  town,  for  the  large 
salary  of  five  thousand  dollars  per  year,  to  represent  him  in 
redeeming  land  sold  under  mortgage  foreclosures,  and  left 
eight  thousand  dollars  with  him  for  a  beginning.  Over  two 


DOING  BUSINESS   ON  A  LARGE   SCALE.  61 

hundred  thousand  dollars  of  loans  have  already  been  engaged 
at  two  per  cent  per  annum.  Great  excitement  prevails.  It 
is  evident  that  Ephraim  Benezet  did  not  derive  his  wealth 
from  any  deposit  on  his  father's  farm,  for  he  never  went  near 
it  after  his  return  to  El  Dorado  ;  and  how  this  poor  farmer's  boy 
could  suddenly  develop  into  the  possessor  of  a  large  fortune, 
and  pay  five  thousand  dollars  to  a  lawyer  to  make  contracts 
that  may  aggregate  a  million  dollars,  no  one  can  understand. 
The  natural  conclusion  would  be  that  the  man  was  insane ; 
but  the  gold  bricks,  and  the  five  thousand  dollars  to  the  law 
yer,  and  the  large  sum  of  fifty-five  thousand  dollars  deposited 
in  the  Kansas  City  bank,  are  not  to  be  explained  in  that 
way.  One  is  reminded  of  the  stories  of  the  Middle  Ages — 
of  the  philosopher's  stone,  which  turned  baser  metals  into 
gold.  The  public  will  watch  the  developments  of  this  busi 
ness  with  great  curiosity  and  interest.  But,  in  the  mean 
time,  what  has  become  of  the  mysterious  philanthropist, 
Ephraim  Benezet? 
The  whole  thing  reads  like  a  fairy-tale. 

I  perused  this  with  great  attention.  I  saw  that 
I  could  not  hereafter  avoid  publicity.  I  perceived 
also  that  the  Aztec  temple  and  the  gold  mine  would 
no  longer  serve  my  purpose.  I  should  have  to  boldly 
declare  that,  by  a  series  of  chemical  experiments,  I 
had  discovered  the  universal  solvent;  the  philoso 
pher's  stone;  the  power  of  making  gold.  And. with 
that  announcement  all  modesty  and  privacy  were  put 
of  the  question:  I  should  become  at  once  the  centre 
of  attraction  for  the  whole  world.  If  the  actual  truth 
was  known,  I  would  be  murdered  for  the  possession 
of  the  magic  bottle;  but  scientific  knowledge  was 
something  that  could  not  be  taken  from  the  dead 
man's  head  by  the  assassin.  To  do  the  good  I  con 
templated,  I  must  practise  certain  deceptions  on  the 


62  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

public;  I  must  perplex  them  with  a  chemical  labor 
atory,  and  all  sorts  of  acids  and  alkalies,  so  as  to 
uphold  the  delusion  that  I  had  indeed  discovered 
the  great  solvent — the  philosopher's  stone — claimed 
to  have  been  possessed  by  Paracelsus  and  Albertus 
Magnus. 

As  my  gold  bullion  had  to  be  turned  into  govern 
ment  coins  at  the  United  States  Mint,  I  came  to  the 
conclusion  that  I  had  better  establish  myself  in  Phil 
adelphia,  where  such  an  institution  existed,  so  as  to 
save,  as  far  as  possible,  the  anxieties  and  worries  of 
the  transportation  of  the  precious  metal. 

And  so,  after  stopping  a  day  or  two  to  view  the 
wonders  of  New  York,  which  I  saw  for  the  first  time, 
I  passed  on  to  the  Quaker  City.  A  few  days  found 
me  established  in  a  handsome  house  on  a  quiet  street, 
in  a  refined  neighborhood.  I  engaged  servants,  bought 
horses  and  carriages,  furniture,  books,  etc.  One  can 
live  in  the  city  of  Penn  with  as  much  quiet  com 
fort  as  he  can  anywhere  in  the  world;  the  people 
are  hospitable  and  cultured,  and  there  is  in  the  very 
atmosphere  a  gentle  dignity  and  refinement  which 
seems  to  be  a  survival  from  the  days  when  it  was  the 
nation's  capital,  and  stood  at  the  fore-front  of  the 
newly  liberated  colonies. 

There  was  what  they  call  a  basement  kitchen  to 
my  house,  one-half  of  which  was  above  the  level  of 
the  street.  I  fitted  this  up  as  my  laboratory.  I 
bought  a  number  of  mysterious  looking  retorts ;  I  had 
a  furnace  of  bricks  built  in  one  corner;  and  I  ar- 


DOING  BUSINESS   ON  A   LARGE  SCALE.  63 

ranged  around  the  room  boxes  of  various  chemicals, 
and  huge  glass  jars  full  of  ill-smelling  acids.  In  a 
junk-shop  I  found  some  antique  astrological  maps 
or  charts  covered  with  planets,  moons,  suns  and  comets, 
plentifully  interspersed  with  demigods  and  demons. 
I  also  secured  a  stuffed  alligator,  and  some  dried 
skins  of  huge  snakes  and  lizards.  Altogether  this 
half -subterranean  chamber  had  a  weird  and  ogreish 
look,  sufficient  to  make  the  blood  of  the  ordinary 
citizen,  of  an  inquiring  turn  of  mind,  run  cold  in  his 
veins.  In  addition  to  this,  I  purchased  a  large  zinc 
vat,  which  was  the  only  thing  in  the  room  meant  for 
use  and  not  for  show.  A  lot  of  galvanic  and  electric 
instruments,  with  wires  reaching  in  every  direction, 
completed  the  imposing  and  impressive  tout  ensemble. 

I  assumed  myself  a  grave  and  serious  demeanor, 
and  knitted  my  brows  as  if  my  brain  were  in  the 
throes  of  profound  thought;  the  processes  of  origin 
ality  being,  it  is  generally  supposed,  as  laborious  as  the 
gestation  of  an  elephant;  while  the  truth  is,  a  fertile 
mind  breeds  as  rapidly  and  as  easily  as  a  rabbit. 

I  then  hunted  up  a  worker  in  metals,  an  intelli 
gent  man,  and  had  him  manufacture  for  me  a  large 
number  of  bars  of  iron,  similar  in  size  and  shape  to 
the  bullion  bars  in  which  gold  is  shipped  from  Cali 
fornia.  I  piled  them  up  in  my  laboratory;  and  also 
laid  in  a  supply  of  stout  oaken  boxes,  with  strong 
rope  handles. 

I  was  now  ready  for  business. 

I  selected  bars  enough  to  make,  as  nearly  as  I  could 


64  THE   GOLDEN    BOTTLE. 

judge,  a  million  dollars'  worth  of  gold;  placed  them 
in  the  zinc  vat,  covered  them  with  a  bath  of  cold 
water;  made  sure  that  all  the  doors  and  windows  were 
carefully  closed,  and  then  drew  the  precious  flask  from 
my  pocket.  It  really  seemed  to  me  that  it  shone 
with  a  bright  light  of  its  own,  and  the  strange  hiero 
glyphics  which  covered  it,  unlike  any  earthly  alpha 
bet  I  had  ever  seen,  stood  out  with  marvellous  dis 
tinctness,  as  if  the  Golden  Bottle  rejoiced  in  the  good 
work  to  humanity  which  it  was  about  to  accomplish, 
in  turning  those  dead,  black  masses  of  iron  into  the 
means  of  liberating  thousands  of  worthy  people  from 
wretchedness. 

And  then  it  occurred  to  me  to  try  an  experiment. 

Were  the  wonderful  results  which  the  amber  fluid 
in  the  flask  accomplished  due  to  any  material  and 
natural  virtue,  or  were  they  simply  the  working  of 
an  extra-mundane,  spiritual  influence?  And  so  to 
test  the  question  I  dropped  but  a  single  drop  of  the 
liquid  into  the  tank,  and  instantly  the  water  boiled 
and  clouded,  and  the  transformation  took  place.  I 
then  perceived  that  the  Divine  Power  had  no  limita 
tions  as  to  quantity;  and  I  could  understand  how, 
out  of  the  coarse,  unbolted  oat-meal  upon  which  he 
lived,  the  brain  of  Eobert  Burns  could  distil  the 
sweetest  lyrics  in  human  speech,  full  of  the  divinest 
purity  and  most  exquisite  perfection.  And,  I  said 
to  myself,  a  few  drops  out  of  the  golden  flask  of 
creative  power,  dropped  into  a  human  intellect,  is 
sufficient  to  transform  the  thought,  the  literature,  and 


DOING   BUSINESS   ON  A  LARGE   SCALE.  65 

the  history  of  a  people.  I  could  have  gone  down  on 
my  knees  before  my  precious  treasure,  and  the  God 
who  stood  behind  it;  but  I  kissed  it  and  whispered 
to  it:  "You  and  I  together  shall  yet  redeem  man 
kind  from  its  bondage!" 

The  next  day  I  packed  my  bars  of  bullion  in  some 
of  the  oak  boxes  with  my  own  hands — still  hard  and 
strong  from  the  rough  work  on  that  wretched  Kansas 
farm,  where  I  had  toiled  so  long  and  so  unprofitably 
— and  an  expressman  carted  the  boxes  to  the  mint. 
5 


CHAPTER  X. 

A    MILLIONAIRE. 

AT  the  mint  there  was  considerable  hesitation  and 
excitement.  There  was  a  great  buzzing  and  putting 
together  of  heads,  and  applying  of  tests,  and  weighing 
and  running  to  and  fro,  and  summoning  of  experts, 
and  scanning  of  myself  with  sidelong  glances. 

At  length  an  elderly,  gray-haired  gentleman,  with 
gold-rimmed  spectacles  on  nose,  looking  like  a  com 
pound  of  professor  and  mechanic,  came  to  me,  observ 
ing  me  keenly  through  his  glasses  the  while,  and  said: 

"  May  I  ask  your  name,  sir?" 

"Ephraim  Benezet,"  I  replied. 

"Of  Kansas?" 

"Yes." 

"I  thought  as  much,"  he  replied. 

"You  find  the  gold  all  right?"  I  asked. 

"  Yes;  the  purest  and  finest  we  have  ever  received. 
Pardon  me  the  question,"  he  continued,  after  a  pause, 
"  but  the  bars  do  not  have  upon  them  any  of  the 
usual  Californian  or  Australian  or  Montanian  stamps 
and  markings.  May  I  ask  where  they  come  from?" 

"I  might  reply,"  I  said,  "that  that  was  my  secret; 
but  I  will  answer  you  frankly.  I  made  them." 

66 


A  MILLIONAIRE.  67 

"  You  made  them?"  he  exclaimed  in  great  astonish 
ment,  while  a  crowd  of  the  officers  and  employe's 
gathered  around  us. 

"Yes;  I  made  them,"  I  answered.  "I  have  dis 
covered  the  great  secret  which  the  alchemists  of  old 
sought  in  vain  for  a  thousand  years." 

"It  is  most  extraordinary,"  replied  the  old  gentle 
man,  thoughtfully.  "Yesterday  I  should  have  said 
such  a  statement  was  the  utterance  of  a  lunatic;  but 
there  unquestionably  is  the  gold,  differing  in  some 
respects  from  any  gold  we  have  ever  received,  and 
yet  gold  of  great  fineness  and  purity.  We  have  sub 
jected  it  to  all  the  tests  known  to  science,  and  it  has 
stood  them  all.  The  statutes  of  the  government  say 
that  we  must  mint  all  gold  bullion  brought  to  us; 
it  does  not  authorize  us  to  inquire  where  it  came 
from,  or  to  question  the  antecedents  of  those  who 
bring  it.  Our  simple  duty  is  to  weigh  the  metal, 
issue  our  receipt  therefore,  and  deliver  over  the  coin 
to  those  who  hold  the  receipt.  I  have  made  out  the 
certificate.  The  gold  you  have  brought  amounts  to 
$1,173,252.10.  Here  is  your  receipt.  I  congratulate 
you  on  your  discovery,  and  on  your  great  fortune 
realized  and  prospective;  but  I  cannot  but  think  that 
your  discovery  (and  I  have  no  reason  to  doubt  your 
statement)  is  about  to  revolutionize  the  financial 
world  from  centre  to  circumference.  When  gold  is 
as  abundant  as  iron  or  lead,  the  occupation  of  this 
institution  and  others  like  it,  all  over  the  world,  will 
be  gone.  With  silver  demonetized  and  gold  as  plen- 


68  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

tiful  as  brass,  upon  what  will  the  business  of  the 
world  rest?  Pardon  me,  my  dear  sir;  I  have  no 
right  to  intrude  my  reflections  upon  you,  but  I  am  an 
old  man;  I  have  spent  nearly  all  my  life  in  this 
building,  which  is  literally  a  temple  erected  to  the  wor 
ship  of  gold;  and  now  I  see  the  god  of  my  idolatry 
about  to  be  overthrown  forever.  I  feel  like  the  high- 
priest  of  one  of  the  ancient  temples  of  the  god  Pan, 
when  he  beheld  the  great  hall,  sacred  for  thousands  of 
years,  empty  and  deserted ;  the  worshippers  all  gone 
off  in  pursuit  of  the  strange  faith  of  the  barefooted 
Nazarene.  You  have  accomplished  that  which  is 
about  to  overturn  the  world;  we  may  still  cry  out 
'Great  is  Diana  of  theEphesians,'  but  the  sceptre  has 
departed  from  the  yellow  god  from  this  hour." 

The  old  gentleman's  eyes  grew  moist.  His  faith  in 
all  things  human  was  shaken,  and  he  turned  his  back 
and  walked  sadly  away.  The  other  officials  looked 
at  me  with  reverent  awe,  as  I  folded  up  the  precious 
slip  of  paper  and  quietly  took  my  departure. 

As  I  rode  up  Chestnut  Street  in  my  carriage,  a 
vast  sense  of  exultation  came  over  me.  I  owned  it 
all — houses,  equipages,  stores,  goods,  the  people!  The 
honor  of  man,  the  virtue  of  woman;  the  schools, 
colleges,  churches;  thoughts,  opinions,  beliefs;  glory, 
fame,  happiness,  joy,  suffering,  everything — that  little 
slip  of  paper  was  the  title-deed  of  it  all.  I  could 
buy  up  all  the  editors,  professors,  clergymen,  critics, 
authors.  In  three  months  I  could  indoctrinate  the 
world  with  the  most  pernicious  or  improbable  beliefs; 


A   MILLIONAIRE.  69 

I  could  have  them  taught  in  the  schools ;  I  could  so 
fill  the  minds  of  the  rising  generation  with  them  that 
mankind  could  not  rid  itself  of  them  for  a  score  of 
generations.  "Gold!  gold!"  1  cried;  and  then  I  re 
peated  to  myself  the  words  of  Timon: 

"  Thus  much  of  this  will  make  black,  white  ;  foul,  fair ; 
Wrong,  right ;  base,  noble ;  old,  young ;  coward,  valiant. 

Why  this 

Will  buy  your  priests  and  servants  from  your  sides ; 
Pluck  stout  men's  pillows  from  below  their  heads. 

This  yellow  slave 

Will  knit  and  break  religions  ;  bless  the  accursed  ; 
Make  the  hoar  leprosy  adored  ;  place  thieves 
And  give  them  title,  knee  and  approbation, 
With  senators  on  the  bench :  this  it  is 
Will  make  the  wappened  widow  wed  again; 
She  whom  the  spital  house  and  ulcerous  sores 
Would  cast  the  gorge  at. " 

I  felt  like  one  who  has  lighted  a  slow-match  con 
nected  with  a  vast  magazine  of  explosives,  and  draws 
back  a  space  to  witness  the  tremendous  catastrophe, 
while  the  unconscious  multitude  pursue  their  avoca 
tions  around  him  without  the  slightest  anticipation  of 
the  uproar  that  is  soon  to  shake  the  earth  and  fill 
the  skies.  I  remembered  that  singular  legend,  that 
at  the  time  of  the  birth  of  Christ,  a  mighty  voice, 
tremendous  and  far-resounding,  cried  out,  many  times, 
in  the  darkness  of  the  night,  from  the  shores  of  the 
Mediterranean:  "The  great  god,  Pan,  is  dead!  The 
great  god,  Pan,  is  dead!" 

New  things  were  coming  apace  upon  the  world.  Old 
things  must  pass  away.  The  "Golden  Bottle"  was  a 


70  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

tremendous  trust  placed  in  my  hands  for  the  good  of 
humanity. 

I  was  an  humble  instrument  in  the  hands  of  some 
incomprehensible,  spiritual  power,  with  benevolent 
purposes  for  the  creature,  man. 

I  need  not  describe  my  first  deposit  in  the  Commer 
cial  Bank — the  rush  of  clerks  and  officers  to  look  at 
me;  the  reverential  and  respectful  greetings;  the 
proffered  services  of  the  president ;  the  awesome  man 
ner  of  the  cashier;  the  inexpressible  sense  of  power 
which  came  upon  me  as  I  reentered  my  carriage. 

I  ordered  $200,000  in  cash  sent  at  once  to  Archi 
bald  M.  Hayes,  of  El  Dorado,  by  express. 

Twenty-five  reporters  called  upon  me  that  night. 
The  afternoon  papers  were  full  of  my  visit  to  the  mint. 
On  the  wings  of  the  lightning  the  astounding  intelli 
gence  spread  to  all  parts  of  the  civilized  world.  Scien 
tists  and  empirics  set  to  work  everywhere,  and  the 
next  few  months  men  were  driven  crazy  in  Berlin, 
London,  Paris,  St.  Petersburg,  in  vain  endeavors  to 
discover  the  same  secret  which  had  made  me  rich. 
The  leading  journals  of  the  world  were  full  of  dis 
cussions  of  the  probable  consequences  of  such  an  ex 
traordinary  revelation  upon  the  finances  of  the  world. 
Every  banker  on  the  globe  felt  uneasy. 

The  gentlemen  on  the  streets  almost  bowed  their 
heads  off;  the  women  smiled  so  broadly  that  I  could 
see  their  back  teeth.  People  who  would  not  have 
given  ten  cents  to  keep  a  blind  beggar  from  starving 
to  death,  would  have  poured  all  they  had  in  the  world 


A   MILLIONAIRE.  71 

into  my  lap,  simply  because  they  knew  I  did  not 
need  it!  Metaphorically  speaking,  the  whole  world 
was  crawling  in  the  mud  all  around  me. 

That  night  burglars,  employed  by  scientists,  broke 
into  my  laboratory  and  laboriously  carried  off  a  lot 
of  acid  worth  about  ten  cents  a  gallon.  They  thought 
they  had  "the  universal  solvent." 

The  next  day  the  papers  were  filled  with  nothing 
but — Ephraim  Benezet!  What  an  accomplished, 
learned,  gracious,  handsome  gentleman  I  was!  My 
very  pictures  were  sublimated,  until  I  looked  like  a 
cross  between  Jay  Gould  and  Jove.  Twenty  photog 
raphers  insisted  I  must  sit  to  them.  They  wanted 
me  in  all  sorts  of  poses  and  attitudes.  I  believe  they 
would  have  taken  me  standing  on  my  head,  if  I  had 
been  capable  of  assuming  that  position  with  any 
comfort  to  myself.  The  demand  for  my  pictures, 
they  assured  me,  was  inexhaustible — the  poorest  men 
were  the  most  eager  to  get  them.  They  worshipped 
me  in  their  dreams.  I  was  to  them  the  god  of  un 
limited  possibilities.  A  rain  of  invitations  to  din 
ners  and  suppers  and  clubs  and  entertainments  fell 
upon  me;  the  electric  bell  at  the  door  was  forever 
sounding  with  callers ;  the  street  swarmed  with  a  vast 
mass  of  people  who  stood  and  stared  and  stared,  as 
if  the  very  bricks  and  mortar  would  reveal  something 
of  my  marvellous  secret. 

I  fled  out  of  the  back  alley  and  rented  a  furnished 
house  a  mile  away,  under  the  name  of  John  Jones, 
where  1  could  enjoy  some  peace  and  quiet  and  escape 
from  my  greatness. 


CHAPTER  XI. 

SOPHIE. 

A  DAY  or  two  after  the  events  detailed  in  the  last 
chapter,  I  was  quietly  reading  the  morning  paper, 
when  I  came  across  the  following  news  item,  in  the 
telegraphic  column  from  Omaha: 

HORSEWHIPPED  BY  HIS  MISTRESS. 

Quite  a  scene  was  enacted  to-day  on  Douglass  Street. 
While  the  crowd  of  clerks  and  business  men  were  hurrying 
to  their  dinners,  about  twelve  o'clock,  a  tall,  spare  young 
woman  darted  out  from  a  doorway,  where  she  had  been 
apparently  waiting,  and  seized  upon  Mr.  Charles  Morrill, 
head  of  the  well-known  firm  of  Morrill,  Browning,  &  Co. , 
clothing  manufacturers  on  Farnam  Street,  and  horsewhipped 
him  with  a  heavy  whip  such  as  teamsters  use.  Mr.  Morrill 
struggled  to  release  himself,  but  the  girl's  grip  was  like 
iron,  and  she  applied  the  whip  most  energetically,  until  his 
face  ran  blood  from  the  force  of  the  blows.  She  was  at  last 
overpowered  by  two  policemen  and  her  victim  liberated. 
She  fought  the  officers  like  a  wild-cat,  but  was  eventually 
carried  off  to  jail.  Mr.  Morrill  was  taken  into  the  nearest 
drug  store  and  his  wounds  dressed.  He  was  interviewed  by 
several  newspaper  reporters,  but  was  very  reluctant  to  talk. 
From  a  few  words,  however,  which  he  dropped,  it  is  in 
ferred  that  he  had  held  improper  relations  with  the  young 
woman  for  some  time  past,  and  that  they  had  quarrelled  be 
cause  he  would  not  accede  to  her  extravagant  demands  for 

72 


SOPHIE.  73 

money.  Mr.  Morrill  is  a  bachelor,  and  employs  a  great 
many  women  in  his  establishment,  manufacturing  clothing, 
and  the  prisoner  was  one  of  these.  Her  name  is  Sophia 
Hetherington ;  she  came  here  a  year  or  two  ago  from  near 
El  Dorado,  Kansas,  and  has  boarded  for  some  time  past  at 
Mrs.  Jenkins',  No.  323  Summer  Street.  Mrs.  Jenkins,  when 
called  upon,  spoke  in  high  terms  of  the  girl,  but  of  course 
she  knew  nothing  of  the  improper  relations  between  her  and 
Mr.  Morrill.  Yesterday  afternoon  Sophia  was  brought  before 
the  Police  Court  and  held  for  trial.  Mr.  Morrill  appeared 
with  his  face  almost  covered  by  bandages,  and  testified  to 
the  assault,  and  the  prisoner  was  held  in  eight  hundred  dol 
lars  bail  to  answer.  Not  being  able  to  procure  bail  she  was 
remanded  to  jail. 

I  was  deeply  moved  as  I  read  this  telegram. 
"Poor  Sophie,"  I  said  to  myself,  "you  have  fallen 
low,  indeed!" 

My  heart  went  back  to  old  times.  I  remembered 
Sophie  when  she  was  the  brightest  and  handsomest 
girl  in  our  neighborhood;  the  head  of  the  spelling 
bees;  the  sweetest  singer  in  the  singing-school;  the 
most  graceful  and  daring  horsewoman  in  Butler 
County;  time  and  time  again  she  had  taken  the  prize 
at  county  fairs  for  horsemanship;  the  most  un 
tamed  stallion  became  gentle  as  a  lamb  under  her  con 
trol.  A  picture  of  the  fair  girl  rose  before  me — the 
tall,  light,  lissome  figure;  the  large  black  eyes;  the 
masses  of  dark  hair;  the  bright,  active,  quick,  ener 
getic  motions;  the  kindly  smile.  And  I  remembered 
certain  sudden,  unexpected  looks  which  she  had 
more  than  once  darted  at  me,  which  gave  me  reason 
to  believe  that  she  loved  me ;  and,  for  my  part,  my 
whole  heart  went  out  to  her. 


74  THE   GOLDEN    BOTTLE. 

0  poverty!    poverty!     Most    dreadful    and   cruel 
doom  and  demon  of  humanity !     You  crushed  out  an 
industrious  and  noble  family,  and  sent  this  poor  girl 
to  seek  her  fortune  in  the  great  city  and  find  only 
ruin.   Oh,  may  the  curse  of  God  fall  on  the  plunderers 
of  the    people,  who  thus  wreck  homes  and  mangle 
lives,  and  drive  angels  swarming  to  the  jaws  of  hell! 

1  loved  Sophie.     I  love  her  still.      She  shall  not 
remain  friendless  in  that    jail.      Fallen    though  she 
may  be,  I  will  lift  her  out  of  her  miseries,  and  give 
her  a  chance  to  earn  an  honest  living;  and  to  be  once 
more  all  that  she  was  before  she  wandered  into  the 
gates  of  that  devouring  metropolis.      And  who,  after 
all,  save  God,  shall  judge  the  poor  and  the  unfortu 
nate?    Who  can  measure,  save  their  Maker,  the  awful 
stress  of  temptation  put  upon  them  before  our  pitiful 
human    nature    broke   at   its  weakest    point?     God 
pity  the  women  who  fall !     Womankind  are  the  best 
and  noblest  of  our  race!     Society  and  misgovernment 
are  to  blame  for  every  woman  who  stumbles. 

As  soon  as  the  cars  would  bear  me  I  was  in  Omaha. 
My  first  step  was  to  employ  a  lawyer.  By  deposit 
ing  $800  as  security,  I  obtained  an  order  for  So 
phie's  release.  I  ordered  a  carriage  and  drove  to  the 
jail.  I  exhibited  the  discharge  and  requested  per 
mission  to  see  the  prisoner.  The  jailer  was  very  re 
spectful;  my  fine  clothes  and  the  carriage  insured 
that. 

"Unlock  the  door,"  I  said,  in  a  whisper. 

"Well,  mister,"  said  he  in  a  low  tone,  "I  wouldn't 


SOPHIE.  75 

advise  you  to  go  into  that  cell.  That  woman  is  a 
perfect  tigress." 

"Open  the  door,"  I  replied,  in  the  same  low 
tone. 

He  did  so.  I  looked  in.  A  tall,  spare  figure  was 
pacing  rapidly  up  and  down  the  narrow  apartment. 
It  wheeled  around  upon  me  and  glared  at  me  with 
great  black  eyes,  as  big  as  saucers;  the  countenance 
was  thin  and  haggard,  like  the  face  of  a  tempest- 
beaten  eagle.  Her  dress  was  plain  and  poor. 

"What  do  you  want?"  she  fiercely  demanded.  I 
saw  she  did  not  recognize  me.  Who  could  have 
recognized  the  farmer  boy  of  Kansas  in  this  stylishly- 
dressed  gentleman  ? 

"I  come  to  you  as  a  friend,"  I  said  quietly. 

"I  have  no  friends,"  she  replied  bitterly;  "the 
poor  are  always  friendless. 

"I  have  gone  upon  your  bail  bond.  The  jailer 
here  will  tell  you  that  you  are  free  to  leave  this  place 
at  once.  My  carriage  waits  for  you  at  the  door." 

"What  pay  do  you  expect  for  all  this?"  she  de 
manded  fiercely,  with  a  sneer  upon  her  lips. 

"Nothing;  but  that  you  will  answer  me  one  ques 
tion." 

"What  is  that?" 

"Are  you  guilty,  as  that  man  charges?" 

"Guilty!"  she  fairly  screamed,  leaping  from  the 
floor  in  her  rage,  her  energetic  arms  cleaving  the  air, 
"Guilty!  Oh,  the  miscreant!  the  scoundrel !  the  im 
pudent  villain!  I  will  kill  him!  I  will  kill  him! 


76  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

I  will  tear  him  to  pieces  with,  my  bare  hands  in  the 
open  court!" 

The  jailer  recoiled  from  the  doorway  in  terror  be 
fore  this  exhibition  of  tremendous  rage. 

"To  think,"  she  continued,  "that  a  free  American 
girl,  because  she  would  not  yield  to  that  wretch's 
lust,  must  be  denied  her  wages,  starved,  and  her  good 
name  taken  from  her,  to  force  her  into  degradation. 
Oh,  the  infamous  scoundrel !  I  should  not  have  horse 
whipped  him;  I  should  have  sharpened  a  table-knife 
and  driven  it  into  his  foul  heart.  To  say  I  was  his 
mistress,  and  demanded  money  from  him!  In  these 
rags!  Without  food  for  twenty-four  hours  when  I 
attacked  him!  Turned  out  of  my  boarding-house, 
because  he  held  back  the  miserable  pittance  which  I 
had  earned  by  hard  work,  all  to  force  me  to  his  wishes. 
Oh!  the  damnable  wretch!  But  he  shall  die,  and  I 
will  gladly  go  to  the  gallows!" 

I  sprang  forward  and  seized  the  energetic  figure  in 
my  arms.  She  struggled  and  pushed  me  back,  at 
arm's  length,  glaring  at  me  fiercely,  indignantly. 

"Sophie!"  I  cried,  "don't  you  know  me?" 

She  looked  at  me  intently. 

"My  God!"  she  cried,  "it  is  Ephe." 

The  transformation  that  came  over  her  was  won 
derful  ;  the  fire  left  her  eyes ;  the  drawn  mouth  soft 
ened;  the  very  voice  changed,  and  as  I  took  her  in 
my  arms  her  figure  relaxed,  and  she  sobbed  as  if  her 
heart  would  break;  her  whole  frame  shook  in  my 
embrace. 


SOPHIE.  77 

"Sophie,"  I  said  to  her  in  a  whisper,  "your  trou 
bles  are  over.  I  have  come  here  to  marry  you.  All 
I  wanted  was  to  hear  from  your  own  lips  that  you 
were  as  pure  as  you  were  when  we  played  together  in 
dear  old  Kansas.  We  will  never  part  again." 

She  held  me  at  arm's  length,  gazing  at  me  intently 
through  her  tears. 

"But,  Ephe,"  she  said,  "what  does  it  all  mean? 
You  parted  from  me  a  poor  farmer  boy;  you  come 
here  arrayed  like  a  gentleman.  I  cannot  understand 
it.  Have  my  troubles  turned  my  brain?  Am  I 
dreaming?" 

"No,  Sophie,"  I  replied,  "it  is  all  real.  I  am 
indeed  with  you,  and  I  am  rich — rich  beyond  the 
wildest  dream  of  the  imagination — rich  enough  to  buy 
up  all  Omaha,  and  all  Nebraska.  But  come.  Let 
us  leave  this  dismal  and  wretched  place." 

She  had  no  effects — nothing  but  the  clothes  she 
wore — everything  else  had  been  sold  or  pawned  to 
buy  food.  But,  penniless  as  she  was,  she  was  to  me 
the  richest  possession  in  all  the  world — a  true  and 
noble  woman,  who  loved  me!  I  wouldn't  have 
parted  with  her  for  Golconda.  My  treasure  was  re 
stored  to  me  pure  and  flawless.  I  was  the  happiest 
man  in  the  world. 


CHAPTER  XII. 

REVENGE. 

IN  a  little  time  we  were  married. 

Sophie  insisted  on  being  properly  apparelled,  and  a 
couple  of  days  were  consumed  in  purchases  and  dress 
making.  The  old,  hard  brand  of  poverty  had  been 
so  burned  into  Sophie's  soul,  that  I  had  to  force  her 
to  buy  articles  befitting  her  new  station  in  life;  she 
was  disposed  to  pinch  and  economize  in  most  nig 
gardly  fashion.  But  I-^-I  was  proud  of  my  bride,  and 
the  most  costly  jewels  in  the  city,  the  most  precious 
gifts,  were  not  too  good  for  her.  I  covered  her  with 
splendor,  and  when  she  stood  up  with  me  at  the  altar, 
the  olive  cheeks  had  begun  to  resume  the  softness  of 
youth,  the  great  eyes  were  tender  with  emotion,  and 
no  one  could  have  recognized  in  the  lithe  and  grace 
ful  and  happy  figure  the  woman  who,  but  a  little 
while  before,  had  stormed  and  raved,  in  the  stone  cell 
of  the  county  jail,  like  an  enraged  lioness.  The 
whole  town  seemed  to  have  turned  out  to  witness  the 
wedding,  for  the  newspapers,  as  usual,  had  told  every 
thing;  and  it  was  known  that  "the  gold-maker,"  the 
millionaire,  the  richest  man  in  the  world,  had  come 
from  Philadelphia  to  Omaha  to  find  a  wife  in  the 

78 


REVENGE.  79 

county  prison.  The  glamour  of  my  wealth  at  once 
spread  over  Sophie;  the  newspapers  united  in  declar 
ing  that  she  was  the  most  beautiful  and  spirited  bride 
ever  seen  in  Omaha ;  she,  who  had  walked  their  streets 
for  years  in  rags,  unnoticed,  with  the  pangs  of  hun 
ger  too  often  gnawing  at  her  heart-strings.  And  every 
journalist  in  Omaha  at  once  declared  her  innocent  of  all 
wrong-doing,  and  praised  her  for  punishing  with  her 
own  hand  the  slanderer  of  her  honor. 

But  all  this  did  not  satisfy  Sophie.  She  demanded 
justice  upon  Morrill;  "Vengeance  upon  the  wicked," 
she  declared,  "was  the  justice  of  God."  My  own 
disposition,  I  must  own,  is  rather  "easy-going."  I 
argued  with  her  that  she  had  already  sufficiently 
punished  him.  But  no;  the  fiery  advocate  of  right 
demanded  that  he  be  exposed  and  rendered  harmless 
for  the  future. 

What  was  I  to  do?  What  could  I  do  as  a  good 
husband,  but  obey? 

There  was  a  detective  agency  in  the  city.  Thither 
I  wended  my  way,  and  employed  a  shrewd,  taciturn 
fellow,  named  Brooks,  to  make  some  inquiries  for 
me.  He  reported  to  me  in  a  day  or  two  that,  while 
Morrill  had  the  reputation  of  being  wealthy,  in  his 
judgment  he  really  was  not;  he  had  squandered  his 
substance  in  profligacy;  still  his  credit  was  good  at 
the  banks,  and  he  and  his  firm  owed  a  great  deal  of 
money.  I  gave  him  a  lot  of  drafts,  and  told  him  to 
go  ahead  and  buy  up  all  the  notes  owed  by  Morrill 
and  his  firm  that  he  could  lay  his  hands  on. 


80  THE    GOLDEN    BOTTLE. 

He  called  the  next  night  and  told  me  that  he  had 
made  a  startling  discovery.  In  buying  the  notes  held 
by  one  of  the  banks,  he  observed  that  the  cashier  was 
very  particular  to  indorse  them  "  without  recourse  " 
to  the  bank.  This  satisfied  him  that  the  bank  had 
suspicions  of  some  kind  about  the  value  of  the  paper, 
and  did  not  desire  to  become  responsible  for  it.  The 
paper  was  indorsed  by  different  prominent  merchants 
of  the  city.  Moved  by  curiosity,  as  much  as  any 
thing  else,  Brooks  selected  a  note  for  $10,000,  with 
the  name  of  the  hardware  firm  of  Snider  &  Co.  on  its 
back,  and  dropping  into  their  office  he  casually  in 
quired  whether  they  were  indorsers  on  any  paper  of 
Morrill,  Browning  &  Co.  Mr.  Snider  said  yes,  and, 
referring  to  a  note-book,  he  said  they  had  indorsed 
two  notes  for  that  firm,  one  of  $3,000  and  the  other 
for  $2, 500. 

"I  have  here  a  note  for  $10,000,  indorsed  by 
you,"  said  Brooks. 

"Let  me  look  at  it,"  said  Mr.  Snider.  He  exam 
ined  it,  and  then  held  a  whispered  conversation  with 
his  chief  clerk. 

"We  never  indorsed  that  note,"  he  said  quietly. 

"You  mean  to  say  that  it  is  a  forgery?" 

"I  mean  to  say  that  it  was  never  indorsed  by  our 
firm." 

"Whew!"  said  Brooks,  and  took  his  departure. 

He  went  straight  to  police  headquarters  and  had 
an  officer  appointed  to  "  shadow  "  Morrill,  and  to  ar 
rest  him  if  he  tried  to  leave  town.  He  then  pursued 


REVENGE  81 

'nis  inquiries,  ana  iound  two  otner  notes  that  were 
forgeries.  How  much  more  forged  paper  Morrill  & 
Co.  still  owed  the  banks  he  could  not  tell,  but  he 
thought  it  better  to  stop  purchasing  any  more  until 
he  should  receive  further  instructions  from  me.  I 
thanked  him  for  his  energy  and  discretion. 

While  we  were  still  speaking,  another  policeman 
called  to  see  Brooks,  and  informed  him  that  Morrill 
had  been  arrested  at  the  depot,  just  as  he  was  about 
to  take  the  east-bound  10:20  night  train,  and  was 
now  at  the  police  office. 

I  at  once  accompanied  the  officers  thither.  There 
I  found  Morrill,  a  chalky-faced,  spongy-looking, 
youngish  man,  with  a  bald  head,  and  no  expression 
in  his  face  but  sensuality  and  low  cunning.  He  was 
dressed  in  the  height  of  the  fashion;  but  I  was 
pleased  to  notice  certain  livid  markings  on  his  face 
and  neck,  reminiscences  of  Sophie's  whip.  He  was 
evidently  a  good  deal  disturbed,  but  was  trying  to 
bluster  it  out.  A  boon  companion  of  his,  a  clerk  in 
the  establishment  of  Snider  &  Co. ,  had  given  him,  as 
we  learned  afterward,  "a  tip,"  and  we  had  caught 
him  just  in  time. 

He  was  hectoring  the  lieutenant  of  police  when  we 
entered. 

"What  right  have  you,"  he  said,  "  to  arrest  a  prom 
inent  business  man  of  Omaha,  without  a  warrant, 
when  he  is  attending  to  his  own  affairs.  I  will  make 
every  man  pay  who  is  at  all  concerned  in  this  out 
rage." 


82  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

Here  lie  turned  to  Brooks  and  myself.  The  de 
tective  quietly  took  from  his  pocket  three  promissory 
notes,  fastened  together  with  a  pin.  A  great  change 
came  over  Morrill — he  became  very  white  and  seemed 
to  collapse;  he  recognized  the  notes. 

There  was  a  dead  silence  for  a  few  minutes,  then 
Brooks  spoke: 

"These  signatures  are  forged.  You  know  the 
penalty." 

Morrill 's  features  moved  convulsively.  Then  he 
spoke  as  if  his  mouth  was  full  of  dust  and  the  words 
would  scarcely  come: 

"What  do  you  want?" 

"We  want,"  said  I,  "to  see  you  in  the  peniten 
tiary,  where  you  should  have  been  long  ago.  A  poor 
girl  who  had  never  committed  a  wrong  in  the  world 
obtained  work  in  your  shop;  you  saw  that  she  was 
innocent  and  beautiful ;  you  laid  siege  to  her  virtue, 
and  when  she  would  not  yield,  you  kept  back,  under 
lying  pretences,  the  poor  pittance  of  wages  you  owed 
her,  to  starve  her  into  submission;  and  this  was  an 
American  girl,  with  better  blood  in  her  veins  than 
you  possess,  for  her  ancestors  had  fought  in  every 
great  battle  for  liberty  ever  waged  on  this  continent; 
and  not  content  with  all  this,  you  were  unutterably 
base  enough  to  tell  the  world  that  this  pure  and  in 
nocent  girl  had  been  your  mistress,  and  by  thus 
branding  her,  you  sought  to  force  her  down  the  steps 
of  sin  into  death  and  hell.  You  are  an  unspeakable 
villain.  But  we  have  the  proofs  of  your  guilt  here,  and 


REVENGE.  83 

I  am  that  young  lady's  husband,  and  it  is  my  mission 
to  see  that  you  receive  your  just  deserts." 

The  craven  wretch  fell  on  his  knees  and  prayed  for 
mercy.  He  had,  he  said,  money  enough  with  him 
to  pay  those  three  notes,  about  $27,000.  He  would 
give  it  to  me  if  I  would  allow  him  to  take  the  mid 
night  train. 

His  tears  moved  my  pity.  He  saw  it  and  pleaded 
with  increased  fervor. 

He  would,  he  said,  sign  a  statement  completely 
admitting  that  his  charges  against  my  wife  were  ab 
solute  lies.  Call  in  a  magistrate.  He  would  swear 
to  it.  He  would  do  anything — only  let  him  escape. 

I  wrote  a  letter  to  Sophie,  telling  her  everything, 
and  sent  it  by  a  messenger.  He  returned  in  a  little 
while,  with  her  answer,  written  in  her  large,  bold 
hand,  at  the  end  of  my  communication: 

"I  want  neither  his  money  nor  his  exculpation. 
Let  justice  take  its  course." 

The  miserable  wretch  fairly  shrieked  as  I  read  this 
reply  to  him. 

I  signed  the  necessary  complaint  and  withdrew. 

The  next  day  it  was  known  that  the  great  house  of 
Morrill,  Browning  &  Co.  had  failed,  and  that  the 
head  of  the  firm  was  in  prison,  held  under  a  dozen 
different  charges  of  forgery. 

When  the  sewing-girls  heard  of  the  failure  of  the 
firm,  and  came  hurrying  for  the  little  sums  due  them, 
and  which  yet,  little  as  they  were,  represented  bread, 
shelter,  and  life,  Brooks,  the  detective,  met  them  on 


84  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

the  front  steps  of  the  closed  establishment,  and  sent 
them  for  their  pay  to  a  certain  room  of  our  hotel. 
There  they  found  their  old  companion,  Sophie,  who 
welcomed  them  with  kind  and  encouraging  words,  and 
seated  them  at  a  banquet,  such  as  they  might  have 
dreamed  of  in  their  dreams,  but  never  had  enjoyed 
in  fact;  and  Sophie,  at  the  head  of  the  table,  after 
giving  to  each  one  a  liberal  sum  of  money,  amply 
sufficient  for  present  needs,  got  up  and  made  them  a 
speech.  Brooks  and  I  hid  behind  the  half-opened 
folding  doors,  and  heard  every  word  of  it.  She  said: 

"Girls,  you  have  all  heard  of  my  good  fortune. 
A  little  while  ago,  and  I  was  as  poor  as  the  poorest 
of  you — poorer,  for  I  was  in  prison,  and  I  did  not 
think  I  had  a  friend  in  the  world,  and  I  had  not  a 
hope  in  all  the  world  except  that  I  might  kill  that 
villain  Morrill  and  be  hung  for  it.  "Well,  girls,  I  am 
now  the  wife  of  the  richest  man  in  the  world,  and 
what  is  more,  the  best  and  kindest-hearted  man  on  the 
globe;  for  he  came  all  the  way  from  Philadelphia  to 
Omaha  to  take  me  out  of  a  prison  and  cover  me  with 
diamonds  and  marry  me;  yes,  when  every  newspaper 
in  Omaha  said  I  was  a  prostitute!  And  I  tell  you, 
girls,  I  would  die  for  that  man,  and  so  would  every 
one  of  you,  if  she  had  a  such  husband.  [Here  some 
of  the  girls  applauded,  but  more  of  them  wept; 
Brooks  and  I  could  hear  their  sobs.] 

"But  I  want  you  to  understand,"  Sophie  contin 
ued,  "that  if  luck  has  lifted  me  up  I  don't  intend  to 
forget  those  that  are  down.  [Cheers.]  I  am  just  as 


REVENGE.  85 

much  your  sister  now  as  I  was  when  I  skimped  and 
pinched  and  toiled,  morning,  noon  and  night,  to  con 
tinue  an  honest  girl,  and  not  be  forced  out  under  the 
gas-lamps  on  the  street,  hunting  for  reprobates. 
[Great clapping  of  hands.]  lam  going  to  talk  it  over 
with  Ephe — I  mean  Mr.  Benezet — and  get  him  to 
advise  me  what  is  the  best  way  to  help  you,  for  I 
know  you  don't  want  to  be  beggars,  living  on  the 
bounty  of  even  an  old  friend;  you  want  a  chance  to 
earn  an  honest  living,  and  get  a  fair  day's  wage  for  a 
fair  day's  work.  [Cheers  and  cries  of  "That's  so."] 
And  I  don't  mean  to  help  only  you  girls  that  used  to 
work  with  me  for  Merrill,  Browning  &  Co.,  and  be 
jewed  down  by  old  Browning,  and  winked  at  by 
Merrill,  and  cheated  in  all  kinds  of  ways  until  our 
hearts  were  as  bitter  as  death ;  no,  I  am  going  to  help 
every  poor,  struggling  girl  in  Omaha,  and  if  Ephe — 
I  mean  Mr.  Benezet — stands  by  me,  every  girl  in  all 
the  world,  and  if  he  don't  stand  by  me,  much  as  I 
love  him,  I  won't  live  with  him.  There!" 

I  lifted  my  hand  to  wipe  away  some  curious  liquid 
things  that  came  out  of  my  eyes  on  my  cheeks,  and 
stood  still  there ;  and  as  I  did  so  I  heard  Brooks  sniffle, 
and,  when  I  turned  to  look  at  him,  I'll  be  hanged  if 
that  detective  wasn't  crying.  My  heart  warmed  to 
him  that  minute,  and  I  engaged  him  on  the  spot  to 
give  up  his  place  and  work  for  me  for  five  years,  at  a 
royal  salary. 

But  Sophie  was  still  speechifying. 

"I  tell  you  girls,"  she  said,  "we  will  begin  right 


86  THE    GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

now.  We  will  organize  ourselves  into  a  committee. 
I  am  chairwoman.  I  appoint  Mary  McLeod  treasurer, 
and  Susan  Dunning  secretary;  and  each  of  you  is  a 
committee  of  one  to  hunt  up  the  wretched  and  bring 
them  to  those  two  girls,  our  officers;  and  I  will  fur 
nish  them  the  money  to  relieve  their  pressing  neces 
sities,  until  we  get  our  grand  reformation  started. 
And,  girls,  don't  go  inquiring  too  closely  into  any 
woman's  past  history,  provided  she  wants  to  do  right. 
Why,  girls,  it  is  the  most  pitiful  thing  in  the  world  to 
think  that  those  whom  Nature  has  made  weakest, 
most  dependent,  most  defenceless,  should  have  the 
whole  weight  of  a  universe  of  temptations  and  neces 
sities  piled  on  them  to  crush  them;  and  it  is  the  most 
shameful  thing  in  all  the  world  that  when  they  fall 
under  their  burden,  not  only  vicious  men  but  vir 
tuous  women  unite  to  keep  them  from  ever  rising 
again.  Why,  girls^the  strong,  warm  instinct  of  love, 
without  which  a  woman  is  not  a  woman,  becomes  the 
very  engine  of  destruction  to  her  who  has  most  of  itj 
Of  course,  if  a  girl  is  bad  by  choice,  you  want  noth 
ing  to  do  with  her;  for  it  is  God's  rule  that  the  race 
should  be  preserved  at  its  best ;  but  open  all  the  doors, 
set  back  the  lintels,  tear  down  the  whole  front  of  the 
house,  for  those  who  want  to  come  back  to  goodness; 
pass  a  sponge  over  their  weak  past  and  point  them 
forward  to  a  strong  future." 

A  happier  set  of  poorly-clad,  chattering  girls  never 
streamed  down  a  hotel's  stairs  than  that  crowd,  when 
Sophie  dismissed  them.  Ah !  those  were  busy  days. 


REVENGE.  87 

My  wife  sat  in  perpetual  session,  with  an  unending 
string  of  callers,  and  my  money  flowed  out  like 
water.  But  what  did  I  care?  I  would  have  fed  the 
whole  world  to  please  Sophie,  and  Sophie  was  as 
happy  as  the  day  was  long. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 
SOPHIE'S  PLAN. 

WE  were  at  breakfast  in  our  own  room. 

"Ephe,"  said  Sophie,  "I  have  been  thinking  a 
great  deal  lately  as  to  how  I  can  help  the  laboring 
classes,  especially  the  women." 

"Yes,  my  dear,"  I  said,  "and  what  conclusions 
have  you  reached?" 

"I  have  been  thinking,"  she  said,  "that  mankind 
is  not  naturally  bad.  In  fact,  they  have  a  real  sym 
pathy  with  goodness  and  truth.  Men  do  wrong 
through  the  pressure  of  society,  in  the  struggle  to 
live.  I  remember  reading  a  French  story  of  a  lot  of 
galley-slaves,  who  had  conspired  to  murder  one  of 
their  number,  and  while  waiting  for  an  opportunity 
to  strike  the  deadly  blow,  one  of  them  commenced  to 
tell  a  pitiful  story  he  had  heard,  of  cruelty  and  in 
justice  done  to  a  boy,  and  the  very  assassins  wept 
over  the  romance;  they  would  have  risked  their  lives 
to  defend  that  poor,  persecuted  boy,  and  yet  they 
were  the  basest  of  mankind,  and  at  that  very  time 
contriving  to  do  a  murder." 

"Well,"  I  asked,  "how  do  you  apply  that  general 
conclusion?" 

88 


SOPHIE'S  PLAN.  89 

"In  this  way: — Morrill,  Browning  &  Co,  did  not 
give  us  better  wages  because  if  they  had  other  firms 
would  have  undersold  them,  and  they  would  have 
been  driven  out  of  business.  And  if  all  the  Omaha 
manufacturers  of  clothing  had  met  together  and  agreed 
to  raise  prices  for  work,  then  New  York  and  Chicago 
and  Philadelphia  would  have  rushed  their  goods  in 
at  lower  prices  and  closed  them  out.  And  if  they 
got  all  the  American  cities  to  put  up  wages,  still 
Europe  would  put  them  down.  And  if  all  the  man 
ufacturers  in  the  world  united  to  pay  their  employe's 
better  compensation,  the  workmen  would  still  hold 
their  advantages  at  the  mercy  of  any  man  more  cruel 
or  greedy  than  the  rest  who  would  reduce  prices, 
and  then  all  the  rest  would  have  to  tumble  to  the 
same  level." 

"Well, "I  said,  "that  is  plain  enough;  but  what 
remedy  have  you  devised?" 

"It  seems  to  me  evident,  therefore,"  continued 
Sophie,  "that  the  remedy  cannot  come  from  the  em 
ployers  of  labor.  No  matter  how  just  or  kindly  they 
may  be,  individually,  they  are  in  the  grasp  of  a  re 
lentless  necessity;  they  must  crowd  wages  down  to 
the  lowest  level  at  which  the  laborers  can  live.  The 
remedy  must  come,  therefore,  from  the  laborers,  by 
thorough  organization  for  self-defence,  and  by  assert 
ing  the  dignity  of  their  calling  at  the  ballot-box;  by 
insisting  upon  a  share  in  the  government,  and  turn 
ing  its  forces  to  lift  up  and  defend  their  class.  But 
the  sewing-women  are  so  weak,  so  helpless,  so  poor, 


90  .THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

and  sin  opens  so  many  gilded  doors  of  temptation  all 
around  them;  and  it  is  so  easy  to  slip  into  wickedness, 
that  it  seems  to  me  relief  must  come  outside  of  the 
ranks  of  their  employers  or  themselves." 

"Admirably  reasoned,"  I  said,  very  proud  of  my 
able  wife,  "but  your  argument  leads  you  right  up 
against  a  stone  wall  of  helplessness." 

"No,"  she  replied,  "you  forget  my  first  propo 
sition,  that  mankind  is  naturally  good  and  generous 
and  sympathetic.  If  it  were  not  for  that  this  would 
be  indeed  a  beast  world,  as  hopeless  and  wicked  as 
Dante's  Inferno.  In  that  God-implanted  instinct  of 
goodness  lies  the  hope  of  mankind.  Now  suppose  we 
organize  a  society  of  women  —  women  of  wealth, 
women  of  the  middle  classes,  to  rescue  and  save  and 
lift  up  their  unfortunate  sisters,  the  honest  toilers,  by 
agreeing  to  purchase  only  those  goods  that  were 
made  by  the  women  themselves,  without  the  in 
tervention  of  middlemen.  If  the  women  were  roused 
to  action  they  would  very  soon  convert  their  hus 
bands — you  know  how  it  is  in  this  family,"  she 
added,  laughing;  and  I  subscribed  to  my  subjugation 
by  getting  right  up  and  kissing  her;  without  the 
slightest  impulse,  on  my  part,  to  resist  the  outrageous 
domination  of  which  I  was  the  victim. 

"Well, "she  continued,  "as  soon  as  we  got  the 
women  ready  to  stand  by  us,  we  would  open  stores 
or  repositories  where  the  goods  made  by  the  women 
would  be  sold  directly  to  the  consumers,  and  the 
money  which  now  goes  to  make  a  few  families  of 


SOPHIE'S  PLAN.  91 

middlemen  very  rich,  would  go  to  make  thousands 
of  poor  families  happy." 

"I  like  that  idea,"  I  said,  "it  seems  practicable. 
How  had  we  better  begin?" 

"I  think,"  she  answered,  "I  will  get  you  to  give 
a  banquet  to  all  the  editorial  fraternity  of  Omaha,  and 
explain  our  ideas  and  ask  them  to  help  us." 

"Oh  no!"  I  replied,  "that  wouldn't  do.  The 
American  newspapers  have  no  sympathy  with  the 
people,  and  will  do  nothing  to  help  them." 

"I  think  you  are  wrong  there,"  she  replied; 
"where  certain  interests  own  the  stock  of  a  great 
journal  of  course  the  editors,  like  lawyers,  have  to 
defend  the  side  they  depend  on  for  their  bread  and 
butter.  But  the  editors  are  men  like  yourself; 
and  many  of  them  are  very  good  men;  and,  as  I 
told  you,  goodness  is  natural  to  all  men,  and  evil 
is  artificial  and  represents  simply  the  pressure  of 
necessity.  The  average  editor  wants  to  be  as  near 
right  as  the  circumstances  of  his  position  will  permit; 
and  he  represents  a  tremendous  power  for  good  or  evil ; 
and  if  he  don't  work  for  truth  he  will  work  for  error." 

"Well,  my  dear,"  I  said,  "I  will  follow  your  ad 
vice;  I  will  give  the  editors  a  banquet." 

And  a  grand  banquet  it  was — no  expense  was 
spared ;  every  one  came  that  was  invited ;  for  all  were 
curious  to  see  more  of  the  man  and  his  wife  whom  all 
the  newspapers,  and  all  the  people,  were  talking 
about;  the  new  Count  of  Monte  Cristo,  the  modern 
Croesus,  the  Paracelsus,  the  "gold-maker." 


92.  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

After  the  viands  were  cleared  away,  I  made  them 
a  speech  and  explained  our  purposes.  As  soon  as 
they  learned  that  what  I  proposed  had  nothing  to  do 
with  free  silver,  or  national  banks,  or  tariff,  or  watered 
stock  of  railroads,  or  anything  else  concerning 
which  they  were  tied  up  neck-and-heels  by  their 
stockholders;  that,  in  short,  it  was  a  mere  work  of 
humanity,  for  the  benefit  of  women,  they  entered 
heartily  into  the  scheme,  and  promised  the  full  in 
fluence  of  their  several  journals  in  its  favor.  In  fact 
a  pleasanter  or  kindlier  set  of  gentlemen  I  had  not 
met  with  for  a  long  time,  and  we  parted  with  expres 
sions  of  mutual  good  will  and  esteem. 


CHAPTEE  XIV. 

THE    MEETING. 

THE  newspapers  had  performed  their  part  nobly. 
The  house  was  packed  from  pit  to  dome.  Three- 
fourths  of  the  audience  were  ladies.  The  first  fam 
ilies  were  all  present.  That  was  a  hopeful  sign ;  for 
society,  unlike  religion,  moves  from  the  top  down 
wards.  Every  working-woman  was  also  present,  ar 
rayed  in  her  poor  best. 

First  there  was  some  grand  music. 

Then  the  mayor  of  the  city  introduced  me.  I  had 
a  rapturous  reception ;  rny  popularity,  I  think,  prin 
cipally  depended  on  the  fact  that  I  had  married 
Sophie.  But  every  opera-glass  was  levelled  to  in 
spect  the  man  who  had  made  the  most  wonderful 
discovery  of  the  age.  There  was  profound  silence  as 
I  began. 

"Ladies  and  gentlemen,"  I  said,  "we  are  hereto 
inaugurate  to-night,  with  your  help,  a  great  work  of 
philanthropy.  We  are  here  to  take  steps  to  secure 
better  wages  to  the  working-women  of  Omaha,  the 
women  who  work  in  shops  and  factories.  I  know 
that  in  such  a  work  we  will  have  your  sympathy  and 
support.  [Cheers.]  We  propose  to  organize  a  society 

93 


94  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

every  member  of  which  will  pledge  herself  or  himself 
to  buy  only  the  articles  manufactured  by  women,  di 
rectly  of  the  women  themselves,  in  stores  which  I 
shall  establish,  so  that  whatever  value  their  labor 
has  added  to  the  articles  in  question  will  go  directly 
to  themselves,  -the  women.  In  this  way  their 
wages  will  be  largely  increased,  and  they  will  live 
better  and  be  happier.  You  will  get  the  goods 
you  purchase  at  the  same  price  you  pay  now;  the 
only  difference  will  be  that  all  the  profits  of  the 
labor  of  thousands  of  workers  will  not  be  absorbed, 
as  it  is  now,  by  a  score  or  so  of  middlemen.  The 
working- women  having  better  wages  will  be  able  to 
buy  more  of  the  merchants,  more  clothes,  more  food, 
etc. ;  they  will  be  able  to  pay  better  rent  for  better 
homes.  Every  one  in  Omaha  will  have  a  resulting 
share  in  their  prosperity,  and  you  will  do  a  great  and 
good  work,  and  help  your  city  without  it  costing  you 
a  single  dollar  which  you  would  not  spend  under  ex 
isting  conditions. 

"But,  ladies  and  gentlemen,  you  will  perceive  that 
I  am  no  orator ;  I  shall  therefore  introduce  to  you  my 
wife,  who  has  conceived  this  work  of  charity,  and  who 
can  best  explain  it  to  you." 

And  with  this  demure  and  practical  statement  of 
the  objects  of  the  meeting,  I  stepped  to  the  wings, 
and  led  Sophie  forward. 

Lord!  I  thought  they  would  take  the  roof  off  the 
house!  The  whole  audience  was  white  with  waving 
handkerchiefs;  the  men  flung  a  shower  of  hats  and 


THE   MEETING.  95 

caps  into  the  air,  and  such  a  roar  went  up  as  if  Niag 
ara  had  just  broken  in  at  the  front  door.  The  sewing- 
girls  stood  up  on  the  benches  and  screamed  them 
selves  hoarse,  and  it  was  a  good  five  minutes  before 
quiet  was  restored. 

And  a  very  pretty  picture  Sophie  made,  standing 
there  all  in  black,  without  an  ornament  save  a  single 
rose  in  her  hair,  her  face  smiling  and  her  eyes  danc 
ing.  Ah!  I  had  married  a  wonderful  woman  with 
out  knowing  it.  She  was  a  marvellous  orator. 
There  was  an  electric  instantaneousness  about  her 
movements  I  never  saw  in  any  other  speaker.  With 
the  ordinary  person  it  takes  some  time  to  convey  the 
emotions  from  the  brain  to  the  arms;  and  hence  the 
action  lags  away  behind  the  thought,  like  a  caboose 
at  the  end  of  a  lengthy  freight  train.  But  with 
Sophie  the  moment  the  thought  struck  your  intelli 
gence  the  hand  went  out  and  typified  it.  And  when 
she  was  excited  she  thought  in  metaphors,  tropes, 
parables,  and  figures.  But  behind  the  mind  was  a 
glorious  character,  and  behind  both  a  transcendent 
purpose.  Oh,  it  was  a  glory  to  listen  to  her — nay,  you 
did  not  listen,  you  instantaneously  understood;  your 
mind  moved  with  hers,  as  if  the  ordinary  channels  of 
hearing  were  suspended,  and  a  divine  telepathy  welded 
the  audience  to  the  speaker. 

"Sisters,"  she  began,  ignoring  the  men  as  not 
worthy  of  her  attention;  "Sisters,  I -want  to  talk 
straight  at  your  hearts,  right  into  your  souls. 

"Part  of  you  are   mothers.     You  have  fair  and 


96  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

lovely  sons.  Some  of  them  are  rocking  in  the  cradle ; 
some  are  playing  in  the  nursery ;  some  have  the  down 
of  adolescence  just  blooming  on  their  cheeks.  You 
love  them!  Oh,  how  dearly  you  love  them!  You 
have  studied  every  fold  of  flesh  of  their  bodies; 
through  the  crystal  windows  you  have  looked  down 
deep  into  their  souls,  and  beheld  the  pellucid  innocence 
dwelling  within  them.  Every  bit  of  them,  from  the 
flossy  hair  to  the  little  pink  toes,  is  precious  to  you, 
bone  of  your  bone,  flesh  of  your  flesh.  How  often 
have  they  slept  in  your  arms  while  you  dreamed 
dreams  of  their  coming  greatness  and  goodness. 
The  sound  of  their  prattle,  the  ripple  of  their  laughter 
is  sweeter  in  your  ears  than  all  the  music  of  all  the 
world.  You  send  them  out  with  springing  steps  and 
bright  eyes  to  walk  the  pathways  of  life.  They  go 
with  the  hot  and  bounding  blood  of  youth  beating  in 
their  veins.  Look  down  yonder  gayly  lighted  street. 
There  walks  your  beloved — your  pride — your  hope. 
And  who  is  this  bright  creature  who  approaches  him, 
who  stops  him.  It  is  a  woman,  driven  by  hunger  to 
hunt  for  prey.  She  comes  to  him  as  Eve  came  to 
Adam — a  beautiful  and  brilliant  temptation.  Every 
inherited  trait  of  countless  generations  of  men  tugs 
at  the  poor  boy's  heart.  She  leads  him  away.  'Her 
feet  go  down  to  death;  her  steps  take  hold  on  hell.' 
Your  boy  is  destroyed.  He  dies  not,  but  he  lives 
debased,  diseased,  disgraced.  Your  tears  are  hot 
and  wet  upon  your  face.  'I  will  go  forth,'  you  say, 
'and  slay  that  monster — that  devourer  of  the  inno- 


THE   MEETING.  97 

cent  and  the  beautiful ;  that  murderer  of  the  hopes  of 
mothers;  that  trampler  on  the  hearts  of  women.' 

"Stop,  sister!  Who  set  that  monster  to  hunt  your 
son?  Who  drove  her  from  honest  industry  to  such 
a  dreadful  career? 

"  It  was  you — yes,  you !  Why  the  mockery  of  these 
tears?  You  are  more  to  blame  than  the  temptress. 
For  you  were  rich  and  intelligent  and  influential,  and 
you  stood  by  and  saw  that  poor,  weak  girl  driven  to 
the  most  hideous  of  all  alternatives — starvation  or 
shame.  You  did  it!  You  have  sacrificed  your 
child!  You  nursed  the  wild  beasts  that  have  de 
voured  him.  You  have  driven  the  dagger  into  your 
own  heart. 

"Listen  to  the  story  of  that  girl  who  has  poisoned 
your  son's  flesh  and  life,  and  left  him  a  living  wreck 
on  the  doorstep  of  your  fair  mansion. 

"  I  see  a  farm-house  in  wide  fields ;  a  man  plough 
ing;  a  woman  at  her  household  duties;  several  chil 
dren  playing,  with  rude  toys,  upon  the  floor.  Look 
at  this  little  flaxen-haired  girl,  pretty  as  a  dream, 
innocent  as  the  angels  in  heaven.  It  is  the  home  of 
industry  and  poverty.  The  sun,  as  he  appears  above 
the  eastern  horizon,  finds  them  at  work,  and  when  he 
sinks  in  the  far  west  they  are  still  toiling.  What, 
you  say,  cannot  all  these  vast  fertile  fields,  with  their 
huge  crops  of  food,  feed  these  half-dozen  people? 
Ah,  they  do  not  work  for  themselves.  They  are  the 
bond-slaves  of  others.  Cunning  customs  and  laws 
and  practices  enchain  them  with  invisible  shackles; 
7 


98  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

men  who  live  far  away — whom  they  know  not — 
whom  they  never  saw  nor  will  ever  see, — take  their 
earnings.  Like  Sisyphus  they  roll  the  great  rock  of 
toil  up  the  hill  of  endeavor,  and  ever  and  anon,  as 
it  nears  the  top,  it  thunders  back  upon  them,  and 
they  weep,  for  industry  is  in  vain!  By  an  old-world 
superstition  money,  a  thing  intended  to  simply  measure 
values,  a  yard-stick,  a  scale — is  made  to  breed  money, 
faster  than  the  earth  can  breed  crops. 

"At  last  there  comes  a  dismal  day.  The  father  is 
dead — crushed  under  the  rolling  rock,  the  Sisyphine 
weight  of  interests,  of  taxes,  of  monopolized  markets, 
of  cruel  trusts,  of  every  form  of  human  selfishness 
and  cunning.  The  little  family  is  scattered.  The 
small  flaxen-haired  beauty^  whom  we  saw  playing 
with  the  rag  doll,  is  now  grown  into  budding  woman 
hood;  she  should  have  become  the  mother  of  a  sturdy 
race  of  country-bred  boys  and  girls ;  of  boys  as  manly 
and  girls  as  fair  as  your  own;  for  she  had  in  her 
veins  the  blood  of  the  best  races  of  men  in  all  this 
world.  But  she  never  knows  home,  or  love,  or 
motherhood — sacred  motherhood.  Driven  from  the 
open  country,  where  all  the  lands  are  concentrating 
in  the  hands  of  the  few,  she  has  gone  to  swell  the 
turbid  and  turbulent  stream  of  the  muddy  multitude 
in  this  great  wicked  city.  She  toils,  she  is  weak; 
health  fails,  starvation  stares  her  in  the  face;  she 
falls  into  sin,  she  becomes  a  merciless  hunter  of  men, 
armed  with  the  poisoned  darts  of  disease  and  death; 
your  sweet-faced  boy  encounters  her;  he  is  gone,  lost, 


THE   MEETING.  99 

wrecked,  ruined.  She  has  revenged  her  wrongs  on 
the  innocent ;  she  has  stricken  down  your  best-beloved. 

"O  sister,  think  of  it!  What  wages  did  that  poor 
girl  work  for  before  she  fell?  Ask  her  employer. 
Look  with  astonishment  at  the  meagre  prices  which 
represented  almost  continuous  labor  in  a  garret,  with 
insufficient  food.  Her  toil  went  to  enrich  her  em 
ployer.  Her  life  was  worn  out  for  naught. 

"Would  you,  O  sister  woman,  I  put  it  boldly  to 
you — would  you  have  resisted  leering,  gilded  temp 
tation,  with  nothing  before  you  but  a  hopeless  life  of 
such  wretchedness?  Is  it  a  wonder  that  many  fall? 
Is  it  not  rather  a  wonder  that  any  stand?  By  your 
sinful  indifference  you  have  filled  the  streets  with 
temptations;  you  have  opened  wide  the  gates  of  hell; 
you  have  set  a  large  part  of  the  human  race  to  prey 
ing  on  the  remainder.  They  cannot  help  it.  They 
must  do  it  or  starve! 

"And  look  you!  I  have  talked  to  you  about  your 
son.  But  who  is  it  sits  beside  you?  Your  husband; 
the  beloved  of  your  heart.  Does  he  not  hourly  walk 
through  the  ambush  of  swarming  temptations?  How 
long  can  he  stand?  Go  ask  the  divorce  courts!  Go 
read  the  catalogue  of  wrecked  homes,  of  blighted 
firesides,  of  divided  families. 

"O  sisters!  This  is  one  of  the  crying  evils  of  our 
day — the  root  of  innumerable  miseries,  the  fountain- 
head  of  incalculable  sufferings. 

"'For  she  hath  cast  down  many  wounded;  yea, 
many  strong  men  have  been  slain  by  her. 


100  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

"  'Her  house  is  the  way  to  hell,  going  down  to  the 
chambers  of  death.' 

"  Can  you  cure  this  evil  ?     Yes. 

"Women  are,  as  a  rule,  naturally  good.  They 
do  not  fall  into  debasement  and  defoulment  will 
ingly.  Withdraw  the  dreadful  and  crushing  strain 

O   J  . 

now  resting  upon  the  sex.  Give  them  a  just  and 
fair  return  for  their  toil,  and  they  will  no  longer 
carry  desolation  and  death  into  your  household. 

"Women,  wives,  mothers — help  us  in  this  great 
work!  It  is  your  work.  Agree  with  us  never  again 
to  purchase  any  product  of  woman's  labor  where  the 
woman  does  not  receive  the  full  price  of  the  same, 
less  a  small  percentage  paid  to  other  women  to  sell  it. 

"Save  your  homes,  save  your  children,  save  hu 
manity. 

"Are  you  ready  to  go  with  us?  Are  you  ready 
to  sign?" 

There  was  a  thunderous  "  aye,  aye,"  and  great  cheer 
ing;  and  instantly  a  hundred  sewing-girls  darted  down 
the  aisles  with  printed  forms  of  a  pledge,  and  it  seemed 
to  me  that  nearly  every  one  in  that  great  house  signed 
the  papers.  Then  they  were  carried  up  and  laid  in 
a  pile  on  the  platform,  and  again  the  enthusiasm 
broke  forth  in  thunders  of  applause.  Then  committees 
were  appointed  to  establish  branch  societies  in  every 
ward,  and  the  greatest  meeting  ever  held  in  Omaha 
adjourned  amid  immense  enthusiasm. 

The  next  day  stores  were  hired  in  different  parts 
of  the  city,  and  signs  put  up:  "WOMEN'S  COOPER- 


THE   MEETING.  101 

ATIVE  ASSOCIATION;"  and  soon  hundreds  of  women 
were  at  work,  making  all  manner  of  goods,  while 
steady  streams  of  purchasers  flowed  in  from  morning 
until  night. 

And  then  Sophie  started  the  erection  of  great  build 
ings  in  different  parts  of  the  town,  after  plans  of  her 
own :  ten,  fifteen  stories  high.  The  lower  floors  were 
used  as  stores,  the  upper  as  bed -rooms  and  work 
rooms  for  the  girls.  On  each  floor  there  was  a  kitchen 
to  cook  the  food,  and  shops  to  sell,  at  a  trifle  more 
than  first  cost,  the  articles  of  all  kinds  which  they 
needed  to  buy.  The  topmost  floor  of  all  contained 
reading-rooms,  libraries,  music-rooms  and  a  great 
apartment  for  balls  and  public  meetings.  Here  twice 
a  week  there  was  dancing,  and  the  other  nights  in 
structive  lectures,  with  preaching  by  the  most  dis 
tinguished  clergymen  on  Sundays,  day  and  night. 

What  a  happy  set  of  girls  they  were!  Their  wages 
were  doubled,  quadrupled,  their  expenses  reduced, 
their  lives  happy.  Everything  that  was  best  in  them 
was  called  to  the  surface;  whatever  was  evil  was 
forced  downward  and  disappeared.  The  angels  of 
heaven,  if  submitted  to  earthly  conditions  of  pain 
and  want  and  suffering,  would  soon  become  demons. 
Crime  is  simply  the  output  of  pressure;  a  testimony 
to  the  wickedness  of  man's  laws,  now  or  in  the  past. 
The  women  had  charge  of  the  whole  business.  They 
appointed  committees  who  looked  after  everything; 
supervised  the  stores,  examined  the  books,  saw  that 
purchases  were  made  at  cost,  and  that  no  cunning  f  el- 


102  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

low  inserted  a  steal  between  them  and  their  necessi 
ties.  The  institutions  were  soon  in  a  self-sustaining 
condition.  It  was  a  sort  of  practical  communism, 
but  one  not  ignoring  independent  individualism. 
One  fire  warmed  many  hundreds,  the  same  engine 
worked  a  multitude  of  sewing-machines,  the  same 
music  delighted  thousands,  the  same  cooking  appar 
atus  prepared  the  food  for  hundreds.  A  few  capable 
women  were  paid  to  overlook  the  whole  estab 
lishment;  to  see  that  cleanliness  prevailed  every 
where;  that  order  and  propriety  were  enforced.  The 
appearance  of  the  girls  improved  wonderfully.  Their 
faces  filled  out,  their  cheeks  had  the  glow  of  health, 
their  clothes  were  vastly  better ;  they  had  all  the  look 
of  cultured  and  wealthy  ladies;  their  very  bearing 
showed  independence,  safety,  and  happiness.  No  long 
er  insulted  by  the  brutal  male  underlings  who  had 
formerly  to  pass  upon  their  work,  their  manners  and 
speech  became  courteous,  for  every  woman  instinct 
ively  desires  to  be  a  lady.  These  establishments  were 
little  paradises  on  earth.  Night-schools  were  estab 
lished  in  them  to  educate  those  who  could  not  read 
and  write ;  art-schools  for  those  who  desired  to  rise  to 
higher  pursuits;  and  the  various  professions  proper 
for  women,  as  typesetting,  typewriting,  stenography, 
bookkeeping,  etc. ,  were  taught  to  those  who  intended 
to  follow  those  pursuits.  Male  visitors  were  per 
mitted  to  visit  them  in  the  drawing-rooms  and  at  the 
balls  in  the  presence  of  the  superintendents,  after  they 
had  established  that  they  were  honorable  men  of  good 


THE    MEETING.  103 

reputation.  And  even  the  rudest  of  these  visitors 
soon  perceived  that  there  had  taken  place  an  elevation 
of  character  and  bearing  upon  the  part  of  the  young 
women;  they  were  no  longer  abject,  dependent,  de 
jected,  necessitous;  they  were  ladies  in  the  full  sense 
of  the  word.  Many  were  sought  in  marriage,  as  an 
improved  type  of  womankind. 

My  wife  insisted,  with  a  broad  charity,  upon  one 
condition :  no  woman  who  engaged  a  room  or  bed  in 
any  of  these  establishments  was  ever  asked  to  give 
any  account  of  her  previous  history.  It  was  suffi 
cient  that  applicants  should  be  moral,  industrious  and 
lady-like  in  their  conduct  after  they  entered  the  in 
stitution.  No  girl  was  permitted  to  assail  another 
about  any  part  of  her  past  career,  should  she  have 
knowledge  of  anything  discreditable  to  her.  The 
result  was  that  in  a  little  time  the  news  of  this  great 
reformation  spread  into  thousands  of  obscure  and  dis 
graceful  places,  and,  day  by  day,  those  who  had  been 
driven  to  sin  by  suffering  and  wretchedness  dis 
appeared  from  their  accustomed  haunts  and  entered 
upon  happy  lives  of  prosperous  virtue;  and  so  de 
lightful  to  them  became  the  new  respectability,  and 
the  society  of  good  women,  that  no  temptation  could 
have  drawn  them  back  to  their  old  courses.  The 
hunters  of  men  disappeared  from  the  streets,  and  the 
houses  of  sin  had  to  be  replenished  from  other  cities, 
where  still  able  and  intelligent  merchants,  leading 
citizens,  were  engaged  in  the  noble  work  of  crushing 
women  into  wretchedness  and  crime. 


104  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

Sophie  was  delighted.  She  was  "as  busy  as  a 
nailer."  The  people  of  the  city  were  very  much 
pleased.  They  swarmed  in  great  multitudes  to  the 
evening  lectures,  and  the  balls,  and  the  Sunday 
services,  to  look  at  the  well-dressed,  handsome,  happy 
women;  and  to  think  that  all  this  wonderful  trans 
formation  had  not  cost  them,  or  any  one  else  except  the 
former  employers,  the  loss  of  a  single  penny.  There 
was  the  wonder!  A  mighty  charity  that  was  no 
charity!  And  then  Sophie  established  a  national  so 
ciety,  and  sent  out  speakers  and  organizers  north, 
south,  east,  and  west,  to  agitate  for  the  new  move 
ment,  and  open  stores  and  erect  institutions  all  over 
the  country.  The  newspapers  of  other  cities  took  it 
up,  and  a  great  wave  of  humanitarianism  and  tender 
ness  to  womanhood  spread  far  and  wide,  from  the 
Atlantic  to  the  Pacific  coast;  and  good  men  and 
women  were  found  everywhere  who  stood  ready  to 
carry  forward  the  mighty  reform,  until  every  woman 
in  the  land  was  in  the  "Woman's  League  of  Amer 
ica,"  pledged  to  buy  no  goods  made  by  women  ex 
cept  from  the  women  themselves.  It  was  a  simple 
creed,  but  it  worked  wonders.  And  the  habitations 
of  evil  became  almost  tenantless;  no  longer  were 
wretched  creatures  driven  by  hunger  to  clutch  at  men 
on  the  public  streets,  and  offer  them  disease  in  ex 
change  for  bread.  The  race  rose  with  the  elevation 
of  the  matrix  of  the  race;  for  the  river  of  humanity 
cannot  ascend  above  the  level  of  its  fountain — woman. 


THE   MEETING.  105 

And  oh,  the  incalculable  happiness  that  burst  from 
this  source,  wide  expanding  as  the  rays  of  the  rising 
sun! 

Hunger — direst  foe  of  everything  that  lives — no 
longer  ate  like  a  canker  at  the  vitals  of  delicate 
women.  No  longer  cold  assailed  them,  as  they  sat 
by  their  scarcely-heated  stoves,  balancing  in  doubt 
between  the  pain  of  freezing  and  the  cost  of  the  in 
valuable  "black  diamonds."  No  longer  were  all 
womanly  wants  and  desires,  hopes  and  aspirations 
suppressed. 

The  very  working-men  rejoiced  in  the  good  work, 
for  in  the  degradation  of  women  they  had  found  the 
great  leveller  of  their  own  wages;  the  poor  creatures 
had  to  underbid  them  in  the  market  of  toil  or  starve. 
Their  sisters  had  been  their  enemies — their  daughters 
their  destroyers. 

And  to  the  women  it  seemed  as  if  God  had  indeed 
entered  into  the  world  and  driven  the  devil  back  to 
his  den.  The  earth  became  beautiful,  peaceful,  happy, 
hopeful;  full  of  all  kindness  and  goodness.  And 
tender  feelings  of  love  grew  up  between  the  poor 
workers  and  the  rich  ladies;  they  were  once  more 
flesh  of  one  flesh,  and  sisters  of  one  blood;  walking 
hand  in  hand,  behind  Him  of  Nazareth;  and  every 
step  they  took  together  joy  and  love  sprang  up  under 
their  feet,  and  the  earth  became  more  beautiful.  And 
rich  women,  who  had  been  idle  and  useless,  and  had 
frittered  away  their  lives  in  the  competition  of  shallow 


106  THE  GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

vanities,  and  the  empty  chit-chat  which  go  to  make 
up  their  daily  conversations,  about  the  weather  and 
the  fashions  and  their  servants,  found  something  en 
nobling  to  do,  something  to  drive  away  their  ennui, 
something  that  they  felt  all  divine  powers,  outside  and 
inside  the  visible  world,  could  approve:  the  elevation 
of  their  sisters,  and  in  it  the  protection  of  their  chil 
dren.  And  they  entered  heart  and  soul  into  the  great 
reform.  They  formed  societies,  they  contributed 
money,  they  became  enthusiastic;  and  so  effectively 
did  they  work  that  it  almost  seemed  that  there  would 
soon  be  found  no  degraded  women  in  all  this  nation, 
save  such  poor,  oppressed  creatures  as  were  forced  out 
from  across  the  sea,  from  those  horrible  lands  of  in 
justice,  oppression,  and  cruelty. 

And  so  an  endless  work  was  begun  which  was 
destined  to  transform  the  human  race.  Not  charity, 
but  justice.  Not  stealing  from  the  poor  and  giving 
them  back  part  of  it,  with  many  airs  and  flourishes 
and  ostentations;  but  stopping  the  stealing,  and  per 
mitting  industry  to  keep  the  fruits  of  its  own  toil. 
How  beautiful  is  industry  when  it  means  plenty,  pros 
perity,  happiness,  a  clear  mind,  a  serene  heart,  a 
comfortable  home!  How  horrible  is  industry  when 
it  means  grinding  and  unrequited  toil — toil  that  does 
not  afford  fuel  to  keep  up  the  fires  under  the  engine 
that  does  the  work  of  life;  toil  that  enriches  not  the 
toiler,  but  the  idle  stranger!  Is  it  any  wonder  that 
under  such  conditions  the  soul  of  the  laborer  becomes 


THE   MEETING.  107 

bitterer  than  death  and  blacker  than  hell,  and  he  is 
ready  to  curse  God  and  die;  aye,  ready  to  blow  up 
a  world  that  permits  such  things  without  protest? 

Of  course  I  am  anticipating  events  which  required 
weeks  and  months  and  years  to  carry  out.  I  resume 
the  thread  of  my  narrative. 


CHAPTER  XV. 

I    HEAR    FROM    KANSAS. 

WE  returned  to  Philadelphia.  All  Omaha  grieved 
when  we  took  our  departure.  The  poor  girl  who  had 
horsewhipped  her  persecutor  had  become  a  queen 
among  women.  Her  popularity  was  unbounded.  I 
was  quite  dwarfed  beside  her,  and  yet  I  rejoiced  in 
my  inferiority;  for  I  was  only  able  to  reach  the 
minds  of  men,  but  she  possessed  that  subtle,  uncon 
scious,  occult  art  which  ties  a  million  hearts  to  one 
heart.  We  have  built  up  innumerable  schools, 
properly  enough,  to  educate  the  rninds  of  the  race, 
but  the  s;>ul,  the  sympathies  outride  them  all. 
"One  touch  of  nature  makes  the  whole  world  kin." 
There  are  great  influences  which  cannot  be  tabulated, 
which  do  not  appear  in  your  census-tables,  with  the 
wheat,  the  pork,  the  corn,  the  dollars,  the  bonds,  but 
which  yet,  in  the  affairs  of  this  world,  count  for  more 
than  all  these  things  put  together.  They  touch,  as  it 
were,  the  female  side  of  the  universal  nature;  men  do 
not  think  them,  they/ee?  them;  and  when  they  move 
through  the  consciences  of  a  race,  they  overwhelm 
nations  and  overthrow  dynasties. 

When  I  reached  Philadelphia,  I  asked  my  servant 
108 


I   HEAR   FROM   KANSAS.  109 

for  my  mail.  In  Kansas,  in  my  obscure  days,  I  had 
received  about  one  letter  a  month ;  my  correspond 
ence  had  increased  greatly  since  I  became  famous. 
But  I  was  not  prepared  for  the  sight  which  met  my 
eyes,  as  my  man,  with  a  smile,  led  me  into  another 
room,  where  I  found  a  lot  of  sacks  piled  up  several 
feet  high,  every  sack  full  of  letters. 

I  employed  a  dozen  clerks  to  read,  separate,  and 
tabulate  them.  Three-fourths  were  applications  for 
help;  some  were  suggestions  of  new  inventions; 
others  offers  of  services;  some  were  from  knaves  or 
lunatics,  demanding  large  sums  as  the  price  of  my 
life,  and  still  others  were  invitations  to  invest  capital 
in  different  enterprises,  from  building  railroads  to 
manufacturing  toothpicks. 

I  directed  my  detective,  Brooks,  who  had  accom 
panied  me,  to  select  assistants  and  inquire  into  every 
case  where  application  was  made  for  charity,  and  to 
relieve  those  he  thought  deserved  help. 

Among  the  letters  was  one  from  my  mother,  and 
another  from  my  father.  My  mother's  letter  was  as 
follows : 


DEAR  EPHRAIM  : — I  take  my  pen  in  hand  to  let  you  kno\< 
that  we  are  all  enjoying  good  health,  thanks  be  to  the  Dis 
penser  of  all  goodness,  and  I  hope  this  will  find  you  the  same. 

Our  old  cow,  Blossom,  had  a  steer  calf  yesterday.  I  have  a 
great  deal  of  trouble  with  the  chickens.  I  fear  a  skunk 
gets  into  the  coop  at  night.  I  have  lost  three  lately .  one 
of  them  was  that  pretty  brown  hen  with  the  top- knot ;  you 
remember  her ;  he  is  very  poor,  and  has  a  hard  time  to  get 
along  with  his  big  family.  Mrs.  Smithers  was  telling  me  yes- 


110  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

terday  that  she  didn't  really  know  what  they  would  do  for 
the  mortgage ;  it  is  due  next  month,  and  the  congregation  is 
so  poor  that  he  cannot  collect  anything  scarcely  whatever. 
Father  has  made  a  number  of  improvements  on  the  farm. 
He  has  built  a  new  barn  with  a  windmill,  and  a  new  paling 
fence  around  it ;  and  bought  a  new  team  and  another  car 
riage,  and  the  farm  that  joins  us-on  the  west,  that  the  Hether- 
ingtons  used  to  own :  you  remember  Sophy — a  good  girl 
Sophy  was.  But  your  father  is  a  changed  man  :  he  is  lend 
ing  out  money  on  chattel -mortgages  at  five  percent  a  month. 
He  is  greedy  to  make  all  he  can,  and  has  left  the  Alliance. 
I  tell  him  that  at  his  time  of  life  ;  his  thoughts  should  be  on 
another  and  a  better  world ;  but  it's  no  use  talking  to  him, 
and  he  wants  to  buy  all  the  land  that  joins  him.  The  money 
you  have  loaned  out  all  over  the  county  has  helped  a  great 
many  poor  people,  and  I  hope  God  will  bless  you  for  it. 

Your  loving  mother, 

MATILDA  D.  BENEZET. 

I  made  out  from  this  mixed  letter  that  the  Eev. 
Mr.  Smithers,  a  good,  worthy  man,  who  was  living 
in  a  little  house,  on  a  town  lot  in  El  Dorado,  was 
embarassed,  and  that  success  had  transformed  my 
good  father  from  a  philanthropic  member  of  the 
Farmers'  Alliance  into  a  grasping  money-lender. 
There  was  no  chance,  in  consequence  of  my  loans 
through  Mr.  Hayes,  for  him  to  get  big  rates  on  farm 
mortgages,  and  so  he  was  lending  money  at  high 
figures  on  chattel  mortgages. 

I  wrote  to  my  mother  as  follows: 

MY  DEAR  MOTHER  : — I  am  glad  to  receive  your  letter,  and 
to  learn  that  you  are  all  well.  I  know  that  you  are  a  good, 
kind,  charitable  woman,  always  anxious  to  help  some  poor 
person  in  trouble,  or  to  nurse  some  one  who  is  sick.  You 
have  not  asked  me  for  any  money,  but  I  know  you  can  use  it 


I  HEAR   FROM   KANSAS.  Ill 

to  advantage ;  and  so  I  inclose  you  a  draft  for  ten  thousand 
dollars.  Put  it  in  bank  and  draw  against  it  as  you  want 
it.  Pay  off  Mr.  Smithers'  mortgage,  and  give  him  as  much 
more  as  will  help  him  out  of  his  troubles.  If  there  are  any 
other  clergymen  who  will  accept  help  from  you  be  sure  to 
give  it  to  them.  Don't  make  any  distinction  as  to  denomi 
national  differences.  The  ministers  are  all  useful  men,  and 
all.  working  together  for  the  good  of  man,  acccording  to 
their  best  lights ;  and  I  have  an  idea  that,  so  far  as  belief  is 
concerned,  all  roads  lead  to  heaven,  whether  they  be  the  wide 
and  beaten  highways  of  authority,  or  the  mountain  goat- 
paths  of  honest,  individual  judgment.  The  Kingdom  of 
Heaven  is  not  fenced  in,  even  with  a  barbed-wire  fence ;  but 
is  as  open  as  God's  mercy  and  as  extensive  as  His  goodness. 

Don't  fail  to  call  upon  me  for  more  money  when  you  spend 
that  which  I  send.  Remember  it  costs  me  nothing,  and  one 
can  afford  to  be  charitable  under  such  circumstances.  So 
don't  let  any  one  around  you  suffer.  Affectionately  your  son, 

EPHRAIM. 

And  then  I  read  my  father's  letter.     It   was   as 
follows : 

DEAR  EPHE  : — I  saw  Mr.  Hayes  the  other  day.  He  said 
that  some  one  had  told  you  that  I  was  ready,  the  night  you 
left  El  Dorado,  to  help  the  bankers  arrest  you  as  a  lunatic, 
for  lending  out  money  at  two  per  cent  a  year.  There  isn't  a 
word  of  truth  in  that  story.  I  wonder  how  men  can  tell 
such  lies.  Deacon  Jones  and  Mr.  Smith,  the  bankers,  came 
out  to  see  me  that  afternoon,  and  told  me  that  you  were  going 
to  let  every  man  in  the  county  have  money  at  two  per  cent  a 
year ;  and  that  it  would  ruin  all  the  business  of  the  county, 
and  drive  our  best  men  away ;  and  they  thought  you  were 
crazy  as  a  bed-bug.  And  I  said  that  no  man  in  his  senses 
would  lend  money  for  that  rate,  when  he  could  just  as  easy 
get  twenty -four  per  cent  to  forty  per  cent ;  and  that  I  would 
go  into  town  the  next  day  and  see  about  it.  And  that  was 
all  there  was  to  that  yarn.  And  I  went  in  the  next  day,  and 


112  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

they  were  going  to  arrest  you,  and  they  couldn't  find  you ; 
and  I  would  like  to  knqw  how  you  got  off.  But  I  must  say, 
as  your  father,  that  I  think  it  is  a  shame  to  lend  money  at 
that  rate.  Why,  it  has  driven  all  our  bankers  out  of  the 
county  except  Mr.  Smith,  and  he  is  closing  up  his  business 
to  go  too.  It  has  just  ruined  the  mortgage  business.  I  of 
fered  money  at  ten  per  cent  on  farm  mortgages,  and  couldn't 
get  a  taker :  I  will  have  to  go  into  the  next  counties ;  and 
I  can't  get  any  interest  on  my  money  except  on  chattel 
mortgages,  and  your  two  per  cent  folly  is  ruining  even  that 
business,  for  people  are  getting  out  of  debt.  In  fact,  I  begin 
to  wonder  what  the  capitalistic  class  is  to  do  in  this  county. 
They  will  have  to  quit,  or  go  to  work.  And  I  want  to  say, 
my  dear  Ephe,  that  all  that  talk  we  used  to  listen  to,  at  the  Al 
liance,  about  the  Plutocrats  and  the  sufferings  of  the  farmers, 
is  a  lot  of  "rot."  The  farmers  are  to  blame  for  their  condi 
tion  ;  they  are  much  better  off  than  the  same  class  is  in  Eu 
rope.  I  know  I  used  to  swallow  that  stuff  and  believed  in 
it,  but  I  have  got  my  eyes  open.  The  farmers  should  work 
harder  and  live  more  economically,  and  they  wouldn't  be  in 
debt.  Look  at  the  way  they  leave  their  machinery  standing 
out,  when  they  should  put  it  under  cover.  To  tell  the  truth, 
I  have  very  little  sympathy  with  such  men.  There  must  be 
distinctions  in  society — the  Declaration  of  Independence  is 
all  wrong — all  men  are  not  created  equal ;  there  must  be  a 
richer  and  a  poorer  class ;  and  some  must  work  for  the  bene 
fit  of  others  of  more  intelligence.  I  hope  this  two  per  cent  a 
year  business  does  not  mean  that  you  are  going  to  join  the 
anarchistic  and  communistic  crowd  of  cranks  and  lunatics 
who  are  trying  to  interfere  with  the  laws  of  nature  and  the 
great  "law  of  supply  and  demand." 

As  there  is  scarcely  anything  to  do  in  this  county,  I  think 
of  starting  a  bank  in  the  city  of  Topeka ;  and  I  want  you  to 
send  me  fifty  thousand  dollars,  or  you  might  make  it  one 
hundred  thousand  dollars,  for  it  costs  you  nothing  ;  and  I  will 
so  use  the  money  as  to  leave  an  estate  worth  something  to 
the  family  when  I  die,  and  you  will  have  your  share  of  it. 
Your  affectionate  father, 

JOHN  BENEZET. 


I   HEAR   FROM   KANSAS.  113 

I  did  not  know  whether  to  be  amused  or  angered 
by  this  epistle  of  my  worthy  sire,'  and  so  I  sat  down  and 
wrote  him  the  following  reply : 

MY  DEAR  OLD  SHYLOCK  : — I  have  just  received  your  letter. 
You  are  a  pretty  one  !  A  little  success  has  turned  your  shal 
low  old  head,  as  it  has  the  heads  of  thousands  before  you. 
The  devil  of  insatiate  greed  has  entered  into  your  heart,  and 
you  have  become  an  oppressor  and  plunderer  of  your  fellow- 
men.  I  am  sorry  I  ever  gave  you  a  penny,  for  you  have  done 
harm  with  it,  and  not  good ;  and  I  shall  not  send  you  a  dol 
lar,  save  what  may  be  necessary  for  your  personal  expenses. 
And,  like  a  wretched  old  poll-parrot,  you  repeat  the  stale 
lies  and  excuses  for  cruelty  and  injustice  which  you  have 
picked  up  from  the  small  storekeepers  and  the  still  smaller 
money-lenders  of  the  village.  You  ought  to  be  ashamed  of 
yourself.  "The  farmers  should  work  harder  and  live  more 
economically  !"  Don't  you  know,  from  your  own  experience, 
that  they  work  twice  as  hard  and  live  twice  as  poorly  as  the 
people  of  the  villages?  Who  is  it  talks  this  kind  of  stuff? 
The  middlemen,  who  sit  in  easy  chairs,  doing  nothing, 
while  the  farmers  walk  through  the  mud  between  the  plough- 
handles,  from  morning  until  night,  with  about  ten  pounds  of 
clay  sticking  to  each  foot ;  or  toil  at  the  threshing-machine 
or  on  the  straw-stacks,  with  the  sweat  running  in  streams 
from  their  dust-begrimed  faces,  while  their  masters  of 
the  towns  smoke  their  cigars  and  read  the  daily  papers, 
or  the  last  now  novel,  and  talk  about  the  lazy  farmers.  "  Live 
more  economically !"  Why,  the  inhabitants  of  the  cities 
consume  ten  dollars  of  luxuries  where  the  farmer  consumes 
one.  The  board  bill  of  the  merchant  for  a  week  would  sup 
port  a  farmer  and  all  his  family  for  a  month.  Where  do  you 
find  the  empty  oyster  cans  and  the  mutton-chop  bones?  Is  it 
around  the  back  doors  of  the  farmer's  houses?  No;  pork  fat 
and  baked  beans,  with  molasses,  is  their  highest  conception 
of  luxury.  And  yet,  who  are  best  entitled  to  the  good  things 
of  this  life ;  the  men  who  create  all  wealth,  or  the  men  who 
appropriate  it?  And  then  you  utter  the  same  old  "chestnut" 

a 


114  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

about  leaving  machinery  out-of-doors.  I  repeat,  I  am  ashamed 
of  you.  Do  you  remember  the  old  reaper  that  stood  all  last 
year  behind  the  barn.  Why  didn't  you  build  a  shed  over  it? 
Simply  because  you  hadn't  the  money  to  buy  the  lumber; 
and  you  had  no  credit,  and  nothing  left  to  morgtage  for  se 
curity  for  the  lumber.  But  it  might  be  said  you  could  have 
made  a  thatched  shed  with  straw  and  a  few  poles.  True, 
but  even  the  poles,  in  a  prairie  country,  cost  money ,  and 
you  were  utterly  demoralized  and  despairing.  You  can't 
make  a  man  work  without  hope.  All  the  faculties  you  had 
were  concentrated  on  the  question  of  when  you  would  be 
kicked  off  the  farm,  and  what  you  would  do  next.  And  you 
have  gone  back  on  the  Alliance !  Of  course  you  have.  You 
have  joined  the  great  army  of  capitalists,  and  the  workers 
are  now  your  slaves  and  foes.  It  is  to  me  the  most  astonish 
ing  thing  in  nature  that  the  small  tradesmen,  whose  own 
prosperity  must  depend  entirely  upon  the  prosperity  of  the 
farmers,  fight  every  effort  of  the  producing  classes  to  im 
prove  their  condition.  They  seem  to  rejoice  to  see  them 
swept  off  the  face  of  the  earth — driven  out  from  their  homes, 
wanderers  and  pariahs,  to  migrate  to  some  distant  region, 
or  to  swell  the  over -stocked  labor  force  of  the  great  cities, 
with  all  manner  of  temptations,  pulling  them  down  to  crime 
and  ruin.  What  would  be  thought  of  the  farmer  who,  when 
told  that  a  lion  was  ravaging  and  destroying  his  flocks 
and  herds,  would  rub  his  hands  and  cry  out  "  Bully  for  the 
lion  !  Give  it  to  the  darned  cusses  !"  Why,  the  neighbors  of 
that  man  would  see  that  he  was  safely  removed  to  the  insane 
asylum.  And  is  not  this  just  what  the  middlemen  are  do 
ing,  in  their  contemptible  crusade  against  their  customers ; 
in  their  upholding  of  every  ring  and  trust  and  combine  that 
plunders  them?  Does  not  every  dollar  stolen  from  the 
farmers  leave  a  dollar  less  for  the  farmers  to  trade  with  at 
the  stores?  And  yet,  many  of  these  peaked-nosed  villagers 
actually  persecute  the  farmers  for  their  efforts  to  protect 
themselves,  so  that  they  may  have  something  to  take  to  that 
very  merchant's  store.  Is  it  any  wonder  that  the  farmers 
are  driven  to  consider  whether  it  would  not  be  well  to  get 
clear  of  the  whole  gang  who  live  upon,  and,  nevertheless, 


I   HEAR   FROM   KANSAS.  115 

hate  and  despise  them?  These  townspeople  will  yet  wake  up 
to  realize  that  the  farmers  are  necessary  to  them,  but  that 
they  are  in  no  wise  necessary^  to  the  farmers.  Of  course,  there 
are  here  and  there  good,  sensible  merchants  and  business  men, 
who  understand  these  things,  who  have  hearts  under  their 
waistcoats ;  who  are  ready  to  work  for  the  benefit  of  the 
whole  community  ;  and  who  do  not  regard  their  customers  as 
the  tiger  regards  the  poor  Hindoo  he  devours,  but  as  friends 
and  brethren,  whose  well-being  is  essential  to  their  own. 
The  poet  says,  however  : 

"  There  are  good  men  here  and  there  ;  but  the  world, 
•  Like  a  black  block  of  marble,  jagged  with  white, 
Looks  blacker  than  without  such. " 

Now,  my  dear  father,  I  want  you  never  to  forget  the  years 
of  desperate  misery  you  passed  through  : — the  hopeless,  end 
less  struggle  against  debt  and  high  rates  of  interest,  when 
every  well  dressed  man  approaching  the  farm  was  looked 
upon  by  you  and  the  whole  family  with  terror,  for  he  was 
presumably  a  lawyer,  a  banker,  or  a  sheriff's  officer.  Stop 
and  think  what  it  means  in  a  community  when  all  the  well- 
dressed  men  live  off  the  people,  while  the  people  themselves, 
the  source  of  all  wealth,  are  steeped  to  the  lips  in  debt  and 
poverty.  Why,  you  know  very  well  that,  in  some  sections,  a 
buggy  is  enough  to  throw  a  whole  community  of  western 
farmers  into  a  paroxysm  of  terror.  A  farmer  in  a  good  suit 
of  clothes  is  so  rare  a  sight  in  much  of  the  western  United 
States  that  the  presumption  is  he  was  a  member  of  the  last 
legislature,  and  got  a  divide  with  the  giant  plunderers  of 
the  people.  For  as  pork  is  fried  in  its  own  fat,  so  the  people 
are  controlled  and  kept  in  subjection  by  a  tithe  of  the  wealth 
stolen  from  them.  This  it  is  that  runs  the  old  parties ;  pays 
the  expenses  of  the  lawyers,  bankers,  machine  agents,  in 
surance  agents,  etc. ,  who  constitute  the  old  party  conventions  ; 
and  buys  up  the  members  of  the  legislature,  whose  salaries 
are  paid  by  the  people,  and  whose  principal  business  it  is  to 
betray  the  people,  and  deny  them  the  very  legislation  they 
demand.  And  now.  to  think  that  you— my  father — the  other 
day  the  poorest  of  the  poor — made  rich  by  an  extraordinary 


116  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

freak  of  fortune,  and  an  intervention  of  Divine  Providence — 
should  at  once  join  in  to  oppress  the  very  class  from  which 
you  have  risen,  and  grind  them  still  farther  down  into  the 
earth ;  and  should  complain  of  the  prosperity  I  have  created 
around  you,  and  be  ready  to  remove  to  a  distant  town  to  find 
miserable  victims  for  your  greed 

Darwin  says  mankind  are  descended  from  monkeys.  It  is 
an  insult  to  the  monkeys  to  say  so.  And  I  should  not  won 
der  if  that  is  what  they  are  chattering  about  so  vociferously 
and  persistently  in  the  menageries.  If  their  language  could 
be  interpreted,  it  would  probably  be  found  that  they  are  vigo 
rously  protesting  that  they  are  not  the  ancestors  of  those 
vicious,  cruel,  greedy  beasts  called  men. 

No,  my  dear  father ;  I  am  ready  to  respond  to  any  reason 
able  demands  for  your  personal  happiness  and  comfort,  but 
I  shall  not  give  you  one  cent  with  which  to  make  others 
wretched.  Respectfully  your  son, 

EPHRAIM  BENEZET. 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

ARCHIBALD    M.   HAYES5    LETTER. 

THE  next  letter  I  opened  was  from  my  excellent 
friend  the  attorney,  Mr.  Hayes.     It  read  as  follows: 

MY  DEAR  SIR  : — I  beg  leave  to  report  to  you  the  results  of 
the  trust  you  were  good  enough  to  leave  in  my  hands. 

I  have  been  exceedingly  busy :  an  immense  crowd  is  con 
stantly  gathered  in  and  around  my  office ;  the  street  is,  at 
times,  almost  impassable.  Many  come  to  obtain  loans,  but 
the  greater  number  desire  simply  to  record  their  names,  so 
that  when  their  existing  mortgages  fall  due,  months  or  years 
ahead,  they  may  be  able  to  secure  loans  from  you.  I  enclose 
you  a  tabulated  statement  of  the  amount  already  put  out, 
with  the  name  of  each  borrower,  the  sum  lent,  a  description 
of  the  property,  etc.  You  will  perceive  that  the  total  amount 
loaned  for  you,  to  this  date,  is  four  hundred  and  seventy-six 
thousand  eight  hundred  dollars.  I  hold  all  the  notes  and 
mortgages  subject  to  your  order — they  are  drawn  to  you. 
The  total  amount  of  existing  mortgage  indebtedness,  at  the 
time  you  began  to  make  loans  in  this  county,  as  shown  by 
the  register  of  deed  books,  was  one  million  six  hundred  and 
twenty-eight  thousand  dollars,  all  of  it  bearing  ten  per  cent 
per  annum  interest,  with  bonus  on  loan  or  for  renewals  of  as 
much  more,  making  a  total  of  three  hundred  and  twenty-five 
thousand  dollars  per  annum  taken  out  of  industry  in  this  one 
county  every  year,  besides  the  stealages  on  the  watered  stock 
of  railroad  companies,  which,  as  I  figure  it,  amounts  to 
about  as  much  more ;  and  besides  the  chattel-mortgage  in 
debtedness,  the  store  bills,  machine  bills,  etc.,  etc.,  all  of  it 

117 


118  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

bearing  interest  from  ten  to  forty  per  cent.  Every  year  these 
vast  sums  had  to  be  wrung  from  about  two  thousand  farmers  ; 
they  had  to  toil  unceasingly  to  raise  it ;  and  when  they  had 
paid  it  there  was  left  to  them  only  the  means  of  the  barest 
and  rudest  subsistence.  Now,  thanks  to  your  great  and  un 
paralleled  charity,  the  three  hundred  and  twenty-five  thousand 
dollars  will  be  reduced  to  thirty-two  thousand  five  hundred 
dollars  per  annum,  and  this  will  leave  nearly  three  hundred 
thousand  dollars  annually  in  the  hands  of  the  producing 
class.  With  this  they  will  soon  pay  up  their  chattel-mort 
gage  indebtedness,  their  store  debts,  their  machine  debts,  etc. , 
and  then  the  annual  saving  will  be  applied  to  increasing  the 
comforts  of  their  homes,  and  to  paying  off  gradually  the 
principal  of  their  mortgages. 

I  cannot  begin  to  describe  to  you  the  transformation  al 
ready  wought  in  the  appearance  of  the  people  of  this  county. 

Their  whole  aspect  has  changed.  Hope  has  lighted  up 
their  hearts;  their  eyes  are  bright ;  their  faces  smiling.  Men 
and  women  have  gone  to  work  with  redoubled  energy ;  and 
you  know  our  American  people  are  the  most  energetic  and 
industrious  in  the  world;  and  those  emigrants  who  have 
come  to  us  from  foreign  lands  are  but  little  behind  them. 
They  feel  assured  that  their  homes  are  saved.  The  dreadful 
doubt  as  to  the  future,  which  ate  like  a  coal  of  fire  into  their 
hearts  all  these  years,  is  gone.  They  can  not  only  see  the 
clouds  rising  from  the  earth  ;  they  already  behold  the  sun  of 
hope  shining  in  the  heavens.  The  gloom  and  dejection  are  all 
gone.  They  move  with  quicker  steps.  They  are  better  fed, 
and  that  means  greatdr  capacity  to  work. 

The  strangest  part  of  the  affair  is  the  effect  of  this  change 
upon  the  business  men  of  the  town,  and  the  town  itself.  At 
first  the  villagers  would  have  hung  you.  They  prophesied 
the  utter  destruction  of  everything.  But  as  soon  as  the 
farmers,  who  borrowed  from  you,  realized  that  they  had  a 
surplus  to  spend,  which  before  went  to  the  money-lender, 
they  found  they  had  a  thousand  wants.  There  was  a  new 
fence  or  a  new  barn  to  be  built ;  the  men's  and  women's 
clothes  were  worn  threadbare,  and  had  to  be  replaced ; 
articles  of  furniture  were  to  be  bought ;  they  must  have  a 


ARCHIBALD   M.    HAYES'    LETTER.  119 

new  harness  for  the  team,  and  something  of  the  luxuries  of 
civilization  for  the  table.  Those  who  had  not  yet  borrowed 
from  you,  but  had  entered  their  names  for  loans,  felt  so  sure 
of  an  increased  income  in  a  few  months  or  a  year  or  two, 
that  they  had  more  courage  to  go  in  debt,  and  the  merchants 
felt  safer  in  giving  them  credit.  The  business  of  the  town 
quadrupled  in  a  month.  The  streets  were  lined  with  wagons  ; 
every  store  was  packed  with  buyers  ;  the  wholesale  merchants 
in  Kansas  City  were  so  astounded  by  the  magnitude  of  the 
orders  from  our  town,  for  goods,  that  they  were  afraid  at  first 
to  ship  the  goods,  until  they  sent  an  agent  out  to  investigate 
the  cause  of  such  an  extraordinary  demand ;  but  when  they 
learned  the  facts,  every  merchant  here  could  get  all  the 
credit  he  wanted  on  his  own  terms.  The  merchants  and 
business  men  made  money  "  hand  over  fist ;"  and  they  set  car 
penters  and  painter?  and  masons  at  work  repairing  their 
houses  or  erecting  new  and  grander  ones.  There  were  no 
more  mortgage  foreclosures  in  the  weekly  paper,  but  the  mer 
chants  advertised  so  liberally  that  the  happy  editor  had  to 
enlarge  his  journal ;  and,  released  from  the  thraldom  of  his 
indebtedness  of  a  few  dollars  to  a  banker,  the  better  elements 
of  the  man  came  to  the  top,  and  he  has  become  a  defender 
of  popular  rights  and  the  demands  of  the  Alliance.  The 
news  spread,  and  business  men  and  mechanics  from  other 
localities  rushed  for  this  centre  of  activity  and  happiness ; 
and  we  have  greatly  increased  our  population :  town  lots 
have  had  a  "  boom, "  and  even  the  lawyers  are  kept  busy 
drawing  deeds  and  contracts ;  and  they  at  last  realize  that 
there  can  be  prosperity,  even  for  them,  that  is  not  based  on 
the  impoverishment  and  ruin  of  their  fellow  men. 

The  whole  town  is  happy ;  and  the  men  who  intended  to 
have  sent  you  to  the  insane  asylum  are  now  collecting  money 
to  erect  a  monument  to  you  as  a  great  public  benefactor ; 
and  they  propose  to  place  it  in  the  most  prominent  part  of 
the  town.  Even  the  bankers,  who  shook  the  dust  of  the 
place  from  their  feet,  and  left  us  forever,  have  heard  the 
news  and  returned  to  share  in  the  general  prosperity ;  and 
one  of  them  told  me  the  other  day  that  really  there  was  more 
money  to  be  made  where  all  were  making  money  than 


120  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

where  the  most  of  the  people  were  going  to  destruction. 
They  are  like  Charles  Lamb's  Chinamen,  who,  after  burning 
up  hundreds  of  houses  over  the  owners'  heads,  in  order  to 
roast  the  owner's  pigs,  discovered,  to  their  intense  astonish 
ment  and  delight,  that  they  could  actually  roast  a  pig  without 
burning  a  house.  And  so  these  men  have  at  last  learned 
that  they  can  positively  make  money  without  sending  some 
poor  fellow-being  to  a  pauper's  grave ;  in  other  words,  that 
business  does  not  mean  a  kind  of  moral  murder. 

I  know  it  must  be  a  great  pleasure  for  you  to  hear  all  this, 
and  to  realize  that  you  have  conferred  so  much  happiness 
upon  so  many  thousands  of  worthy  human  creatures.  It 
has  been,  I  assure  you,  a  great  pleasure  to  me  to  be  the 
humble  instrument  of  doing  all  this  good  under  your  direc 
tions.  I  hope  you  will  command  my  services  in  all  things 
in  the  future. 

Our  townspeople  have  only  one  dread  upon  their  minds, 
and  it  really  begins  to  look  as  if  it  was  well  founded.  This 
county  is  an  oasis  of  happiness  in  the  midst  of  a  wide  desert 
of  human  misery,  more  than  two  thousand  miles  in  diam 
eter.  As  the  fame  of  our  prosperity  spreads,  the  unhappy 
people  all  round  us  will  move  in  upon  us ;  and  then  their 
ever- increasing  competition  will  crush  out  our  business  men 
and  our  mechanics  and  laboring  men,  until  we,  the  towns 
people,  will  be  once  more  reduced  'to  the  level  of  the  general 
misery.  Can  you  not,  my  dear  sir,  use  the  influence  your 
great  wealth  and  benevolence  have  given  you,  to  induce  Con 
gress,  now  in  session,  to  do  for  the  whole  nation  what  you 
have  done  for  a  single  county,  and  thus  lift  the  entire  Re 
public  out  of  the  slough  of  wretchedness  in  which  it  is  now 
wallowing?  Pardon  the  suggestion  ;  but  I  perceive  that  it  is 
useless  to  help  one  spot  if  all  the  rest  of  the  land  is  left  unre 
deemed.  It  is  like  shipwrecked  sailors  who,  in  their  despair, 
swim  to  the  plank  that  already  holds  up  one  man,  and  is  not 
large  enough  to  sustain  any  others  ;  and  clambering  upon  it, 
they  all  go  down  to  the  bottom  together.  But  Congress  could 
give  this  universal  relief,  and  only  Congress  can  do  it.  Be 
lieve  me  to  be,  with  great  respect,  your  humble  friend 

ARCHIBALD  M.  HAYES. 


CHAPTEE   XVII. 

I    APPEAL     TO     CONGRESS. 

MR.  HAYES'  suggestion  set  me  to  thinking  seri 
ously. 

I  was  the  most  talked-of  man  in  the  nation.  The 
newspapers  chronicled  my  slightest  movement.  Ten 
thousand  scientists  were  engaged  in  all  parts  of  the 
world  searching  for  "the  philosopher's  stone."  The 
business  classes  were  literally  down  on  their  knees 
before  me;  the  bankers  worshipped  me;  the  news 
papers  glorified  me  as  never  king  or  emperor  had 
been  glorified  before  in  all  this  world. 

/  could  make  gold !  I  could  make  millions  in  an 
instant! 

"Was  there  ever  such  a  power?  What  were  the  per 
iods  of  the  grandest  orator,  the  strains  of  the  noblest 
poet,  compared  with  the  power  to  make  gold?  What 
were  beauty,  art,  literature,  music,  painting,  state 
craft,  in  comparison  with  the  unlimited  ownership  of 
the  universal  yellow  master  of  mankind!  The  gold- 
maker!  I  could  have  established  a  religion,  and  all 
men  would  have  worshipped  me! 

What  could  I  not  accomplish?  For  the  people 
had  confidence  in  me.  They  had  read  of  my  inar- 

121 


122  THE    GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

riage  to  Sophie;  and  of  Sophie's  great  society  for  the 
redemption  of  women;  and  of  the  transformation  of 
Butler  County,  Kansas;  and  we  were  the  most  popu 
lar  couple  in  the  world.  All  the  newspaper  type  in 
creation  was  busy  praising  us  both. 

Did  it  not  seem  reasonable,  therefore,  that  if,  with 
all  this  prestige,  I  went  down  to  Washington,  and 
made  a  speech  to  Congress,  they  would  do  what  I 
proposed?  Why  not?  I  would  try  it. 

And  so  I  telephoned  that  I  wanted  to  see  the  re 
porters  of  the  daily  press. 

In  an  hour  fifty  forward-leaning,  eager-faced  young 
men,  with  pencil  and  paper  in  hand,  bright,  keen, 
honorable,  sagacious  youths,  sat  around  me  in  my 
parlor,  ready  to  convey  .to  an  expectant  world  my 
every  word,  my  lightest  whisper,  the  movement  of 
my  lips,  the  wrinkle  of  my  brows,  with  a  photographic 
description  of  my  whole  person,  from  the  top  of  my 
head  to  the  soles  of  my  boats,  illustrated  with  bright, 
vivacious  pencil  sketches  of  my  appearance,  my 
house,  everything. 

I  told  them  what  I  wanted.  The  pencils  flew.  I 
desired  to  talk  to  Congress  upon  the  money  question; 
to  urge  upon  them  land  loans  to  the  people,  at  two 
P&r  cent  per  annum. 

The  next  day  the  whole  civilized  world  was  talking 
about  and  generally  approving  of  my  grand  ideas;  for 
could  anything  less  than  grand  ideas  emanate  from  a 
man  who  could  make  gold!  If  I  had  cried  "Boof" 
on  the  street  corners,  mankind  would  have  seen  some 


I  APPEAL  TO   CONGRESS.  123 

occult,  mysterious,  and  prophetic  meaning  in  that 
wondrous  syllable.  They  would  have  recognized  it 
as  an  embodiment  of  the  incalculable;  a  symbol  of 
the  infinite  and  the  inexpressible. 

My  journey  to  Washington  was  like  the  movement 
of  the  giant  Gulliver  through  the  land  of  the  Lilipu- 
tians.  It  was  one  continued  ovation.  An  angel  from 
heaven,  who  could  not  create  gold,  would,  have  been, 
with  all  his  wings,  a  very  tame  and  uninteresting 
personage  compared  with  me.  A  few  philosophers 
might  have  examined  him  to  see  how  his  quill  feathers 
were  attached  to  him,  but  his  heavenly  whiteness 
would  have  been  left  standing  alone,  while  rich  and 
poor,  princes  and  peasants,  bankers  and  beggars, 
"rag-tag  and  bob-tail,"  and  all  mankind,  would  have 
poured  swarming  and  howling  after  the  gold-maker. 

Surely,  I  thought,  Congress  will  go  down  on  its 
knees  before  me,  and  I  shall- save  the  country. 

At  Washington  it  took  a  corps  of  twenty  police 
men  to  fight  a  way  for  me  through  the  dense  mob, 
many  acres  in  extent,  which  assembled  at  the  depot. 
I  lost  my  hat  in  the  melee,  and  it  was  instantly  torn 
into  a  thousand  shreds,  and  distributed  among  the 
multitude  as  sacred  relics.  The  possessors,  like  the 
men  who  had  a  single  hair  from  Julius  Caesar's  head, 

"Would  dying  mention  it  within  their  will ; 
Bequeathing  it,  as  a-  rich  legacy, 
Unto  their  issue. " 

For  what  was  Julius  Cassar,  and  all  his  conquests, 
compared  with  a  man  who  could  make  gold ! 


124  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

I  dined  with,  the  President  at  the  White  House — 
a  state  dinner  in  my  honor;  one  of  those  intellectual 
exhibitions  interrupted  by  food;  a  commingling  of 
the  "feed"  of  our  gluttonous  ancestors  with  the  liter 
ary  lyceum  and  debating  society  of  our  modern 
civilization;  neither  perfect  eating  nor  perfect  think 
ing,  but  an  incongruous  mixture  of  both;  belly  and 
brains  stirred  together  in  a  kind  of  uncomfortable 
suet  pudding. 

I  spoke  in  the  great  chamber  of  the  House  of 
Representatives.  Everything  that  was  talented  or 
brilliant  or  handsome  or  learned  in  the  Capitol  City 
was  present.  Every  inch  of  space  was  crammed  with 
people.  The  cheering  lasted  for  five  minutes  as  I 
rose.  I  make  some  extracts  from  the  short-hand  re 
port  which  appeared,  the  next  day,  in  the  Associated 
Press  dispatches: 

FELLOW -CITIZENS  :  I  come  to  speak  to  you,  as  the  law-mak 
ing  power,  about  the  welfare  of  the  people. 

No  higher  theme  could  occupy  you  or  me. 

The  Constitution  of  the  United  States  declares  the  "  welfare" 
of  the  people  to  be  one  of  the  supreme  purposes  for  which 
that  instrument  and  our  government  were  formed.  It  is,  in 
deed,  the  only  purpose  that  can  justify  the  existence  of  gov 
ernment  and  the  collection  of  taxes.  It  is  absurd  to  think 
that  any  intelligent  people  would  submit  to  the  limitations, 
restraints,  and  exactions  of  government  if  they  did  not  ex 
pect  to  receive  in  return  an  improvement  of  their  material 
condition.  Any  other  theory  implies  that  the  mass  of  man 
kind  are  fools ;  and  if  fools,  they  are  incapable  of  self-gov 
ernment  ;  and  if  this  be  so,  you  have  no  business  here  as  the 
representatives  of  a  conglomerate  array  of  incapable  people. 
[Laughter  and  applause.] 


I  APPEAL  TO   CONGRESS.  125 

In  the  old  times  men  carved,  out  of  wood  and  stone,  figures 
of  men,  and  called  them  gods,  and  prostrated  themselves  be 
fore  them,  and  worshipped  the  work  of  their  own  hands.  In 
modern  times  men  create  governments  for  the  good  of  man 
kind,  and  then  sacrifice  mankind  for  the  good  of  the  govern 
ments.  They  cannot  see  the  people  behind  the  tissue  of  arti 
cles  and  sections  and  provisos  of  the  Constitution ;  and  yet 
for  the  people  was  the  whole  thing  created.  This,  as  the 
great  poet  and  thinker  says,  "  is  to  make  the  worship  greater 
than  the  god. "  This  is  to  make  the  clothes  greater  than  the 
man  ;  the  casket  more  valuable  than  the  gem  ;  the  body  more 
important  than  the  soul ;  the  universe  mightier  than  its 
Creator.  [Applause.  ] 

Statutes,  ordinances,  customs ;  banks,  bonds,  money ;  be 
liefs,  theories,  religions ;  philosophies,  dogmas,  and  doctrines, 
are  only  valuable  as  they  conserve  the  happiness  of  mankind. 
Whenever  they  conflict  with  it,  they  must  fall  to  the  ground. 
Man  is  the  only  thing  worth  considering  in  this  great  world. 
He  is  the  climax  of  the  creative  force  ;  the  ultimate  object  for 
which  this  planet  was  made ;  a  little  god  working  out  the 
purposes  of  the  great  God.  To  set  up  anything — any  device 
or  invention  of  man,  any  belief  or  form  or  theory,  statute 
or  custom,  against  the  welfare,  happiness,  development,  of 
man — is  a  species  of  horrible  blasphemy  against  the  Ever 
lasting  One,  whose  child  and  instrument  man  is.  Every 
cruelty  to  man  thrills  and  shocks  the  universe,  and  all  the 
angels  in  Heaven  weep  over  his  miseries.  The  injustice  of 
the  human  creature  to  his  fellow  is  the  one  unforgivable  sin, 
for  which  a  hundred  hells  of  remorse  exist  throughout  the 
incalculable  ages.  [Cheers.  ] 

Is  man  happy  under  this  American  government?    No. 

I  need  not  enter  into  statistics.  Every  newspaper  abounds 
with  them.  You  all  know  that  cunning  has  thriven  while 
toil  has  starved.  To  those  that  had,  has  been  given  ;  while 
from  those  who  had  not,  has  been  taken  away  even  that 
little  which  they  had.  A  flood  of  debt,  as  huge  as  that  of 
water  in  which  Noah  floated,  covers  the  whole  land.  If  the 
downpour  is  not  stopped,  it  will  soon  stand  fathoms  deep 
over  the  highest  mountain-peaks  of  human  endeavor.  Al- 


126  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

ready  millions  of  our  noblest  workers  have  been  swept  from 
the  face  of  the  land  and  their  possessions  given  to  strangers. 
A  mighty  transformation  has  taken  place  in  the  last  quarter 
of  a  century.  The  country  is  becoming  unfit  to  sustain  a  re 
public,  and  busy  mites  are  at  work  laying  the  foundations  of 
despotism.  The  yeomanry  are  disappearing,  as  they  long 
ago  disappeared  from  the  face  of  Europe.  Goldwin  Smith 
said  during  our  Civil  War :  "  Where  are  now  the  yeomanry 
of  England?  Where  are  now  the  small  holders  of  land  who 
at  Naseby  and  Marston  Moor,  under  the  lead  of  Cromwell, 
struck  conquering  blows  for  liberty,  and  brought  the  head  of 
a  king  to  the  block?  Gone — gone  from  England  forever. 
Seek  out  their  posterity.  Where  are  they?  On  the  plains  of 
America,  in  the  valley  of  the  Mississippi,  marching  under 
the  banners  of  Grant  and  Sherman. "  [Applause.  ] 

Where  are  those  soldiers  now?  A  large  part  of  them  are  al 
ready  obliterated  from  the  face  of  the  land  they  defended ; 
together  with  the  other  gallant  men  who  fought  under  Lee 
and  Stonewall  Jackson  ;  while  the  rest  stand  knee-deep  or 
waist-deep,  watching  the  steady  rise  of  the  black  and  dread 
ful  waters  of  misfortune  that  will  soon  rise  to  their  lips,  and 
sweep  them  into  the  abyss.  [Cheers.] 

And  when  swept  off  their  homes,  where  are  these  yeomen 
to  go?  Where  are  their  children  to  go?  Are  there  any  more 
Americas  for  a  new  Columbus  to  discover?  No  ;  this  is  the 
last  camping-ground  of  the  human  family.  Beyond  the 
Pacific  are  the  densely  peopled  lands  of  the  Orient — China, 
Japan,  India — already  supporting  all  the  population  they  can 
maintain.  The  waves  of  migration,  which  started  ten 
thouands  years  ago  from  Atlantis,  have  reached  their  last 
limits  of  expansion,  east  and  west.  To  yield  up  the  land  now 
is  to  yield  up  everything ;  to  fail  now  is  to  fail  for  eter 
nity.  We  stand  at  the  parting  of  the  ways.  From  this 
eminence  we  can  behold  the  future.  Shall  our  posterity  be 
freemen  or  slaves?  Shall  they  be  civilized,  cultured  denizens 
of  a  happy  earth,  where  all  forces  are  conjoined  for  the  good 
of  man  ;  or  shall  they  be  barbarian  toilers,  ruled  by  civilized 
masters  in  a  hell  of  unrequited  labor  and  injustice?  [Great 
applause.  ] 


I   APPEAL  TO   CONGRESS.  127 

We  boil  down  the  history  of  the  planet  into  this  one  ques 
tion  :  Shall  the  soil  of  the  earth  be  subdivided  among  the 
many,  or  shall  it  be  concentrated  in  the  hands  of  the  few? 
[Cheers.  J 

Once  lost  to  the  many,  it  can  never  be  regained  from  the 
few.  Once  lost,  there  goes  with  it  dignity,  prosperity,  hap 
piness,  independence,  civilization,  republican  institutions. 

Is  the  land  passing  from  the  many  to  the  few?  You  know 
it  is.  The  central  West  was  settled  mainly  by  bankrupt 
farmers  from  the  States  farther  east;  the  squeezed -out,  mort 
gage-ruined  farmers  of  the  central  West  have  poured  in  one 
great  flood  into  Nebraska,  the  Dakotas,  Wyoming,  etc.  And 
these  again,  under  the  same  pressure,  are  flooding  Utah, 
Montana,  Idaho,  and  the  Pacific  Coast.  Already  the  van 
guard  catches  sight  of  the  blue  waters  of  the  planet's  greatest 
ocean  ;  already,  like  buffaloes  urged  forward  to  the  yawning 
precipice,  they  look  back  over  their  shoulders  at  the  oncom 
ing  rush  of  the  dispossessed  millions,  swarming  behind  them. 
And  as  the  great  army  of  the  disappointed  and  the  unhappy 
thus  marches  forward  across  a  continent,  the  scattered  picket 
line  of  Capital  advances  silently,  and  takes  possession  of  the 
abandoned  homesteads,  and  the  great  Republic  is  transformed, 
lost,  ruined.  Where  sturdy  yeomanry  once  raised  stalwart 
boys  and  girls,  with  the  mettle  of  soldiers  and  heroines,  a 
cringing  tenantry  eats  its  bread  in  shame  and  submission. 
And  down  drops  in  rotting  silence  the  mighty  Republic,  like 
a  giant  that,  in  the  very  prime  of  manhood,  perishes  of  white 
and  scaly  leprosy,  shaking  the  dust  of  pestilence  athwart  the 
world,  with  every  movement  of  his  enfeebled  limbs.  [Cheers.  ] 

Will  you  stand  still,  O  men  and  brothers,  and  see  the 
noble  nation  perish — the  God-adorned,  the  illustrious,  the 
transendent  nation — the  foremost  glory  of  this  world — the 
poor  man's  nation,  the  yeoman's  republic,  founded  by  fishers 
and  ploughers  and  hunters,  by  men  in  homespun  and  deer 
skin  ?  [Cries  of  "  No,  no, "  and  great  cheering.  ]  Will  not 
those  old  bones — those  brawny,  giant  bones  of  heroes — rise 
from  their  graves,  from  Bunker  Hill  to  Cowpens,  with 
the  shreds  of  the  "  ragged  regimentals"  clinging  to  them,  and 
form  in  line,  their  rusty  weapons  in  hand,  to  defend  the  life 


128  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

of  the  Republic,  threatened  by  the  indifference  of  a  corrupt, 
degraded,  and  pigmy  age?  [Great  applause.] 

And  how  can  you  save  it? 

Keep  the  land  in  the  hands  of  the  many.     [Cheers.  ] 

Limit  the  amount  that  any  man  may  own.      [Cheers.] 

See  to  it  that  the  working-men  obtain  homes.  [Great 
cheers.  ] 

Use  the  poicers  of  government  for  the  good  of  the  governed. 
[Cheers.  ] 

Open  the  post-offices  as  savings  banks,  as  other  countries 
have  done.  There  is  little  difference  between  depositing  fifty 
dollars,  as  we  do  now,  in  a  post-office,  and  receiving  an  order 
payable  at  any  other  post-office,  and  depositing  that  same 
fifty  dollars  and  receiving  a  government  agreement  to  repay 
that  sum  any  time  after  thirty  days,  at  any  post-office  in  the 
United  States,  with  two  per  cent  per  annum  interest  added. 
[Great  applause.] 

There  are  now  one  billion  and  a  half  dollars  in  the  savings 
banks  of  this  country.  Do  this,  and  every  dollar  of  it 
would  in  a  short  time  be  deposited  in  the  post-offices,  with 
billions  more  which  the  people  do  not  dare  to  trust  to  the 
banks,  but  have  hidden  away  or  buried  in  the  earth. 

But  what  will  the  government  do  with  all  this  vast  sum, 
many  times  larger  than  our  whole  national  debt?  The  an 
swer  is  plain.  Lend  it  out  to  the  farmers  and  working-men 
on  real-estate  security,  at  two  per  cent  per  annum,  to  enable 
them  to  save  or  obtain  homes ;  to  break  the  backs  of  the 
usurers,  and  prevent  the  transformation  of  this  country  from 
a  republic  into  a  despotism.  [Tremendous  applause.] 

Nay,  go  farther.  Issue  paper  currency,  legal-tender,  to 
the  amount  of  fifty  dollars  per  capita.  [Immense  applause.  ] 
Man  is  now  a  "  drug, "  and  money  is  a  god.  Let  us  reverse  it. 
Let  us  make  money  a  "drug"  and  man  a  god.  [Great  cheer 
ing.]  Money  was  invented  for  man's  use.  Man  was  not 
created  for  money's  use.  [Applause.]  One  farmer  who 
raises  a  hundred  bushels  of  wheat,  or  a  bale  of  cotton ;  or  one 
mechanic  who  turns  ten  dollars'  worth  of  steel  into  a  thou 
sand  dollars  of  manufactures,  has  done  more  for  mankind 
than  all  Wall  Street.  [Great  applause.]  He  has  added 


I  APPEAL  TO   CONGRESS.  129 

something  to  the  real  wealth  of  the  world — something  to  eat, 
something  to  wear,  something  to  use — while  Wall  Street  has 
produced  nothing  but  ruin.  Lock  up  a  hundred  bankers  in  a 
cellar  without  food  ;  give  them  all  the  gold  of  Threadneedle 
Street ;  and  come  back  in  a  week,  and  they  will  look  like  the 
remains  of  a  Greely  expedition  to  the  North  Pole — a  ghastly 
array  of  picked  bones  and  starving  maniacs.  [Great  laughter 
and  applause.  ]  Ask  the  survivors  what  real  wealth  is,  and 
they  will  tell  you  that  they  would  exchange  Golconda  for  a 
loaf  of  bread.  Oh,  the  sin  and  shame  of  it,  that  the  real 
producers  of  real  wealth  are  crushed  and  degraded  by  the 
possessors  of  a  couple  of  metals,  with  scarcely  any  intrinsic 
value,  but  rendered  sacred  by  a  prehistoric  superstition.  They 
have  stolen  the  "'  measures  of  value, "  and  converted  them  into 
beasts,  that  breed  faster  than  any  creature  that  God  ever 
made.  [Great  applause.  ] 

The  whole  thing  is  wrong.  Barbarian  man  had  no  money  : 
he  knew  nothing  but  "  barter. "  He  swapped  an  arrow-head 
for  an  orange  ;  a  sea-shell  ornament  for  a  piece  of  venison. 
It  was  religion  that  rendered  gold  and  silver  valuable  by 
making  them  sacred,  dedicating  them  to  the  worship  of  the 
sun  and  moon.  The  yellow  metal  was  consecrated  to  the 
yellow  god  of  day ;  the  white  metal  to  the  pale  mistress  of 
the  night.  They  were  in  demand  on  all  barbaric  and  civi 
lized  coasts,  and  therefore  exchangeable  for,  all  things  valuable 
to  man.  Hence  they  became  money.  But  it  was  still  and  is 
yet  merely  a  kind  of  barter.  It  is  easier  to  handle  one 
hundred  dollars'  worth  of  these  compact  metals  than  the 
same  value  of  wheat  or  meat  or  cattle.  And  so  to  this  hour 
the  world's  commerce  is  based  on  a  swapping  of  commodi 
ties  ;  the  religious,  metallic,  prehistoric  emblems  for  those 
itiings  that  man  has  to  eat  or  wear  or  use,  and  which  are 
therefore  real  wealth.  Let  two  men  be  shipwrecked  on  a 
desert  island,  one  with  a  bag  of  gold  and  the  other  with  a 
bag  of  flour.  In  forty- eight  hours  the  possessor  of  the  gold 
would  realize  its  purely  artificial,  conventional  character ; 
its  utter  uselessness  to  man  in  a  state  of  nature  ;  and  would 
be  willing  to  swap  his  whole  wealth  for  a  "square  meal"  out 
of  the  other  man's  sack.  [Great  laughter  and  applause.] 


130  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

Supreme  hunger  would  dissolve  the  prehistoric,  religious 
traditions  of  the  sun  and  moon  worship,  into  the  thinnest  of 
thin  air.  [Cheers.] 

Let  us  get  clear  of  all  this  nonsense.  Let  us  relegate  the  wor 
ship  of  gold  and  silver  to  the  region  of  witchcraft  and  spooks, 
and  all  the  other  trash  of  the  under-fed,  undeveloped  past. 
Let  us  establish  several  propositions  : 

1.  That  real  money  is  not  a  commodity,  but  a  governmental 
measure  of  values,  to  facilitate  the  exchange  of  commodities. 

2.  That  the  government  must  furnish   its  people  with  an 
adequate  supply  of  this  medium  of  exchange,  just  as  it  is  in 
duty  bound  to  furnish  them  with  an  adequate  supply  of  post 
age  stamps. 

3.  That  this  medium  should  bear  the  government  stamp 
and  be  full  legal-tender  for  all  debts  public  and   private ; 
otherwise  it  is  not  money,  but  disqualified  rubbish. 

4.  That  it  should  be  made  of  the  cheapest  and  lightest 
material,  with  a  reasonable  degree  of  durability  ;  and  these 
qualities  we  find  in  paper. 

5.  That  it  should  be  so  abundant  as  to  enable  the  commu 
nity  to  do  business  on  a  cash  basis,  and  not  pay  interest  on 
the  bulk  of  its  transactions. 

Think  of  postage  stamps  being  so  scarce  that  we  could  not 
obtain  them  except  by  buying  them  from  the  bank  at  an  in 
creased  price.  And  the  fewer  there  were  of  them  the  higher 
the  price  would  go ;  communication  between  the  people 
would  be  interrupted,  and  finally  a  man  would  have  to 
mortgage  a  cow  to  get  a  dollar's  worth  of  postage  stamps. 
Then  imagine  the  banks  corrupting  Congress  to  maintain 
their  monopoly,  and  you  will  have  a  pretty  fair  conception  of 
our  present  financial  slavery.  [Applause.  J 

Look  at  the  effects  of  a  cheap  and  abundant  currency  in 
the  county  of  Butler,  Kansas  [Tremendous  cheering.]  See 
how  prosperity  and  the  beauty  of  human  life  and  the  glory 
of  industry  have  been  restored  to  that  people.  [Applause.] 
See  how  vice  has  been  reduced  to  a  minimum.  [Applause.] 
But  that  county  is  only  an  island  of  happiness  in  the  midst 
of  an  ocean  of  misery,  which  will  soon  rise  and  overwhelm 
it.  Poverty  is  a  pestilence  which  has  no  respect  for  national, 


I  APPEAL   TO   CONGRESS.  131 

state,  or  county  lines.  It  moves  upon  the  air  until  it  reduces 
all  things  to  its  own  level.  To  relieve  the  county  we  must 
lift  up  the  state  ;  to  give  prosperity  to  the  state  we  must  see 
to  it  that  justice  is  done  in  the  nation ;  to  permanently  help 
the  nation  we  must  strike  down  the  robbery  of  mankind  in  all 
the  lands  of  the  earth.  [Tremendous  cheering,  long  con 
tinued.  J 

The  nation  must  do  for  all  Kansas  and  for  all  the  states 
and  for  all  the  world  ivliat  I  have  done  for  Butler  County, 
Kansas.  [Applause.  ] 

And  what  a  splendid  prospect  unrolls  before  before  my 
eyes !  A  whole  nation  prosperous ;  happy,  laughing  faces 
looking  out  from  the  Atlantic  coast  as  the  sun  rises  over  the 
fisher's  boats ;  laughing  faces  looking  out  over  the  Pacific 
as  the  golden  rays  of  sunset  flash  from  the  bosom  of  the 
dancing  waters.  [Cheers.]  In  all  the  plains  and  valleys, 
on  all  the  hills  and  mountains,  prosperity,  happiness  ;  money 
a  drug  and  man  glorified  and  glorious ;  while  art,  religion, 
literature,  science,  rise  triumphant,  splendid,  from  the  ashes 
of  a  land  but  yesterday  enslaved  and  ruined.  [Great  cheer 
ing.] 

And  you — ye  law-makers — why  do  ye  not  do  this  thing? 
What  is  it  restrains  you?  You  are  the  people,  and  the  people 
are  supreme.  Why  should  they  hesitate  to  give  themselves 
universal  prosperity?  What  old-world  theory,  what  interest 
of  a  class,  can  stand  in  the  way  of  the  happiness  of  the 
people  and  the  preservation  of  the  Republic?  The  people 
pay  you  your  salaries ;  they  hire  you  to  make  laws  for 
their  benefit,  not  for  the  benefit  of  any  class  that  preys  upon 
them.  You  are  sworn  to  support  the  Constitution  of  the 
United  States,  and  that  Constitution  declares  that  its  object 
is  "to  promote  the  general  welfare."  [Tremendous  cheering.] 
Go  forward  !  Use  the  unparalleled  power  which  God  and  the 
nation's  battle-fields  have  placed  in  your  hands  for  the  good 
of  mankind. 

At  the  end  of  this  speech  the  audience  went  wild. 
I  had  a  perfect  ovation.     I  returned  to  nry  hotel  ac- 


132  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

companied  by  a  swarming  multitude  of  friends  and 
admirers,  and  happy  in  the  belief  that  I  had  con 
verted  Congress,  and  that  laws  would  be  at  once 
passed  to  accomplish  the  reforms  I  had  demanded. 

Ah!  little  did  I  realize  that  Plutocracy  was  not  yet 
conquered ;  that  it  held  all  popular  convictions,  up 
roars,  excitements,  in  contempt;  and  that  it  possessed 
weapons  in  its  great  .armory  of  which  the  common 
people  knew  nothing. 


CHAPTEE  XVIII. 

HOW    PLUTOCRACY    WORKED. 

WHILE  I  smiled  and  exulted  the  conspirators  were 
at  work. 

The  first  symptom  was  that  the  great  newspapers 
reported  my  speech  without  any  comments. 

But  in  a  day  or  two  the  New  York  journals  gave 
the  clew  for  the  country  press.  Democratic  and  Ee- 
publican  sheets  sang  the  same  song  and  told  the 
same  story  in  every  part  of  the  Union.  It  was  a 
Hydra  with  ten  thousand  mouths  and  only  one  voice. 

"It  would  take  three  billion  dollars  of  currency 
to  carry  out  my  ideas ;  the  faith  and  credit  of  the 
nation  would  not  uphold  so  vast  a  sum,"  they  cried 
in  unison. 

I  replied  by  asking  the  question,  whether  the 
faith  and  credit  of  the  nation  were  not  equal  to  the 
task  of  upholding  three  billion  dollars  of  national 
bonds  at  par?  Would  not  the  world  buy  them  up 
at  once,  if  offered  for  sale?  Did  not  the  industry  of 
the  people  uphold  the  value  of  five  billion  dollars  of 
watered  stock  of  railroad  companies,  which  did  not 
represent  one  dollar  of  actual  capital  ever  invested, 
or  that  ever  would  be  invested ;  and  yet  the  toil  of 

133 


134  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

the  people  paid  the  interest  on  all  that  vast  sum,  with 
out  the  slightest  hope  of  any  equivalent?  Did  not 
the  watered  stock  on  railroads,  telegraphs,  mills,  etc. , 
amount  to  thirteen  billions/  Did  not  the  industry  of 
our  people,  besides  these  terrible  and  unjust  burdens, 
pay  the  interest  on  many  other  billions  of  individual 
indebtedness? 

But  the  newspapers  replied: 

"The  government  notes  would  fall  in  price  to 
fifty  cents  on  the  dollar.  There  can  scarcely  be  a 
surplus  of  bonds;  the  capacity  of  the  population  to 
pay  interest  is  the  sole  limit  of  credit  in  that  direc 
tion;  but  if  you  put  out  more  money  than  the  bus 
iness  of  the  country  demands  it  must  fall  in  value." 

To  this  I  replied: 

"Then  let  us  create  a  system  of  interchangeable 
bonds  and  currency.  Whenever  the  paper  money 
falls  below  its  face  value,  give  the  holder  of  a  thou 
sand  dollars  the  right  to  exchange  it  for  a  thousand 
dollar  bond,  bearing  one  per  cent  interest,  payable 
at  the  option  of  the  government,  at  any  time,  in 
legal  tender  notes.  If,  then,  the  credit  of  the  nation 
is  sufficient  to  uphold  a  bond  while  it  will  not  uphold 
a  bank  note,  the  bond  will  sustain  the  note,  if  they 
are  interchangeable.  And  what  the  government  will 
lose  in  interest  on  the  bonds,  for  a  year  or  two,  will 
be  more  than  made  up  by  the  resulting  prosperity  of 
the  whole  people,  and  their  increased  capacity  to  pay 
more  taxes  to  meet  that  interest. 

"  If  the  bonds  and  notes  are  of  the  same  value,  there 


HOW   PLUTOCRACY   WORKED.  135 

will  be  no  inducement  to  exchange  the  notes  for 
bonds.  If  there  are  some  who  have  no  immediate 
use  for  their  $1,000,  and  desire  to  put  it  into  a  bond 
so  as  to  get  the  $10  on  it  at  the  end  of  the  year, 
there  will  be  others  who  will  need  money  in  their 
business,  and  they  will  turn  their  bonds  into  cur 
rency.  And  the  government  can  prevent  a  great 
accumulation  of  bonded  debt  by  taking  up  the  bonds 
by  new  issues  of.  currency.  It  is  nonsense  to  suppose 
that  a  great  and  ingenious  people  cannot  invent  some 
system  that  will  keep  their  paper  money  at  par. 

"  Nor  will  it  do  to  say  that  the  business  of  the 
country  will  not  absorb  fifty  dollars  per  capita.  We 
are  increasing  in  population  at  the  rate  of  nearly  one- 
third  every  ten  years;  the  coat  that  is  too  big  for  a 
boy  will  be  just  large  enough  for  that  boy  grown  into 
a  man ;  the  amount  of  currency  that  may  not  be  de 
manded  by  the  business  necessities  of  sixty-five 
million  people,  will  be  all  required  in  ten  years  by 
eighty-four  million  people.  Moreover,  the  amount  of 
currency  demanded  is  not  to  be  estimated  upon  the 
basis  of  population,  but  of  enterprise,  activity,  wealth. 
A  Eussian  village  of  peasants,  living  at  a  cost  of 
seventy  cents  per  month,  will  not  need  one-thousandth 
part  of  the  currency  demanded  by  the  people  of  a 
rushing,  growing,  pushing,  western  American  city. 

"  Neither  must  it  be  forgotten  that  all  new  issues 
of  statecraft  must  be  treated  tentatively.  We  have 
never  before  had,  in  the  history  of  the  world,  just 
such  conditions  as  surround  us  now.  Never  has  such 


136  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

a  vast  population,  so  highly  civilized,  been  rapidly 
expanded  under  one  government,  with  all  the  ap 
pliances  of  the  highest  social  development,  over  a 
continent.  Old-world  forms,  beliefs,  and  theories 
cannot  apply  to  us.  Our  gold  and  silver  money  has 
been  inherited  by  us  as  we  inherited  the  belief  in 
witchcraft  and  sorcery.  As  a  form  of  barter  those 
metals  were  well  enough  for  small  subdivisions  of 
misgoverned  country,  where  the  condition  of  the 
people  was  wretched  enough  at  the  best.  But  here 
we  are  with  a  world  to  provide  for.  The  child  is 
born  that  will  live  to  see  this  nation  possessed  of  two 
hundred  and  fifty  millions  of  population,  with  an  in 
credible  amount  of  wealth ;  vaster,  probably,  than  that 
of  all  Europe  and  all  the  Orient  to-day.  It  is  ab 
surd  to  suppose  that  the  business  of  such  a  tremendous 
nation  can  be  permanently  tied  to  the  apron-strings  of 
two  metals,  gold  and  silver;  whose  supply  is  dimin 
ishing  relatively  to  population,  and  may  utterly  cease 
in  a  few  years,  and  we  go  to  destruction,  just  as 
Eoman  civilization  broke  down  from  the  exhaustion 
of  the  mines  of  Spain.  God  never  intended  that 
mankind,  with  all  its  vast  capacity  for  expansion  and 
evolution  upward,  should  continue  forever  the  bond 
slave  of  two  out  of  many  hundred  metals,  simply  be 
cause  some  dead-and-gone  priesthood,  in  the  remote 
backward  abysm  and  gulf  of  prehistoric  time,  by 
some  accident  associated  those  metals  with  their  be 
lief  that  the  sun  and  moon  were  living  gods,  and  the 
creators  of  all  things  terrestrial  and  celestial.  It 


HOW   PLUTOCRACY   WORKED.  137 

would  be  the  sheerest  and  shallowest  bigotry  and  a 
disgrace  to  the  intelligence  of  civilized  man,  who  has 
outgrown  so  many  other  of  the  senseless  superstitions 
of  his  ancestors. 

"We  must  dissociate  from  the  governmental  meas 
ure  of  values,  from  the  yard-stick  of  prices,  employed 
to  facilitate  the  exchange  of  those  commodities  which 
are  useful  to  man  (and  those  and  those  alone  consti 
tute  real  wealth),  the  accidental,  traditional,  and  con 
ventional  value  given  to  these  two  metals,  gold  and 
silver,  which  in  themselves  have  very  little  real  value. 
We  must  divorce  the  new  civilization  from  the  old 
superstition.  We  must  separate  fiat  from  commodity. 
We  must  use  the  power  of  the  aggregated  commu 
nity,  which  we  call  government,  and  which  is  the 
greatest  power  on  earth,  to  furnish  a  medium  of  ex 
change,  to  enable  the  people  to  swap  what  they  pro 
duce  with  one  another;  without  a  man,  for  instance, 
who  trades  off  a  bullock  for  dry  goods,  groceries, 
books  and  hardware,  being  compelled  to  cut  up  the 
animal  into  bits,  and  give  each  dealer  a  subdivision 
of  it. 

"But  in  issuing  governmental  money  in  large 
quantities,  we  should  proceed,  as  I  say,  tentatively. 
We  should  feel  our  way,  as  an  elephant  crosses  a 
bridge;  advancing  only  so  fast  as  we  can  advance 
with  safety;  taking  into  consideration  not  only  the 
existing  conditions  which  surround  us,  but  that  very 
potent  factor,  only  to  be  obliterated  by  experience, 
the  prejudices  of  mankind.  We  can  decide  in  ad- 


138  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

vance  what  direction  we  will  travel  in,  but  we  must 
leave  it  to  the  condition  of  the  road  to  determine  how 
fast  we  shall  advance.  We  will  finally  reach  the  goal 
if  we  continue  to  go  forward,  if  we  do  not  precipitate 
ourselves  into  the  swamps  of  rashness  and  inexperi 
ence.  But  we  must  furnish  this  mighty  population, 
and  the  still  mightier  populations  that  are  to  come 
after  us,  a  medium  of  exchange  that  can  be  expanded 
pari  passu  with  the  growth  of  population,  wealth,  and 
business  of  the  whole  country.  Gold  and  silver  will 
not  answer  our  purpose.  Civilization  has  only  been 
maintained  by  the  invention  of  paper  money.  Ex 
perience  may  show  that  we  have  already  opened  the 
last  gold  and  silver  mines  on  the  planet.  The  Mo 
hammedans  have  a  fast  which  extends  from  sunrise 
to  sunset.  But  if  they  were  transplanted  to  the 
Arctic  circle,  where  the  day  is  six  months  long,  they 
would  either  have  to  give  up  their  superstition  or 
their  lives.  The  Koran  did  not  contemplate  the 
possibility  of  such  geographical  conditions.  The 
petty  nations  of  Europe,  of  the  past,  half  hinds  and 
half  brutes,  with  a  commerce  scarcely  distinguishable 
from  piracy,  when  they  made  the  sacred  metals  of  a 
still  more  remote  antiquity  their  precious  metals,  and 
used  them  for  money,  did  not  f orsee  this  vast  America, 
where  more  business  is  transacted  in  a  year  than  they 
knew  of  in  many  centuries;  and  which  is  occupied 
by  a  people  so  intelligent  that  the  poorest  workman 
knows  more  than  did  their  emperors  and  clergymen. 
We  must  expand  our  thoughts  to  the  measure  of  our 


HOW  PLUTOCRACY   WORKED.  139 

greatness.  We  must  turn  our  faces  to  the  future,  not 
to  the  past." 

Of  course  these  utterances  of  mine  were  greedily 
snatched  up  by  the  reporters  and  published  in  all  the 
papers. 

The  chorus  of  newspapers  replied  by  talking  of 
the  French  assignats,  the  American  continental  shin- 
plasters,  etc. 

I  replied  that  the  conditions  of  the  American  peo 
ple  to-day  were  vastly  different  from  those  of  the  na 
tions  referred  to.  "  Who  would  compare  the  French 
people,  unaccustomed  to  self-government,  rising 
blood-boltered  from  its  terrible  battle  with  feudalism, 
to  this  august,  peaceful,  long-established  nation,  with 
whom  republican  institutions  are  an  instinct,  and  an 
established  and  undoubted  fact?  Who  would  in 
stitute  a  parallel  between  the  three  or  four  millions  of 
poor  colonists,  stretched  along  tide-water  on  our  At 
lantic  coast,  repudiating  the  price  of  their  victory 
because  of  their  very  necessities  and  miseries,  and 
this  majestic  nation,  soon  to  hold  one  hundred  million 
inhabitants?" 

But  the  chorus  replied  that  abundant  currency 
was  simply  a  stepping-stone  to  land  loans,  for  in  no 
other  way  could  the  money  be  gotten  out  among  the 
people,  for  existing  revenues  were  adequate  for  all 
the  expenses  of  the  nation. 

"And  why  not?"  I  answered.  "What  were  the 
national  bank  notes,  but  a  loan  of  government  paper 
on  the  security  of  government  bonds?  When  the 


140  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

system  was  established  it  was  upon  the  ground  that 
the  credit  of  the  national  government,  engaged  in  a 
terrible  civil  war  of  which  no  man  could  foresee  the 
outcome,  was  not  strong  enough  to  float  government 
money,  but  the  credit  of  the  nation  must  be  sup 
plemented  by  the  credit  of  rich  men  in  every  town  and 
city.  This  was  the  theory.  But  that  condition  has 
long  since  passed  away.  This  nation  to-day  needs 
no  indorser.  Now  the  national  banker  is  practically 
a  borrower  from  the  government.  He  deposits  one 
hundred  thousand  dollars  of  bonds  with  the  treasurer 
of  the  United  States,  and  the  treasurer  lends  him 
ninety  thousand  dollars  of  notes,  free  of  all  charge, 
(except  his  share  of  the  taxes  which  all  must  pay) ; 
the  government  prints  the  notes  and  hands  them  out 
to  him,  and  the  banker  takes  them  home  and  lends 
them  out;  and  most  of  them  are  soon  loaned  out  on 
land,  at  high  rates  of  interest;  or  loaned  to  merchants 
who  depend  upon  the  farms  of  the  people  for  that 
production  of  real  wealth  that  will  enable  them  to 
carry  on  business.  For  every  one  knows  that  every 
thing  in  this  world  comes  from  the  land :  food,  clothes, 
tools,  ores,  fuel,  houses,  everything.  There  isn't 
anything  real  and  abiding  but  the  planet  itself,  and 
therefore  its  surface  is  called  real  estate. 

"  If  the  land  is  sufficient  security  for  the  loan  of  those 
government  notes  in  the  hands  of  the  banker,  why 
should  it  not  be  sufficient  security  for  those  notes  with 
out  passing  through  the  hands  of  the  banker?  We 
have  three  elements:  government,  banker,  land. 


HOW  PLUTOCRACY    WORKED.  141 

Which  are  the  most  important?  Wipe  out  the  mid 
dle  element,  is  not  everything  substantial  left:  govern 
ment  and  land?  Is  there  anything  in  the  world  more 
tangible  and  actual  than  government  and  land?  The 
one  can  take  your  life,  and  the  other  you  cannot  live 
without.  Wherein  is  the  banker  essential  to  govern 
ment  or  the  planet? 

"  But  the  banker  protests  vigorously  against  being 
eliminated  in  that  way;  against  being  suspended  in 
mid- air,  like  Mahomet's  coffin,  unattached  to  either 
government  or  the  planet.  And  his  kickings  and 
strugglings,  to  hold  on  to  the  government  with  one 
hand  and  the  planet  with  the  other,  constitutes  a 
large  part  of  what  we  call  old-party  politics.  It  is 
for  these  objects  that  conventions  assemble,  elections 
are  held,  and  congresses  are  corrupted." 

"But,"  cried  the  newspapers,  "you  would  debase 
the  currency  of  the  country!" 

"Not  necessarily,"  I  replied,  "we  would,  by  care 
ful  experimentation,  determine  what  volume  of  the 
currency  of  a  country  could  be  kept  at  par  by  the 
taxes  that  are  payable  in  that  currency.  In  other 
words,  as  the  banker  by  keeping  in  his  vaults  one 
dollar  of  specie  is  able  to  maintain  three  dollars  of  his 
paper  at  par,  can  a  nation  issue  three  times  as  much 
currency  as  the  amount  to  be  paid  annually  in  taxes, 
state,  county,  city  and  national?  If  this  be  so,  can 
it  issue  six  times  as  much;  can  it  issue  ten  times  as 
much  ?  These  are  questions  that  are  only  to  be  set 
tled  in  the  arena  of  actual  experience. 


142  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

"But  if  there  is  any  risk  of  a  debased  currency, 
which,  I  would  ask,  is  the  greatest  national  calamity 
— a  debased  currency  or  a  debased  people?  We  were 
the  most  prosperous  nation  in  the  world,  immediately 
after  the  Civil  War,  with  gold  at  a  large  premium. 
As  our  currency  rose,  our  people  went  down.  But 
we  cannot  maintain  republican  institutions  among 
a  debased  people.  When  the  land  is  all  concentrated 
in  the  hands  of  the  few,  a  standing  army  will  be 
needed  to  keep  the  discontented  serfs  in  subjection; 
and  a  king  will  be  needed  to  command  the  standing 
army;  and  a  nobility  to  sustain  the  king;  and  Amer 
ica  becomes  Europe.  Joshua,  we  are  told,  made  the 
sun  stand  still;  our  new  Joshua,  the  money  power, 
will  send  the  sun  rushing  backward,  while  all  the  solar 
system  goes  howling  to  destruction.  The  last  census 
shows  that  nearly  one-fourth  the  farmers  of  the  United 
States  are  already  tenants;  the  whole  number  of 
cultivators  of  the  soil  is  4,225,955,  and  of  these 
1,024,701  are  renters.  In  1850  the  farmers  of  the 
United  States  owned  five-eighths  of  the  total  wealth 
of  the  nation;  in  1860  they  owned  less  than  one-half; 
in  1870  a  little  over  one-third;  in  1880  a  little  over 
one-fourth ;  in  1890  less  than  one-fifth  !  WHAT  WILL 
BE  THEIR  SHARE  IN  1900?  Answer  that  terrible 
question. 

"Which  is  more  important — Wall  Street  or  the 
nation;  the  money  of  the  country  or  the  people  of 
the  country;  a  financial  theory  or  mankind? 


HOW  PLUTOCRACY  WORKED.  143 

"Which  should  we  build  up — the  few  or  the 
many? 

"  Are  not  the  people  of  more  importance  than  con 
tinent  or  constitution?  God  made  the  planet  for  the 
people,  not  the  people  for  the  money-lenders.  To 
stand  still  and  see  the  people  reduced  to  serfdom 
would  be  a  crime  against  God  and  man.  Better  that 
all  the  gold  and  silver  in  the  world  should  perish  than 
that  the  nation  should  die;  better  that  we  should  go 
back  to  primeval  barter,  without  a  dollar  of  money 
of  any  kind,  than  see  God's  children  wiped  off  the 
face  of  God's  planet.  Ancient  Mexico  maintained  a 
high  civilization  without  a  particle  of  money.  If 
driven  to  the  dreadful  alternative  of  losing  liberty 
and  prosperity  or  metallic  money,  no  sane  man  can 
doubt  which  the  nation  should  choose.  It  is  the 
curse  of  the  world  that  mankind  has  been  ruled  for 
centuries  by  money,  in  the  interest  of  money;  not  by 
the  people  in  the  interest  of  the  people.  We  live 
only  half-way  in  the  present.  The  age  is  like  a  rep 
tile  whose  head  projects,  lifted  and  gasping,  out  of 
the  carbonic  acid  gas;  but  its  nether  limbs  are  yet  im 
bedded  in  the  thick  mud  of  the  Silurian  period. 
Man  has  all  antiquity  sitting  on  his  coat-tails,  and 
his  hardest  task  is  to  go  forward;  he  wades,  waist- 
deep,  in  the  obstruction  of  his  own  prejudices  and 
bigotries.  The  noble,  God -given  light  of  intelligence 
is  shut  up  in  a  boy's  carved  calabash-lantern,  and 
casts  only  grotesque  and  hideous  figures  on  the  mud; 
while  the  hard  grass-grown  paths  of  original  thought 


144  THE    GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

stretch  before  him  unheeded.  Man  rarely  asks,  What 
is  it  possible  for  me  to  do?  But  his  inquiry  always 
is — What  have  my  predecessors  done?" 

"But,"  said  another,  "why  all  this  clamor  for  an 
abundant  currency?  What  difference  does  it  make? 
Suppose  money  was  so  scarce  that  fifty  cents  paid 
a  man's  wages,  instead  of  one  dollar.  What  differ 
ence  would  that  make  to  the  workman,  if  everything 
else  in  the  world  was  reduced  one-half  in  price?" 

"That  is  plausible,"  I  replied,  "but  let  us  apply 
the  reductio  ad  absurdum  to  it;  if  it  does  no  harm  to 
reduce  the  workman's  wages,  and  all  things  else,  from 
one  dollar  to  fifty  cents,  what  harm  would  it  do  to 
reduce  it  to  ten  cents,  or  one  cent;  or  to  utterly  wipe 
out  all  money?  But  while  the  money  is  rising  in 
purchasing  power  through  its  increasing  scarcity,  all 
forms  of  property  are  falling.  The  world  is  on  a 
'down-grade' — it  is  eventually  a  bankrupt  age. 
Every  shrinkage  of  volume  of  money  concentrates 
more  and  more  of  the  possessions  of  the  race  in  the 
hands  of  a  few;  and  we  gravitate  toward  the  con 
dition  of  Europe  in  the  Middle  Ages,  when  a  penny 
paid  a  man's  wages,  and  a  sheep  was  worth  twopence. 
The  human  mind  stood  still  for  hundreds  of  years, 
and  mankind  was  divided  into  but  two  classes — 
brutal  lords  and  still  more  brutal  serfs.  No,  no;  the 
world  does  not  want  to  travel  backward." 

I  thought  I  had  the  best  of  the  argument,  and  the 
people  thought  so  too.  But  the  Plutocracy  did  not 
depend  on  newspaper  articles.  Those  were  simply 


HOW   PLUTOCRACY  WORKED.  145 

the  ornamental  icing  of  the  cake ;  the  substantial  part 
of  the  pastry  was  below. 

The  House  passed  my  bill  with  a  great  hurrah  of 
popular  enthusiasm.  And  the  country  rejoiced. 

The  bill  went  to  the  Senate. 

A  double-barrelled  legislature  is  a  cunning  contriv 
ance.  The  object  being  to  prevent  government  by 
the  people,  two  chambers  give  two  chances;  that 
which  cannot  be  killed  in  one  branch  may  be  slaugh 
tered  in  the  other.  It  is  like  a  man  who,  having 
survived  the  ministrations  of  one  doctor  and  recov 
ered,  is  at  once  placed  in  the  hands  of  another  and 
dies.  Why  should  there  be  two  doctors? 

And,  then  there  being  a  possibility  'that  the  people 
may  enforce  their  demands  through  both  House  and 
Senate,  there  sits,  above  both,  a  king  called  a  Presi 
dent,  with  power  to  annul  the  action  of  both;  one 
man  who  knows  more  than  sixty  millions  of  people, 
of  whom  he  was  the  other  day  an  obscure  member. 

In  other  words,  the  people  is  a  horrible  monster 
which  must  be  chained  by  both  legs  and  neck. 

But,  lest  the  people  should  coerce  House,  Senate, 
and  President  to  do  something  against  the  moneyed 
aristocracy,  there  is  still  another  tribunal.  A  lot  of 
lawyers,  mainly  selected  by  the  great  corporations,  sit 
upon  a  bench,  with  old  women's  gowns  upon  them, 
with  power  to  nullify  House,  Senate,  President,  and 
people.  Oh,  it  is  a  beautiful  contrivance  to  arrest 
progress  and  shackle  liberty! 

Tom  Jefferson  foretold  that  the  Supreme  Court  of 
10 


146  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

the  United  States  would  eventually  absorb  into  their 
hands  all  the  power  of  the  nation.  They  are  rapidly 
doing  it,  and  doing  it  in  the  interest  of  the  moneyed 
aristocracy. 

After  the  poor  devil  the  people — the  outlaw,  the 
Pariah — has  struggled  through,  with  a  chain  on  his 
right  leg  and  .a  chain  on  his  left  leg,  and  another 
chain  around  his  neck,  and  reaches  the  foot  of  the 
judicial  throne,  and  lifts  his  hands  for  help  and  mercy, 
the  court  quietly  slices  his  head  off  with  a  technicality ; 
a  smooth,  swift,  shining  technicality;  derived,  per 
chance,  from  some  villanous,  ignorant  barbarian  who 
lived  in  England  several  hundred  years  ago. 

Great  is  the  Republic!  Mighty  is  the  self-govern 
ing  nation,  where  law  lives  and  the  people  perish! 
The  roaring,  struggling  lion,  helpless  in  the  net  of 
the  hunter,  with  not  even  a  mouse  to  nibble  him 
free.  Self-government,  like  a  homoeopathic  medicine, 
run  through  many  dilutions;  the  ten-thousandth  tri- 
turation  of  public  opinion,  after  the  press,  the  cor- 
ruptionists,  the  fools,  the  knaves,  the  House,  the 
Senate,  the  President,  and  the  Supreme  Court  have 
all  got  through  with  it. 

God  help  the  Republic!  Nothing  but  God  can 
get  it  out  of  its  present  scrape. 

A  Republic  based  on  the  conception  that  the  people 
rule;  are  fit  to  rule;  and  ought  to  rule;  with  a  gov 
ernment  which  prevents  the  people  from  ruling.  A 
non  sequiiur  •  liberty  with  despotism  in  its  belly;  the 
spirit  of  1776  with  a  worse  demon  than  old  George 


HOW  PLUTOCRACY  WORKED.  147 

III.  inside  of  it;  the  Declaration  of  Independence 
wrapped  up  in  "watered  stock;  "  George  Washington 
dead,  and  Jay  Gould  living!  God  help  us! 

But  while  I  philosophized  the  Plutocrats  were 
driving  my  calf  through  the  cow-yard  of  the  House 
into  the  corral  of  the  Senate — the  slaughter  pen.  And 
there  they  clapped  chloroform — called  a  committee — 
to  its  nose,  to  stop  any  bawling;  and  it  died  peace 
fully  and  graciously;  while  every  member  of  the 
Senate  was  in  favor  of  it!  ! 

Sixty-five  million  people  on  the  one  side  and  a  small 
gang  of  knaves  on  the  other — and  the  knaves  won. 


CHAPTER  XIX. 

I     GET     MAI). 

Now  I  was  mad.  Mad  all  through.  Mad  all 
over. 

I  had  not  that  amiable  American  frame  of  mind, 
the  product  of  our  high  civilization,  which  patiently 
submits  to  gross  injustice  and  looks  around,  with  a 
smile,  for  a  compensating  chance  to  steal  something. 
I  still  had  the  flavor  of  the  Kansas  mud  on  my  boots, 
and  in  my  soul.  I  was  not  fully  civilized ;  there  was 
a  good  deal  of  the  aboriginal  barbarian  left  in  my 
composition.  The  men  of  1776  had  not  emerged 
very  far  from  the  savage,  hunter  state;  and  so  they 
gave  us  a  nation  and  a  republic.  If  they  had  pos 
sessed  the  cultured  frame  of  our  minds  to-day,  they 
would  have  regarded  it  as  a  species  of  insanity  to 
think  of  going  to  war,  barefooted  and  in  rags,  for 
eight  years,  for  a  principle.  They  would  have  taken 
the  money  the  Revolution  cost  and  loaned  it  out  at 
high  rates  of  interest,  and  wiped  a  lot  of  poor  devils 
off  the  face  of  the  earth,  and  called  it  national  pros 
perity.  You  couldn't  have  dragged  them  away  from 
John  Bull  and  his  aristocracy  with  a  yoke  of  oxen. 
They  are  hungering  and  thirsting  now  to  get  back 

148 


I  GET  MAD.  149 

into  his  embrace.     They  would  rather  be  kicked  by 
a  duke  than  kissed  by  a  genius. 

My  first  step  was  to  send  off  this  telegram : 

ARCHIBALD  M.  HAYES,  El  Dorado,  Kansas — Leave  your 
business  in  the  hands  of  a  trusty  agent  and  come  here  at 
once.  EPHRAIM  BENEZET. 

Then  I  sent  word  to  my  excellent  young  friends, 
the  reporters,  who  seem  to  have  in  their  natures  some 
thing  of  the  lightning  they  employ  to  carry  their 
messages;  electrical  men,  with  all  the  snap  of  youth 
and  all  the  experience  of  men  of  the  world;  good  fel 
lows,  too,  and  as  honest  as  their  masters  will  permit 
them  to  be ;  I  sent  word  to  them  to  come  and  see  me. 

What  a  galaxy  gathered  around  me,  each  with  his 
fingers,  as  it  were,  on  the  keyboard  of  a  vast  audi 
ence,  themselves  the  phonographs  and  telephones  of 
civilization !  As  Hamlet  says  of  the  players  we  can 
say  of  them:  "Let  them  be  well  used;  for  they  are 
the  abstracts  and  brief  chronicles  of  the  time;  after 
your  death  you  were  better  have  a  bad  epitaph,  than 
the  ill  report  while  you  lived." 

"Gentlemen,"  I  began,  "I  want  you  to  tell  the 
world  that  the  'Gold-maker'  is  about  to  do  something 
unheard  of,  heretofore,  in  the  history  of  mankind. 

"The  people  are  perishing  for  want  of  money;  they 
have  wealth,  they  can  create  that  out  of  the  soil,  by 
their  industry;  but  in  the  midst  of  their  abundance, 
each  one  producing  a  hundred-fold  more  than  he  can 
consume,  they  are  sinking  into  bankruptcy.  The 


150  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

land  is  covered  with  a  filthy  scab,  an  eczema  of  mort 
gages,  under  which  vermin  swarm  and  fatten;  the 
soil  is  concentrating  in  the  hands  of  the  few;  the 
yeomen  are  becoming  peasants,  the  land-owners  ten 
ants;  the  Republic  is  dying,  the  last  hopes  of  man 
kind  are  flickering  in  the  socket  ere  they  go  out  in 
eternal  night. 

"  God  has  intervened  to  save  humanity.  He  has 
given  me  the  means  to  lift  up  the  world.  Scourged 
on  by  the  recreancy  of  the  government  and  the  ar 
rogance  of  the  ruling  class,  I  have  resolved  to  come 
to  the  relief  of  the  wretched  people. 

"Say  to  the  nation  that  I  am  about  to  create  gold 
enough  to  take  up  every  mortgage  in  the  United  States. 

"  I  shall  lend  my  money  to  the  people  on  twenty 
years'  time,  at  two  per  cent  per  annum ! 

"  I  shall  establish  great  manufacturing  cities  where 
labor  can  congregate;  and  I  shall  advance  enough 
to  each  workman  to  enable  him  to  secure  a  house  and 
garden.  Instead  of  forcing  labor  to  go  to  capital,  I 
shall  compel  capital  to  come  to  labor. 

"  /  shall  revolutionize  the  nation,  yea,  the  world. 

"  The  moneyed  class  have  bought  up  the  Senate, 
blocked  reform,  and  made  a  mockery  of  self-govern 
ment.  By  the  power  of  God  I  pass  by  them  and 
over  them  to  the  lifting  up  of  the  whole  people. 

"  Say  to  the  people  that  I  need  an  honest,  faithful 
agent  in  every  town  and  village  to  superintend  my 
loans.  I  want  men  who  have  got  some  heart  in  them, 
not  mere  heartless  intellects;  for  intellect  in  these 


I  GET   MAD.  151 

latter  days  lias  grown  like  a  monstrous  wen  and 
sucked  the  substance  out  of  heart. 

"Let  them  send  their  recommendations  at  once  to 
me. 

"  The  first  to  be  served  shall  be  those  whose  mort 
gages  have  already  been  foreclosed,  but  who  still 
have  a  day  of  grace  and  a  chance  to  redeem  their 
homes. 

"What  I  am  after  is  the  protection  of  homes,  the 
protection  of  the  roofs  that  shelter  wives  and  little 
ones.  These  are  the  most  precious  things  in  all  this 
world.  I  have  no  money  for  speculators,  but  for  the 
mother  and  the  babies  everything." 


CHAPTER  XX. 

THE     GLAD    TIDINGS     OF     GREAT    JOY. 

LORD!  Lord!  What  rejoicing  there  was  in  all  the 
land! 

The  people  rang  the  church  bells,  bonfires  were 
kindled,  cannon  boomed.  From  town  to  town  the 
great  wave  of  excitement  and  delight  rolled  like  a 
flood,  drowning  out  all  sorrow.  Who  can  count  the 
millions  of  hearts  that  were  rendered  happy,  the 
millions  of  wrinkles  that  were  smoothed  out  of  toil- 
worn  faces,  the  millions  of  eyes,  sunken  and  sad,  that 
shone  with  the  light  of  a  great  joy? 

Mr.  Hayes  came.  He  was  invaluable  to  me.  We 
opened  immense  offices  with  thousands  of  clerks. 
The  applications  came  in  by  the  wagon-load. 

Everything  was  reduced  to  a  system. 

At  the  suggestion  of  Mr.  Hayes,  I  employed  a 
force  of  detectives — guards.  I  brought  into  my  lab 
oratory  piles  of  pig-iron.  I  replenished  the  chemicals. 
I  closed  the  windows.  I  stationed  my  sentinels  to 
keep  away  the  curious  and  the  criminal.  I  manu 
factured  gold  on  a  colossal  scale.  The  teamsters 
were  kept  busy,  under  guard,  hauling  the  bullion  to 
the  mint,  and  carrying  the  coin  from  the  mint  to  the 

152 


THE   GLAD    TIDINGS   OF   GREAT   JOY.  153 

banks.  I  opened  accounts  with  all  the  banks  in 
Philadelphia,  Boston,  and  New  York. 

Agents  were  employed  in  every  village  and  city, 
and  the  golden  flood  began  to  pour  fourth  to  all  parts 
of  the  nation. 

I  cannot  begin  to  describe  the  stupendous  results. 
It  was  the  experience  of  Butler  County,  Kansas, 
magnified  a  million-fold.  The  whole  face  of  society 
was  transformed.  The  vast  aggregate  of  money 
which  had  been  spent  to  pay  interest  on  billions  of 
dollars  of  debt,  was  gradually  withdrawn  from  the 
pockets  of  an  idle,  non-producing  class, — a  few  thou 
sands  in  number — who  had  used  the  greater  part  of  it 
to  lend  out  again  to  others,  thus  swelling  their  wealth 
and  the  aggregate  of  human  suffering — and  it  was  left 
in  the  hands  of  the  producers.  But  only  for  a  little 
time  did  it  stay  there.  Civilized  man,  educated,  is 
as  expansive  as  oxygen  gas.  His  wants  increase 
with  his  means.  The  greater  part  of  the  savings  of 
the  people  went  into  the  hands  of  the  merchants,  who 
made  their  percentage  of  profit  off  it;  and  then,  after 
paying  part  to  the  farmers  for  food,  they  paid  over 
the  balance  to  the  manufacturers;  who,  after  deduct 
ing  their  profit,  disbursed  it  among  the  working 
classes  who  made  the  goods;  who,  after  taking  out 
their  share  of  happiness  from  it,  and  paying  other 
farmers  for  food,  paid  it  over  once  more  to  the  mer 
chants  for  the  necessaries  and  luxuries  of  life;  and 
these,  in  turn,  paid  it  back  to  the  manufacturers;  who, 
in  turn,  gave  another  share  to  the  laborers  and  the 


154  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

farmers;  and  so  trie  dollars  saved  from  trie  money 
lenders  penetrated  to  every  part  of  the  country,  and 
to  every  fireside,  moving  with  marvellous  activity; 
and  everywhere,  like  rain  falling  upon  dry  and  dusty 
ground,  this  new  supply  of  money,  wherever  it 
touched,  caused  enterprise,  industry,  joy,  prosperity 
to  spring  up,  like  a  noble  crop  of  magnificent  vege 
tation. 

Millions  of  tons'  weight  of  sorrow  and  fear  and  per 
plexity  were  lifted  off  the  hearts  of  the  toiling  masses. 
In  every  direction  the  enterprise  and  zeal  of  the  peo 
ple  extended  itself.  There  were  no  more  mortgage 
foreclosures;  the  courts  stood  idle;  the  criminal  class 
decreased  and  almost  disappeared;  intemperance,  the 
last  grim  refuge  of  the  weak  and  miserable,  became  a 
thing  of  the  past;  even  the  mendicants  rose  to  some 
sense  of  personal  dignity  as  the  pressure  from  above 
was  withdrawn,  and  they  found  a  chance  to  live  with 
out  begging. 

The  whole  moral  nature  of  the  people  changed. 
They  began  to  see  that  they  had  something  to  thank 
God  for.  It  had  been  difficult  indeed  to  worship  God 
while  the  devil  ruled  the  world.  It  had  been  difficult 
to  cultivate  sentiments  of  virtue  while  the  gigantic 
rogues  were  the  masters  of  society,  and  all  men  were 
prostrated  before  them.  It  had  seemed  in  the  past 
as  if  the  wise  man  must  necessarily  be  a  villain,  and 
only  the  fool  was  honest.  Now  all  this  was  changed. 
The  hands  of  God,  overflowing  with  bounties,  reached 
down  to  this  nether  world.  The  songs  of  praise 


THE  GLAD   TIDINGS   OF   GREAT   JOY.  155 

welled  up  from  all  full  hearts  and  overflowed  from  all 
smiling  lips.  Goodness  was  master  once  more  of  the 
universe. 

And  men  laughed  and  wondered  how  it  could  have 
been  possible  that,  for  so  many  ages,  mankind  had 
permitted  a  few  of  their  fellows  to  put  snaffle-bits  in 
their  mouths  and  saddles  on  their  backs,  and  ride 
them  to  destruction.  They  had  been  so  long  in  a 
condition  of  debt,  that  it  had  seemed  to  them  that  the 
credit  system  was  natural  to  mankind;  born  with 
them,  as  essential  a  part  of  their  lives  as  their  eye 
sight  and  hands.  And  they  said  to  one  another: 
"  How  stupid  were  we  to  permit,  for  all  these  cen 
turies,  this  halt  in  the  process  of  bartering  our  com 
modities,  this  break  in  the  process  of  swapping  our 
productions;  in  which,  like  robbers  hiding  in  a  cave 
by  the  roadside,  the  knaves  have  secreted  themselves, 
ready  to  rush  out  and  levy  tribute  upon  every  dollar 
of  wealth  that  passed  by  them!"  And  they  asked 
themselves:  "Why  were  two  commodities,  gold  and 
silver,  permitted  to  establish  a  masterdom  over  all 
other  commodities — yea,  over  all  wealth  and  over  all 
who  produced  wealth?"  And  the  only  answer  was 
that  it  was  that  dreadful  thing — the  most  dreadful 
that  can  take  possession  of  the  human  mind — a  su 
perstitious  adoration  of  the  past;  that  belief  in  the 
beliefs  of  an  ignorant  and  dead  and  buried  ancestry, 
which  has  covered  the  world  with  wars  and  murders, 
has  dwarfed  the  minds  and  darkened  the  souls  of  un 
countable  billions  in  all  ages,  and  among  all  races, 


156  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

that  dwell  on  the  face  of  the  earth.  And  they  cried 
out  aloud:  "Oh,  for  some  divine  power  to  sunder 
the  present  from  the  past;  to  strip  the  human  mind 
of  its  inherited  trappings;  to  permit  that  mighty 
force,  untrammelled  intellect,  to  lead  mankind  for 
ward  into  paths  of  peace  and  plenty  and  beauty  for 
ever!" 


CHAPTER   XXI. 

THE     FINANCIAL     WORLD. 

I  HAVE,  of  course,  in  the  last  pages,  anticipated 
somewhat  the  course  of  events. 

It  must  not  be  supposed  that  amid  the  general 
rejoicing  all  men  were  happy.  Far  from  it. 

The  capitalistic  class,  that  class  that  desires  to 
avoid  the  universal  doom  of  work,  by  living  on  the 
crystallized  and  compounded  labors  of  others,  alive 
and  dead,  were  thrown  into  a  terrible  panic.  It 
really  began  to  look  as  if  they  would  have  to  do 
something  to  sustain  themselves.  It  was  an  awful 
doom  suspended  over  them — work!  Their  money 
was  returned  to  them  every  day  by  the  millions  of 
dollars;  it  began  to  pile  up  in  the  banks  in  vast 
quantities;  no  one  wanted  it.  The  debtor  class  re 
fused  it,  and  the  business  classes  were  so  tremen 
dously  prosperous  that  everything  was  upon  a  cash 
basis.  What  were  they  to  do?  To  be  sure,  they 
could  put  their  money  into  manufactures,  or  trade, 
and  employ  labor,  and  thus  help  the  general  prosper 
ity.  But  this  did  not  suit  them.  They  would  have 
to  take  the  chances  of  the  calamities  and  mishaps 
of  life,  and  they  had  been  so  long  accustomed  to 

157 


158  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

having  some  poor  wretch  stand  between  them  and 
the  contingencies  of  fortune,  to  take  the  brunt  while 
they  were  in  perfect  security,  that  the  alternative  of 
coming  down  to  the  general  level  was  dreadful  to 
contemplate. 

A  great  bitterness  took  possession  of  them. 

Sophie  was  in  New  York  city.     She  wrote  me: 

DEAR  EPHE  : — Be  careful  of  yourself.  A  little  while  ago 
the  capitalists  of  this  city  worshipped  you.  Now  they  hate 
you  with  the  bitterness  of  death.  You  are  ruining  them  in 
your  efforts  to  help  the  people.  In  their  desperation  they 
will  kill  you  to  stop  the  outpouring  of  gold.  Do  not  go  any 
where  without  a  guard.  Be  careful  what  you  eat  and  drink. 

I  can  see  the  change  in  my  Woman's  Aid  Society.  Several 
of  the  great  ladies  have  refused  to  have  anything  further  to 
do  with  it ;  and  they  are  giving  their  trade  to  the  sweating 
shops  again.  But  we  have  progressed  so  far,  and  grown  so 
strong,  that  we  can  get  along  without  them.  I  cut  the  fol 
lowing  clipping  from  the  New  York  Capitalist  of  to-day : 

"  Query :  Has  any  one  man  the  right  to  destroy  the  entire 
wealthy  class  of  this  country,  and  derange  the  finances  of 
the  whole  world?  Is  the  life  of  any  one  man  worth  more 
than  the  business  interests  of  the  United  States?  These  are 
pregnant  questions  which  every  man  should  consider  and  de 
cide  for  himself.  There  are  occasions  when  crime  becomes 
a  virtue.  We  have  said  enough. " 

And  so  I  say  again,  my  dear  husband,  guard  yourself  care 
fully  against  assassination.  The  meaning  of  that  paragraph 
is  very  plain,  and  it  is  aimed  at  you. 

I  am  hurrying  up  my  \vork  here,  and  will  join  you  soon, 
to  look  after  you.  Affectionately  your  wife, 

SOPHY. 


CHAPTER   XXII. 

I     ORGANIZE     THE     BROTHERHOOD     OF     JUSTICE. 

I  SAW  clearly  the  force  of  Sophie's  suggestions.  I 
knew  there  was  nothing  so  desperate  and  cruel  as 
human  greed  despoiled  of  its  victims.  You  might 
just  as  well  attempt  to  take  the  dead  kid  away  from 
the  famishing  tigress,  while  her  pups  were  clamoring 
at  her  dry  dugs,  as  seek  to  wrest  from  robber  man  the 
wretches  he  was  plundering.  (There  is  more  devil  in 
man  than  in  all  the  wild  animals  put  together^)  more 
of  a  cunning, complex,  insatiable,  unfathomable  devil; 
wolf,  tiger,  fox,  gorilla,  lion,  jackal — all  stirred  to 
gether  in  one  horrible  compound,  with  something  of 
the  demoniac  from  the  external  invisible  world  added 
thereto,  which  none  of  the  hungry  clamorers  of  the 
woods  possesses — that  is  man !  Animal  brutality  mixed 
with  supernatural  deviltry — that  is  man  in  his  worst 
estate.  And  but  for  the  better  angels  in  human  na 
ture,  it  would  be  an  improvement  of  the  universe  if 
God  would  blow  up  the  planet,  and  shower  its  stony 
fragments  on  Mars  and  Yenus;  a  drift  age  remin 
iscent  of  human  depravity  and  the  Creator's  ven 
geance. 

I  saw  that  I  could  not  rest  the  perpetuity  of  the 
159 


160  THE    GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

great  work  I  was  attempting  upon  the  chances  of  my 
single  life.  I  must  form  an  association  that  would 
carry  out  my  purposes,  after  I  had  passed  away.  I 
must  form  a  corporation  to  which  should  descend  all 
the  vast  wealth  now  loaned  out  by  me,  with  the  other 
hundreds  of  millions  I  intended  to  create.  I  did  so. 
And  I  provided  that,  to  prevent  the  assassination  of  all 
its  members,  and- the  destruction  of  the  society,  each 
member,  the  day  he  was  appointed,  should  secretly 
designate  three  faithful  men,  whose  names  were  to  be 
preserved  with  such  care  that  they  could  not  be  ascer 
tained  by  the  enemy ;  and  if  they  came  into  office  by 
the  death  of  their  principal,  they  were  also,  at  once,  to 
designate  their  three  successors,  whose  names  they 
should  deposit  in  safe  and  secret  keeping; — and  so  on 
from  generation  to  generation.  All  these  men  were 
to  be  carefully  selected  for  their  intelligence,  courage, 
education,  and  above  all  for  their  philanthropic 
spirit.  Society  has  conspired  against  the  existence  of 
a  benevolent  breed  of  men,  but  there  are  enough  left 
— God's  inestimable  gift  to  man — to  save  the  world. 

I  called  my  society  "The  Brotherhood  of  Justice," 
for  justice  is,  after  all,  a  greater  word  than  liberty. 
In  fact,  liberty  is  only  protection  from  injustice. 
Justice  means  the  equal  balancing  of  man  against 
man,  without  regard  to  the  inequalities  of  capacity 
or  fortune;  it  is  the  protection  of  one  man's  rights 
against  all  other  men's  power.  Its  emblems  are  the 
scales  to  weigh  and  the  sword  to  strike.  It  assigns 
to  each  one  his  share,  and  defends  him  in  the  enjoy- 


I  ORGANIZE  THE  BROTHERHOOD  OF  JUSTICE.      161 

ment  of  it.     In  the  last  analysis  all  good  government 

simply  justice.  There  can  be  no  misgovernment 
that  does  not  rob  some  man  of  his  rights. 

The  first  membership  was  confined  to  one  dozen 
men  selected  by  Mr.  Hayes  and  myself,  and  one 
woman — Sophie.  Sophie  was  vice-president;  I  was 
president,  Mr.  Hayes  was  secretary.  In  a  great  safe, 
under  treble  locks,  was  deposited  the  names  of  our 
successors. 

Then  we  framed  the  constitution  of  the  society. 
Its  object  was  "to  resist  wrong  and  injustice."  We 
guarded  carefully  against  corruption.  Each  member 
was  given  a  salary  of  five  thousand  dollars  per  year 
during  his  life-time.  He  was,  therefore,  under  no  in 
ducement  to  betray  his  trust,  as  is  too  often  the  case, 
in  order  to  provide  for  his  old  age.  Even  his  wife 
and  children  were  to  receive  a  half-pay  pension  after 
his  death,  during  their  lives.  Thus  relieved  of  that 
great  pressure  of  doubt  and  love,  which  too  often 
makes  even  the  virtuous  vicious,  the  members  could 
devote  their  whole  lives  and  energies  to  the  great 
work. 

Then  by  proper  legal  conveyances  I  assigned  to 
this  corporation — this  brotherhood — all  the  hundreds 
of  millions  of  mortgages  held  by  me;  and  by  will  I 
left  them  all  other  properties,  real  and  personal,  of 
which  I  should  die  possessed,  after  making  liberal  pro 
visions  for  my  wife,  mother,  and  the  other  members 
of  my  family. 

It  was  a  great  relief  to  my  mind  when  all  these 
11 


162  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

details  had  been  attended  to.  I  no  longer  feared 
death;  for  I  knew  the  great  work  would  go  on,  from 
generation  to  generation,  with  steadily  increasing 
power.  But  Sophie,  in  her  solicitude  for  me,  told 
the  newspaper  reporters  of  the  establishment  of  the 
Brotherhood  of  Justice,  so  that  the  wealthy  class 
would  understand  that  it  would  do  no  good  to  take 
my  life,  or  the  lives  of  all  our  members. 

In  addition  to  this  corporation  proper,  in  which  the 
•wealth  was  vested,  we  established  lay  memberships, 
which  were  open  to  all  the  people  who  sympathized 
with  us  in  our  work.  We  sent  out  agents  into  every 
state,  county,  and  township;  and  the  people,  men  and 
women,  flocked  into  the  society,  and  we  soon  num 
bered  several  millions  of  members. 

Each  member  received  free  a  copy  of  a  great  cen 
tral  organ,  a  weekly  newspaper,  The  Anti-Monop 
olist ,  for  which  the  best  writers  of  the  age  contrib 
uted,  and  whose  pages  were  illustrated  by  the  greatest 
artists  with  pictures  grave  and  gay.  This  journal 
started  with  one  million  copies,  and  within  a  year  its 
circulation  had  reached  over  seven  millions.  Adver 
tising  space  in  such  a  paper  was  very  valuable,  and 
so  graduated  that  it  paid  the  whole  cost  of  the  jour 
nal,  and  we  were  able  to  distribute  it  freely  to  our 
members,  and  yet  make  it  self-supporting.  One 
highly  intelligent  and  faithful  man  was  employed  to 
carefully  read  and  collate  brief  extracts  from  the 
thousands  of  communications  sent  each  week  to  the 
paper,  and  many  excellent  suggestions,  of  great  use  to 


I  OKGANIZE  THE  BROTHERHOOD  OF  JUSTICE.      163 

mankind,  were  thus  saved  from  oblivion;  for  it  is 
a  singular  fact  that  nearly  all  new  thoughts  of  value 
come  from  the  common  people.  The  multitude  are 
the  productive  earth;  the  aristocracy  are  the  air;  it 
is  the  people  that  produces. 

Editions  of  this  great  journal  were  printed  in  the 
different  languages,  and  some  were  especially  adapted 
to  the  farmers  and  others  to  the  mechanics.  Ar 
rangements  were  also  made  to  extend  our  society 
throughout  Europe,  so  far  as  the  jealous  and  suspi 
cious  governments  would  permit  it;  and  whenever 
members  joined  in  sufficient  numbers,  editions  of 
The  Anti- Monopolist  were  circulated  in  the  differ 
ent  languages.  I  could  thus  reach,  in  a  few  hours, 
the  minds  and  consciences  of  many  millions  of  the 
best  and  most  intelligent* of  the  human  race;  and  was 
thereby  able  to  weld  them  together,  into  one  mighty 
and  effective  whole.  I  thus  possessed — 

"The  god-like  power,  the  art  Napoleon, 
Of  winning,  moulding,  welding,  banding, 
The  minds  of  millions  till  they  moved  as  one. " 


CHAPTER  XXIII. 

I   START    A    TOWN    AND    BUILD    A    RAILROAD. 

OUR  work  had  thus  far  helped  principally  the 
work-women  and  the  farmers.  But  for  the  mass  of 
the  laborers,  mechanics,  artisans,  in  the  cities,  I  had 
as  yet  done  little.  I  could  not  lend  them  money  to 
redeem  their  homes,  for  they  very  rarely  had  any. 
Nor  could  I  advance  them  the  means  to  buy  homes 
in  the  great  cities,  for  the  prices  of  urban  prop 
erty  was  far  beyond  the  reach  of  their  humble  means. 
The  cities  afforded  splendid  opportunities  for  the 
rich  and  the  middle  classes,  but  they  presented 
no  chance  for  the  laboring  men.  They  were  driven 
to  shiver  or  swelter  in  some  garret  or  tenement  house, 
or  to  spread  themselves,  in  hot  weather,  upon  the  roofs 
of  houses,  panting  to  catch  a  breath  of  the  devitalized 
air,  while  their  children  perished  in  the  foul  atmo 
sphere,  like  mice  under  the  glass  ball  of  an  air-pump. 
It  is  the  doom  of  poverty  to  pay  the  highest  prices 
for  the  poorest  articles,  and  to  be  most  lacking  in 
those  things  which  are  the  most  essential  to  its  comfort 
and  happiness.  It  was  labor  that  had  made  the 
cities,  and  yet  labor  was  without  respect  in  them. 
The  workman's  poorly  paid  toil  had  swelled  the 

164 


I  START  A  TOWN  AND  BUILD  A  RAILROAD.      165 

value  of  the  city  property  far  beyond  his  own  reach. 
He  was  homeless  by  reason  of  his  very  industry. 

What  could  be  done? 

This  is  how  I  solved  the  enigma. 

I  sent  agents  to  quietly  buy  up  vast  tracts  of  land 
around  Great  Egg  Harbor,  on  the  sea-coast  of  New 
Jersey.  This  gave  me  a  fine  natural  roadway  for 
ships  and  a  healthy  site  for  a  city. 

Then,  imitating  Peter  the  Great,  I  took  a  map  of 
the  United  States,  and  placed  a  ruler  upon  it,  and 
drew  a  line  from  Great  Egg  Harbor  to  Philadelphia, 
and  thence  across  the  continent,  straight  as  the  crow 
flies,  to  the  California  coast  at  San  Francisco,  pay 
ing  no  attention  to  existing  towns  or  cities. 

Then  I  set  shrewd  agents  at  work  in  every  legis 
lature  to  quietly  procure  charters,  or  legislation,  for 
local  railroads,  with  electric  motors,  across  the  several 
States.  They  did  this  without  exciting  the  suspicion 
of  the  great  railroad  interests,  for  no  man  could  have 
foreshadowed  my  gigantic  projects. 

Then  along  this  line  at  points  about  five  miles  apart 
I  purchased  thousands  of  acres  of  land  for  town-sites. 

At  the  mouth  of  Great  Egg  Harbor  Kiver  I 
erected  an  immense  dam  of  stone,  with  a  central  door 
way  hundreds  of  feet  wide;  in  this  was  a  sliding 
gate  of  iron,  which  rose  and  fell  automatically  twice 
every  twenty-four  hours;  and  was  so  arranged  that 
the  top  of  the  gate  was  always  about  a  foot  lower  than 
the  ocean  tide  at  that  time.  In  this  way  a  great 
cataract  of  sea-water,  hundreds  of  feet  wide,  poured 


166  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

over  the  top  of  the  gate  as  the  tide  came  in ;  and, 
shortly  after  high -tide,  the  gate  began  to  fall  auto 
matically  and  the  contents  of  the  long  river  poured 
out  again  in  the  same  way.  From  this  salt-water 
Niagara  I  derived  tremendous  electric  power;  a  small 
part  of  this  was  used  to  furnish  the  force  requisite 
to  slide  the  gate  up  and  down,  while  the  rest  of  it 
was  to  run  the  machinery  in  the  mills  and  factories. 

Then  I  laid  out  my  city. 

.  In  the  centre  of  the  tract  I  drew  a  large  circle. 
Here  the  electricity  was  conveyed  for  the  use  of  the 
innumerable  shops  that  were  to  be. 

Every  mile — north,  south,  and  west — similar  cir 
cles  were  laid  out;  they  were  also  to  be  centres  of 
manufacturing  power. 

Around  these  circles  were  parks  or  gardens,  which 
insured  fresh  air  and  sunshine  to  the  workers  in  the 
mills.  Beyond  the  parks  were  the  streets  and  lots  of 
the  city.  There  were  two  sets  of  streets — large  ave 
nues,  stretching  in  successive  circles  around  the  manu 
facturing  centres;  and  other  wide  avenues  crossing 
these  at  right  angles  and  centring  where  the  mills 
and  shops  were  to  be  erected. 

Each  lot  was  an  acre  in  extent — each  house  was  to 
stand  in  the  midst  of  a  garden. 

Street-car  lines,  charging  one  cent  for  a  fare,  were 
provided  for  on  all  the  avenues,  and  by  a  system  of 
"  transfers"  one  could  pass  to  any  part  of  the  city 
without  additional  charge.  The  street-car  lines  were 
owned  by  the  city. 


I  START  A  TOWN  AND  BUILD  A  RAILROAD.       167 

Lots  could  only  be  held  by  persons  actually  resid 
ing  on  the  same.  Wherever  a  lot  passed  to  a 
speculator  or  a  tenant,  it  reverted,  at  once,  to  the 
government  of  the  city,  to  be  held,  at  the  original 
price,  five  dollars,  for  the  next  man  who  would  take 
it  and  live  upon  it.  It  was  made  the  duty  of  the 
city  government  to  lay  out  more  lots,  at  the  same 
price,  as  rapidly  as  the  increase  of  population  made 
it  necessary.  In  this  way  no  man  could  be  without 
a  home. 

But  as  many  of  the  working  people  were  so  poor 
that  they  could  not  build  a  house,  I  directed  the  con 
struction  of  houses  as  fast  as  demanded.  The  cost 
of  the  lot  and  house  was  charged  up  in  the  tax  roll, 
at  two  per  cent  per  annum  interest,  and  every  year 
the  interest  and  one-twentieth  of  the  principal  was 
collected  with  the  other  taxes. 

I  offered  free  power  to  all  manufacturers  who  would 
build  mills  and  factories,  on  condition  that  the  work  was 
to  be  conducted  on  the  cooperative  plan,  each  worker 
having  a  share  of  all  the  profits.  I  offered  the  same 
terms  to  combinations  of  the  men  themselves,  with 
bank  credit  to  enable  them  to  carry  on  business.  I 
established  a  bank  of  deposit  and  discount  in  every 
circle.  In  the  very  centre  of  each  circle  was  erected 
a  great  town-hall,  for  the  free  use  of  those  contigu 
ous  to  it.  Here  were  reading-rooms,  lecture-rooms, 
art-schools,  bath-rooms  (supplied  with  sea- water),  and 
shops  where  all  necessaries  could  be  bought  at  a  small 
advance  on  first  cost.  Here,  too,  was  a  physician, 


168  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

paid  by  taxation,  for  every  five  thousand  of  popu 
lation,  free  dispensaries  of  medicine,  and  a  board  of 
arbitration  for  the  settlement  of  disputes  free  of  cost 
to  litigants. 

Of  course  it  required  many  months,  and  in  fact 
years,  to  carry  out  all  these  plans;  but  as  soon  as  it 
was  known  what  was  intended,  the  people  began  to 
swarm  in  by  the  thousands.  Lines  of  boats  soon 
presented  themselves  to  carry  passengers  from  New 
York,  Boston,  and  all  points  on  the  sea-coast;  and  a 
branch  railroad  was  built  to  New  York  and  the  main 
trunk  line  constructed  to  Philadelphia. 

Every  man  who  came  wanted  a  home.  The  nest- 
building  instinct  is  one  of  the  strongest  in  humanity, 
but  society  has  robbed  its  members  of  the  opportunity. 
Thirty  years  ago  the  nation,  after  a  hard  battle,  ad 
vanced,  reluctantly,  to  the  conception  of  a  "Home 
stead  Law;  "  that  is,  they  gave  each  head  of  a  family 
the  right  to  take  160  acres  of  government  land  as  a 
free  gift,  except  the  clerk's  fees  for  making  out  the 
papers.  And  during  the  grasshopper  times  several 
state  governments,  in  the  West,  had  loaned  money 
for  food  and  seed  to  the  suffering  farmers ;  and  it  was 
quietly  returned  in  a  few  years,  into  the  State  treas 
ury,  by  the  process  of  gradual  taxation ;  and  not  a 
soul  was  a  dollar  worse  off,  while  thousands  had  been 
enabled  to  live  and  save  their  homes.  But  no  one 
had  thought  of  applying  these  precedents  to  the  case 
of  the  laboring  people.  The  poor  man  is,  at  first, 
like  the  new-born  child,  he  is  perfectly  powerless;  he 


I  START  A  TOWN  AND  BUILD  A  RAILROAD.      169 

needs  protection,  if  he  would  advance  to  the  full  stat 
ure  of  manhood.  He  has  now  fought  his  own  way,  by 
organization,  a  long  distance;  government  must  come 
to  his  help  for  the  remainder  of  the  path  of  progress 
he  is  to  travel  over. 

When  it  became  known  that  at  "Cooperation,"  for 
so  I  called  my  new  city,  men  could  procure,  not  only 
homesteads,  but  homes — roofs  to  shelter  wife  and  little 
ones  from  storms  and  heat  and  cold,  the  rush  of  ap 
plications  was  tremendous.  We  erected  booths  and 
tents  on  the  sea-shore  to  temporarily  cover  them.  It 
must  have  been  a  delight  to  the  merciful  angels  of 
God  to  see  the  pale-faced,  meagre,  sickly  children 
brought  from  the  alleys  and  purlieus  of  the  great 
cities,  to  expand  in  the  sunshine  and  pure  air  into 
splendid  rosy  cherubs,  as  they  played  in  the  white  sand, 
and  the  glorious  salt  winds  tumbled  their  many-hued 
hair;  for  every  head,  in  its  complexion,  told  the  long 
story  of  migrations  of  the  human  race,  and  the  longer 
story  of  human  miseries  in  the  dark  and  dreadful  past. 

In  rushed  an  army  of  mechanics;  the  harbor  was 
alive  with  vessels  loaded  with  lumber,  lime,  bricks, 
sand  and  stone ;  factories  sprang  up  to  make  windows 
and  doors  and  furniture.  Thousands  were  at  work 
laying  out  the  streets,  planting  the  gardens,  erecting 
the  houses,  constructing  the  street-car  lines.  And 
every  worker  wanted  a  home.  The  men  who  were 
to  build  the  railroads  to  New  York  and  Philadelphia 
would  not  go  out  to  work  until  they  had  first  selected 
their  lots  and  arranged  for  their  houses. 


170  THE    GOLDEN    BOTTLE. 

And  manufacturing  capital  which,  without  the  aid 
of  labor,  was  like  a  man  without  his  hands  and  arms, 
finding  that  their  employees  had  deserted  the  great 
cities,  and  knowing  that  they  could  procure  electric 
power  free  of  cost,  came  to  Cooperation;  they  se 
lected  sites  in  the  great  circles,  called  the  workmen 
together,  and  formed  companies  in  which  every  man 
added  the  dignity  of  an  employer  to  the  profits  of  the 
toiler.  There  was  no  more  oppression,  for  men  do 
not  oppress  themselves ;  there  were  no  more  "  strikes, " 
for  they  could  not  "strike"  against  themselves;  there 
was  no  more  discontent,  for  each  man  understood  the 
business  conditions,  and  saw  that  he  had  a  fair  share 
in  the  general  division.  And  the  capitalist  got  a  lib 
eral  return  on  his  money  and  a  just  reward  for  his 
business  capacity,  and  he  found  himself  surrounded, 
not  by  enemies,  but  by  a  brotherhood  of  friends. 

And  the  city  grew.  It  arose  with  all  the  rapidity 
and  splendor  of  a  gorgeous  dream.  From  every 
part  of  the  world  men  poured  in  to  share  its  far-her 
alded  advantages.  Labor  was  limited  to  eight  hours 
a  day,  hoping  that  some  day  even  this  period  would 
be  shortened.  There  was  not  a  drinking-place  in  the 
whole  city;  no  man  dispensed  poison  and  slew  his 
fellows  for  profit.  The  hours  gained  from  toil  were 
spent  in  the  gardens,  or  with  their  families,  or  in  the 
lecture-rooms,  or  in  reading  instructive  books  and 
newspapers  in  the  reading-rooms,  or  in  innocent  sports 
and  games.  In  every  house  was  our  great  journal, 
and  through  it  all  our  millions  communed  together, 


I  START  A  TOWN  AND  BUILD  A  RAILROAD.       171 

and  studied  out  what  would  make  them  better  and 
happier. 

And  the  stupid  politicians,  seeing  all  these  results, 
scratched  their  wise  heads  and  said  to  one  another, 
"  Why  did  not  the  State  or  the  nation  enter  upon  this 
great  work  long  ago?  Why  does  it  now  leave  it  to 
one  man  to  do?  Why  did  not  the  United  States  sup 
plement  the  Homestead  Law  by  a  Home  Law?  Why 
did  it  not  come  with  government  loans  to  the  help 
of  the  hundreds  of  thousands  of  farmers,  who,  during 
the  last  quarter  of  a  century,  were  driven  off  the 
land  by  excessive  rates  of  interest?  Why  did  not  the 
States  stop  the  discontent  of  the  working-people,  ever 
ready  to  break  out  in  civil  war  and  endanger  all  so 
cial  order,  by  using  its  power  of  'eminent  domain ' 
to  condemn  and  appropriate  land  for  town  sites,  and 
its  credit  to  borrow  money  to  build  homes  for  the 
people,  to  be  repaid  by  gradual  taxation,  as  this  man 
has  done?  Why  should  not  government  expand  its 
powers  with  the  necessities  of  its  surroundings?  Has 
government  any  higher  function  than  the  relief  of  the 
human  estate?  And  does  not  earthly  power  seem 
likest  God's  when  it  lifts  up  man  and  makes  him  con 
tented,  virtuous,  and  happy?" 

In  three  years  Cooperation  contained  half  a  million 
people.  It  was  amusing  to  see  how  the  speculators 
tried  to  get  their  claws  on  some  part  of  this  wonderful 
growth;  and  how  we  rapped  them  over  the  knuckles 
until  they  gnashed  their  teeth  and  howled  with  rage. 

And  then  we  began  to  develop,  all  along  the  line 


172  THE  GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

of  our  trunk  and  branch  railroads,  other  towns  and 
cities  on  the  same  plan,  with  like  results.  We  put 
rates  of  travel  down  to  one  cent  per  mile,  and  the 
trains  had  to  run  every  quarter  of  an  hour.  And 
rates  of  transportation  were  reduced  in  like  propor 
tion,  and  we  broke  the  back  of  the  Pools,  and 
squeezed  all  the  water  out  of  the  railroad  stocks,  and 
the  savings  were  divided  between  the  farmers  and  the 
rest  of  the  people.  Our  great  four-track  trunk  line 
across  the  continent,  with  its  north  and  south  branches, 
could  not  do  the  business  that  crowded  upon  it;  and 
Jay  Gould  went  out  and  hung  himself.  And  all  the 
people  said — Amen! 

And  the  joy  of  the  multitude  was  unbounded,  and 
again  the  politicians  asked,  "Why  did  not  the  nation 
do  all  this  long  ago?"  And  echo — it  was  an  Irish 
echo — answered,  "because  of  the  politicians." 


CHAPTER  XXIV. 

THE    DEMONETIZATION    OF    GOLD. 

BUT  I  am  ahead  of  my  story. 

Were  the  so-called  Plutocrats  idle? 

Not  at  all. 

There  was  a  buzzing  like  that  of  an  overturned 
bee-hive.  The  golden  honey  was  on  the  ground,  and 
the  bees,  with  hot  business-ends,  were  flying  hither 
and  thither  seeking  for  revenge. 

And  Threadneedle  Street  and  Lombard  Street  were 
as  wildly  excited  as  Wall  Street. 

They  had  educated  the  people  for  centuries  in  the 
worship  of  gold;  they  had  crowned  the  yellow  demon 
master  of  the  souls  and  bodies  of  men ;  all  wealth  was 
prostrated  before  this  Baal,  humbly  cringing  and 
crawling  on  the  ground.  And  now,  as  if  by  a  jest 
of  the  Almighty,  a  boundless  sea  of  gold  was  pour 
ing  forth  and  flooding  the  world.  The  purchasing 
power  of  money  was  decreasing  rapidly,  and  the  value 
of  all  forms  of  property,  as  well  as  human  labor,  was 
rising  with  equal  rapidity. 

Mankind  was  slipping  between  the  fingers  of  capital  f 

The  human  race  was  attaining  freedom. 
173 


174  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

An  incident  of  commerce  ivas  no  longer  master  of 
earthly  destinies. 

GOLD    WAS   A    DRUG   AND    MONEY    POWERLESS! 

Long  and  earnestly  did  the  Plutocrats  counsel  to 
gether. 

To  kill  me  was  not  a  remedy ;  for  they  knew  a  vast 
society  would  live  after  me,  possessed  of  enormous 
w&alth,  and  probably  the  heirs  of  my  great  secret.  A 
dozen  men  might  then  be  making  gold  instead  of 
one. 

At  last  one  long-headed  man  proposed  a  remedy. 

"Gentlemen,"  said  he,  "you  remember  that  when 
the  Comstock  lode  began  to  pour  out  such  vast  quan 
tities  of  silver,  while  the  production  of  gold  was  an 
nually  decreasing,  we  agreed  that,  to  preserve  our 
supremacy,  we  must  demonetize  the  abundant  metal 
and  make  the  scarcer  metal  the  sole  basis  of  the 
world's  business.  By  arts  which  I  need  not  more 
than  refer  to,  we  persuaded  many  nations,  including 
this  republic,  to  demonetize  silver  and  establish  a 
mono-metallic  currency.  The  experiment  worked  ad 
mirably.  The  value  of  all  forms  of  human  property, 
food,  clothes,  implements,  ornaments,  bread,  meat, 
and  even  the  price  of  labor,  fell  off  one-third,  which 
signified  one-third  added  to  our  wealth  from  the  pock 
ets  of  the  multitude  who  created  the  wealth ;  we  in 
creased  the  value  of  the  mortgage  by  reducing  the  val 
ue  of  the  farm;  we  added  to  the  value  of  the  national 
bond  and  the  individual  indebtedness,  by  lowering  the 
price  of  all  things  that  could  be  sold  to  pay  them,  or 


THE   DEMONETIZATION  OF  GOLD.  175 

the  interest  on  them.  The  work  would  have  gone  on 
indefinitely,  for  the  courts  of  Europe  and  the  politi 
cians  of  this  country  were,  alike,  our  bond-slaves; 
and  eventually  we  should  have  concentrated  in  our 
hands  the  great  bulk  of  the  possessions  of  the  world. 
But  in  an  unfortunate  hour  this  pleasant  boor  of 
Kansas  stumbled,  in  some  mysterious  and  inexplicable 
way,  upon  the  secret  which  the  alchemists  sought  in 
vain  for  centuries,  and  which  we  fondly  thought  was 
securely  hidden  forever  from  the  prying  eyes  of  man. 
Now,  then,  we  must  meet  the  altered  conditions  by 
remonetizing  silver  and  demonetizing  gold!" 

A  look  of  astonishment  passed  over  the  faces  of  his 
auditors,  but  it  quickly  gave  way  to  a  smile  of  de 
light,  and  they  broke  forth  into  rapturous  cheers; 
then  they  rushed  forward  and  grasped  his  hand. 

He  had  solved  the  problem! 

Mankind  had  not  yet  escaped  from  the  clutches  of 
Plutocracy. 

And  immediately  they  set  to  work,  busy  as  bees,  to 
arrange  the  details. 

The  next  day  every  daily  paper  in  the  United  States 
contained  articles  demanding  the  demonetization  of 
gold  and  the  remoneti/ation  of  silver,  on  high  moral 
grounds;  with  many  lucid  arguments,  showing  that 
thereby  the  public  would  be  greatly  enriched  and 
benefited!  A  few  days  subsequently  all  the  weekly 
papers,  except  the  Reform  press,  echoed  the  cry.  In 
two  weeks  several  million  intelligent  American  citi 
zens  were  clamoring  for  the  demonetization  of  gold 


176  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

and  the  remonetization  of  silver,  with  a  dim  belief 
that  they  had  been  in  favor  of  the  same  things  for 
ten  years  past.  It  is  extraordinary  how  rapidly  our 
people  take  up  the  ideas  of  the  newspapers.  The 
public  mind  seems  to  be  a  tabula  rasa,  ready  to  receive 
the  last  impress  of  the  type.  No  man  in  this  country 
ever  remembers  what  a  newspaper  said  last  week, 
any  more  than  he  can  foresee  what  it  will  say  next 
week;  and  as  to  any  consistency  between  utterances  a 
month  apart,  only  an  idiot  would  expect  that.  The 
mental  appetite  must  have  provender,  and  the  news 
paper  restaurant  furnishes  it;  and  men  eat  with  a  di 
vine  faith,  careless  whether  it  be  a  stall-fed  tenderloin 
or  a  round  from  the  extremity  of  an  omnibus  mule. 
The  rule  is  swallow,  smile,  and  ask  no  questions. 

In  three  weeks  the  whole  people,  with  the  excep 
tion  of  the  readers  of  The  Anli- Monopolist,  and  that 
small  proportion  who  think  for  themselves,  were 
howling  for  the  remonetization  of  silver  and  the 
demonetization  of  gold. 

This,  however,  was  merely  preparatory;  a  sort  of 
greasing  the  wheels  before  corruption  whipped  up 
the  horses  of  the  chariot  of  government. 

All  the  Washington  lobbyists  were  summoned  to 
New  York. 

In  three  weeks  the  House  passed  a  bill  to  remone- 
tize  silver,  to  deny  the  legal-tender  power  to  gold, 
and  to  shut  the  doors  of  the  United  States  mints  in 
the  face  of  the  royal  yellow  metal;  and  all  the  fools 
in  the  nation,  and  they  constitute  a  large  majority  of 


THE  DEMONETIZATION   OF   GOLD.  177 

the  whole  people,  hurrahed  until  they  split  their 
throats. 

I  was  in  despair. 

Sophie  came  to  my  help. 

She  advised  me  to  corrupt  the  corrupters. 

The  bill  had  yet  to  pass  the  Senate.  More  than 
half  the  votes  were  already  bought,  but  not  paid  for, 
to  pass  it. 

Brooks  held  a  conference  with  the  lobbyists.  He 
asked  them  frankly  how  much  Wall  Street  had  given 
them  to  buy  up  Congress.  They  told  him,  for  they 
knew  they  were  dealing  with  the  agent  of  "the  gold 
maker."  Brooks  offered  them  twice  as  much  to  kill 
the  bill  in  the  Senate.  They  agreed  to  do  it.  Wall 
Street  never  suspected  the  fidelity  of  its  agents.  Those 
worthies  filled  their  pockets  from  both  sides;  they 
were  paid  to  corrupt,  and  paid  not  to  corrupt.  The 
Senate  voted  down  the  bill  unanimously.  The 
Senators  were  astonished  that  they  had  remained  vir 
tuous  and  had  voted  with  the  people;  and  I  was 
surprised  that  so  great  a  danger  had  been  so  easily 
averted. 

If  the  bill  had  passed  the  Senate,  my  power  would 
have  been  gone.  Gold  would  not  have  been  worth 
ten  cents  on  the  dollar.  It  would,  indeed,  have  had  as 
much  value  as  the  cement  and  alloys  which  are  used 
to  fill  decayed  teeth,  and  no  more.  No  woman  would 
have  cared  to  wear  ornaments  made  of  a  metal  cheaper 
than  lead.  The  prehistoric  superstition  would  have 
been  deader  than  the  sun -god  Apollo.  The  last 
12 


178  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

remnant  of  sun-worship  would  have  disappeared  from 
human  society. 

But  I  perceived  the  ticklish  ground  on  which  I 
stood. 

It  is  true  I  did  not  believe  in  gold  myself,  but  if 
the  gullible  world  did  not  coDtinue  to  believe  in  it, 
I  could  not  effect  the  reforms  which  I  had  planned. 

And  so  the  next  day  I  sent  a  circular  letter  to  each 
United  States  Senator,  in  which  I  said  that  I  believed 
their  pay  of  five  thousand  dollars  per  year  was  totally 
inadequate  to  the  demands,  social  and  political,  which 
were  made  upon  them;  that  I  did  not  believe  in 
"muzzling  the  ox  thattreadeth  out  the  corn;"  that  it 
"was  hard  for  an  empty  sack  to  stand  upright;"  that 
it  was  unreasonable  to  place  Aladdin  in  the  garden 
of  jewels,  and  not  expect  him  to  fill  his  pockets;  that 
the  administrators  of  hundreds  of  millions  should  be 
placed  above  the  pressure  of  temptation,  and  much 
more  of  the  same  sort;  and  that  I  had,  therefore,  re 
solved  to  give  to  each  one  of  them,  during  his  term  of 
office,  ten  thousand  dollars  a  year  extra,  with  five 
thousand  dollars  a  year  after  the  close  of  his  term 
as  long  as  he  lived,  and  half  as  much  to  his  wife  if 
she  survived  him,  only  conditioned  that  they  always 
voted  on  the  side  of  the  people. 

The  effect  of  this  was  magical.  A  majority  of 
those  Senators  were  naturally  honest  men,  with  a 
strong  sense  of  the  dignity  of  their  position,  and  of 
their  duty  to  the  people  who  had  sent  them  there. 

But  against  these  sentiments  was  the  terrible  pressure 


THE   DEMONETIZATION   OP   GOLD.  179 

for  money  to  maintain  their  state  and  secure  re-elec 
tion;  and  the  more  terrible  thought  that  they  might  be 
perfectly  honest  during  their  six  years,  and  resist  all 
temptations,  and  then  die  in  the  almshouses,  or  live 
in  their  old  age  objects  of  charity  to  relatives  or 
friends.  And  so  they  had  heretofore  sold  themselves, 
and  their  country,  through  what  they  esteemed  the 
highest  wisdom  and  the  profoundest  worldly  prudence. 

But  when  they  found  that  income  enough  was 
insured  them  as  long  as  they  lived,  and  that  their 
families  were  to  be  provided  for,  all  that  was  good  in 
their  natures  rose  to  the  surface,  and  they  began  to 
labor  to  leave  behind  them  great  and  honored  memo 
ries,  as  true  statesmen  and  benefactors  of  their  race. 

There  were  some  who  did  not  need  these  incite 
ments  to  honesty,  and  there  were  others  who  were  like 
monkeys,  and  stole  by  instinct,  and  would  have  pur 
loined  fence-rails  if  they  had  owned  the  planet.  But 
I  had  erected  a  bulwark  against  corruption,  and  I  had 
done  it  openly,  without  yielding  a  particle  to  the  pre 
vailing  evil;  for  while  I  was  ready  to  buy  lobbyists, 
I  would  not  corrupt  legislators. 

But  there  are  no  words  to  express  the  unbounded 
wrath  of  Wall  Street.  The  New  York  daily  papers 
were  one  continual  scream  of  impotent  rage.  They 
were  full  of  caricatures  in  which  awe  of  my  power 
was  curiously  blended  with  hate  of  my  person. 

An  attempt  was  made  to  blow  up  my  residence 
with  dynamite  in  the  middle  of  the  night.  Fortu 
nately  Sophie  and  I  were,  at  our  secret  place  of  abode, 


180  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

but  the  front  of  the  house  was  largely  destroyed, 
every  window  smashed  for  a  mile  in  every  direction. 

There  was  a  great  uproar  in  the  newspapers,  and 
public  sympathy  was  largely  on  my  side. 

I  moved  into  another  house  and  established  triple 
rows  of  guards. 


CHAPTER  XXV. 

I   AM    ELECTED    PRESIDENT. 

THE  election  of  a  president  was  at  hand. 

The  People's  Party  nominated  me  for  the  presi 
dency.  The  subsequent  rush  of  politicians  was  awful. 

They  wanted  a  barrel — no,  not  a  barrel,  a  hogs 
head!  Nay,  a  hundred  hogsheads!  A  rich  man 
buys  not  only  by  his  money,  but  by  the  reputation 
that  he  has  the  money.  Men  bow  to  the  sceptre  even 
before  it  is  wielded. 

The  Democratic  National  Convention  met.  There 
was  a  tremendous  battle  between  Wall  Street  and 
the  railroads  on  the  one  side,  and  the  active  politicians 
and  the  progressive  young  men  on  the  other.  The 
Monopolists  poured  out  their  wealth  like  water.  I 
refused  to  pay  a  cent.  I  should  have  been  beaten 
out  of  sight,  but  that  an  adventurous  Missourian, 
without  authority  from  any  one,  pledged  vast  sums  of 
money  to  all  who  would  vote  for  me.  He  carried 
the  day;  then  he  repudiated  his  promises,  and  asked 
for  a  place  in  the  cabinet! 

The  Republican  National  Convention  met.  They 
had  to  appoint  special  police  to  keep  the  peace  among 

181 


182  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

the  delegates;  each  side  tried  to  howl  the  other  down; 
they  tore  up  each  other's  banners;  pounded  each 
other  over  the  heads  with  the  flag-staffs,  and  yelled 
and  screamed  like  a  pack  of  Comanche  lunatics. 
This  is  what  they  called  a  "deliberative  assembly," 
and  the  "force  of  public  opinion."  The  chairman 
sold  out  both  factions  and  was  applauded  equally  by 
both.  The  four  walls  of  the  immense  convention  hall 
were  lined  with  bars,  and  the  bar-tenders  stood  three 
feet  apart,  behind  barricades  of  bottles;  and  liquor 
enough  flowed  to  have  floated  the  American  navy — 
which  isn't  saying  much,  either. 

The  battle  was  between  the  Plutocrats  who  wanted 
to  defeat  me,  and  the  politicians  who  wanted  the 
offices,  and  it  was  a  terrible  one. 

At  last  Flanagan  of  Texas  mounted  the  shoulders 
of  a  big  fellow  from  Arkansas,  and  standing  upright 
made  a  speech  which  settled  the  matter. 

"What  are  we  here  for?"  shrieked  Mr.  Flanagan. 
"Don't  you  d — d  fools  know  that  this  isn't  a  ques 
tion  of  principle,  but  of  success?  Are  you  asses 
enough  to  want  to  buck  agin  a  man  who  can  put  ten 
million  dollars  into  the  campaign  fund  every  ten  min 
utes?  Think  of  it!  Ten  million  dollars  every  ten 
minutes!  O  LORD!  " 

The  thousands  of  eyes  that  were  uplifted  to  the 
speaker  grew  moist  at  the  words,  and  their  mouths 
drooled;  and  with  an  unearthly  and  overwhelming 
yell,  the  Eepublican  National  Convention  indorsed 
my  nomination  for  the  presidency,  and  smashed  the 


I   AM   ELECTED    PRESIDENT.  183 

portraits  of  all  the  other  candidates  amid  howls  of 
savage  execration. 

The  next  day  the  national  committees  of  the 
Democratic  and  Republican  parties  bolted!  They 
met  in  every  State  in  the  Union  and  united  to  form  a 
new  party — a  gold-bug  party,  to  defend  vested  rights 
and  special  privileges;  to  remonetize  silver  and 
demonetize  gold.  They  also  demanded,  as  my  trans 
continental  railroad  had  smashed  the  profits  out  of 
all  the  other  railroads,  that  the  nation  must  purchase 
and  own  at  once  all  the  railroads.  They  wanted  to 
sell  the  government  something  that  was  now  worth 
less. 

It  was  enough  to  make  one's  head  swim  to  see  the 
men  who  had  but  lately  been  denouncing  silver  and 
praising  gold,  wheel  around  and  denounce  gold  and 
praise  silver.  And  it  was  equally  perplexing  to 
behold  statesmen  who  had  declared  government  owner 
ship  of  railroads  to  be  communism  while  the  corpora 
tions  had  the  people  by  the  throat,  now  organizing  a 
new  party  to  force  the  government  to  buy  all  the 
railroads,  because  the  people  had  the  corporations  by 
the  throat.  I  was  reminded  of  Abraham  Lincoln's 
story  of  the  two  drunken  men  who  got  into  a  fight 
with  their  overcoats  on,  and  they  rolled  and  tumbled 
until  each  man  had  fought  himself  out  of  his  own 
overcoat  and  into  the  overcoat  of  the  other  fellow. 

But  the  moment  the  local  committees  of  the  two 
old  organizations  united  the  spell  of  party  supersti 
tion  was  broken  and  their  followers  fled  from  them 


184  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

in  swarms.     They  dissolved  until    there    was  noth 
ing  left  of  the  two  armies  but  the  brigadier-generals. 
The  fellows  with  the  muskets  and  knapsacks  had  all 
trudged  off  into  the  People's  Party  camp. 
I  was  elected  by  an  overwhelming  vote. 


CHAPTEE  XXYI. 

A    CIVIL    WAR   PROBABLE. 

I  AM  sorry  to  say  Wall  Street  did  not  accept  the 
results  of  the  election  with  anything  like  the  satisfac 
tion  it  gave  Sophie.  In  fact,  they  would  not  accept 
them  at  all. 

After  having  spent  millions  of  dollars  in  fruitless 
efforts  to  buy  up  the  voters  to  vote  against  me,  they 
now  declared  that  I  had  corrupted  the  ballot-boxes, 
and  that  the  election  was  void. 

Leading  financiers  from  London,  Paris,  and  Berlin 
came  over  and  counselled  with  them,  for  the  gold  I 
was  pouring  out  was  smashing  things  all  over  Europe. 

Their  first  step  was  to  corrupt  the  worthy  man 
who  then  held  the  office  of  President  of  the  United 
States.  A  few  hundred  thousand  dollars  made  him 
all  right.  He  agreed  to  hold  on  and  use  the  army 
of  the  United  States,  if  necessary,  to  keep  me  out 
of  the  presidential  office. 

Then  they  proceeded  to  quietly  buy  up  enough 
•electors  to  turn  the  scale  by  casting  their  votes  for 
the  candidates  of  the  new  gold-bug  party. 

In  the  mean  time,  the  New  York  newspapers,  and 
185 


186  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

all  the  journals  that  followed  after  them,  were  fairly 
blazing  with  daily  appeals  to  the  passions  of  the 
multitude. 

The  plan  was  to  capture  the  forms  of  government, 
and  put  the  people  in  the  attitude  of  rebels  against 
constituted  authority.  Then,  without  exposing  their 
precious  carcasses  to  danger  or  their  pockets  to  loss, 
they  would  organize  armies,  to  be  paid  by  national 
taxation,  to  shoot  down  the  voters.  If  the  Eepublic 
perished  in  the  struggle  and  a  despotism  was  estab 
lished,  so  much  the  better. 

The  people  of  New  York  City,  by  the  unanimous 
and  continual  outcries  of  the  daily  press,  had  come 
to  regard  me  as  a  destructive  demon,  and  were  ready 
to  risk  their  lives  to  destroy  me — indeed,  companies, 
regiments,  and  brigades  were  already  organized  and 
equipped  by  the  contributions  of  the  Plutocracy; 
daily  drillings  took  place  with  Gatling  guns  and 
rifles;  and  all  the  pride,  pomp,  and  circumstance  of 
glorious  war  was  invoked  against  me. 

I  was  in  great  perplexity. 

What  could  I  do?  If  I  raised  an  army  I  should 
appear  as  a  rebel,  and  I  would  have  to  fight  the  whole 
power  of  the  Federal  government,  backed  up,  if  neces 
sary,  by  foreign  nations.  If  I  stood  still,  the  cunning 
enemy  would  weave  their  nets  of  corruption  about 
me,  and  sooner  or  later  the  conflict  would  have  to 
come. 

In  this  dilemma,  my  good  angel — Sophie — as  usual, 
came  to  my  rescue. 


A  CIVIL  WAR   PROBABLE.  187 

"Who  owns  these  newspapers  that  are  tarring  on 
the  people  to  war?"  she  asked. 

"Why,"  said  I,  "they  are  owned  by  joint  stock 
companies,  made  up  of  many  different  stockholders." 

"Is  the  stock  for  sale?"  she  inquired. 

"Yes,"  I  said,  "it  could  be  picked  up  on  the  mar 
ket,  I  have  no  doubt.  But  what  are  you  trying  to 
get  at?" 

"What  is  to  prevent  you,  with  your  boundless 
wealth,"  she  asked,  "from  sending  an  agent  to  New 
York  to  quietly  buy  up,  through  brokers,  a  majority 
of  the  stock  of  each  of  the  leading  newspapers?" 

I  sprang  up  with  delight. 

"Precisely  so,"  I  cried,  "a  splendid  idea!  Con 
trolling  the  stock,  we  would  control  the  utterances  of 
the  papers,  and  controlling  these  we  would  control 
the  opinions  of  the  people.  The  Plutocrats  would  be 
disarmed.  They  could  no  longer  lash  the  masses  to 
white  heat  and  get  them  to  fight  for  them ;  they  would 
not  fight  for  themselves,  and  the  whole  rebellion 
would  collapse.  A  splendid  plan!" 

"But,"  she  said,  "you  must  proceed  with  great 
caution.  If  the  enemy  surmised  your  plans,  they 
would  soon  secure  control  of  the  stock.  Not  a  whis 
per  must  be  uttered  to  alarm  them  until  everything  is 
secure.  Who  can  you  send  to  New  York?" 

"Brooks?"  I  asked. 

"No,"  she  replied,  "he  is  too  well  known.  It 
must  be  some  one  that  has  no  apparent  connection 
with  you." 


188  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

"Then  let  us  advise  with  Brooks,"  I  said;  "he  is 
perfectly  trustworthy." 

Brooks  suggested  the  name  of  one  of  his  deputies 
— a  Mr.  Morton — a  reliable,  discreet,  elderly  man,  who 
looked  the  capitalist  to  the  life. 

Mr.  Morton  was  sent  for,  and  we  explained  just 
what  he  was  to  do.  A  very  large  sum  was  delivered 
to  him  in  cash,  for  drafts  might  be  traced,  and  arrange 
ments  were  made  to  forward  him  additional  sums  by 
express  as  they  were  needed. 

Mr.  Morton  took  his  departure  at  once  for  New 
York. 


CHAPTER  -XXVII. 

HOW   THE   WAR   WAS   AVERTED. 

WHEN  Mr.  Morton  reached  New  York  lie  proceeded 
quietly,  under  the  character  of  a  wealthy  gentleman 
seeking  investments,  to  buy  up,  through  two  or  three 
active  brokers,  all  manner  of  securities,  railroad  stocks, 
bank  stocks,  manufacturing  stocks,  and  newspaper 
stocks.  The  latter  he  retained,  the  others  he  quietly 
sold  again  in  a  few  days  through  other  brokers,  as 
if  he  was  speculating  in  them.  Thus,  day  after  day, 
he  secured  blocks  of  stocks  in  the  leading  newspaper 
corporations.  He  had  agents  out  hunting  them  up 
in  all  directions,  but  always  he  purchased  quantities 
of  other  stocks  with  them,  in  order  to  avoid  suspicion. 

In  two  weeks  Brooks  brought  me  this  telegram : 

"It  is  finished. 

"  MORTON.  " 

Sophie  and  I  had  been  in  daily  consultation  about 
this  important  business,  and  when  Morton's  dispatch 
announced  that  the  trap  was  ready  to  be  sprung, 
Sophie  insisted  that  she  must  go  to  New  York  and 
spring  it,  and  have  the  satisfaction  of  humbling  the 

189 


190  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

wretches  who  had  so  abused  and  denounced  her  good 
husband.  I  could  not  refuse  her  that  gratification. 

The  next  day  the  general  manager  of  the  New  York 
Thunderer  received  a  polite  note  from  a  leading  mem 
ber  of  the  stock  exchange,  asking  him  to  be  kind 
enough  to  step  to  his  office,  a  few  blocks  distant,  to 
meet  a  lady,  Mrs.  Sophie  Benezet,  the  wife  of  the 
President-elect,  on  some  business  of  great  importance 
to  himself  and  his  journal. 

In  a  little  while  the  general  manager  was  shown 
into  the  back  office,  where  Sophie,  Brooks,  and  Mr. 
Morton  awaited  him. 

"Mr.  Newhall,"  said  Mr.  Morton,  after  the  pre 
liminary  introductions,  "may  I  ask  what  is  the  total 
amount  of  the  stock  of  your  corporation?" 

"  It  is  two  million  seven  hundred  and  fifty  thousand 
dollars,"  replied  Mr.  Newhall. 

"  Then  one  million  three  hundred  and  seventy-six 
thousand  dollars  would  constitute  a  majority  of  that 
stock?" 

"Certainly." 

"Now,  Mr.  Newhall,"  said  Mr.  Morton,  untying  a 
package,  "please  examine  these  certificates  of  stock, 
and,  after  making  sure  that  they  are  bona  jide,  please 
see  how  much  they  amount  to." 

The  general  manager  of  the  Thunderer  was  by  this 
time  deeply  interested.  He  examined  the  certificates 
critically. 

"Are  they  all  right?"  asked  Morton. 

"Perfectly  so,"  was  the  reply. 


HOW   THE   WAR  WAS  AVERTED.  191 

"  How  much,  do  they  amount  to  ?  "  inquired  Morton. 

"Exactly  one  million  five  hundred  thousand  dol 
lars." 

"  Precisely.  You  will  see  that  they  are  all  assigned 
to  me,  Zebulon  Morton." 

"Yes." 

"Then  I  am  the  owner  of  the  Daily  Thunderer." 

"Undoubtedly,"  replied  Mr.  JSTewhall,  rather  pale 
and  very  much  excited. 

"Is  it  necessary  for  me  to  call  .a  meeting  and  elect 
new  officers,  or  will  you  accept  my  orders?" 

"That  is  but  a  form.  You  own  the  paper  and 
have  a  right  to  control  it  in  every  particular.  My 
resignation  of  the  office  of  general  manager  is  at 
your  service." 

"I  do  not  want  it.  You  will  please  continue  in 
your  place.  It  will  rest  with  the  Lady  President  to 
say  whether  any  changes  will  be  made  in  the  em 
ployees  of  the  paper." 

Here  Sophie  spoke: 

"  Mr.  Newhall,  who  has  been  writing  the  leading 
editorials  of  your  paper  for  the  last  month,  in  which 
my  husband  has  been  so  savagely  assailed?" 

"  They  are  nearly  all  from  the  pen  of  Mr.  Joseph 
A.  Whitlock,  a  recent  graduate  of  Yale  College." 

"Is  he  an  enemy  of  my  husband?" 

"  Not  at  all.  He  admires  him — and  he  greatly  ad 
mires — permit  me  to  say — his  wife,"  and  Mr.  Newhall 
bowed  respectfully  to  Sophie. 

"Why,  then,  does  he  assail  him  so  violently. " 


192  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE, 

"That,  my  dear  madam,"  said  Mr.  Newhall,  "was 
simply  the  policy  of  the  paper.  The  stockholders 
desired  it.  Whitlock  would  have  abused  his  mother 
in  the  same  way,  if  he  had  received  orders  to  that  ef 
fect  from  me." 

"Horrible!  horrible!"  said  Sophie,  "that  a  man 
should  place  education,  culture,  talent,  at  the  service 
of  another,  to  the  surrender  of  conscience.  It  is  the 
lowest  possible  species  of  mental  prostitution.  Why, 
this  man,  while  admiring  my  husband  and  myself, 
would  have  lashed  the  populace  into  a  frenzy  to  hang 
us  both,  and  have  justified  the  act." 

"Oh,  no,  madam,"  replied  Mr.  Newhall,  "you  do 
him  injustice.  As  soon  as  you  were  hanged  he  would 
have  denounced  the  act,  and  helped  to  bring  the 
guilty  parties  to  justice.  And  he  would  probably 
have  written  very  handsome  obituary  notices  of  both 
of  you." 

"In  other  words,"  said  Sophie,  "this  college 
graduate,  after  exciting  the  mob  to  kill  two  worthy 
people,  whom  he  admired,  would  then  insist  that  the 
mob  should  itself  be  hanged  for  doing  his  work?" 

"  Precisely.  You,  of  course,  desire  me  to  dismiss 
Mr.  Whitlock.  I  shall  do  so  at  once." 

"Not  at  all,"  replied  Sophie,  "let  him  keep  his 
place.  It  is  impossible  to  feel  anything  but  utter 
and  absolute  contempt  for  such  superserviceable  viru 
lence,.  Cleopatra  might  just  as  well  have  felt  incensed 
at  the  asp  for  stinging  her.  Give  him  this  paper 
and  tell  him  if  he  can  turn  the  torrent  of  his  savage 


HOW    THE   WAR   WAS   AVERTED.  193 

denunciation,  day  after  day,  along  the  lines  herein 
indicated,  he  can  sit  in  the  editorial  chair  to  the  end 
of  his  days,  distilling  poison.  Good-day,  sir.  Be 
good  enough  to  say  nothing  of  the  change  of  owner 
ship  of  the  paper  to  any  one  outside  of  the  office." 

And  Mr.  Newhall  bowed  himself  out,  to  convey  to 
the  official  force  of  the  Thunderer  the  startling  infor 
mation  that  the  paper  was  now  owned  by  "the  gold- 
maker,"  the  President-elect. 

Mr.  Whitlock,  a  gaunt,  cadaverous,  sickly-looking 
youth,  received  his  instructions  from  Mr.  Newhall, 
read  the  memoranda  made  by  Sophie,  lit  a  fresh  pipe 
of  tobacco,  and,  without  a  blush  or  a  single  sensation 
of  abasement,  proceeded  to  exude  from  his  mental 
venom-bag  an  article  that  would  astonish  all  New 
York  on  the  morrow. 

And  all  day  long  Sophie,  Brooks,  and  Morton 
received  one  general  manager  after  another,  and 
went  through  the  same  formula  of  exhibiting  the 
certificates  of  stock,  and  dismissing  them,  with  the 
same  directions  and  injunctions  as  to  temporary  se 
crecy. 

13 


CHAPTER  XXVIII. 

PLUTOCRACY    PARALYZED. 

THE  next  morning  the  thunder  roared  and  the 
lightning  flashed  out  of  a  clear  sky  around  the  whole 
heavens. 

To  fully  realize  the  change  of  front,  let  us  take  a 
leading  editorial  of  the  Thunderer  the  day  before 
and  another  of  the  day  after  Mr.  NewhalPs  interview 
with  Sophie: 

THE  DAY  BEFORE. 

The  evidences  multiply  that  the  free  people  of  this  country 
are  not  willing  to  submit  patiently  to  the  corrupt  domination 
of  that  ignorant  and  brutal  peasant  barbarian  of  Kansas,  who 
by  some  accident  (for  the  fellow  has  not  the  first  element  of 
scientific  acquirement  in  his  composition)  has  discovered  the 
art  of  transmuting  the  baser  metals  into  something  that  looks 
like  gold ;  we  say  looks  like  gold,  for  in  the  judgment  of 
experts,  it  is  simply  an  imitation  of  that  metal.  By  squan 
dering  this  counterfeited  compound  broadcast  he  has  corrupted 
the  ballot-boxes,  and  obtained  a  seeming  claim  upon  the 
presidency ;  but  the  very  electors  he  has  bought  up  have  be 
come  disgusted  with  the  part  they  are  expected  to  play,  and 
refuse,  like  good  citizens,  to  cast  their  votes  for  their  dis 
honored  candidate  ;  and  all  the  schemes  of  the  daring  dem 
agogue  are  likely  to  fall  to  the  ground. 

It  is  impossible  to  enumerate  the  evils  this  man  and  his 
wife — a  fit  companion,  whom  he  married  out  of  a  prison — 

194 


PLUTOCRACY  PARALYZED.  195 

have  inflicted  upon  the  people  of  this  country.  Hundreds 
and  thousands  of  clothing  manufacturers  have  been  forced 
to  suspend  business  or  go  into  bankruptcy.  In  this  city 
thousands  of  houses,  and  tens  of  thousands  of  tenement- 
rooms  stand  empty,  to  the  great  injury  of  all  business.  The 
widows  and  orphans  who  have  been  brought  to  poverty  by 
the  confiscation  of  their  railroad  stock — "  watered  stock  " 
this  wretch  called  it — are  innumerable  ;  their  name  is  legion. 
Millions  of  people  have  been  gathered  into  the  cities  he  has 
established  along  his  railroads,  and  the  day  is  near  at  hand 
when  this  South  Sea  bubble  will  break,  and  they  will  be  left 
penniless.  Our  banking  houses  are  overloaded  with  vast  de 
posits  of  gold,  silver,  and  paper  money,  for  which  there  are 
no  applicants ;  and  many  thousands  of  cultured  men  and 
women  look  forward  with  horror  to  the  prospect  before  them  : 
a  future  in  which  they  will  have  to  employ  their  wealth  in 
the  vicissitudes  of  trade  and  manufactures,  or  starve ! 

A  thousand  Judas  Iscariots,  ten  thousand  Benedict 
Arnolds,  could  not  have  effected  the  evil  which  this  Kansas 
boor  has  accomplished  in  a  few  short  years.  And  now  he 
seeks  to  take  possession  of  the  presidency,  and  wield  the 
whole  power  of  the  national  government  for  the  further 
working  out  of  his  terrible  plans.  The  superstitious  will  see 
in  this  Alaric,  this  Attila,  this  Tamburlaine,  a  visible  inter 
vention  of  Satan  in  the  affairs  of  the  world,  for  the  destruc 
tion  of  mankind. 

Let  the  people  organize.  It  is  better  that  the  people  should 
die,  baked  in  their  own  blood,  than  tamely  and  peacefully 
submit  to  this  monster. 

THE  DAY  AFTER. 

There  is  no  doubt  that  a  conspiracy  has  been  organized 
among  the  bankers  and  moneyed  corporations  of  this  country 
to  plunge  our  whole  land  into  civil  war. 

Tho  Thunderer  has  repeatedly  sounded  a  note  of  warning 
of  the  dangers  into  which  we  are  drifting. 

The  Plutocracy  has  sent  its  agents  to  some  of  the  electors, 
who  were  chosen  by  the  people  of  the  different  States,  to  vote 


196  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

for  that  great  statesman  and  philanthropist,  the  Honorable 
Ephraim  Benezet,  of  Kansas,  for  President  of  the  United 
States  ;  and  have  bought  them  up  to  vote  against  him  ;  in  the 
hope  that,  amid  the  uproar  and  confusion  that  would  follow, 
the  liberties  of  the  Republic  might  be  forever  destroyed,  and 
an  empire  established  upon  the  ruins  of  liberty,  of  which 
Plutocracy  would  be  the  corner-stone.  A  number  of  our  cor 
rupt  contemporaries,  we  are  sorry  to  say,  have  been  willingly 
lending  themselves  to  this  damnable  conspiracy,  and  have 
been  inciting  the  people  to  arm  themselves  and  prepare  for 
war.  John  A.  Jenkins,  President  of  the  First  Nationalist 
Bank ;  William  Smithers,  President  of  the  Chemicalistic 
Bank  ;  Thomas  Burke,  President  of  the  Androscoggin  &  South 
Shore  Railroad  Company,  and  Henry  Arbuthnot,  of  the 
Transcontinental  Electric  Line,  are  the  chief  leaders  in  this 
desperate  and  diabolical  game  of  treason  and  rebellion.  If 
there  is  any  blood  to  be  shed,  let  it  be  the  blood  of  these 
men  (their  residences  can  be  found  in  the  directory) ,  who  are 
inciting  the  mob  to  murder  the  greatest  benefactor  of  the 
human  race  that  has  appeared  since  the  time  of  Socrates. 

By  his  powerful  genius  Ephraim  Benezet  has  solved  the 
problem  which  has  occupied  the  minds  of  the  greatest  of 
mankind  for  a  thousand  years — the  transmutation  of  the 
baser  metals  into  gold.  And  instead  of  using  this  tremen 
dous  power  for  his  own  gratification  or  aggrandizement,  he 
has  employed  it  to  make  millions  happy.  His  lovely  spouse, 
whom  to  know  is  to  admire  and  honor,  has  lifted  up  the 
status  of  womanhood  in  this  whole  land,  and  brought  joy  to 
a  million  hearts  of  poor  working  women.  Home  is  rendered 
safe,  virtue  triumphant  through  her  great  and  humane 
labors.  The  President-elect,  by  his  loans  to  the  mortgaged 
multitude,  at  two  per  cent  per  annum,  has  broken  the  back 
of  the  money-lending  oligarchy,  and  given  the  country  the 
tremendous  prosperity  which  it  now  enjoys.  By  the  build 
ing  of  the  great  city  of  Cooperation,  he  has  shown  how  the 
poorest  workingman  can  procure,  for  a  mere  pittance,  a  home 
which  thousands  of  dollars  would  not  buy  in  a  city  of  the 
same  population.  While,  on  the  other  hand,  his  great  trans 
continental  railroad  has  reduced  the  cost  of  transportation  of 


PLUTOCRACY  PARALYZED.          197 

persons  and  property  enormously ;  has  increased  travel  and 
intercourse  among  the  people ,  and  has  literally  blotted  out 
seven  billion  dollars  of  "watered  stock,"  which  was  drawing 
nearly  five  hundred  million  dollars'  interest  annually  out  of 
the  pockets  of  industiy, 

It  is  for  these  vast  works  of  public  beneficence  that  Jen 
kins,  Smithers,  Burke,  Arbuthnot,  and  their  wicked  associ 
ates  hate  him,  and  have  sought  to  create  a  civil  war  and 
deluge  the  land  in  fraternal  blood ;  they  know  very  well 
that  if  Ephraim  Benezet  goes  into  the  White  House,  he  will 
use  his  additional  powers  for  the  good  of  the  human  race, 
and  the  increased  prosperity  of  every  man  and  woman  on 
earth. 

No  words  can  be  too  strong  to  apply  to  these  desperate  mis 
creants  who,  for  a  little  personal  profit,  would  wreck  the 
whole  world.  We  are  surprised  that  the  public  has  permitted 
them  to  so  long  pollute  the  atmosphere  of  this  fair  city  with 
their  presence.  They  should  be  strung  up  to  the  nearest 
lamp -posts. 

Every  other  daily  paper  in  New  York  City  con 
tained  similar  articles.  There  was  only  one  editor 
who  refused  to  change  front  in  twenty-four  hours 
in  this  shameful  way.  I  have  forgotten  his  name. 
He  resigned  his  place.  But  it  was  at  once  filled  by 
another  who  urged  the  multitude  to  mob  the  houses 
of  Jenkins  and  his  associates. 

There  are  no  words  that  can  paint  the  utter  aston 
ishment  of  the  people  of  New  York  when  they  rose 
from  their  beds  and  read  the  morning  papers.  They 
had  to  peruse  the  editorials  two  and  three  times  over 
to  get  the  meaning  into  their  inner  consciousness. 
The  old  gentlemen  rubbed  their  spectacles  vigorously, 
and  looked  through  the  glasses  carefully,  as  if  they 
had  been  bewitched.  The  multitude  began  to  gather 


198  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

and  murmur,  in  knots,  on  the  street  corners.  "It 
was  all  true,"  they  said,  "President  Benezet  had 
done  a  great  work  for  the  good  of  all  of  them ;  and  yet 
some  of  them  had  been  incited  by  the  capitalists  to 
mob  and  kill  him,  or  to  enlist  and  fight  against  him." 
No  man  thought  of  accusing  the  newspapers  of  incon 
sistency,  any  more  than  they  would  have  complained 
of  the  fences,  because  they  did  not  have  the  same  show 
bills  plastered  over  them  to-day  that  they  had  yester 
day.  But  the  wrath  against  the  bankers  rose  high. 

And  there  was  a  great  meeting  of  wealthy  men  in 
a  large  room  on  Broad  Street,  summoned  by  tele 
phonic  and  telegraphic  messages.  Guards  stood  at  the 
door.  A  committee  was  at  once  dispatched  to  in 
quire  how  and  why  the  newspapers  had  dared  to 
change  front  in  that  way.  The  committee  returned  in 
an  hour  or  two,  and  reported  that  twenty  millions  of 
dollars  had  been  invested  by  Ephraim  Benezet  in  the 
stock  of  the  principal  journals,  and  that  he  now 
owned  and  controlled  them  all. 

Awe  fell  upon,  the  assemblage  at  this  statement. 
They  perceived  that  they  were  disarmed,  powerless. 
Their  tongues  were  plucked  out.  Their  power  to  do 
evil  was  gone. 

But  the  committee  made  a  still  more  alarming  state 
ment:  they  reported  that  mobs  were  gathering  in 
every  part  of  the  city,  full  of  imprecations  and 
threats  of  death  against  the  rich  men  of  the  city. 

The  meeting  dissolved  as  if  by  magic,  and  every 
man  made  for  the  nearest  railroad  station,  leaving  his 


PLUTOCRACY    PARALYZED.  199 

wife  and  children  to  the  chances  of  the  mobs.  It  is 
true  they  sent  telegraphic  messages  from  the  first 
station  the  trains  stopped  at,  ordering  their  families 
to  join  them  without  a  moment's  delay  at  their 
country  seats. 

And  so  the  civil  war  ended. 

The  bribed  electors  voted  for  me,  with  the  money 
of  the  Plutocracy  in  their  pockets;  and  everything 
was  lovely ;  virtue  was  rewarded,  and  there  was  peace 
in  the  land. 


CHAPTER  XXIX. 

MY    INAUGURAL    MESSAGE. 

MY  popularity  was  greater  than  ever.  Most  of 
the  newspapers  of  the  country  followed  the  lead  of 
the  New  York  editors,  re-casting  their  ideas,  as  usual, 
into  a  variety  of  new  forms.  Those  who  liked  me 
went  into  ecstasies.  Those  who  did  not  praised 
Sophie.  For  Sophie  was  altogether  admirable. 

Washington  had  never  before  seen  such  crowds  as 
swarmed  into  it  on  the  fourth  of  March,  and  during 
the  previous  week.  The  universal  prosperity  and  the 
cheap  railroad  fares  set  every  one  to  travelling.  A 
man  or  woman  could  see  the  world  for  little  more 
than  it  cost  to  stay  at  home.  The  poet  says: 

"Home-keeping  youths  have  ever  homely  wits," 

and  the  people  were  glad  to  travel ;  the  whole  country 
swarmed  with  smiling  happy  faces,  and  life  looked 
like  a  universal  pic-nic.  And  the  children!  Even 
the  mechanics'  children  were  handsome,  hearty,  and 
well  dressed;  and  in  their  gay  colors  they  looked 
like  a  flower  garden.  In  fact,  you  could  scarcely 
tell  the  working-man  and  his  family  from  the  mem- 

200 


MY    INAUGURAL   MESSAGE.  201 

bers  of  the  mercantile  class;  shorter  hours  of  labor 
and  relief  from  a  hundred  oppressions  had  lifted  them 
up  into  a  contented,  well-fed,  well-clad  people.  The 
increase  of  mental  activity  consequent  on  increased 
prosperity  was  something  astonishing.  Every  man 
and  woman  had  a  book  or  a  newspaper.  The  pursuit 
of  authorship  became  the  most  profitable  in  the  coun-. 
try;  any  man  who  could  instruct  or  entertain* the 
multitude  had  his  fortune  made.  The  cars,  the  shops, 
the  highways,  and  the  by-ways  rang  with  continual 
laughter.  Men  and  women  sang  as  they  worked, 
and  they  worked  with  marvellous  zeal,  for  every 
stroke  of  their  muscles  distilled  money  into  their 
own  pockets,  and  enjoyments  into  their  own  souls. 
Even  the  aristocracy,  when  they  found  that  no  one 
would  borrow  their  dollars  and  become  their  bond 
slaves,  entered  into  various  business  enterprises  on 
their  own  account,  and  the  universal  prosperity  car 
ried  them  forward  to  greater  wealth.  And  the  churches 
swarmed — not  with  women  alone,  but  with  sturdy 
men,  who  thanked  God  because  they  had  something 
more  than  mere  life,  painful  and  perplexed,  to  thank 
Him  for.  They  thanked  Him  for  the  glory  of  the 
world  and  the  beauty  of  justice,  fair  play,  and  free 
dom,  and  the  delights  of  loving  one  another.  And 
the  preachers  forgot  the  past  to  preach  about  the 
present.  They  realized  that  God  not  only  was  but  is; 
and  that  the  best  way  to  worship  the  Creator  is  to 
make  his  creatures  happy.  And  dogmas  disappeared 
in  deeds.  And  Christ  came  out  of  the  dark  and 


202  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

brutal  and  barbarous  past,  which  murdered  him,  and 
walked  triumphant  through  the  hearts  of  millions  of 
happy,  laughing,  cultured  people  who  loved  him. 
Oh,  it  was  a  world  worth  living  in! 

And  upon  these  matters  I  dwelt  in  mj  inaugural 
message. 

I  pointed  out  that  there  was  but  one  thing  that  pre 
vented  our  nation  from  rising  to  still  higher  levels  of 
greatness  and  happiness — that  was,  the  Old  World. 

"America,"  I  said,  "was  united  by  a  ligament  to 
a  corpse — Europe!  [Sensation.]  Decay  and  death 
spread  along  the  tides  of  commercial  intercourse  from 
the  rotten  to  the  living.  Every  oppression  practised 
beyond  the  Atlantic  was  represented  by  the  degrada 
tion  of  labor  in  America.  [Cheers.]  Our  politics  had 
been  distorted  for  nearly  a  century  by  attempts  to 
fence  out,  by  tariff  legislation,  the  goods  made  by 
the  pauper-labor  of  Europe.  But  when  we  had  fenced 
out  the  goods  made  by  the  oppressed  laborers  of  the 
Old  World,  the  laborers  themselves  swarmed  to  our 
shores  in  such  numbers,  and  in  such  depths  of  des 
perate  wretchedness,  that  they  were  used  by  the  capi 
talists  to  break  down  the  wages  of  the  American 
workmen.  [Cheers.]  Hence  followed  a  persistent 
demand  for  legislation  to  close  the  portals  of  the  con 
tinent  against  the  wretched  victims  of  Old- World  in 
justice  and  despotism, 

" '  To  shut  the  gates  of  mercy  on  mankind. ' 
"We  could,  by  wise  laws  and  just  conditions,  lift 


MY  INAUGURAL   MESSAGE.  203 

up  the  toilers  of  our  own  country  to  the  level  of  the 
middle  classes,  but  a  vast  multitude  of  the  miserable 
of  other  lands  clung  to  their  skirts  and  dragged  them 
down.  Our  country  was  the  safety-valve  which  per- 
mitted'the  discontent  of  the  Old  World  to  escape.  If 
that  vent  was  closed,  every  throne  in  Europe  would 
be  blown  up  in  twenty  years.  [Great  cheers.]  For 
the  people  of  the  Old  World,  having  to  choose  between 
death  by  starvation  and  resistance  to  tyrants,  would 
turn  upon  their  oppressors  and  tear  them  to  pieces. 
[Immense  applause.] 

"Europe  to-day  is  an  armed  camp  built  on  the 
prostrate  bodies  of  the  producers.  [Cheers.]  Every 
man  in  the  Old  World  who  toiled  worked  with  a  scowl 
on  his  face  and  a  bayonet  at  his  throat.  [Applause.] 
Every  worker  carried  a  soldier  on  his  back,  who 
reached  down  and  took  the  bread  out  of  his  platter. 
[Great  cheers.] 

"  The  new  civilization  must  extend  a  helping  hand 
to  the  old.  The  whole  moral  influence  of  this  giant 
republic  must  be  thrown  upon  the  side  of  the  people 
in  their  struggles  '  with  kingcraft.  [Long-continued 
applause,  several  times  renewed.]  We  must  with 
draw  our  ministers  from  every  kingdom  and  empire 
in  Europe,  to  emphasize  our  detestation  of  systems  of 
government  which  make  paupers  of  the  producers  of 
all  wealth,  and  drive  those  paupers  across  the  Atlantic 
to  break  down  our  own  prosperity.  [The  whole 
vast  audience,  acres  in  extent,  screamed  for  ten  min 
utes  their  approbation  of  these  sentiments.] 


204  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

"I  do  not  say  we  should  wage  war  upon  the  king 
doms  of  the  Old  World,  and  carry  the  stars  and  stripes 
on  a  crusade  of  liberty  [cheers] ;  but  I  do  say  we 
should  give  the  people  of  the  Old  World  to  under 
stand,  that  they  are  horribly  misgoverned;  that  our 
sympathies  are  with  them ;  and  that  it  is  better  that 
one-half  of  one  generation  should  perish  in  their 
own  heart's  blood,  if  thereby  all  subsequent  genera 
tions  can  be  lifted  up  out  of  inexpressible  misery. 
[Immense  cheering.] 

"What!  Are  we  to  sit  still,  with  cowardly  sel 
fishness,  and  see  wrong  and  inhumanity  triumphant 
and  utter  no  word  against  it.  [Cries  of  "No,  no."] 
Is  the  mighty  republic  to  stand  trembling  before 
the  tinsel  thrones  and  the  pasteboard  crowns,  and  the 
insolvent  brutes  and  debauchees  who  wear  them? 
[Tremendous  applause.]  No,  no;  our  flag  bears  stars 
of  hopes  for  all  the  world,  and  its  stripes  are  stripes 
of  blood  for  the  oppressors  of  humanity.  [Great 
cheering.]  God  Almighty  did  not  intend  that  the  ful- 
mi nations  of  the  Declaration  of  Independence  should 
be  bounded  on  the  east  by  the  Atlantic  Ocean  and 
on  the  west  by  the  Pacific  Ocean.  [Cheers.]  The 
planet  is  not  big  enough  for  truth — the  doctrines  of 
the  Eevolution  of  1776  will  yet  extend  over  all  the 
continents  and  all  the  islands  of  the  sea.  [Great 
applause.]  There  can  be  no  peace  so  long  as  a  single 
toiler  is  denied  the  fruits  of  his  own  industry. 
[Thundering  cheers.]  For  the  first  time,  the  great 
republic  cries  out  to  the  humble  of  all  the  world: 


MY  INAUGURAL  MESSAGE.  205 

'The  blessings  we  enjoy  should  be  yours;  it  is  better 
to  die  fighting  than  live  slaves.'  ' 

It  is  impossible  to  describe  the  enthusiasm  of  the 
people.  The  air  was  white  with  handkerchiefs;  the 
women  cried.  America  had  spoken  through  her  chief 
magistrate,  and  his  voice  rang  like  a  trumpet  peal 
over  all  the  world. 

But  Wall  Street  gnashed  its  teeth  and  tore  its  hair. 
Everything  was  going  to  destruction.  The  devil  had 
broken  loose. 


CHAPTER   XXX. 

EUEOPE     PREPARES    FOR    WAR. 

THE  London  Times  came  out  the  next  day  in  a 
double-leaded  leading  editorial  headed,  "To  your 
Tents,  O  Israel!" 

It  said: 

A  madman  has  been  elevated  to  the  Presidency  of  the 
United  States. 

Filled  with  the  fanaticism  of  that  terrible  people — the 
most  daring,  energetic,  and  warlike  in  the  world — he  has 
proclaimed  destruction  to  the  most  cherished  and  venerable 
institutions  of  England  and  Europe. 

The  "  universal  war  of  opinion, "  so  long  prophesied  by  seers 
and  statesmen,  is  at  hand. 

The  oceanic  republic  is  about  to  overflow  its  dykes  and 
flood  the  world. 

The  first  step  taken  by  this  fearful  man  was  to  pour  forth 
gold  in  unheard-of  quantities,  and  thus  unsettle  the  business 
of  all  nations,  and  shake  the  social  system  to  its  very  foun 
dations.  Already  a  vast  unrest  pervades  all  classes  on  this 
side  of  the  Atlantic.  Men  are  questioning  all  things  that 
do  not  make  for  their  individual  happiness.  Creeds,  doc 
trines,  time  honored  beliefs  are  all  being  cast  into  the  fur 
nace.  Nothing  is  sacred  but  what  these  fanatics  call  "hu 
manity.  "  The  old  theory  that  the  inequalities  of  society 
were  established  by  God,  and  that  the  miseries  of  the  mul 
titude  were  foreordained  by  Divine  Wisdom,  and  that  seem 
ing  injustice  here  was  to  be  made  right  in  another  existence 

206 


EUROPE   PREPARES   FOR  WAR.  207 

elsewhere,  all  these  sublime  doctrines  of  the  fathers  have 
disappeared  before  a  storm  of  sacrilegious  hootings  that  fill 
the  heavens. 

It  may  already  be  too  late  to  save  society  and  order  from 
universal  rout  and  ruin. 

Not  a  moment  is  to  be  lost.  Uuforunately  no  one  fore 
saw  what  this  newly-chosen  lunatic  would  say  in  his  in 
augural  address,  and  the  result  is  that  the  newsgatherers, 
acting  automatically,  have  spread  the  poison  of  his  words 
into  every  home  in  every  country  on  the  continent,  except 
Russia.  His  utterances  have  fallen  like  sparks  of  fire  in  mag 
azines  of  gunpowder  ;  his  voice  rings  over  all  the  world  like 
a  cry  "To  arms  !"  No  man  can  measure  the  injury  already 
inflicted  by  this  insane  miscreant.  All  Europe  is  honey 
combed  by  communistic  ideas.  The  crust  of  social  order  is 
growing  thinner  every  day,  and  beneath  it  is  the  molten, 
blazing  sea  of  Anarchy.  If  the  governments  would  save 
society,  they  must  strike  at  once 

Let  England  take  the  initiative  It  resisted  the  bloody 
flood  of  the  French  Revolution  a  century  ago,  but  now  a 
greater  danger  is  at  hand.  Mirabeau,  Danton,  Robespierre 
are  all  wrapped  up  in  this  western  demagogue,  Benezet ; 
and  France  was  but  a  province  compared  with  the  conti 
nental  area  and  power  of  the  great  republic  of  America. 
Let  the  telegraph  do  the  work  of  diplomacy.  In  the  words 
of  Macbeth — 

"  From  this  hour, 

The  very  firstlings  of  our  heart  must  be 
The  firstlings  of  our  hand. " 

In  twenty-four  hours  England  had  declared  war 
against  the  United  States,  backed  up  by  all  Europe, 
except  the  republics  of  Switzerland  and  France. 
Every  army  was  mobilized,  and  the  Old  World  was  a 
swarming  camp  of  soldiers. 

The  battle  of  the  ages,  between  liberty  and  despot 
ism,  was  at  hand. 


CHAPTER  XXXI. 

THE    CONQUEST    OF    CANADA. 

I  ISSUED  at  once  the  following  call  for  volunteers: 

EXECUTIVE  OFFICE,  WASHINGTON,  D.C, 
To  THE  PEOPLE  OF  THE  UNITED  STATES  :— 
All  the  despotisms  of  Europe  are  moving  to  attack  us. 
The  nation  needs  two  million  men. 

Our  offence  is  that  we  are  free,  and  that  we  dare  speak  in 
behalf  of  freedom. 

The  objects  of  attack  are  •  first,  the  nation ;  secondly,  the 
rights  of  man. 

The  shackles  are  already  forged  that  are  to  chain  our  limbs. 
The  faithful  sons  of  the  republic  must,  at  once,  come  to 
the  rescue  of  their  country. 

Recruiting  offices  will  be  opened  in  very  town  and  city. 
Must  liberty  die  on  this  western  continent,    or  shall   it 
spread  over  all  the  world? 
What  is  your  answer? 

EPHRAIM  BENEZET, 
President  of  the  United  States. 

In  ten  days  two  million  men  were  enrolled.  Old 
and  young  fought  for  the  privilege  of  enlisting. 
This  was  America's  answer  to  infuriated  Europe. 

In  ten  days  more  three  hundred  thousand  men, 
many  of  them  without  uniforms  and  carrying  hunting 
rifles,  but  all  with  the  courage  of  lions,  crossed  into 
Canada  at  Niagara  Falls. 


THE  CONQUEST  OP  CANADA.         209 

The  blow  was  so  sudden  that  resistance  was  impos 
sible. 

Two-thirds  of  the  force,  under  the  command  of 
General  Weaver  of  Iowa,  moved  eastwardly  with 
great  rapidity  and  captured  Ottawa.  The  remainder 
of  the  force,  under  General  Field  of  Virginia,  seized 
the  Canadian  Pacific  Eailroad,  and  in  a  few  days 
they  had  taken  possession  of  Winnipeg,  and  every 
thing  else  between  Lake  Erie  and  Puget  Sound. 
The  French  of  Quebec  refused  to  fight  to  maintain 
English  domination,  and  the  greater  part  of  the 
English-speaking  population  had  been  hungering  for 
"  annexation  "  for  years,  and  cheered  the  starry  banner 
as  it  advanced  into  their  provinces.  In  one  month 
from  the  issue  of  my  call  for  troops,  Canada  had 
fallen  into  our  hands  like  a  ripe  pear. 

It  was  not  conquest.      It  was  simply  occupation. 

General  Norton  of  Illinois  was  left  in  charge  of  the 
forces  in  lower  Canada,  while  General  Ellington  of 
Georgia  assumed  command  of  the  rest  of  the  country. 

I  issued  a  proclamation  declaring  the  several  prov 
inces  territories  of  the  United  States,  with  a  view  of 
future  admission  into  the  Union  as  sovereign  States. 

Recruiting  offices  were  opened  in  all  the  Canadian 
cities,  and  hundreds  of  thousands  of  men,  Irish, 
Scotch,  English,  Germans,  French,  volunteered  for 
service  under  the  stars  and  stripes.  "  One  touch  of 
liberty  made  the  whole  world  kin." 
14 


CHAPTEK  XXXII. 

THE     CONQUEST     OF     IRELAND. 

MIGHTY  forces  were  concentrating  in  England, 
Germany,  Austria,  Russia,  Spain,  and  Italy. 

Attempts  had  been  made  to  arm  the  people  of  the 
Scandinavian  peninsula, but  the  liberty-loving  Swedes, 
Norwegians,  and  Danes  refused  to  make  war  against 
their  kindred  in  America,  and  the  rulers  found  that 
to  force  them  would  breed  revolution. 

It  was  proposed  to  invade  the  United  States  with 
five  million  men  by  way  of  Canada.  But  our  swift 
occupation  of  that  country  put  an  end  to  the  scheme. 
Then  an  attempt  was  made  to  draw  Mexico  into  the 
conspiracy,  and  two  of  the  principal  ministers  of 
Diaz  were  corrupted  by  foreign  gold;  but  that  great 
man  found  it  out  and  incontinently  hanged  them. 
He  then  raised  a  large  army  and  entered  into  a  treaty, 
offensive  and  defensive,  with  the  United  States. 

The  United  States  was  one  universal  workshop. 
The  people  entered  into  the  war  as  they  would  into 
a  holiday  excursion.  The  whole  coast  was  fortified 
at  every  assailable  point,  and  all  the  bays,  harbors, 
and  river-mouths  bristled  with  cannon,  submarine 
vessels,  and  terrible  explosives. 

210 


THE  CONQUEST  OP  IKELAND.         211 

In  the  mean  time  I  had  not  been  idle.  As  soon 
as  I  saw  that  war  was  inevitable,  I  had  ordered  the 
construction  of  three  hundred  steamers,  swift  war 
ships  of  large  capacity.  Immense  numbers  of  men 
worked  day  and  night  upon  them. 

Half  a  million  well-equipped  soldiers,  many  of  them 
gray-headed  veterans  of  the  Civil  War,  from  both 
North  and  South — for  the  South  was  more  zealous 
in  the  defence  of  the  nation,  if  possible,  than  the 
North — were  concentrated  in  Boston,  New  York, 
Philadelphia,  Norfolk,  and  Charleston.  Hither  were 
sent  five  hundred  steamers;  every  passenger  steamer 
had  been  impressed  for  the  work,  and  in  addition  I  had 
levied  upon  all  our  war-ships,  and  at  the  same  hour 
the  work  of  embarkation  began  and  proceeded  rapidly. 
Sealed  orders  were  given  to  tke  commanders,  to  be 
opened  as  soon  as  they  left  port,  directing  them  to 
concentrate  at  that  point  in  the  ocean  where  the  35th 
degree  of  north  latitude  crossed  the  60th  degree  of 
longitude  west  of  Greenwich,  and  sail  thence  directly 
for  the  harbor  of  Queenstown,  Ireland. 

I  established  my  headquarters  on  the  great  steamer 
the  John  Adams  of  Massachusetts.  Sophie  was  with 
me.  I  tried  to  persuade  her  to  remain  behind,  and 
represented  to  her  all  the  dangers  of  the  expedi 
tion;  but  she  was  insensible  to  fear,  and  I  had  to 
yield.  She  was  determined  to  share  all  risks  with 
me,  and,  as  the  event  proved,  she  was  ready  to  follow 
me  to  the  cannon's  mouth. 

It  was  a  lovely  day  in  June  when  we  sailed  out 


212  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

of  New  York  harbor.  The  white  sands  of  Long 
Island  were  alive  with  people,  and  gayly  decorated 
pleasure-boats  darted  to  and  fro  breathing  delicious 
music.  All  cheered  us,  for,  while  they  did  not  know 
our  destination,  they  surmised  that  something  impor 
tant  was  about  to  be  undertaken. 

The  sea  was  like  glass  when  our  large  flotilla 
reached  the  trysting-place.  The  ships  from  Boston 
had  already  arrived,  and  the  next  day  our  entire 
squadron  had  safely  concentrated,  and  we  moved  east 
ward,  the  grandest  armada  that  had  ever  sailed  the 
seas. 

The  ocean  roughened  a  little  as  we  approached  the 
British  Islands,  but  Providence,  which  had  sent  the 
tempests  that  overthrew  King  Philip  the  Second's 
slave-making  expedition,  stilled  the  winds  in  their 
caves,  because  He  knew  we  carried  with  us  the  banner 
of  liberation  for  mankind. 

I  had  selected  Cork,  or  Queenstown  harbor,  as  our 
point  of  destination,  because  the  whole  south  coast  of 
Ireland  is  a  mass  of  bays  and  indentations,  and  I 
knew  that  if  repulsed  at  one  point  we  could  readily 
find  a  landing-place  close  at  hand;  and  I  selected 
Ireland  in  preference  to  England,  because  I  knew  if 
we  once  got  ashore  we  would  find  ourselves  in  the 
midst  of  a  friendly  people,  from  whom  we  could 
raise  large  numbers  of  recruits;  and  with  this  in  view, 
we  had  brought  with  us  guns,  ammunition,  uniforms, 
etc. ,  for  two  hundred  thousand  more  soldiers. 

I  threw  part  of  our  force  on  shore  to  the  west  of 


THE  CONQUEST  OF  IRELAND.        213 

Carlisle  Fort,  and  a  sudden  charge  upon  the  astonished 
and  bewildered  defenders  from  the  rear  resulted  in  its 
capture.  Similar  tactics  soon  gave  us  Camden  Fort, 
on  the  east  side  of  the  entrance  to  the  outer  harbor, 
and  we  were  speedily  in  possession  of  safe  anchorage, 
and  the  work  of  disembarkation  commenced.  The 
whole  country  turned  out  to  look  at  the  mighty 
apparition  which  had  seemingly  risen  from  the  waves; 
but  when  they  saw  the  "stars  and  stripes,"  and  under 
stood  that  the  long  prayed-for  deliverers  had  arrived, 
sent  by  their  kindred  beyond  the  seas,  their  joy  was 
unbounded.  The  hills,  black  with  people,  rang  with 
cheers ;  bonfires  were  kindled  where  the  beacon-lights 
shone  in  the  ancient  days;  the  telegraph  flashed  the 
joyful  news  to  every  part  of  the  island;  and  the  bold 
and  adventurous  people  rose  everywhere,  arming  them 
selves  with  scythes,  clubs,  and  extemporized  pikes,  and 
singing  the  old  song — 

"  Oh,  the  French  are  on  the  sea, 
Says  the  Shan  Van  Vocht. " 

The  English  government  was  astounded.  The  aris 
tocracy  were  not  ready.  They  had  hoped  to  have 
attacked  the  United  States  from  Canada,  but  Canada 
was  lost  to  them.  Then  they  had  planned  to  invade 
us  through  Mexico;  but  that  expedient  was  out  of  the 
question.  They  then  made  up  their  minds  to  assail 
our  long  lines  of  seacoast  with  troops  of  the  different 
nations  belonging  to  the  coalition,  and  land  and  wage 
a  desolating  war  on  our  soil;  but  now,  to  their  utter 


214  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

surprise,  they  found  the  battle-field  of  humanity  had 
been  transferred  to  their  own  territory;  a  territory 
swarming  in  every  part  with  discontented  and  op 
pressed  people,  who  hated  the  powers  which  had  so 
long  ruled  and  impoverished  them. 

But  the  government  moved  with  its  old  prompti 
tude.  It  collected  its  regular  troops,  over  100,000 
strong,  at  Holyhead,  for  the  invasion  of  Ireland,  and 
gave  orders  to  the  40,000  armed  constabulary  of  the 
Green  Island  to  concentrate  at  once  and  resist  our  ad 
vance.  Then  it  made  vigorous  appeals  to  the  English 
and  Scotch  people  to  volunteer  in  defence  of  their 
native  land. 

As  rapidly  as  our  troops  landed,  they  were  pushed 
forward. 

The  people  rose  in  Cork  and  delivered  up  the  city 
without  a  blow. 

A  considerable  force  under  the  command  of  General 
Vincent  of  Indiana  advanced  on  Limerick,  but  long 
before  they  could  reach  it  the  gallant  inhabitants,  filled 
with  the  spirit  of  their  ancestors,  rose  en  masse,  cap 
tured  the  constabulary  and  the  soldiers  in  the  bar 
racks,  and  met  the  advancing  Americans  with  the 
"harp  and  sun-burst"  flying  in  the  air  in  triumph. 

All  Tipperary  and  Kilkenny  were  in  arms;  the  very 
women  marched,  carrying  babies  and  pikes. 

Recruiting  offices  were  opened  in  every  town  as  we 
poured  forward,  and  strong  men  wept  as  the  breech - 
loading  Winchesters  and  the  American  uniforms  were 
dealt  out  to  them.  I  never  witnessed  such  wild  ex- 


THE  CONQUEST  OP  IRELAND.         215 

citement  as  our  starry  banner  produced  wherever  it 
appeared. 

The  40,000  constabulary  gave  us  no  trouble;  the 
people  took  care  of  them.  I  had  issued  orders  to 
avoid  the  shedding  of  a  single  drop  of  blood  if  pos 
sible,  and  not  a  life  was  sacrificed.  The  whole  popu 
lation  rose  up,  and  the  police  dissolved  into  them  and 
reappeared,  cheering,  with  the  American  uniforms 
upon  their  limbs. 

Wexford,  Kerry,  Clare,  Queens,  Wicklow,  Kildare 
were  ours,  and  the  mountains  of  Galway  were  blazing 
with  bonfires  and  enthusiasm ;  and  with  a  rush  we 
poured  into  Dublin,  and  the  American  flag  was  soon 
flying  from  the  top  of  0' Council's  statue. 

Even  the  Orangemen  of  the  North  would  not  fight 
against  the  stars  and  stripes;  and  although  they 
gathered  in  sullen  squads,  with  hostile  intent,  as  our 
shining  platoons  came  in  sight  with  the  bands  play 
ing,  they  cheered  with  the  rest.  It  was  the  irresist- 
able  and  universal  contagion  of  Liberty. 

In  the  principal  towns  I  established  shops  for  the 
manufacture  of  guns,  ammunition,  and  cannon,  and 
the  whole  male  population  between  eighteen  and  fifty 
were  enrolled  as  a  national  militia,  called  the  Fianna 
Eirionn.  The  unemployed  were  set  at  work  con 
structing  fortifications  along  the  seacoast  and  around 
the  principal  cities. 

I  issued  the  following  proclamation: 


216  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 


IRELAND  IS  FREE ! 

After  .seven  hundred  years  of  bloodshed  and  bondage,  the 
shackles  are  at  last  torn  from  her  limbs.  The  unconquer 
able  spirit  of  the  people  is  now  crystallized  into  a  nationality. 
In  the  name  of  the  free  people  of  the  United  States  of  Amer 
ica,  I  decree  the  establishment  of  the  Republic  of  Ireland. 

On  the  4th  day  of  July  the  whole  people  will  assemble 
in  their  respective  parishes,  and  elect  delegates,  on  the  basis 
of  one  for  every  ten  thousand  of  population,  to  assemble  at 
Tara  on  the  12th  day  of  October  next,  the  anniversary  of 
the  day  when  Wolf  Tone,  in  1791,  organized  the  first  society 
of  United  Irishmen. 

Every  acre  of  land  in  Ireland  having  been  many  times 
confiscated,  and  all  titles  resting  therefore  on  force,  the  en 
tire  soil  of  the  country  is  now,  by  right  of  conquest,  declared 
to  belong  to  the  United  States  of  America,  which  will  hold 
it  in  trust  for  the  benefit  of  the  inhabitants  of  the  island. 
The  entire  country  will  be  resurveyed,  and  a  redistribution 
of  the  land  made  as  rapidly  as  possible,  and  given  to  actual 
occupants,  free  of  cost,  under  provisions  similar  to  those  of 
the  Homestead  Law  of  the  United  States.  No  person  shall 
own  or  occupy  with  his  family  more  than  fifty  acres ;  the 
present  occupants  shall  have  the  right  to  select  a  portion  not 
greater  than  that  amount,  which  may  embrace  the  buildings 
used  as  a  residence,  etc.  Where  those  taking  land  are  not 
able  to  build  a  house,  one  shall  be  erected  for  them,  and  the 
cost  of  it,  with  the  price  of  a  horse  and  cow  and  necessary 
subsistence  for  one  year,  shall  be  charged  up  to  the  settlers  at 
two  per  cent  per  annum  interest,  and  paid  for  in  instalments, 
collectable  as  taxes  during  the  next  twenty  years.  Tenantry 
is  forever  abolished. 

To  carry  on  this  and  other  necessary  works,  the  provisional 
government  shall  issue  "greenbacks,"  full  legal-tender,  for 
all  debts,  public  and  private,  which  shall  be  gradually  in 
creased  until  they  have  reached  a  maximum  of  fifty  dollars 
per  capita.  No  banks  of  issue  shall  ever  be  permitted  in  the 
island,  but  all  money  shall  be  created  by  the  government. 


THE  CONQUEST  OP  IRELAND.        217 

The  new  Republic  is  based  upon  the  following  principles : 

1.  Universal  education. 

2.  Universal  and  impartial  suffrage. 

3.  Universal  religious  toleration. 

4.  Absolute  and  complete  separation  of  Church  and  State. 

5.  Absolute  freedom  of  elections,  and  secrecy  of  the  ballot, 
secured  by  the  Australian  system. 

6.  Absolute  equality  of  all  persons  before  the  law. 

7.  A  graduated  income  tax  that  shall  prevent  the  accum 
ulation  of   enormous   fortunes,  by   confiscating  all  above  a 
reasonable  sum. 

8.  Limitation  of  the  amount  of  land  that  can,  at  any  time 
in  the  future,  be  owned  by  any  one  person  or  corporation. 

9.  The  punishment  of  official  bribery  by  death  ;  and  the 
punishment  of  the  bribery  or    intimidation  of   voters  by  im 
prisonment  for  life. 

10.  No  person   to   vote,  after  the  expiration  of  ten  years, 
who  cannot  read  and  write. 

Let  there  be  peace.  Gather  from  the  past  not  wrath  and 
revenge,  bub  wisdom  to  avoid  the  evils  of  the  future.  The 
distinctions  of  race  and  creed  are  adventitious  and  acci 
dental  ;  men  in  their  beliefs  are  what  their  parents  were ;  in 
themselves  they  are  what  God  made  them.  You  are  all  one 
people,  with  characteristics  that  are  the  product  of  the  same 
soil  and  climate.  Your  first  duty  is  to  make  your  nation 
great  and  prosperous,  and  each  other  happy.  He  who  would 
divide  you  hates  you.  You  fell  into  slavery,  many  centu 
ries  ago,  by  senseless  internal  divisions.  See  to  it  that  you 
do  not  lose  your  new  liberties  in  the  same  way.  Be  a  band  of 
brothers,  and  let  the  differences  of  dogma  and  race  be  for 
gotten.  Assemble  at  the  site  of  the  ancient  capital  of  your 
country,  and  form  a  government  so  wise,  just,  generous,  and 
benevolent  that  it  will  forever  make  the  name  of  Irishman 
glorious. 

EPHRAIM  BENEZET, 

President  of  the  United  States  and  Commander- 
in-Chief  of  the  Army  of  Liberation. 


CHAPTER  XXXIII. 

ENGLAND'S   SURPRISE. 

THE  English  army  was  preparing  to  cross  St. 
George's  Channel.  A  vast  fleet  of  ironclads  and 
transports  was  swarming  along  the  coast  of  Wales. 
Every  available  soldier  was  withdrawn  from  London 
and  all  the  great  cities,  and  the  railroad  lines  were 
loaded  down  with  men  and  munitions  of  war.  The 
London  dailies  bristled  with  violent  denunciations  of 
the  Yankees,  and  appeals  to  the  patriotism  of  the 
people  to  rise  to  the  defence  of  the  great  nation 
which  had  overthrown  all  invaders,  sinco  victory 
crowned  the  Bastard  of  Normandy  on  the  bloody  field 
of  Hastings. 

We  made  ready  for  a  terrible  conflict  on  the  coast 
of  Ireland.  A  railroad  was  built  along  the  whole 
coast,  and  connecting  lines  formed  so  that  we  could 
concentrate  our  forces  wherever  the  blow  might  fall. 

I  grieved  over  the  prospect  of  bloodshed.  I  loved 
and  honored  the  English  people — for  no  race  in  the 
Old  World  had  done  more  than  they  for  the  supremacy 
of  law  and  the  cause  of  freedom.  I  loved  them  for 
the  sake  of  Francis  Bacon,  and  Pym,  and  Hampden, 
and  Chatham,  and  Gladstone,  and  all  the  innumerable 

218 


ENGLAND'S  SURPRISE.  219 

patriots  who  had  lived  or  died  to  advance  the  race.     I 
believed  with  Holmes  that — 

One-half  her  soil  had  walked  the  rest, 
In  poets,  statesmen,  heroes,  sages. 

It  was  the  English  aristocracy  that  had  afflicted 
the  world,  not  the  English  people.  That  aristocracy 
had  not  oppressed  Ireland  and  India  any  more  cruelly 
than  they  had  their  own  countrymen.  The  swarm 
ing  countless  millions,  for  whom  life  had  been  a  hope 
less  hell,  were  and  are  the  victims  of  that  brutal  sel 
fishness  which  William  the  Norman  had  infused,  as 
a  dreadful  inheritance,  into  English  history.  And 
his  beastly  body,  falling  to  pieces  with  its  own  rot 
tenness  as  it  was  lowered  into  the  grave,  amid  the 
curses  of  those  he  had  robbed,  was  a  fit  type  and 
figure  of  the  end  of  his  own  corrupt  aristocracy. 

But  while  the  government  of  England  was  rallying 
its  troops  to  cross  the  channel,  a  great  revolution  had 
been  going  on  in  the  minds  of  the  English  people. 
The  newspapers  had  informed  them  of  our  course  in 
Ireland;  of  the  fact  that  not  one  drop  of  blood  had 
been  shed  in  the, conquest  of  the  country;  and  that 
we  had  decreed  the  sequestration  of  all  the  land  in  the 
island,  and  its  division  among  the  people,  with  pro 
visions  to  build  every  man  a  shelter  for  wife  and  little 
ones,  and  help  him  with  provisions  until  he  could 
harvest  his  first  crop.  They  had  read  of  the  breaking 
up  of  the  great  parks  of  the  aristocracy,  kept  as  pre 
serves  for  wild  animals,  for  the  amusement  of  a  few 


THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

rich  people,  into  farms  and  homes  for  the  poor  children 
of  God;  and  every  laboring  man  had  said  to  himself: 
"  Why  should  not  England  have  such  a  system  of  laws 
as  that,  and  why  should  we  fight  and  die  to  perpetu 
ate  a  costly  royal  family  and  a  greedy  aristocracy,  who 
will  suck  the  blood  out  of  our  veins  and  the  veins  of 
our  children,  for  all  generations?  " 

And  the  more  men  talked  of  these  things,  the  more 
excited  they  became.  And,  hearing  of  it,  I  issued  a 
proclamation  and  sent  it  broadcast  throughout  Great 
Britain : 

PEOPLE  OP  ENGLAND,  SCOTLAND  AND  WALES 
We  come  not  to  enslave  but  to  liberate  you  ! 

The  great  United  States  of  America  have  no  desire  to  rob 
you  of  a  penny  of  your  possessions.  In  the  fulness  of  time 
the  burden  of  the  nations  has  become  greater  than  they  can 
bear :  God  has  heard  your  cries  and  sent  you  help.  "  The 
stone  cut  out  of  the  mountain  without  hands"  is  about  to  fall 
upon  the  feet  of  the  "great  image  made  of  iron  and  miry  clay, " 
(the  iron  of  power  and  the  clay  of  rottenness) ,  and  break  them 
to  pieces  forever.  For — 

"  None  calleth  for  justice,  nor  any  pleadeth  for  truth  ;  they 
trust  in  vanity  and  speak  lies ;  they  conceive  mischief  and 
bring  forth  iniquity.  They  hatch  cockatrice's  eggs,  and 
weave  the  spider's  web ;  he  that  eateth  of  their  eggs  dieth ; 
and  that  which  is  crushed  breaketh  out  into  a  viper.  Their 
feet  run  to  evil,  and  they  make  haste  to  shed  innocent  blood  ; 
their  thoughts  are  thoughts  of  iniquity,  wasting  and  destruc 
tion  are  in  their  paths. 

"Yea,  truth  faileth,  and  the  Lord  saw  it,  and  it  displeased 
him,  that  there  was  no  judgment.  And  he  saw  there  was 
no  man,  and  he  wondered  there  was  no  intercessors ;  there 
fore  his  arm  hath  brought  forth  salvation,  and  his  righteous 
ness  sustained  him." 


ENGLAND'S  SURPRISE.  221 

Why  should  you  heat  the  fire  to  weld  your  own  shackles? 
Why  should  you  die  that  the  oppressor  may  live? 

I  proclaim  the  Republic  of  Great  Britain. 

Liberty,  Equality,  Fraternity ! 

Equal  rights,  equal  privileges,  equal  opportunities,  for  all 
men  and  women. 

The  land  for  the  people  and  people  for  the  land.  No  more 
aristocracy ;  no  more  paupers.  The  whole  power  of  God's 
tremendous  natural  world  utilized,  by  all  the  capacities  of 
the  human  mind,  to  give  abundance,  prosperity,  peace,  hap 
piness,  and  culture  to  all  men. 

The  clock  of  the  centuries  is  striking  even  now  in  the  halls 
of  God: — "the  century's  aloe  flowers  to-day." 

Shall  puissant  England  tear  the  Nessus  shirt  of  craft  and 
cruelty  from  her  manly  limbs,  and  robe  herself  in  the  shin 
ing  garments  of  freedom? 

The  eldest- born  of  her  children  crosses  the  blue  ocean  to 
bring  her  liberty  and  justice. 

Meet  at  once  and  take  council  together  and  organize  the 
Republic. 

Done  in  the  name  of  the  United  States  of  America. 

EPHRAIM  BENEZET, 

President  and  Commander-in-Chief  of  the 
Army  of  Liberation. 

So  greedy  were  the  newspapers  for  news,  that  the 
wires  carried  this  proclamation  to  every  city,  town, 
and  hamlet  of  England  and  Scotland  before  the  gov 
ernment  could  interfere.  In  one  night  it  covered 
Great  Britain.  Surely  God  has  prepared  the  way  for 
great  events  when  He  has  given,  through  man's  inven 
tive  skill,  the  power  to  millions  of  men  to  think  the 
same  thought  at  the  same  instant. 

Magical,  indeed,  was  the  effect  of  this  appeal  falling 
on  soil  already  prepared  for  it  during  centuries. 


222  THE    GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

Edmund  Burke  said  that  lie  knew  of  no  way  to 
draw  an  indictment  against  a  whole  people. 

England  knew  no  way  to  make  war  on  her  whole 
population;  for  in  millions  upon  millions  they  had 
assembled  everywhere,  in  vast  masses,  and  demanded 
a  change  of  government — reform. 

The  contagion  spread  like  lightning  to  the  troops 
assembled  at  Holyhead.  A  few  officers,  belonging 
to  the  upper  classes,  tried  to  stem  the  sweeping  tor 
rent  of  public  opinion,  but  they  were  at  once  over 
whelmed.  The  cry  "  America !  America!  America!" 
rang  through  the  embattled  hosts,  with  a  roar  like  the 
thunder  of  old  ocean  as  it  bursts,  storm-smitten,  upon 
the  rocky  coasts  of  Albion.  Everywhere  among 
the  troops,  all  over  England  and  Scotland,  the  flag 
of  the  United  States  was  improvised;  sometimes  they 
got  the  stars  in  the  wrong  corner,  but  what  did  that 
matter?  Every  one  knew  that  the  grand  banner  sig 
nified — stars  or  no  stars — salvation  for  mankind,  jus 
tice  for  the  humblest,  and  triumph  for  the  highest 
aspirations  of  the  human  soul.  It  had  ceased  to  be 
the  flag  of  a  nation — it  had  become  the  banner  of 
mankind. 

England  was  not  conquered.  She  had  liberated 
herself.  The  grand,  self-governing  race  had  leaped 
at  one  bound  to  the  full  stature  of  freedom. 

There  were  no  conflicts.  Even  the  nobility,  as  in 
the  French  revolution,  were  swept  along  in  the  mighty 
flood,  and  many  of  them  came  forward  and  renounced 
their  titles,  and  declared  that  their  order  had  outlived 


ENGLAND'S  SURPRISE.  223 

its  usefulness  and  had  degenerated,  too  often,  into 
disgraceful  bestiality  and  brutishness. 

And  the  cry  came  over  to  me  in  Dublin: 

"Come  and  help  us!" 


CHAPTER  XXXIV. 

RECONSTRUCTED    GREAT    BRITAIN. 

MANY  questions  perplexed  them. 

Two  feelings  struggled  in  their  hearts.  They 
desired  to  preserve  their  general  government,  and  vet 
each  subdivision  of  the  country  demanded  local  self- 
government.  The  provisional  authority  ended  the 
dispute  by  calling  national  conventions  to  meet  at 
Ayr  (Robert  Burns'  birthplace) ;  St.  Albans  (Fran 
cis  Bacon's  home) ;  and  Monmouth  (the  birthplace 
of  Henry  V.).  The  people  began  to  perceive  that 
there  was  nothing  greater  in  a  free  country  than  its 
great  men.  The  provisional  government  suggested 
that  the  nations  should  arise  out  of  the  people,  and 
then  the  nations  could,  if  they  saw  fit,  delegate  certain 
limited  powers  to  a  general  government;  but  always 
the  great  fountain  of  authority  and  reservoir  of  primal 
power  was  to  remain  in  and  with  the  people.  Nothing 
that  the  voters  could  do  themselves  was  taken  out  of 
their  hands;  hence  the  power  of  the  parish  or  town- 
meeting  was  immensely  increased;  for  with  every 
remove  from  the  people  the  danger  of  usurpation 
and  misgovernment  becomes  greater. 

I  urged  the  provisional  government  to  establish  at 
224 


RECONSTRUCTED   GREAT   BRITAIN.  225 

once  a  greenback  currency  for  each  nation,  and  to 
commence  the  work  of  surveying  the  land,  building 
houses,  draining  swamps,  constructing  roads,  manu 
facturing  guns,  etc. ,  so  as  to  give  employment  and 
food  to  the  millions  of  poor  but  willing  workers. 

I  then  urged  them  to  imitate  our  plans  in  the 
United  States,  and  near  every  large  city  take  posses 
sion  of  land  and  establish  a  new  city,  for  the  working- 
men,  where  they  could  obtain  homes  forever  at  a 
nominal  price,  and  escape  from  the  power  of  the 
landlords.  This  they  did  with  splendid  results. 

Some  of  the  aristocracy  complained  bitterly  about 
the  destruction  of  their  hunting  parks;  but  the  wiser 
ones  among  them  perceived  that  it  was  disgraceful  for 
grown  men,  in  the  midst  of  a  high  civilization,  to 
keep  up  the  customs  of  their  barbarian  ancestors,  who 
depended  on  the  chase  for  the  means  of  life.  And 
one  ex-earl  declared  that  he  had  reached  the  conclu 
sion  that  a  man  was  dishonored  by  murdering  any 
creature  with  less  intelligence  than  himself,  unless 
compelled  to  do  so  by  absolute  hunger. 

And  so  poor,  starving,  swarming  humanity  was 
let  loose  upon  the  rabbit-warrens,  the  deer-parks, 
and  the  pheasant-preserves;  and  houses  and  gardens 
arose,  as  by  the  touch  of  an  enchanter,  where  the 
wilderness  had  reigned  unbroken  for  thousands  of 
years;  and  prattling  children,  rosy  and  well-fed,  took 
the  places  of  the  wild  creatures  which  were  God's 
temporary  expedients  in  an  undeveloped  world.  And 
the  land  bubbled  over  with  laughter  and  sang  with 
15 


226  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

happiness.  And  there  was  no  pale-faced,  hungry 
man  or  woman  in  all  England.  And  under  the  influ 
ence  of  the  government  all  the  mills  and  factories 
and  mines  were  conducted  on  cooperative  principles, 
and  the  word  "wages  "  ceased  to  be  heard  in  the  land 
and  "strikes"  were  a  thing  of  the  barbaric  past. 
And  as  the  paper  money  poured  forth,  all  forms  of 
enterprise  sprang  up  with  marvellous  vigor.  And  the 
drinking-houses  went  into  bankruptcy,  for  the  intelli 
gent  people  began  to  perceive  that  rum  was  rottenness, 
and  drunkenness  decay  and  death;  and  that  there 
was  no  pleasure  that  could  be  wisely  bought  at  the 
price  of  impaired  intellects,  ruined  constitutions,  and 
shortened  lives.  And  even  the  fools  perceived  that 
intemperance  was  simply  the  counter-impress  of  the 
die  of  misgovernment — the  obverse  of  the  medal  of 
bad  laws  and  evil  conditions. 

And  most  wonderful  of  all  was  the  access  of 
thought,  the  development  of  literature,  the  spread  of 
learning,  the  lifting  up  of  the  mind  of  the  great  com  • 
plex  races  of  the  British  Islands,  compounded  of  many 
elements,  with  the  inherited  culture-capacity  drawn 
from  thousands  of  generations  of  high  civilization  in 
the  ancient  Atlantean  empire.  All  the  past  was  ran 
sacked  for  facts  and  ideas,  and  the  great  men  of  for 
mer  generations  were  worshipped  with  discriminating 
fervor.  And  the  poorhouses  were  turned  into  schools 
and  libraries;  for  pauperism  ended  with  its  parent 
misgovernment.  And  the  newspapers,  instead  of 
being  the  instrument  of  an  oligarchy,  to  suppress  truth 


RECONSTRUCTED   GREAT   BRITAIN.  227 

and  befog  mankind,  became  the  most  earnest,  zealous 
advocates  of  everything  that  would  make  men  better, 
happier,  and  wiser;  and  in  these  respects  their  power 
was  unlimited. 

Oh,  it  was  astounding  to  see  how  rapidly  the  hu 
man  race  rose  to  splendid  altitudes  of  development,  as 
soon  as  the  chains  were  severed  that  bound  it  to  the 
mire.  And  no  man  in  all  the  world  was  any  the  worse 
off,  eventually,  for  all  this  splendid  reformation. 


CHAPTER  XXXV. 

SOPHIE'S  WORK. 

BUT  what  was  my  dear  wife  doing  all  this  time? 
Was  she  idle?  Not  a  bit  of  it. 

In  Ireland  she  insisted  upon  women's  suffrage,  and 
in  England,  Scotland,  and  Wales  she  persuaded  them 
to  follow  Ireland's  example,  and  make  suffrage  uni 
versal.  She  argued  with  great  force  that  the  right  to 
vote  was  not  a  vanity,  or  an  ornament,  or  a  privilege; 
but  that  it  meant  simply  the  right  of  each  individual, 
governed  by  the  laws,  to  take  part  in  the  making  of 
the  laws.  The  Turk,  she  said,  denied  women  souls, 
and  the  Christians  had  denied  them  intellect.  There 
was  no  more  reason  why  women  should  be  excluded 
from  the  ballot-box,  than  there  was  why  she  should 
be  denied  access  to  the  church  or  the  schoolhouse. 
She  was  not  only  a  human  being,  but  the  creator  of 
human  beings;  and  to  degrade  her  was  to  degrade 
her  progeny — mankind.  You  could  not  make  a  great 
race  out  of  women  who  thought  of  nothing  but  bon 
nets.  There  were  as  many  fool-men  in  the  world 
as  there  were  fool-women,  and  the  one  class  would 
never  fail  to  find  mates  among  the  other,  and  thus 
the  charming  breed  of  idiots  would  be  perpetuated 

238 


SOPHIE'S  WORK.  229 

to  the  end  of  time.  You  must  lift  up  women  if  you 
lift  up  men. 

Sophie  also  established,  in  England,  Ireland,  Scot 
land,  and  "Wales,  a  society  in  every  parish  for  the  ele 
vation  of  women,  and  she  induced  the  government  to 
set  aside  annual  premiums,  of  considerable  amounts, 
to  the  most  intelligent  women:  to  the  best  cooks;  to 
the  cleanest  housekeepers;  to  the  best  mothers;  to 
the  best  butter-makers,  etc.  Then  she  offered  similar 
premiums  to  the  best  scholars  among  the. young  men; 
the  writers  of  the  best  essays,  stories,  and  poems;  to 
the  best  gardeners,  the  best  farmers,  the  best  mechanics. 
The  whole  population  was  filled  with  emulation,  and 
such  working,  writing,  scrubbing,  gardening,  farm 
ing  never  was  seen  before  in  the  land. 

In  all  these  nations  she  secured  an  enlargement  of 
the  public  school  system,  whereby  the  best  scholars 
in  the  parish  schools  were  sent  up  to  the  shire  high- 
schools,  and  there  supported  by  the  shire-govern 
ment,  while  they  pursued  their  studies;  and  again  the 
selected  scholars  from  the  high  schools  were  sent  up 
to  and  maintained,  at  the  public  expense,  at  the 
national  universities.  Out  of  the  highest  scholars 
from  these  various  schools  the  public  offices  were 
filled,  under  a  life  tenure,  and  so,  as  in  China,  the 
poorest  child  had  a  chance  to  rise,  without  family  or 
political  influence,  to  the  highest  dignities  in  the  civil 
service  of  the  state.  If  youths  of  either  sex  dis 
played  special  power  or  ability  in  any  domain  of  hu 
man  thought,  they  were  at  once  made  the  protege's  of 


230  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

the  state;  and  every  facility  was  given  them  to  work 
out  the  greatness  which  God  had  bestowed  upon 
them.  It  was  a  maxim  of  the  government  that  the 
nation  had  no  higher  function  than  to  develop  the 
genius  born  among  the  people — the  rarest  and  most 
precious  gift  of  God  to  man. 

I  need  not  add  that  my  good  wife  also  transferred 
to  the  British  Islands  her  great  society  to  secure  to 
women  the  fruits  of  their  own  industry  without  the 
intervention  of  middlemen.  She  could  not  at  once 
close  up  the  awful  sores  of  Whitechapel  and  the 
Strand,  but  by  rendering  virtue  prosperous  and 
happy,  she  cut  off  the  recruits  to  the  habitations  of  sin 
and  death.  When  good  and  evil  are  equally  profit 
able  there  are  few  women  who  will  not  seek  out  the 
flowery  and  peaceful  paths  of  dignity  and  virtue, 
rather  than  the  hot  and  rotten  roads  which  lead  down 
to  the  hell  of  personal  abasement  and  disfigurement. 

And  the  people  of  these  islands  came  to  love  and 
revere  Sophie  as  much  as  did  the  inhabitants  of  her 
native  land. 

And  Sophie  also  organized  a  great  corps  of  women 
to  follow  the  armies,  and  nurse  the  wounded  and  the 
sick,  although,  thank  God,  we  had  as  yet  little  need 
for  their  services. 


CHAPTER  XXXVI. 

THE    WRATH    OF    THE    KINGS. 

THE  antiquarians  have  found,  in  several  instances, 
the  bones  of  the  great  extinct  monsters  of  the  ancient 
world  stalled  in  bogs,  and  surrounded  by  the  remains 
of  fires  and  the  weapons  of  the  hunters  who  pursued 
them  to  the  death. 

One  can  fancy  the  impotent,  diabolical  wrath  of 
the  mastodon  or  the  flying  dragon — the  giant  ptero 
dactyl — the  last  of  their  species,  as  they  found  them 
selves  encompassed  by  their  puny  but  powerful 
enemies,  and  doomed,  helplessly,  to  certain  death. 
How  they  must  have  roared;  how  their  eyes  must 
have  flashed,  as  the  darts  and  arrows  struck  them; 
what  desperate  lunges  they  must  have  made,  in  the 
treacherous  mud,  to  reach  their  active  foes;  how 
they  screamed  their  last  terrific  protest  against  extinc 
tion  with  their  last  breath. 

And  so  that  breed  of  monsters  called  kings  felt 
when  they  read  that  Ireland,  England,  Scotland,  and 
Wales  had  cast  down  monarchy,  aristocracy,  and  all 
their  trappings,  and  wrapped  their  limbs  in  the  pure, 
white  garments  of  republicanism.  Every  step  of 
my  peaceful  advance  over  the  British  Islands  had 

231 


232  THE  GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

been  a  triumphal  march  over  their  sore  hearts.  They 
raged  and  roared  while  the  people  exulted.  For 
whom  could  they  trust?  The  age  around  them  was 
like  a  bog  in  which  their  cannon  sank  to  the  muzzles. 
Who  could  set  geographical  boundaries  to  the  instincts 
of  the  human  heart?  They  looked  into  the  faces  of 
the  people  they  and  theirs  had  oppressed  for  genera 
tions,  and  they  could  see  only  lowering  brows,  dis 
trust,  hostility.  The  very  dead  seemed,  to  their  ex 
cited  imaginations,  to  rise  in  countless  legions,  armies, 
populations,  nations,  from  their  crowded  graves;  and, 
with  chapless  jaws,  rebuked  them  for  their  wasted 
lives,  their  starved  bodies,  their  impoverished  souls, 
held  in  wretched  subjugation  by  them  and  their  cruel 
ancestors  for  innumerable  generations;  and  a  sweep 
ing  wail  filled  all  the  universe,  and  rose  to  the  throne 
of  God,  over  the  lost  opportunities  and  the  wrecked 
lives.  It  was  the  resurrection  of  the  sorrows  of  man 
kind,  the  dreadful  impeachment  of  the  oppressors  of 
the  world. 

But  the  monsters  would  not  yield. 

Germany  and  Austria  gathered  their  forces  to  stay 
the  advance  of  the  starry  flag. 

With  seven  hundred  thousand  men  we  landed 
upon  the  coast  of  Belgium  and  advanced  eastward, 
leaving  the  friendly  republic  of  France  on  our  right. 
We  passed  over  the  field  of  Waterloo,  where  an 
insular  aristocracy  grappled  with  a  continental  ambi 
tion.  It  was  a  world-shaking  conflict  over  ignoble 
objects;  a  battle  not  to  define  the  rights  of  peoples, 


THE   WRATH   OF  THE   KINGS.  233 

but  the  status  of  dynasties.  Napoleon  fell  and  pauper 
ism  lived;  and  thousands  have  died  of  misgovernment 
and  wretchedness  every  year  in  Europe  since,  for 
every  man  whose  life  was  thrown  away  on  the  bloody 
field  of  Waterloo.  Oh,  sacrifice  of  men  to  the  mon 
sters!  The  Aztec  victims,  in  their  wicker  baskets, 
screaming  amid  the  flames,  offered  up  to  Huitzilopoch- 
tli — the  hideous  god  of  war — are  types  of  humanity 
in  all  these  latter  ages. 

We  advanced  rapidly  so  as  to  strike  the  German 
army  before  the  forces  of  Austria  could  unite  with  it. 
From  Berlin  the  young  emperor,  William,  advanced 
with  his  splendid  legions  full  of  visions  of  military 
glory. 


CHAPTER  XXXVII. 

THE    BATTLE    OF    MAKBURG. 

THE  armies  encountered  each  other  in  the  vicinity 
of  Marburg,  a  town  of  about  10,000  inhabitants,  in 
the  rough  and  hilly  country  of  Hesse  Cassel. 

I  sent  the  following  letter  to  the  Emperor  under  a 
flag  of  truce: 

YOUR  MAJESTY  : — Without  a  blow  being  struck  against  you 
or  your  empire,  you  united  with  the  aristocracy  of  England 
and  of  other  nations  to  crush  the  United  States  of  America, 
and  reduce  its  people  to  serfdom.  You  have  heard  of  the 
fate  that  has  already  overtaken  the  English  aristocracy  ;  they 
fell  without  a  blow.  You  are  forcing  your  people  to  fight 
to  maintain  the  crushing  subjugation  in  which  you  hold 
them. 

I  would  avoid  the  loss  of  human  lives,  and  I  therefore 
propose  that  the  American  army  will  withdraw  from 
your  territory,  on  condition  that,  within  thirty  days  from 
this  date,  the  question  of  establishing  a  republican  form  of 
government  be  submitted  to  a  full  and  free  vote  of  all  the 
people  of  your  empire.  If  this  proposition  is  accepted,  I  will 
appoint  a  commission  to  present  the  question  fairly  to  your 
people,  and  to  see  that  it  is  freely  discussed  and  voted  upon, 
by  secret  ballot,  without  intimidation  or  coercion  of  any 
kind.  If  the  majority  of  your  people  decide,  after  such  de 
bate,  that  they  prefer  the  domination  of  your  dynasty  to  a 
republican  form  of  government,  peace  shall  be  established 
between  the  two  nations,  and  our  forces  will  withdraw. 
An  armistice  to  be  declared  while  such  vote  is  being  taken. 

I  appeal  to  you,  as  one  who  claims  to  be  the  affectionate 
234 


THE  BATTLE   OF  MARBURG.  235 

father  of  his  people,  to  submit  to  this  peaceful  arbitrament. 
All  constitutional  power  is  derived  from  the  people.  Let 
the  people  say  what  form  of  government  they  prefer. 

If  you  refuse  this  offer,  let  the  crime  of  the  bloodshed  and 
murder  that  must  follow  fall  on  your  head. 

I  have  the  honor  to  be,  very  respectfully  yours, 

EPHRAIM  BENEZET, 

President  of  the  United  States  of  America,  and  Com 
mander- in-Chief  of  the  Army  of  Liberation. 

So  violent  was  the  contempt  of  the  young  emperor 
for  all  popular  rights,  that  his  reply  to  this  peaceful 
proposition  was  to  fall  at  once,  with  tremendous 
force,  upon  the  left  wing  of  our  army.  We  were 
taken  by  surprise.  I  had  supposed,  of  course,  that 
there  would  be  some  negotiation,  some  respectful  reply 
to  my  letter. 

The  first  shock  of  the  trained  German  troops  was 
terrific,  and  our  line  was  curled  back  upon  itself, 
and  the  slaughter  was  immense.  It  looked  for  a 
while  as  if  a  panic  had  seized  our  troops. 

I  was  standing  upon  an  elevation,  not  far  from  the 
line  of  action,  and  saw  the  whole  scene.  The  enemy 
were  approaching  very  close  to  my  own  position. 

Just  at  this  moment  a  terrific  shout  and  uproar 
burst  through  the  tumult  from  behind  me.  I  turned 
round  and  there,  a  mile  away,  through  a  vast  cloud 
of  dust,  came  serried  ranks,  firing  as  they  advanced. 

The  enemy  had  outflanked  us,  and  were  attacking 
us  from  the  rear! 

I  gave  orders  at  once  for  the  right  wing  of  our  army 
to  close  in  to  the  aid  of  the  left,  and  they  came  on  at 
double-quick. 


236  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

"Look!"  cried  one  of  my  aides-de-camp,  pointing 
to  the  rear. 

A  surprising  thing  had  happened:  the  long  line  of 
the  enemy,  which  a  few  minutes  before  had  been  ad 
vancing  upon  our  rear  and  firing,  had  turned  their 
backs  and  were  engaged  witn  troops  that  were  attack 
ing  them  from  behind;  they  were  between  two  fires, 
for  some  of  our  cannon  had  been  gotten  into  place  and 
were  mowing  them  down. 

And  as  I  looked,  lo!  the  enemy  in  our  rear  divided, 
panic-stricken,  and  rushed  pell-mell  to  right  and  left, 
and  through  the  gap  came  our  triumphant  reserves, 
charging  with  bayonets  lowered,  and  at  their  head 
rode  a  woman.  I  looked  through  my  field-glass. 

Great  God!     It  was  Sophie! 

Yes;  she  had  perceived  the  extremity  of  our  dan 
ger,  and,  forgetting  her  ambulance  corps,  had  put  her 
self  at  the  head  of  our  reserves,  and  gave  the  word — 
Forward!  And  they  came  on  like  a  thunder-storm, 
sweeping  everything  before  them. 

Her  face  was  black  with  dust,  and  a  bloody 
handkerchief  tied  around  her  left  arm  showed  that 
she  was  wounded.  But  she  rode  her  horse  like  an 
amazon,  waving  her  sword,  and  screaming  at  the  top 
of  her  shrill  voice — Forward!  forward! 

She  had  the  genius  of  command,  and  instantly  gave 
orders  to  surround  and  make  prisoners  the  force  of 
the  enemy  which  was  entrapped  between  our  main 
body  and  the  reserves.  Not  one  of  them  escaped. 

At  the  same  moment  I  gave  orders  for  a  general 


TH[E   BATTLE   OF   MARBURG.  237 

advance  all  along  the>line,  and  our  vast  force  rolled 
forward  like  a  mighty  tidal  wave.  The  heroic  Ger 
mans  stood  their  ground  nobly,  but  nothing  could- 
stop  the  now  thoroughly  aroused  men  of  the  New 
World,  and  black  and  t  white  (for  we  had  whole 
brigades,  of  negroes  under  their  own  officers),  with 
terrible  shouts  and  blazing  guns  they  went  forward, 
and  drove  back  the  Germans  for  two  or  three  miles. 

Sophie  had  saved  the  army!  And  I  said  so  in 
general  orders.  And  the  whole  army  worshipped 
her.  After  the  fight  was  over,  woman -like,  she 
fainted,  and  the  surgeons  had  an  opportunity  to  dress 
her  wound,  which  fortunately  was  not  serious. 

As  she  recovered  from  her  swoon,  I  stood  over 
her  holding  her  right  hand.  The  fire  had  all  gone 
out  of  her  eyes,  and  she  looked  at  me  lovingly. 

"You  are  a  hero,  Sophie!"  I  said. 

"I  have  one  favor  to  ask,"  she  replied;  "give  me 
a  division  to  command.  The  ecstasy  I  felt  as  we 
broke  through  that  line  was  worth  half  a  dozen  life 
times." 

"You  shall  have  it,"  I  answered. 

And  it  was  done.  And  in  her  bright  uniform  she 
was  a  picture  to  look  at.  And  the  men!  There 
wasn't  ong  of  them  that  wouldn't  have  died  for  her. 

"General  Sophie!"  Lord!  how  the  cry  would 
ring  along  the  lines.  I  can  hear  it  yet — even  in  my 
miseries. 


CHAPTER  XXXVIII. 

THE  SECOND  DAY  OF  THE  BATTLE. 

THE  emperor  was  pretty  badly  crippled.  Between 
killed,  wounded,  and  prisoners  he  had  lost  nearly 
one-third  of  his  army.  And  the  moral  loss  was  even 
greater  than  the  physical.  Besides  he  had  been 
wounded  himself,  and  had  to  suffer  the  loss  of  his 
left  foot.  He  lay  on  a  bed  of  pain,  groaning  between 
his  set  teeth,  but  as  fierce  and  indomitable  as  ever; — 
the  heroic  representative  of  an  evil  system,  which 
was  about  to  pass  away  from  the  earth  forever. 

There  were  nearly  30,000  prisoners,  many  of  them 
wounded.  We  fed  them  and  looked  after  their 
injuries  with  the  utmost  kindness;  they  were  as  well 
treated  as  our  own  men. 

We  had  a  printing-press  in  the  camp,  run  by  a 
small,  portable  steam-engine. 

I  wrote  and  had  translated  into  German  the  follow 
ing  address,  and  all  night  long  the  press  was  busy 
printing  them  in  great  quantities.  Several  were 
given  to  each  of  the  prisoners. 

GERMANS  : — America  loves  you.  In  our  ranks  are  tens  of 
thousands  of  your  countrymen,  soldiers  of  Freedom.  In  our 
fair  land  millions  of  your  people  dwell  in  happy,  prosperous 

238 


THE  SECOND   DAY   OF  THE   BATTLE.  239 

homes,  in  town  and  country,  in  woods  and  prairies,  in  val 
leys  and  on  mountain -sides  ;  homes  of  beauty  and  delight, 
where  fond  hearts  bless  America  and  love  Germany.  Our 
whole  people  revere  the  memories  of  Goethe  and  Schiller  and 
Humboldt,  and  all  the  other  great  men  of  your  race  who 
have  adorned  every  department  of  human  thought.  We  are 
proud  of  possessing  kindred  blood,  and  tracing  back  our  in 
stitutions  to  the  great  assemblies  of  the  ancient  Germans,  as 
described  by  Caesar  and  Tacitus. 

We  do  not  come  to  oppress  or  subjugate  you.  We  come  to 
give  to  all  your  people  the  blessings  enjoyed  by  the  inhab 
itants  of  the  United  States — education,  liberty,  fraternity, 
prosperity 

Why  should  you  die  that  your  families  may  continue 
slaves  to  the  Hohenzollerns?  What  is  this  race  of  despots  to 
you,  that  the  life-blood  of  your  industry  should  be  forever 
sucked  out  of  you  to  maintain  them?  Why  should  you  pay 
the  cost  of  a  vast  standing  army,  whose  principal  object  is 
to  keep  you  in  subjection,  while  the  work  of  robbery  goes 
on?  How  much  of  the  fruits  of  your  own  industry  have  you 
enjoyed  yourselves?  How  much  of  it  has  gone  to  those  who 
gave  you  nothing  for  it?  Think  upon  those  questions  and 
answer  them  in  your  own  hearts 

What  say  you?  Will  you  be  free  men  or  slaves?  We 
grieve  over  every  drop  of  your  blood  that  is  shed.  We 
offered  your  emperor  to  withdraw  if  he  would  submit  the 
question  of  establishing  a  republic  to  the  vote  of  all  your 
people.  He  replied  by  attacking  us.  If  this  man  desires  to 
insist  on  the  subjugation  of  mankind  let  him  fight  it  out 
alone.  Or  let  those  aid  him  who  profit  by  his  misgovern- 
ment.  Let  the  emperor,  the  plutocracy,  the  aristocracy, 
come  out  and  die  for  their  advantages.  Why  should  you  die 
for  them,  who  are  yourselves  the  very  spoil  of  the  great 
game  of  oppression? 

If  we  conquer  your  emperor  we  will  give  to  every  man  in 
Germany  a  home,  a  farm,  a  house,  a  garden.  See  what  has 
been  done  in  England,  Ireland,  and  Scotland.  If  he  con 
quers  us,  you  remain  a  helpless  peasantry. 

Do  you  want  a  republic  ?    If  so,  refuse  to  shoot  your  liber- 


240  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

ators.  Raise  the  white  flag  and  march  over  to  the  side  of 
the  American  people.  We  will  receive  you  like  brethren 
and  treat  you  like  men. 

EPHRAIM  BENEZET, 

President  of  the  United  States  of  America,  and  Com 
mander-in-Chief  of  the  Army  of  Liberation. 

The  next  morning  the  prisoners,  after  giving  their 
parole  of  honor  not  to  fight  against  us  until  exchanged, 
were  provided  with  a  good  breakfast  and  marched 
back  to  their  own  lines,  under  a  flag  of  truce.  Then 
I  sent  up  half-a-dozen  balloons,  used  for  making  ob 
servations  ;  and,  taking  advantage  of  the  wind  which 
blew  toward  the  enemy's  lines,  a  white  shower  of  the 
addresses  was  let  loose  and  fell  all  over  the  German 
camp.  The  officers  in  the  balloons  reported  that 
they  could  see,  with  their  glasses,  the  soldiers  running 
and  picking  up  the  papers  in  all  directions,  and  walk 
ing  off  reading  them. 

There  were  a  few  skirmishes  that  day,  but  no  pitched 
battle.  My  purpose  was  to  give  time  for  the  German 
soldiers  to  think  over  what  was  said  in  the  address, 
and  so  I  avoided  a  general  action.  Spies  informed 
me  that  night  that  the  emperor  was  wounded,  and 
that  the  army  was  in  a  demoralized  condition,  and 
that,  in  one  instance,  an  officer  had  been  killed  for 
striking  a  soldier  for  insubordination.  The  men  were 
in  a  wonderful  ferment. 


CHAPTER  XXXIX. 

THE    THIRD    DAY    OF    THE    CONFLICT. 

I  FELT  certain  that  the  German  emperor  would 
order  an  early  attack  to  stop  the  spread  of  the  demoral 
ization.  The  soldiers  were  drawn  principally  from 
the  peasantry,  and  it  was  well  known  there  had  been, 
for  years  past,  great  discontent  among  them  over  ex 
isting  conditions,  and  at  heart  they  were  nearly  all 
republicans.  The  German  inherits  from  his  ancestors 
a  strong  love  of  liberty. 

So  I  was  not  surprised  when,  on  the  morning  of  the 
third  day,  the  German '  army  advanced  in  splendid 
order  against  us.  An  artillery  duel,  at  long  range, 
was  followed  by  the  brisk  rattle  of  rifles  as  the  two 
forces  drew  nearer  together. 

Suddenly  our  men  cried  out,  "  They  are  shooting 
over  our  heads!" 

And  our  officers  shouted  in  return,  "Fire  high!" 

It  was  indeed  an  extraordinary  sight:  two  armies 
steadily  advancing  on  each  other,  amid  the  blaze  of 
guns,  and  not  a  man  falling  on  either  side. 

I  could  see  the  German  officers  striking  the  men 
with  their  swords  and  beating  down  the  guns  to  the 
proper  level,  and  now  and  then  an  officer,  unpopular 
16  241 


242  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

from  his  arrogance  and  cruelty,  would  reel  and  fall 
from  his  saddle,  shot  by  his  own  men. 

And  still  the  battling  armies  drew  nearer  and 
nearer,  and  great  shouts  went  up  from  both  sides ;  the 
Germans  crying  "  America !  America ! "  and  our  people 
cheering  for  Germany.  In  a  moment  the  two  lines 
met  and  fraternized,  and  were  in  each  others'  arms, 
and  then  such  a  scene  followed  as  was  never  witnessed 
before  on  a  battle-field  since  time  began.  All  order 
was  lost;  the  American  and  German  flags  were  waved 
together;  the  men  literally  swarmed  around  the 
joined  standards  and  cheered,  and  broke  into  songs; 
one  instant  "  Der  Wacht  am  Rhein"  would  ring  out 
in  polyglot  words  from  hundreds  of  thousands  of 
throats,  and  in  a  little  while  "Columbia,  the  Gem 
of  the  Ocean,"  would  be  shouted,  as  if  the  whole 
multitude  would  split  their  throats. 

And  far  in  the  background  sped  away  the  wounded 
emperor,  surrounded  by  a  few  faithful  officers  of 
the  upper  class;  a  king  without  a  country. 

For,  as  we  advanced,  the  whole  people  rose  up  to 
meet  us  with  cheers  and  songs.  We  marched  com 
mingled,  a  regiment  of  Germans  and  a  regiment  of 
our  own  men,  and  a  great  cry  accompanied  us,  like 
a  wave,  ringing  from  the  populace,  "Germany  is  free! 
Germany  is  free!" 

And  it  was  magnificent  to  see  Sophie  riding  up 
and  down  the  line  on  her  white  charger.  Lord !  how 
they  cheered !  For  every  man  in  his  heart  worships 
woman,  even  as  he  worships  God.  For  is  not  woman 


THE   THIRD    DAY    OF   THE   CONFLICT.  243 

the  representative  of  God;  the  life-bringer,  the  per- 
petuator,  the  heart-principle,  the  lesser  creator?  God 
be  praised  for  woman,  forever  and  forever! 

Long  before  we  reached  Berlin  its  gates  were  thrown 
open  to  us,  for  the  lightning  had  told  the  whole 
story.  The  capital  welcomed  the  people;  liberty 
had  taken  possession  of  the  beautiful  city. 


CHAPTEE  XL. 

THE     DAY    OF    JUBILEE. 

EVENTS  followed  each  other  with  marvellous 
rapidity. 

The  German  emperor  fled  to  Austria.  On  the 
way  he  met  the  Austrian  emperor  flying  from  his 
people.  Together  they  turned  their  course  and  made 
their  way  to  Russia. 

Hungary  had  risen  and  declared  her  independence, 
and  was  calling  for  the  patriot,  Kossuth,  despite  his 
great  age,  -to  assume  the  position  of  president  of  the 
new  republic.  And  before  the  Austrian  emperor 
could  rally  his  forces  to  suppress  the  Hungarian  revolt, 
Austria  itself  had  risen  in  universal  rebellion,  and 
the  royal  family  had  to  fly.  Improvised  American 
flags  appeared  everywhere,  and  the  people  shouted 
like  madmen,  "America!  America!"  Wherever  the 
stars  and  stripes  appeared,  men  and  women  screamed 
their  applause,  their  faces  wet  with  tears.  The  flag 
meant  liberty,  justice,  fair-play,  equal  opportunities, 
prosperity,  plenty.  All  men  forgot  their  toils  and 
troubles;  it  was  an  universal  holiday — the  birth  of  a 
new  world. 

Poland,  gallant,  persecuted,  heroic,  noble  Poland, 
244 


THE   DAY   OP   JUBILEE.  245 

was  np  in  arms  from  end  to  end;  a  Diet  had  been 
called  to  form  a  constitution,  and  every  man  was 
drilling  to  meet  the  hated  foe. 

And  the  Irish  provisional  government  telegraphed 
from  Tara  to  the  Polish  provisional  government  at 
Warsaw : 

"  Glory  be  to  (rod  in  the  highest,  and  on  earth 
peace,  good  will  toward  men." 

And  the  government  at  Warsaw  telegraphed  to 
Tara: 

"The  Spirit  of  the  Lord  God  is  upon  me;  he  hath 
sent  me  to  preach  good  tidings  into  the  meek;  he 
hath  sent  me  to  bind  up  the  broken-hearted;  to  pro 
claim  liberty  to  the  captives,  and  the  opening  of  the 
prison  to  them  that  are  bound." 

And  the  king  of  Denmark  telegraphed  me  to  know 
if  he  could  not  keep  his  throne  by  making  the  country 
otherwise  a  republic. 

And  Sophie  found  the  message  on  my  table  and 
answered  it  with  one  word : 

"SCAT!" 

And  all  Europe  roared  with  laughter,  that  a  Kansas 
work-girl  could  cry  "Scat!"  to  a  king. 

Verily  the  day  of  Jubilee  had  come. 

And  when  the  Danish  king  got  Sophie's  message, 
he  packed  his  carpet-bag  and  lit  out  for  Russia.  And 
the  next  train  held  the  royal  family  of  Sweden  and 
Norway. 

And  then  I  sent  a  large  force,  under  the  command 
of  General  Davis  of  Texas,  to  Italy;  but  the  Italian 


246  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

monarchy  dissolved  before  our  troops  readied  the 
boundary  of  the  country.  The  people  had  been 
taxed  until  they  were  starved,  and  it  was  a  physical 
impossibility  to  carry  on  the  government  farther. 

And  then  came  the  news  of  a  tremendous  upris 
ing  in  Spain,  under  the  great  orator  and  statesman, 
Emilio  Castelar,  and  the  proclamation  of  the  Spanish 
republic  followed. 

And  thereupon  I  issued  this  decree: 

In  the  name  of  the  Most  High  God,  and  the  American 
people,  I,  Ephraim  Benezet,  President  of  the  United  States, 
and  Commander- in -Chief  of  the  Army  of  Liberation,  do 
hereby  decree : 

I.  The  establishment  of  a  new  nation,  to  be  called  "The 
United  Republics  of  Europe." 

II.  Each  republic  shall  elect  two  delegates  for  every  million 
of  its  population,  to  meet  at  Luzerne,  Switzerland,  on  the 
15th  day  of  November  next,  as  a  constitutional  convention, 
to  agree  upon  the  terms  of  confederation. 

"And  they  shall  beat  their  swords  into  ploughshares,  and 
their  spears  into  pruning-hooks ;  nation  shall  not  lift  up 
sword  against  nation ;  neither  shall  they  learn  war  any 
more. " 

EPHRAIM  BENEZET. 

And  a  great  cry  of  joy  went  up  from  all  the  people, 
and  men,  strangers,  embraced  each  other  on  the 
public  streets  from  sheer  happiness;  for  truly  it 
seemed  to  them  that  the  Day  of  Jubilee  had  come, 
and  that  the  Lord  God  walked  abroad  in  all  the  land. 

But  there  was  much  to  be  done  yet. 

And  so  I  constituted  a  provisional  government  of 
"The  United  Republics  of  Europe,"  and  noble  little 


THE   DAY   OF   JUBILEE.  247 

Switzerland,  mother  of  republics,  gave  us  ten  miles 
square  upon  the  shores  of  Lake  Lucerne;  and  I  laid 
out  a  great  city  there,  which  was  called  "Liberty" 
(holding  the  lots  at  a  nominal  price  for  actual  occu 
pants  only),  and  we  built  a  great  hall  for  the  coming 
convention,  and  the  city  grew  like  magic. 

And  there  were  millions  of  men  who  had  been 
soldiers  in  the  standing  armies  of  the  different  nations, 
and  who  were  turned  out  to  starve,  and  all  these  I 
enrolled,  temporarily,  in  the  great  Army  of  Libera 
tion,  for  I  saw  that  all  the  flying  enemies  of  mankind, 
emperors,  kings,  princes  and  aristocrats,  were  con 
centrating  in  Russia — that  land  so  utterly  given  over 
to  ignorance,  superstition,  fanaticism,  and  despotism 
that  it  was  to  be  the  last  abiding-place  of  the  devil 
of  injustice  on  earth.  And  1  foresaw  that  one  more 
great  battle,  the  greatest  ever  fought  in  the  history 
of  the  world,  was  yet  to  be  waged  in  Eussia,  and  that 
there  was  no  argument  that  would  reach  the  people 
of  that  country  but  the  dread,  final  argument  of 
Force.  Napoleon  had  prophesied,  at  Saint  Helena, 
that  Europe  was  to  become  eventually  all  Tartar  or 
all  Republican.  The  hour  of  destiny  was  about  to 
strike  on  the  clock  of  time.  Either  we  must  wipe 
out  that  jcolossal  wrong  or  we  must  fall  before  it. 

Nothing  was  won  until  everything  was  won.  It  is 
true  the  educated  class  in  that  country  were  Nihilists, 
for  only  dynamite  could  blast  a  hole  in  the  old  walls 
of  that  vast  despotism,  through  which  the  light  of 
liberty  might  break;  but  the  scholars  and  thinkers 


248  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

were  overwhelmed  under  the  numbers  of  an  ignorant 
populace,  ruled  by  the  most  desperate  religious  bigotry 
and  superstition  the  world  had  ever  known. 

For  all  the  works  necessary  to  be  done,  and  for 
the  support  of  our  vast  army,  I  caused  legal-tender 
paper  money  of  the  provisional  government  of  "  The 
United  Republics  of  Europe"  to  be  issued.  I  could, 
of  course,  have  created  gold  coin  sufficient  for  all  our 
wants,  but  I  had  already  issued  such  vast  quantities 
of  that  metal  that  I  feared  a  depreciation  of  it  in 
value.  Moreover,  I  desired  to  familiarize  the  world 
with  the  use  of  national  "greenbacks,"  and  pave  the 
way  for  that  day  when  metallic  money  would  cease  to 
exist.  I  believed  that  it  was  the  duty  of  government 
to  supply  the  people  with  a  medium  of  exchange  that 
would  rest  purely  on  the  fiat  of  the  government;  the 
same  fiat  that  could  take  all  the  possessions  of  the 
citizen  and  shove  him  forward  to  the  front  of  battle 
to  be  slain;  the  same  fiat  which,  through  its  courts, 
settled  all  questions  of  property  and  right  between 
citizens,  and  sent  the  guilty  to  the  scaffold  or  the 
guillotine;  that  fiat  which  was  the  greatest  earthly 
power  known  in  the  affairs  of  man. 

After  some  millions  of  paper  money  of  the  provi 
sional  government  had  been  put  forth,  the -bankers 
of  Europe — whom  I  had  left  undisturbed  in  the  pur 
suit  of  their  business — entered  into  a  conspiracy  to 
stop  the  progress  of  events  by  refusing  to  take  it,  on 
the  ground  that  no  fund  of  gold  had  been  provided 
for  its  redemption;  and  they  laughed  and  chuckled 


THE   DAY   OF  JUBILEE.  249 

among  themselves  immensely,  when  they  thought  that 
they  had  brought  battle-fields  and  universal  public 
opinion  to  naught,  by  their  little  shop-trick. 

I  immediately  telegraphed  to  every  city  in  Europe 
to  seize  upon  all  the  money  in  the  vaults  of  all  the 
banks,  and  close  up  those  institutions,  and  I  issued 
the  following  decree: 

Whereas,  a  lot  of  bankers,  who  have  not  the  courage  to 
resist  the  advance  of  mankind  in  open  war,  have  attempted 
to  arrest  it,  by  discrediting  the  paper  money  issued  by  a 
power  great  enough  to  take  their  worthless  lives ; 

And  whereas,  they  have  done  this  on  the  pretence  that  no 
fund  in  gold  has  been  provided  for  the  redemption  of  said 
paper  money  : 

And  whereas,  the  government  is  desirous  to  satisfy  the  hon 
est  scruples  of  all  men  , 

It  is  therefore  decreed  . 

I.  That  all  banking  houses  of  issue  or  deposit  are  hereby  for 
ever  abolished  in  Europe,  and  no  person  shall  deal  in  moneys 
except  the  duly  appointed  agents  and  officers  of  the  govern 
ment. 

II.  Every  existing  banking  corporation  is  hereby  placed  in 
the  hands  of  a  receiver,  to  be  appointed  by  the  provisional 
government,  whose  duty  it  shall  be  to  first  repay  to  the  citi 
zens    all    deposits    made    with    such   banking   house,    and 
collect  all  debts  due  them ;  and  all  the  property,  moneys,  and 
effects  of  said  banking  houses  and  the  corporators  or  mem 
bers  thereof,  are  hereby  confiscated,  to  be  used  as  a  guaran 
tee  fund  for  the  paper  money  of  the  provisional  government, 
so  that  hereafter  no  man  shall  say  that  it  is  not  perfectly 
safe  and  worth  the  face  of  the  same. 

III.  In  addition  to  the  postal  savings  banks  now  in  use  in 
most  of   the   nations,  there  is  hereby   established,  in  every 
town   of  over  5, 000  inhabitants,  a  sub-treasury,   to  receive 
deposits,  make  loans,  and  buy  and  sell  exchange  ;  it  being  the 
object  of  the  government  to  prevent,  as  far  as  possible,  the 


250  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

government's  instrumentalities  of  exchange,  for  the  facili 
tation  of    commerce,  being  seized  upon,  monopolized,  and 
turned  into  a  commodity,  so  that  they  cannot  be  used  by  the 
public  without  paying  tribute  to  individuals. 

EPHRAIM  BENEZET, 

President  of  the  United  States,  and  President  of  the  Provis 
ional  Government  of  the  United  Republics  of  Europe. 

How  all  the  nations  laughed  over  the  way  in  which 
I  satisfied  the  scruples  of  the  bankers!  And  how 
the  bankers  roared  with  grief  and  terror,  when  they 
realized  how  impotent  their  tricks  were  in  the  iron 
grasp  of  power!  And  what  a  vast  fund  of  billions 
of  dollars  rolled  into  the  national  "treasury,  and  was 
lent  out  at  two  per  cent  per  annum  to  encourage 
business  enterprises  of  all  kinds!  And  how  pros 
perity  leaped  forward,  released  from  those  blood 
sucking  vampires,  the  usurers! 

And  everywhere  the  land  was  subdivided,  and  rail 
roads  built  to  open  up  new  territories  to  settlement, 
and  houses  and  gardens  were  created  as  if  by  magic, 
and  the  whole  land  laughed  with  happiness. 

And  the  national  debts!  There  was,  indeed,  a 
problem.  Misgovernment;  villanous,  unnecessary 
wars;  corruption;  the  mistresses  and  bastards  of  kings; 
the  vices  and  rottenness  of  courts,  had  heaped  them  u  p 
until  it  became  a  physical  impossibility  for  the  people 
to  pay  the  interest  upon  them.  The  whole  produc 
tive  power  of  the  continent  was  unequal  to  the  task. 
Nature  had  repudiated  them  before  the  national  gov 
ernments  could  act  upon  them.  They  fell  of  their 
own  weight. 


THE   DAY  OP  JUBILEE.  251 

Upon  my  recommendation  each  nation  appointed  a 
commission,  which  took  testimony  to  show  where  the 
failure  to  pay  the  interest  on  the  national  debt  would 
work  destitution  and  actual  want  to  individuals  who 
had  all  their  fortunes  invested  in  such  funds;  and  in 
these  cases  a  reasonable  pension  was  paid  during  the 
life-time  of  the  sufferers.  But  otherwise  the  govern 
ments  had  no  interest  in  the  preservation  of  colossal 
fortunes,  which  gave  men  power  for  evil  over  their 
fellows.  What  was  needed  was  not  a  few  greatly 
rich,  but  all  greatly  happy.  A  millionaire  repre 
sents  the  farthest  swing  of  the  pendulum  from  a 
pauper;  one  was  the  cause  and  the  correlative  of  the 
other.  What  was  needed  was  to  abolish  both.  And 
we  did  it. 

And  the  anarchists  disappeared.  They  represented 
simply  the  protest  of  passionate  men  against  horrible 
conditions.  They  were  like  those  who,  to  escape  the 
crushing  miseries  of  life,  kill  themselves.  They  were 
ready  to  blow  up  a  dreadfully  misgoverned  world  with 
dynamite. 

And  the  whole  land  swarmed  with  men,  learned 
and  unlearned,  who  propounded  a  thousand  plans  for 
the  betterment  of  man's  condition.  But  the  press  and 
the  ballot-box  were  open  to  them  all,  and  all  Europe 
became  a  great  debating  school,  where  one  after  the 
other  they  exposed  each  other's  impracticable  schemes, 
and  eliminated  out  of  the  uproar  and  confusion  those 
things  which  stood  the  test  of  discussion  and  were 
good  for  humanity.  And  a  mighty  spirit  of  philan- 


252  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

thropy  swept  over  the  whole  land;  and  man  was  no 
longer  a  drug;  a  creature  to  be  squeezed  down  by 
"the  iron  law  of  wages"  into  a  pauper's  grave;  a 
something  to  be  booted  and  kicked  and  starved  off 
the  face  of  the  planet.  And  the  beauty  and  grandeur 
of  humanity,  "  so  infinite  in  faculty,  in  form  and  mo 
tion,  so  express  and  admirable;  in  action  so  like  an 
angel;  in  apprehension  so  like  a  god,  the  beauty  of 
the  world,  the  paragon  of  animals,"  became  patent 
to  all  men,  even  to  those  who  held  their  noses  highest 
in  the  world.  And  the  peasant's  child,  with  its 
bright  eyes  and  rounded  limbs  and  glowing  hair,  was 
a  fairer  sight  than  the  sculptured  gods  of  the  ancient 
Athenians.  For  Divinity  shone  in  every  line  of  the 
renewed,  rejuvenated,  and  redeemed  humanity. 


CHAPTER  XLI. 

ARMAGEDDON. 

BUT  all  this  time  I  was  gathering  up  my  faculties 
for  the  last  great  conflict. 

Nine  toes  of  the  image  of  Daniel — England,  Spain, 
Germany,  Austria,  Portugal,  Sweden,  and  Norway, 
Denmark,  Greece,  and  Italy,  had  crumbled ;  the  iron 
and  clay  had  been  dissolved,  and  only  one  more, 
Russia,  the  biggest  toe  of  all,  remained.  But  I  knew 
that  God  had  foreordained,  thousands  of  years  ago, 
that  "the  stone  cut  out  of  the  mountain  without 
hands  "  should  fall  upon  and  crush  it.  And  is  not 
our  republic,  resting  upon  the  broad  base  of  the  popu 
lar  will,  a  mountain,  culminating  in  the  sharp  crest  of 
concentrated  authority?  And  had  not  the  American 
republic  been  built  without  hands,  save  only  the 
hands  of  the  Almighty  ?  It  was  not  made.  It  grew 
inevitably  out  of  its  surroundings.  No  man  can  put 
his  finger  down  and  say,  "  Here  liberty  and  constitu 
tional  government  began."  Its  principles  were  born 
before  the  colonists  left  their  ships. 

I  gathered  two  million  men  in  Poland.  I  believed 
with  Napoleon  that  the  best  way  to  conduct  a  defen- 

253 


254  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

sive  warfare  was  by  offensive  measures.  I  proposed 
to  attack  the  Russian  bear  in  his  den. 

Our  forces  stretched  from  Grodno  to  Wilna.  We 
seized  upon  the  great  railway  running  from  Warsaw 
to  St.  Petersburg.  The  troops  of  the  Czar  gathered 
to  the  defence  of  their  capital.  They  tore  up  the 
tracks  and  burned  the  bridges  as  we  advanced.  But 
what  was  that  to  Yankees?  Our  ranks  contained  men 
of  every  pursuit  known  to  civilization,  and  every 
workman  was  intelligent  enough  to  command.  The 
fruits  of  the  public-school  system,  continued  through 
serveral  generations,  had  added  one  hundred  percent 
age  to  the  powers  of  the  race.  As  the  track  was  torn 
up,  we  relaid  it;  as  the  bridges  were  burned  we 
rebuilt  them.  We  had  the  granaries  and  forests  of 
Poland  to  draw  upon.  The  poorest  peasant  offered 
all  he  had  freely.  This  was  the  world's  battle,  and 
every  man  understood  it. 

What  an  army  it  was !  In  the  centre  were  the  vic 
tors  of  Canada  and  Germany,  white  and  black,  under 
the  command  of  General  Taubeneck  of  Illinois.  The 
right  wing  was  made  up  of  Frenchmen,  Germans,  and 
Italians,  under  General  Washburn  of  Massachusetts; 
the  left  wing,  under  General  Gaither  of  Alabama,  was 
composed  of  Scandinavians,  Austrians,  Spaniards, 
Portuguese,  and  even  Moors  from  beyond  the  Medi 
terranean.  The  reserves  were  under  the  command  of 
Sophie;  they  were  made  up  of  choice  troops  from  all 
parts  of  Europe. 

It  was  impossible  to  move  so  vast  a  host  in  any 


ARMAGEDDON.  255 

small  area,  and  while  we  used  the  great  railway  to 
carry  forward  supplies,  our  extreme  right  reached 
nearly  to  Minsk,  and  our  skirmishers  on  the  left 
touched  upon  Kovna.  The  peasants  fled  as  we  ad 
vanced  into  the  Russian  provinces,  and  the  few  cap 
tured  by  our  troops  were  sullen  and  hostile.  Some 
of  our  straggling  soldiers,  when  we  reached  the  prov 
ince  of  Pskov,  were  killed,  beaten  to  death  by  the 
brutalized  inhabitants.  The  country  was  flat  and 
sandy,  with  many  swamps,  which  divided  our  forces 
more  than  was  desirable. 

At  Ostrov  we  met  the  advance  guard  of  the  Russian 
army.  Some  skirmishing  followed,  and  I  began  to 
concentrate  our  forces. 

It  was  time,  for  at  daybreak  the  Russian  army 
fell  upon  our  centre  with  terrible  force  and  impetuosity, 
led  by  the  Czar  in  person.  Soon  our  entire  line  was 
engaged,  and  as  fresh  troops  came  up  they  were 
moved  into  place.  It  was  a  terrible  conflict.  "We 
soon  found  we  had  no  children  to  deal  with.  The 
Russian  soldiers  fought  with  fanatical,  dogged  fury, 
and  died  with  the  spirit  of  martyrs.  It  was  terrible 
to  see  such  enthusiasm  wasted  in  behalf  of  ignorance 
and  despotism.  The  god-like  in  man  can  be  per 
verted  into  the  devil -like. 

All  day  long  the  battle  raged  and  the  slaughter  on 
both  sides  was  fearful.  Night  put  an  end  to  the  con 
flict,  and  we  found  time  to  bury  our  dead. 

There  was  led  into  my  tent  about  midnight  a  Rus 
sian  officer  who  had  surrendered  himself  to  our  picket 


256  THE    GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

guard.  He  was  a  handsome  man,  with  a  most  deter 
mined  countenance.  His  name  was  Alexis  Karsinoff; 
he  was  a  major  in  the  troops  from  Nishni-Novgorod. 
He  told  me,  in  French,  that  he  was  a  Nihilist,  and 
that  the  greater  part  of  the  officers  of  his  part  of  the 
army  were  Nihilists. 

They  had  agreed  that  the  only  way  to  defeat  the 
Russian  army,  and  secure  liberty  for  their  afflicted 
country,  was  to  kill  the  Czar  in  the  heat  of  battle. 
This  would  demoralize  the  fanatical  peasants.  They 
had  selected  one  of  their  number,  a  colonel  in  the 
royal  body-guard  (he  did  not  give  his  name) ,  to  slay 
the  Czar  in  the  midst  of  the  next  day's  fight.  And 
he  had  corne  to  tell  me,  so  that  the  moment  the  panic 
appeared,  which  was  certain  to  follow  the  act,  I 
might  press  the  advantage  and  win  the  victory. 

I  shuddered  as  the  major  coolly  told  me  his  story. 

"  The  American  army  cannot  profit  by  assassina 
tion,"  I  said. 

"Nor  would  we,"  he  replied,  "if  we  were  free. 
But  what  can  we  do?  One  man  sits  on  the  neck  of 
millions.  We  are  denied  the  ballot-box,  free  press, 
free  speech,  the  right  of  assembly,  even  the  right  to 
humbly  petition  for  the  improvement  of  our  condition 
or  the  redress  of  grievances;  while  the  Greek  church 
is.  the  shameless  ally  of  this  despotism,  and  keeps  the 
wretched  peasantry  in  ignorance  and  superstition,  that 
they  may  be  the  more  readily  controlled  by  the  gov 
ernment.  It  is  a  conspiracy  of  bigotry  and  force 
against  mankind.  We  have  no  remedy  but  assa^sina- 


ARMAGEDDON.  257 

tion.  It  is  that  or  submission.  The  crime  be  upon 
the  heads  of  those  who  have  denied  us  any  other  way 
of  protesting  against  injustice.  Is  it  not  better  that 
a  few  should  die  if  thereby  millions  may  be  made 
happy  for  all  time?" 

"Unhappy  men,"  I  replied,  "I  perceive  the  diffi 
culties  of  your  position.  No  man  has  a  right  to  life 
at  the  cost  of  the  moral  and  physical  death  of  all  his 
countrymen.  But  the  American  army  cannot  win 
victories  by  the  aid  of  murder.  I  shall  feel  it  my 
duty  to  warn  the  Gzar  of  his  impending  danger.  At 
the  same  time  you  are  free  to  go  or  stay  at  your 
pleasure." 

He  asked  permission  to  remain  and  fight  as  a  pri 
vate  in  our  ranks.  This  was  granted  him,  and  he 
withdrew. 

At  daybreak  a  flag  of  truce  bore  the  following 
letter  to  the  Russian  lines: 

To  THE  CZAK  : — I  would  be  glad  to  see  you  dead,  for  you 
stand  in  the  way,  blocking  the  advance  of  civilization.  You 
live  at  the  cost  of  uncountable  suffering  to  your  fellow-men. 
But  there  is  a  wide  difference  between  war  and  assassina 
tion.  I  therefore  notify  you  that  information  has  come  to 
me  that  your  officers  are  honeycombed  with  Nihilism,  and 
that  one  of  your  body-guard  has  been  selected  to  kill  you 
to-day  in  the  heat  of  battle.  Be  on  your  guard. 

EPHRAIM  BENEZET, 
President  of  the  United  States. ' 

The  Czar,  as  I  learned  afterward,  read  this  letter, 
scowled  on  those  around  him,  and  placed  it  in  his 
bosom.     It  was  found  there  after  his  death. 
17 


258  THE    GOLDEN    BOTTLE. 

The  sun  had  not  yet  risen  when  the  battle  was  re 
sumed  with  terrible  fury.  All  morning  it  raged  with 
varying  fortunes.  We  hurled  army  after  army  upon 
that  huge,  stolid,  living  wall,  but  in  vain.  The 
dead  were  piled  in  ramparts  between  the  combatants. 

It  was  plain  to  be  seen  that  we  outnumbered  the 
enemy,  but  their  courage  was  magnificent. 

I  sent  an  order  to  Sophie: 

Send  50,000  infantry,  with  artillery  and  cavalry,  to  move 
around  the  right  flank  of  the  enemv  and  fall  upon  them 
in  the  rear. 

EPHRAIM  BENEZET. 

A  French  subaltern,  dusty  and  haggard,  rode  up  to 
me  and  handed  me  this  note,  written  on  the  inside  of 
an  old  envelope: 

I  am  coming,  qne  hundred  thousand  strong.  Charge  to 
meet  me. 

SOPHIE. 

I  was  near  one  of  the  points  of  observation,  from 
which  anchored  balloons  had  been  sent  to  a  great 
height,  communicating  with  the  earth  by  fine  tele 
graph  wires. 

I  telephoned  the  officer  in  the  balloon  to  watch  the 
rear  of  the  right  flank  of  the  enemy,  and  keep  me 
informed  of  what  he  saw. 

It  was  one  hour  before  I  received  any  message  from 
the  balloon.  Then  it  came: 

MR.  PRESIDENT  : — There  is  now — 1 :  30  p.  M.  —a  great  dust 
cloud  rising  all  along  the  horizon,  in  the  rear  of  the  Russian 


ARMAGEDDON.  259 

army.     It  seems  to  be  caused  by  large  masses  of  armed  men, 
probably  reinforcements  of  the  enemy. 

J.   A.   FONTLEROY, 

Col.  Commanding  Balloon  271. 

I  had  scarcely  read  it  before  another  aide  dashed  up 
from  the  field  telegraph  station,  and  handed  me  a  slip 
of  paper.  It  read: 

MR.  PRESIDENT  :— At  this  time — 1 :  45  p.  M.  —the  dust  cloud 
resolves  itself  into  hundreds  of  thousands  of  armed  men. 

1 :  55  o'clock  P.  M. — Hurrah  !  Our  glasses  show  they  carry 
the  American  flag.  They  are  coming  on  the  run.  It  is  an 
immense  host. 

J.  A.  FONTLEROY, 
Col.  Com.  Balloon  271. 

Another  furious  rider  dashed  up  with  a  message  in 
his  hand: 

2  o'clock  P.  M. 

MR.  PRESIDENT  : — They  are  within  one  mile  of  the  Russian 
rear.  The  cannon  have  opened  on  the  foe.  A  woman  rides 
at  their  head,  on  a  white  horse.  Hurrah !  It  is  General 
Sophie ! 

J.  A.  FONTLEROY. 

"God  bless  her!"  I  shouted. 

Right  and  left  the  aides  flew,  and  soon  the  field 
telegraph  lines  carried  the  orders  for  a  general  ad 
vance. 

"Forward,  forward,  boys!  forward,"  I  cried,  as  I 
sprang  to  my  horse. 

The  telegraph  had  done  its  work.  A  wave  of  ring 
ing  cheers  rose  above  the  thunder  of  our  cannon, 
responded  to  by  faintly  heard  cheers,  and  the  boom- 


260  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

ing  of  artillery  beyond  the  Russian  lines.  What  a 
sight  it  was  as  our  many-colored  tidal -wave  of  men 
rolled  forward  upon  the  devoted  Russians! 

I  spurred  to  the  front  on  our  left  flank,  intending 
to  unite  with  the  forces  led  by  Sophie,  and  in  a  few 
moments  I  was  in  the  thick  of  the  dreadful  carnage. 
The  weight  of  our  numbers  and  the  impetus  of  our 
charge  carried  us  crashing  through  the  Muscovite 
lines;  but  they  were  heroes,  those  barbarians,  and 
they  stood  back  to  back,  defending  themselves  from 
the  attacks  from  front  and  rear. 

And  then  I  caught  sight  of  Sophie! 

She  was  rushing  forward  among  the  broken  ranks 
of  the  Russ.  It  was  a  magnificent  sight.  Her 
white  horse  spurned  the  earth;  her  eyes  flashed  with 
the  fire  of  battle;  her  dark  hair  flew  on  the  wind 
behind  her;  her  sword  waved  in  the  air. 

My  God!     She  is  down! 

A  Russian  cannon-ball  struck  the  white  steed  full 
in  the  breast  and  tore  it  assunder. 

She  is  killed  ! 

No;  I  can  see  her  on  one  knee,  struggling  to  disen 
gage  her  foot  from  the  stirrup.  The  soldiers  swarm 
around  to  protect  her  with  their  bodies. 

Then  I  saw  a  gigantic  Polander,  from  Kovno, 
seize  her  in  his  huge  arms,  as  if  she  were  a  child,  and 
place  her  upon  his  shoulders. 

She  was  unhurt !  I  could  hear  the  roar  of  applause 
and  laughter  where  I  stood.  She  buried  her  left 
hand  in  the  mop  of  yellow  hair  of  the  giant  to  steady 


ARMAGEDDON.  261 

herself,  waved  her  sword,  and  in  her  high,  ringing 
voice  shouted,  "Forward!" 

The  wave  of  men  had  paused  when  she  fell,  and 
a  great  "Oh!"  rose  from  a  hundred  thousand  brawny 
breasts,  as  if  each  man  had  been  himself  struck;  but 
Lord!  how  they  sprang  forward  with  the  towering 
giant  at  their  head,  and  Sophie  on  his  shoulders,  her 
sword  glittering  like  a  meteor  over  death  and  glory. 

"Forward!  forward!"  rang  the  cry. 

And  the  Muscovites!  They  did  not  fly;  they  did 
not  yield.  No;  they  stood  in  their  tracks  and  were 
hewn  down  for  God  and  the  Church.  Their  courage 
was  magnificent. 

And  at  that  moment  the  brawny,  bearded  Colonel 
Tischinoff,  cool  as  an  icicle,  and  his  small  black  eyes, 
deep-set,  glowing  like  sparks  of  fire,  rode  up  to  the 
Czar,  close  up  to  him,  and  drawing  a  revolver  shot 
him  squarely  through  the  head.  And  before  the 
astonished  officers  could  draw  sword,  he  placed  the 
pistol  to  his  own  head  and  fell  a  corpse  beside  the 
dead  emperor! 

And  then  the  panic! 

"The  Czar  is  dead!  The  Czar  is  dead!"  rang 
the  cry. 

It  was  as  if  men  had  shouted  to  those  beleaguered, 
fanatical  peasants,  "God  is  dead!"  For  the  Czar  was 
their  god. 

Some  ran  wildly,  unarmed,  and  threw  themselves 
upon  the  bayonets  of  their  foes.  Others  fled  to  the 
hill-top,  cast  away  their  guns,  and  surrendered. 


262  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

All  is  over. 

No;  not  all.  For  then  came  a  sight  the  ages  will 
love  to  paint  forever! 

Down  over  the  thickly  strewn  field,  carpeted  with 
the  dead  and  dying,  came  a  great  army  of  men. 

Sophie,  on  her  strange  steed,  rode  at  the  head.  Fore 
head  and  cheeks  and  chin  were  black  with  war-dust 
and  smoke;  but  her  eyes  and  the  straight  array  of 
pearly  teeth  shone  out  of  the  disfigurement.  And 
she  laughed  aloud  in  a  wild  ecstasy,  and  patted  the 
giant's  yellow  head,  as  one  might  the  mane  of  a 
favorite  steed.  And  the  Polander  roared !  His  open 
mouth  in  the  midst  of  his  bearded  face  looked  like 
a  cave  in  the  side  of  a  bushy  hill.  And  he  rolled 
his  eyes  up  as  to  a  divinity. 

Oh!  his  posterity  for  twenty  generations  will  tell 
the  tale  of  this  day's  work. 

And  the  multitude! — the  vast  array  laughed  and 
in  a  dozen  dialects  shouted  "The  Queen!  The 
Queen!" 

And  Sophie  saw  me.  And,  leaning  forward,  she 
took  the  giant  by  his  great,  bulbous  nose  and  steered 
him  straight  to  me. 

And  when  she  came  where  I  stood,  surrounded  by 
acres  of  hurrahing  and  exulting  soldiers,  she  leaped 
lightly  from  the  Polander's  shoulders,  and  flung  her 
self  into  my  arms,  and  kissed  me  before  them  all, 
and  cried: 

"Didn't  we  give  it  to  'em!      Oh,  if  Kansas  could 
have  seen  it!" 


ARMAGEDDON.  263 

"  The  world  saw  it,  Sophie,  and  will  continue  to 
see  it  forever." 

Yes !  A  Yankee  woman  had  won  Armageddon !  A 
Western  girl  had  achieved  the  Millennium! 

The  thousand  years  of  peace  and  happiness  and 
love  had  begun,  amid  the  corpses  of  that  bloody  bat 
tle-field;  the  last  battle-field  of  the  ages. 


CHAPTEE   XLII. 

THE     MILLENNIUM. 

FROM  St.  Petersburg  I  put  forth  this  proclamation : 

The  people  must  prepare  themselves  to  enjoy  unending 
peace  and  liberty. 

The  greatest  danger  to  the  nations  is  ignorance.  Univer 
sal  education  is  the  basis  of  all  progress. 

The  highest  crime  known  to  mankind  is  to  keep  the  peo 
ple  in  mental  darkness. 

Let  all  doctrines  be  tested  by  investigation,  and  that  which 
is  true  will  endure,  and  that  which  is  false  will  perish.  We 
cannot  maintain  error  at  the  sacrifice  of  mankind.  An  ig 
norant  mind  is  a  reproach  to  man,  and  an  offence  and  a  pol 
lution  to  God. 

Great  Father !  Thou  hast  given  us  liberty.  Give  us  light ! 
Let  thy  flat  go  forth  as  in  the  old  days  when  thou  saidst : 
"'Let  there  be  light, '  and  there  was  light." 

Let  every  brain  shine  like  an  electric  lamp  in  the  midst  of 
the  twilight  of  nature.  Let  every  soul  be  a  temple  of  knowl 
edge  of  thee  and  thy  marvelous  and  boundless  works.  Thou 
hast  swept  away  our  rulers  ;  make  us  fit,  by  wisdom  and  learn 
ing,  to  rule  ourselves.  Let  us  never  forget  that  whenwe  dele 
gate  to  another  the  task  of  thinking  we  appoint  our  master 
and  enthrone  our  tyrant.  He  who  thinks  for  us  will  inevit 
ably,  eventually,  take  the  profits  of  our  industry.  To  be  free 
we  must  be  fit  to  be  free.  All  else  is  mockery  and  decep 
tion — "  leather  and  prunella. " 

Every  child  in  Russia  must  have  education ;  and  he  that 
stands  in  the  way,  be  he  priest  or  prelate,  shall  perish.  If 

204 


THE   MILLENNIUM.  265 

there  is  anything  in  the  creeds  of  men  that  will  not  bear  the 
light  of  day,  away  with  it  it  is  accursed.  God's  truth  can 
not  undo  man's  truth.  Intelligence  is  fatal  only  to  super 
stition.  That  which  falls  before  the  advance  of  knowledge 
is  only  error.  Light !  Light !  Let  the  world  have  universal 
light ! 

"God  works  in  all  things;  all  obey 

His  first  propulsion  from  the  night. 
Wake  thou  and  watch !    The  world  is  gray 
With  morning  light. " 

All  injustice  is  from  this  day  abolished  in  Russia.  The 
land  will  be  divided  in  small  tracts  among  the  actual  oc 
cupants,  and  houses  will  be  built  for  them.  But  any  man 
who,  at  the  end  of  ten  years,  cannot  prove  that  he  is  able  to 
read  and  write,  will  forfeit  his  possessions,  unless  he  is  over 
seventy  years  of  age  at  the  date  of  this  proclamation.  Public 
free  schools  shall  be  established  for  every  two  hundred  schol 
ars,  youths  and  adults.  All  things  are  for  the  intelligent ;  no 
thing  for  the  voluntary  ignorant.  The  people  must  use  their 
brains  or  get  off  the  land  ;  the  illiterate  and  the  vicious  have 
no  right  to  cumber  the  earth ;  they  exist  upon  it  only  by 
the  toleration  of  their  fellows.  Every  man  must  contribute 
the  fruits  of  his  intelligence  to  the  advance  of  the  whole 
mass. 

EPHRAIM  BENEZET, 

President  of  the  United  States  and  President  of  the  Provis 
ional  Government  of  the  United  Republics  of  Europe. " 

I  felt  sure  that  if  we  could  compel  the  Eussian 
people  to  read  and  write,  for  three  years,  we 
would  break  down  the  horrible  power  of  the  Greek 
church,  which  had  for  centuries  held  them  in  ignor 
ance  and  squalor,  the  abject  and  unreasoning  slaves 
of  the  worst  despotism  on  earth,  and  the  devout  fol 
lowers  of  childish  fables  which  were  enough  to  make 
the  whole  world  roar  with  laughter. 


266  THE   GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

There  were  in  southern  and  eastern  Russia  vast 
regions  of  country  possessing  a  fertile  soil,  but  unin 
habited,  because  of  the  distance  from  railroads  and  the 
affliction  of  droughts.  They  had  been  owned  by 
great  lords  and  were  not  worth  a  penny  an  acre. 
These  I  confiscated,  built  long  lines  of  railroad  through 
them,  laid  out  cities  on  my  usual  plan;  divided  the 
land  into  small  tracts ;  built  houses  and  settled  in  them 
the  soldiers  who  had  belonged  to  the  standing  armies 
of  the  different  nations.  I  foresaw  that  if  these  vast 
masses  of  men  were  left  unemployed,  they  would 
press  upon  and  impoverish  labor,  breed  discontent, 
and  create  turbulence.  But,  believing  that  race- 
clannishness  was  altogether  evil,  I  interspersed  the 
different  nations  with  each  other,  and  compelled  the 
teaching  of  English  in  all  the  schools.  Thus  in  the 
next  generation  there  would  be  a  mingling  of  race- 
stocks,  with  a  consequent  vast  increase  of  the  powers 
of  the  human  race,  physical  and  mental;  and  they 
would  all  be  able  to  speak  the  same  language,  and 
that  the  language  destined  to  become  the  universal 
tongue  of  the  world.  Dialects  are  like  mountain 
chains  and  rivers ;  they  serve  to  divide  and  antagonize 
mankind.  They  are  all  of  them  barbarian  variations, 
born  of  isolation  and  ignorance,  out  of  the  parent 
tongue  of  "  Atlantis,"  the  antediluvian  world,  of  which 
Aryan  is  one  of  the  earliest  forms.  Civilization  is 
tunnelling  the  mountains  and  bridging  the  rivers  and 
commingling  all  men  into  one  great  homogeneous 
whole.  Let  it  wipe  out  the  geographical,  dialectical 


THE   MILLENNIUM.  267 

peculiarities,  and  enable  all  the  inhabitants  of  the 
earth  to  communicate  with  each  other  in  one  tongue. 
Supplement  this  with  electricity,  and  the  whole  planet 
will  be  as  a  brain,  its  cerebral  gray-matter  on  its  sur 
face  ;  a  mass  that  will  think,  tied  together  by  universal 
threads  of  fire;  while  the  globe  will  be  held  in  the 
hand  of  God  for  the  delight  of  his  swarming  angels; 
for  thought  is  as  veritable  a  reality  in  nature  as 
light  or  heat — yea,  more. 

Lord!  what  a  glory  it  will  be,  in  the  fullness  of 
time,  for  him  who  can  speak  to  and  be  heard  by  such 
a  world !  Beside  it  all  things  in  the  past  will  be  petty, 
provincial,  insignificant. 

The  amount  of  arable  land  was  greatly  increased, 
for  these  and  similar  colonies,  by  using  the  discovery 
by  which,  in  the  western  American  States,  rain  has 
been  repeatedly  produced  at  will. 

The  air  lies  in  strata,  oftentimes  moving  in  differ 
ent  directions.  Very  often  a  stratum  or  current  of 
air,  heavily  charged  with  moisture,  passes  over  an 
arid  region  of  country,  moving  over  the  face  of 
another  stratum  of  very  dry  air  of  a  different  tem 
perature.  If  now  there  can  be  sent  up  from  the  earth 
a  column  of  some  light  and  volatile  gas,  it  penetrates, 
like  a  chimney,  through  the  different  strata,  com 
mingling  them  one  with  another,  and  bringing  down 
the  condensed  moisture  in  the  form  of  rain  on  the 
thirsty  soil. 

By  this  means,  government  taking  charge  of  the 
rain-making,  we  were  able  to  extend  our  colonies  into 


268  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

regions  heretofore  considered  unfit  for  human  habita 
tion.  In  fact,  by  this  tremendous  discovery,  it  is 
possible  to  turn  Sahara  itself  into  a  garden  of  beauty, 
and  vastly  enlarge  man's  dominion  over  the  earth. 
For  there  is  scarcely  any  part  of  the  earth's  surface, 
except  the  bare  rocks  of  the  mountain  chains,  and 
the  desolate  recesses  of  the  north,  that  will  not  sus 
tain  human  life,  if  given  warmth  and  moisture  enough. 
The  whole  surplus  population  of  Europe  was  thus 
soon  packed  away  in  great  colonies,  to  their  infinite 
happiness  and  contentment,  and  the  betterment  of  the 
condition  of  the  rest  of  the  population.  Universal 
opportunity  and  exact  justice  bred  universal  peace 
and  prosperity. 


CHAPTER  XLIII. 

CHRISTIANITY. 

AND  it  seemed  to  me  that  the  new  birth  of  man 
kind,  which  I  had  helped  to  bring  about,  needed  a  new 
birth  of  religion. 

For  what  is  man  if  not  a  creature  of  the  spiritual 
world,  temporarily  loaned  to  the  material  world  by 
its  great  Designer.  The  man  who  proclaims  himself 
a  brother  of  the  beast,  and  no  more,  abases  himself, 
not  humanity.  Who  is  so  blind  that  he  cannot  see 
the  tremendous  spirit  of  man  shining  through  the 
clay?  Can  clay  think,  reason,  worship?  No;  not 
in  a  million  years.  That  which  is  within  the  clay 
is  that  which  thinks,  reasons,  worships;  it  is  man; 
nothing  else  can  be. 

And  Christianity!  How  can  we  frame  a  reform 
that  shall  transcend  that  august  creed:  u  Love  God 
with  all  thy  heart  and  thy  neighbor  as  thyself"  ? 

"Love  God  with  all  thy  heart." 

The  spirit  of  man  clinging,  amid  the  perturbations 
of  the  flesh,  to  the  spirit  of  the  universe. 

"Love  thy  neighbor  as  thyself." 

Immortal  creed !  "Words  to  be  written  in  all  human 
constitutions,  as  they  lie  at  the  base  of  all  human 

269 


270  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

progress.     Civilization  can  never  rise  above  the  level 
of  Christianity. 

But  what  is  Christianity  now?  Warring  sects  and 
bitter  factions,  tearing  each  other  to  pieces: 

Fragments  of  one  golden  world, 

Yet  to  be  re-lighted  in  its  place  in  heaven. 

The  spirit  of  Divinity  lost  in  the  glosses  of  the 
ages.  Christ  forgotten  in  the  passions  of  a  disgrace 
ful  dog- fight  of  sects. 

Should  not  the  Millennium  begin  with  it  a  new  birth 
of  Christianity?  Should  not  the  creeds  find  some 
common  ground  whereon  they  could  work  for  the 
good  of  man  and  the  glory  of  God?  Was  it  possible 
to  revive  the  very  spirit,  thought,  and  purpose  of  the 
Founder,  so  long  obscured  and  buried  by  barbarian 
epochs? 

To  think  was  with  me  to  act. 

I  issued  at  once  this  appeal: 

To  ALL  CHRISTIAN  PEOPLE  ON  THE  PLANET  : — 

It  seemeth  me  to  be  unreasonable  and  blasphemous,  that 
while  there  is  so  much  good  to  do,  and  so  much  evil  to  re 
sist,  those  who  call  themselves  Christians  should  be  enemies 
to  each  other,  and  hence  divided  and  powerless.  Is  there  no 
means  whereby  mutual  charity  can  unite  them  to  do  Christ's 
work  on  earth,  in  peace  and  harmony?  Is  their  hatred  of 
each  other  greater  than  their  opposition  to  evil?  If  so,  they 
are  not  Christians,  but  children  of  the  devil,  sons  of  Belial. 

Law  can  prevent  crime  and  insure  justice,  but  it  has  its 
limitations.  It  deals  not  with  thoughts,  but  acts.  It  can 
regulate  the  opening  and  shutting  of  the  doors  of  the  temple 
of  the  soul,  but  it  cannot  enter  in  and  purify  the  polluted 
chambers.  Only  that  which  connects  man  with  the  vast  spirit- 


CHRISTIANITY.  271 

ual  brotherhood  around  him  can  do  that  mighty  work.  No 
reform  of  legislation  is  complete  which  is  based  on  a  beast- 
world,  without  conscience.  Besides  a  fair  division  of  the 
rights  and  goods  of  the  world  there  must  be  a  something 
Taster  and  profounder — man's  love  for  his  fellow — not 
merely  a  willingness  to  give  him  a  fair  show  and  a  fair  di 
vide,  but  an  affection  for  him,  reaching  from  heart  to  heart. 
Love  is  the  stamp  which  God  sets  on  his  work.  Love  is 
nature's  testimony  to  the  existence  of  God  ;  for  in  itself  there 
is  no  reason  why  selfish  brutality  should  love  anything.  Love 
is  a  winged  thing,  that  comes  out  of  and  soars  above  and, 
with  the  brightness  of  its  pinions,  glorifies  the  base  animal 
necessities  of  the  clay-wrought  creature  man. 

There  can  be  no  permanent  governmental  reform  which  is 
not  built  upon  the  grand  maxim  :  "  Love  God  with  all  thy 
heart  and  thy  neighbor  as  thyself. "  There  must  be  first  good 
ness  before  there  can  be  greatness.  If  the  people  are  evil  the 
laws  cannot  be  good.  The  wickedness  of  a  generation  will 
overcome  the  justice  of  the  statutes. 

With  a  purpose,  therefore,  that  the  heart  and  brain  of  man 
shall  advance  together,  I  request  that  each  religious,  Chris 
tian  denomination,  of  each  nation  in  the  world,  shall  select 
delegates,  in  such  manner  as  may  seem  to  it  fit  and  best, 
equally  divided  between  clerics  and  laymen,  upon  the  basis 
of  one  delegate  for  every  hundred  thousand  of  membership, 
to  meet  on  Christinas  Day  next,  at  the  city  of  Washington, 
in  the  United  States  of  America,  there  to  take  counsel  to 
gether  for  the  following  purposes  : 

I.  For  the  promotion  of  a  charitable  Christian  spirit  among 
all  the  denominations,  overlooking  whatever  may  have  been 
evil  in  the  record  of  each  other,  as  due  to  the  imperfections 
of  man,  and  as  not  being  an  essential  part  of  the  spirit  of 
true  religion. 

II.  To  seek  out  some  common  basis  of  belief ;  agreeing  to 
agree  where  they  can,  even  though  they  differ  where   they 
must. 

III.  In  this  way  to  reestablish  Christianity  as  a  practical 
whole,  relegating  dogmatic  differences  to  the  consideration 
of  each  separate  denomination. 


272  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

IV.  To  unite  the  whole  force  of  all  who    believe  in  Christ 
in  an  effort  to  fight  evil,  repress  injustice,  dispense  charity, 
increase  intelligence,  and  promote  the  happiness,  prosperity, 
and  goodness  of  mankind. 

V.  To  establish  in  every  province  and  parish  of  the  Chris 
tian  world  a  brotherhood  devoted  to  these  great  ends,  and 
who  shall  also  labor  to  maintain  the  governmental  reforms 
which  have  already  resulted  in  such  incalculable   benefits  to 
the  world. 

And    upon    this    undertaking    I    invoke    the    blessing    of 
Almighty  God  and  the  approval  of  all  good  men. 

EPHRAIM  BENEZET. 

The  idea  spread  like  wildfire.  The  plan  of  reunit 
ing  all  Christians,  and  placing  Christ  above  creed, 
and  works  above  dogma,  appealed  to  every  breast. 
The  vision  of  a  consolidated  Christianity,  laboring 
everywhere  for  the  good  of  the  human  race,  thrilled 
a  million  souls.  Many  earnest  and  faithful  clergymen 
had  long  felt  that  the  churches  had  fallen  behind  in 
the  race  of  reform,  and  were  losing  their  grip  on  the 
hearts  of  men;  they  perceived  that  sin  was  largely 
the  result  of  human  injustice,  selfishness,  and  the 
inequalities  produced  by,  or  not  prevented  by  law; 
that  poverty  bred  microbes  of  the  soul  as  well  as  of 
the  body;  that  misgovernment  drove  'more  swarming 
souls  into  hell  than  all  the  weaknesses  and  vanities 
of  the  flesh;  and  that  the  wrongs  done  by  man  to  him 
self  were  venial,  compared  with  those  which  he  prac 
tised  upon  his  brother. 

All  over  the  earth  men  began  to  seek  out  the  points 
upon  which  the  several  creeds  agreed,  and  to  forget 
those  wherein  they  differed.  And  essays  and  books 


CHRISTIANITY.  273 

were  written  to  palliate  and  excuse  the  dark  passages 
in  each  other's  history.  And  a  beautiful  spirit  of 
charity  and  toleration  spread  over  the  world,  associated 
with  a  firm  adherence,  nevertheless,  to  that  which 
each  one  thought  right.  And  the  word  Christian 
had  a  new  and  broader  significance  than  it  ever 
possessed  before;  and  there  was  a  sense  of  brotherhood 
between  all  who  bore  the  name,  and  Christ  walked 
anew  in  the  hearts  of  the  children  of  men. 

And  so  men  prepared  themselves  for  the  thousand 
years  of  peace  and  love  and  justice  foretold  by  the 
seers  and  prophets  of  old. 
18 


CHAPTEK  XLIV. 

THE   UNIVERSAL   REPUBLIC. 

BUT  still,  in  the  midst  of  all  these  happy  surround 
ings,  one  thing  troubled  me. 

It  was  the  fear  that  sooner  or  later  the  nations 
would  differ  and  quarrel,  and  as  there  was  no  tribunal 
to  which  all  would  submit,  wars  must  follow,  and 
once  the  old  sore  of  the  world  was  opened  who  could 
tell  when  it  would  close?  There  were  the  differences 
which  might  arise  between  countries  over  boundary 
lines;  and  the  clash  of  contending  commercial  inter 
ests,  and  internal  rebellions;  and  the  ambitions  of  bad 
and  able  men;  and  the  natural  wickedness  and  mean 
ness  of  the  human  animal,  with  all  its  inherited  ape 
like  traits;  and  there  too,  above  all,  was  the  spirit  of 
evil,  which  seems  to  be  woven  into  all  the  warp  and 
woof  of  the  universe. 

How  could  we  make  peace  certain  and  perpetual? 

That  was  the  question. 

At  length,  after  many  cogitations,  I  hit  upon  this 
plan. 

There  were  the  Azore  Islands.  They  had  been  the 
mountain  peaks  of  the  drowned  "Atlantis,"  whose 
history  was  told  by  the  Greek  priests  to  Solon,  and 

274 


THE   UNIVERSAL   REPUBLIC.  275 

recorded  for  posterity  by  Plato ;  the  great  world  that 
lies  in  the  background  of  human  history;  the  mighty 
empire  said  to  have  been  drowned  by  God  for  its 
sins. 

These  islands  are  beautiful,  with  a  paradisiacal 
climate;  a  garden  of  delights  —  the  Hesperides. 
Where  could  the  capital  of  the  world  be  better  located 
than  on  one  of  these  charming  isles,  with  the  drowned 
empire  beneath  the  waves  at  its  feet,  a  perpetual 
reminder  of  the  wickedness  of  man  and  the  justice 
of  God? 

And  so  I  secured  from  the  little  republic  of  Por 
tugal,  by  purchase,  the  island  of  St.  Michael,  the 
largest  of  the  group,  and  situated  about  eight  hun 
dred  miles  west  of  the  coast  of  Spain. 

And  then  I  issued  to  every  republic  in  the  world, 
in  Europe,  Asia,  North  America,  South  America,  and 
Australia,  a  proposal  that  they  should  all  unite  and 
form  "The  Universal  Eepublic,"  whose  capital 
should  be  on  the  island  of  St.  Michael. 

This  should  be  a  government  of  limited  powers, 
ceded  to  it  by  the  component  republics,  for  the  pres 
ervation  of  the  peace  of  the  world. 

Under  its  constitution  there  should  be  a  President 
and  Cabinet,  and  a  Congress  of  several  hundred  mem 
bers,  one*for  each  million  of  inhabitants,  to  be  elected 
by  the  people  of  the  different  nations.  This  Congress 
should  be  the  ultimate  court  of  appeal  in  disputes  be 
tween  the  confederated  republics,  and  all  parties  were  to 
pledge  themselves  to  peacefully  accept  its  conclusions. 


276  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

"  The  Universal  Kepublic"  should  protect  each  na 
tion  in  its  established  rights,  boundaries,  etc. ;  it  should 
secure  to  each  a  republican  form  of  government;  it 
should  aid  in  the  suppression  of  internal  rebellions;  it 
should  maintain  a  small  army  and  navy,  with  power 
to  call  upon  its  constituent  powers  for  further  naval 
or  military  forces  when  necessary.  It  should  have 
the  further  right  to  communicate  with  the  congresses 
of  each  nation,  and  offer,  from  time  to  time,  such 
advice  as  it  saw  fit,  upon  matters  essential  to  the  wel 
fare  of  the  people;  but  with  no  power  to  otherwise 
interfere  in  the  domestic  affairs  of  a  country,  except 
where  a  nation  refused  to  submit  to  its  decrees,  under 
appeal,  in  contests  with  another  republic. 

The  advantages  of  such  a  system  were  to  substitute 
arbitration  for  war,  and  to  insure  unbroken  peace 
for  many  generations,  if  not  forever.  If  one  country 
became  arrogant  and  oppressive,  the  power  of  the 
whole  confederation  could  be  brought  to  bear  to  crush 
it.  The  members  of  the  Congress  were  to  hold  their 
seats  for  ten  years,  and  to  be  paid  large  salaries.  It 
was  the  intention  to  make  these  places  the  highest  and 
noblest  in  the  gift  of  the  people.  The  President  was 
to  be  elected  by  the  direct  vote  of  all  the  people  of  all 
the  republics,  and  to  hold  his  office  for  six  years. 
As  disputes  between  nations  would  probably  occur 
but  seldom,  a  chief  function  of  the  new  government 
would  be  to  observe  wherein  any  nation,  from  any 
cause,  fell  below  the  true  standard  of  a  free  people 
in  point  of  education,  virtue,  enterprise,  industry  or 


THE   UNIVERSAL  REPUBLIC.  277 

otherwise,  and  by  bringing  to  bear  upon  it  an  en 
lightened  public  opinion,  compel  such  government 
to  keep  pace  with  the  general  march  of  progress. 
"  The  Universal  Eepublic"  would  thus  be  a  monitor 
and  adviser  for  all,  and  the  poorest  people,  in  the 
most  remote  regions,  would  feel  the  influence  of  its 
beneficent  prescience. 

It  seemed  to  me  that,  with  such  a  system,  peace, 
order,  and  the  highest  civilization  would  endure  on 
earth  until  some  cosmical  catastrophe  wiped  the  hu 
man  family  off  the  planet,  in  another  "Ragnarok." 


CHAPTER  XLY. 

WE    PEEPARE    TO    GO    BACK    TO    AMERICA. 

SOPHIE  was  delighted  when  I  told  her  we  were  about 
to  return  to  the  United  States.  I  said  to  her  that 
I  must  present  to  the  great  American  Republic  two 
schemes.  First  I  must  persuade  the  people  to  vote 
to  enter  "The  Universal  Republic;"  and  secondly,  I 
must  get  them  to  assent  to  another  proposition,  which 
I  had  long  cherished,  to  wit,  an  international  agree 
ment,  among  all  the  civilized  countries,  for  the  es 
tablishment  of  a  universal  paper  money,  to  be  is 
sued  in  a  certain  fixed  ratio  to  population  by  each 
nation,  and  to  be  legal-tender  in  every  nation  on 
earth.  I  argued  that  a  currency  of  this  kind,  circu 
lating  everywhere,  with  all  the  property  of  the  world 
pledged  to  make  it  good,  and  the  fiat  of  all  the  na 
tions  behind  it,  would  supersede  all  forms  of  metallic 
money,  and  would  increase  in  amount  with  the  in 
crease  of  population;  and  thus  put  an  end  forever 
to  all  financial  panics  and  convulsions,  and  be  the 
greatest  boon  which  statesmanship  could  confer  on 
the  commercial  world. 

Each  nation,  under  existing  conditions,  possessed 
an  admirable  currency  within  its  own  borders,  but 

278 


WE   PREPARE   TO   GO   BACK   TO   AMERICA.      279 

the  moment  it  reached  the  boundary  line  its  power 
was  crippled.  Hence  men  clung  to  a  "precious" 
metal,  which,  as  a  commodity,  could  be  exchanged 
from  nation  to  nation,  like  wheat  or  cotton.  But  if 
France,  Germany,  Italy,  Brazil,  Canada,  the  United 
States,  and  all  the  rest,  agreed  to  give  to  English 
paper  money  (provided  a  certain  amount  per  capita 
was  not  exceeded),  the  same  validity  they  gave  to 
their  own  money;  and  if  England  agreed  to  treat  the 
other  nations  the  same  way;  and  if  the  same  system 
was  applied  to  every  republic  in  the  world,  then  the 
money-changers  could  no  longer  stand  at  the  gateways 
of  the  nations  and  compel  all  men  to  bow  down  and 
worship  their  yellow  god,  and  thus  chain  the  industry 
of  the  world  to  his  Juggernaut  car.  And,  as  I  argued, 
such  an  international  treaty  could  provide  a  central 
commission  that  would  stamp  the  paper  money,  as 
issued,  and  see  that  no  nation  exceeded  the  quota  to 
which  it  was  entitled. 

But  all  these  things  I  must  talk  over  with  our  in 
telligent  American  people,  and  meet  the  objections 
which  ten  thousand  shrewd  minds  would  advance: 
for  the  Yankees — glory  be  to  God! — take  nothing  for 
granted,  and  they  are  no  hero-worshippers.  [I  use 
the  word  "Yankee"  in  its  continental  sense.]  They 
must  have  a  reason  for  everything.  And  why  not: 

Sure,  He,  who  made  us  with  such  large  discourse, 
Looking  before  and  after,  gave  us  not 
That  capability  and  godlike  reason 
To  rust  in  us  unused. 


280  THE    GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

The  man  who  will  not  think  when  he  can  doesn't 
deserve  to  live. 

But  before  I  left  Europe  I  restored  Palestine  to 
the  Jews;  adding  the  ancient  provinces  of  their  old- 
time  kinsmen,  the  Phoenicians,  including  the  aban 
doned  sites  of  Tyre  and  Sidon. 

It  seemed  to  me  that  this  great  race,  the  Israelites, 
from  whom  we  had  derived  our  religion  and  so  much 
of  our  literature,  should  have  some  share  in  the 
awakening  of  the  world.  They  are  a  trading,  not  an 
agricultural,  people;  and  so  I  told  them  to  plant  them 
selves  in  the  ancient  seats  of  commerce,  at  the  head 
of  the  Mediterranean,  between  India,  China,  and 
Australia  on  the  one  hand,  and  Europe  and  America 
on  the  other,  with  the  Mediterranean  Sea  for  a  har 
bor  and  the  Suez  Canal  for  a  gateway,  and  revive  the 
ancient  glories  of  their  people.  I  gave  orders  that 
all  Jewish  emigrants  to  the  Holy  Land  should  be 
carried  free,  with  their  effects,  over  the  government 
railroads;  that  the  land  should  be  divided  among 
them;  houses  built;  railroads  and  ships  constructed; 
a  national  convention  held  at  Jerusalem,  and  financial 
help  extended  to  make  them  at  once  a  great  and  pros 
perous  people.  And  out  from  all  the  lands  of  ha 
tred  and  persecution  the  poor  afflicted  Hebrews,  with 
their  wives  and  little  ones,  poured  in  a  steady  stream 
into  the  old  lands  of  their  race;  wealthy  Israelites 
helped  them,  and  natural  leaders  sprang  up  among 
them;  and  it  will  be  but  a  little  time  until  the  Jews, 
too,  shall  have  a  nation  and  a  flag,  illustrious  and 


WE   PREPARE   TO   GO  BACK  TO   AMERICA.       281 

honored  in  the  world;  while  the  smoke  of  their 
steamers  shall  ascend  from  every  sea  and  every  har 
bor  on  the  globe.  And  their  delegates  shall  hold 
high  seats,  too,  in  the  Congress  of  "The  Universal 
Republic,"  respected  as  representatives  of  the  race 
which  preserved  the  worship  of  one  true  God  in  the 
midst  of  the  darkness  and  foulness  of  ages  of  bar 
barism. 


CHAPTER  XLVI. 

WE    VISIT    ENGLAND    AND    IRELAND. 

OUR  journey  was  one  continued  ovation ;  whole  na 
tions  turned  out  to  honor  us,  especially  Sophie,  whcr 
had  won  all  hearts. 

Through  Germany  and  France  we  passed.  The 
populace  unhitched  the  horses  at  every  town,  and 
drew  our  carriage;  and  the  streets  were  one  mass  of 
huzzaing,  excited  people;  the  air  white  with  waving 
handkerchiefs. 

We  crossed  over  into  England  and  the  same  scenes 
followed. 

Everywhere  the  same  story  was  told  us  of  un 
bounded  prosperity.  Industry,  relieved  of  its  burdens, 
had  bounded  forward  with  a  giant's  strength.  Pau 
perism  had  disappeared;  joy  and  plenty  shone  in 
every  face;  the  whole  land  laughed. 

London  was  a  sight  to  see.  Never  before  had  it 
known  such  growth  and  prosperity.  The  vast  sullen, 
chalky-faced  hordes  of  the  underfed  unemployed,  who 
used  to  block  up  the  streets,  were  gone;  they  were 
busy  in  shops  and  factories,  or  out  in  pleasant  little 
homes  on  thousands  of  farms,  consumers  of  the  pro 
ductions  of  their  brethren.  The  mere  appreciation 

282 


WE  VISIT   ENGLAND   AND    IRELAND.  283 

in  the  values  of  all  forms  of  property,  by  the  de 
crease  in  the  purchasing-power  of  money,  due  to  its 
greater  abundance,  had  made  millions  prosperous  or 
rich,  and  had  lifted  up  the  very  mendicants,  by  mak 
ing  room  for  them  in  the  ranks  above  them.  Even 
the  bankers  were  growing  richer  by  the  vast  increase 
in  all  sorts  of  industrial  enterprises,  and  by  the  greater 
activities  of  commerce.  The  ancient  bugaboo  that 
man  liberated  was  more  dangerous  than  man  enslaved, 
had  been  exploded.  Even  the  timorous  discovered, 
to  their  astonishment,  that  the  most  peaceful  creature 
on  earth  is  a  human  being  with  his  belly  full ;  and 
that  men  take  to  carrying  dynamite  in  their  pockets 
when  they  can  get  nothing  else  to  put  in  them. 
Absolute  justice,  it  was  demonstrated,  was  society's 
best  constable  and  soldier.  Men  revolt  against  evil, 
not  against  favorable  conditions. 

And  the  country !  What  a  sight  it  was !  Fields, 
gardens,  houses  everywhere;  every  spadeful  of  earth 
cultivated;  the  land  alive  with  people;  hopeful  peo 
ple,  joyous  people,  people  thanking  God  and  loving 
their  fellows. 

And  the  new  English  Parliament  was  in  session; 
it  was. only  one  house,  for  the  people  did  not  believe  in 
placing  clogs  on  their  own  action.  They  gave  us  a 
grand  reception.  What  a  fine  array  of  solid  heads 
and  serious  faces;  mechanics,  farmers,  business  men; 
every  man  thoughtful,  reasonable,  and  earnest;  a  mag 
nificent,  self-governing  race. 

And  so  we  passed  over  to  Dublin.     The  ancient 


284  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

city  put  on  its  holiday  clothes  to  greet  us;  the  green 
flag  was  everywhere,  and  the  impassioned  people  were 
ready  to  jump  out  of  their  skins  with  enthusiasm. 

And  then,  by  the  new  railway,  we  passed  on  to 
Tara,  through  continuous  fields  and  gardens  and 
swarming  people;  a  beautiful  land,  greatly  blessed  of 
God,  but  long  afflicted  by  man ;  every  acre  fertilized  by 
the  blood  of  its  unhappy  inhabitants;  but  now  gay 
as  a  fair,  and  forgetting  its  dreadful  past  in  its  new 
joys  and  hopes;  a  light-hearted,  generous,  magnani 
mous  race;  deeply  touched  by  kindness,  but  meeting 
oppression  with  a  courage  and  persistence  which  a 
thousand  years  had  not  been  able  to  overcome. 

The  whole  land  dropped  its  pursuits  and  followed 
us  to  Tara.  And  what  a  city  had  •  arisen  in  a  few 
months  on  the  old  earth-heaps!  Great  numbers  of 
Irishmen  had  come  back  from  America,  bringing 
wealth  with  them,  to  help  build  up  their  native  land 
with  transatlantic  energy. 

The  whole  people  seemed  to  have  assembled  at 
Tara  to  greet  us;  a  vast  concourse  like  that  which 
in  the  ancient  days  gathered  around  the  high-king. 

The  great  hall  was  built  after  the  antique  fashion; 
it  was  ornamented  with  the  horns  of  deer,  and  the 
prodigous  antlers  of  the  extinct  gigantic  elk.  Upon 
the  platform  was  the  harp  of  Brian  Boroimhe,  brought 
from  the  Eoyal  Irish  Academy,  and  placed  under  a 
glass  case.  On  the  walls  were  the  portraits  of  hun 
dreds  of  men  famous  in  Irish  history,  from  St.  Pat 
rick  to  the  present  day.  On  a  raised  dais  on  one 


WE   VISIT  ENGLAND   AND    IRELAND.  285 

side  were  harpers  and  bagpipers,  clad  in  the  ancient 
costumes,  and  discoursing  the  quaint  music  of  the 
past. 

The  scene  as  Sophie  and  I  walked  up  the  main  hall 
was  one  never  to  be  forgotten.  The  Congress  was  in 
session,  but  every  man  rose  and  cheered  wildly. 
Cries  of  "Speech!  speech!"  rang  on  all  sides  of  the 
densely  packed  chamber.  I  could  not  resist  the  call. 
I  said: 

"  I  am  glad  that  the  march  of  America's  greatness 
has  given  liberty,  after  so  many  ages  of  injustice,  to 
the  most  picturesque  and  romantic  nationality  in  the 
world.  You  have  preserved  the  very  spirit  of  an 
tiquity  in  the  midst  of  all  the  commonplace  bustle 
of  modern  life.  But  do  not  permit  the  element  of  con 
servatism,  so  strong  in  the  race,  to  drag  your  new 
nation  back  into  the  thirteenth  century.  You  must 
advance  into  the  twentieth  century,  emulous  rivals 
of  all  that  is  best  and  greatest  in  the  age  in  which  we 
live.  The  past  has  its  honors,  but  the  present  has 
its  duties.  God  made  them  both,  and  the  present  will 
be  hereafter  the  past.  No  era  in  the  world's  history 
can  approach  our  own  in  grandeur  or  importance. 
Ireland,  the  most  composite  nation  of  Europe,  stocked 
from  the  best  bloods  of  all  races,  since  the  time  of  the 
Atlanteans  and  the  Phoenicians,  filled  with  a  fire  that 
seems  to  come  out  of  the  very  soil,  must  rise  to  the 
level  of  her  great  opportunities;  and,  by  the  thorough 
education  and  culture  of  all  her  people,  present  to  the 
world  the  best  intellects  which  can  possibly  arise  out 


286  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

of  her  great  stock.  The  nations  have  no  nobler  duty 
than  this,  for  there  is  nothing  higher  on  earth  than  the 
highest  manifestations  of  the  human  mind.  Let  Ire 
land  enter  upon  the  tremendous  future  that  awaits 
the  world,  with  the  solemn  determination  that  Irish 
men  shall  be  inferior,  in  brain  and  character,  to  no 
people  on  earth." 

The  applause  that  followed  this  short  speech  was 
long-continued  and  deafening.  At  its  close  some  one 
cried,  "The  Lady  President!"  and  Sophie  was  forced, 
by  thunderous  cries,  to  come  forward  and  speak.  I 
can  see,  to  this  sad  hour,  the  tall,  lithe,  emphatic, 
resolute  figure,  with  the  quick,  instantaneous  gestures, 
which  added  fire  to  the  bright  black  eyes  and  strength 
to  the  incisive  words.  She  said: 

"Irishmen!  I  am  glad  to  see  you  free  and  happy. 
May  your  wisdom,  foresight  and  self-control  keep 
you  so  forever.  Passion  is  a  great  force  in  battle; 
but,  in  time  of  peace,  we  most  need  calm,  discriminat 
ing  reason.  [Cheers.]  The  man  who  tries  to  excite 
you  is  not  your  friend.  [Sensation.]  Give  up  all 
old-time  hates  and  love  one  another.  I  am  glad  to  see 
Catholics  and  Protestants,  the  stern-faced  northerner 
and  the  bright-faced  southerner,  Goth  and  Celt,  all 
seated  peacefully  here,  side  by  side,  trying  to  make 
Ireland  great  and  happy.  [Immense  applause.] 

"  Irishmen !  Don't  depress  your  women.  [Cheers.] 
The  barbarous  races  made  women  slaves;  and  some 
thing  of  the  barbarian  instinct  survives  in  all  civilized 
peoples.  Eemember  that  your  men  cannot  be  greater 


WE  VISIT   ENGLAND   AND   IRELAND.  287 

in  soul  than  their  mothers.  [Applause.]  Don't  let 
sex  be  a  disqualification,  but  give  women  a  fair 
chance  in  every  avenue  of  life.  Macaulay  called  the 
Irish  'the  Italians  of  the  North  of  Europe,'  and  it 
was  a  profound  observation.  You  have  the  genius 
as  well  as  the  ethnical  affinities  of  that  plastic  and 
marvellous  race,  which  once  ruled  the  world,  and 
produced  the  greatest  men  of  antiquity. 

"Irishmen!  Remember  this — that  the  man  among 
you  that  permits  his  child  to  grow  up  in  ignorance 
murders  him!  [Cheers.]  Yes;  he  murders  his  soul, 
his  mind,  his  opportunities,  his  happiness — his  whole 
future.  Look  to  it  that  you  do  not  have  to  answer 
to  God  for  that  great  crime.  [Immense  applause.] 

"Farewell,  and  may  God  bless  you." 

The  assemblage  went  wild ;  for  Sophie,  as  I  have 
remarked  more  than  once,  was  always  more  popular 
than  I.  She  seemed  to  have  a  way  of  getting  right 
into  the  hearts  of  people.  Is  there  another  sense  by 
which  we  are  impressed  with  each  other,  apart  from 
the  slow  operations  of  reason,  sight,  and  hearing? 
Does  soul  talk  to  soul  through  flesh  and  bones;  spirit 
reaching  into  the  domicile  of  spirit;  and  the  ghosts 
within  us  standing  naked  before  each  other?  It  may 
be. 

Alas,  as  I  draw  nearer  to  the  end  of  my  story, 
I  linger  lovingly  upon  everything  which  concerns 
Sophie.  I  seem  to  see  that  bright  vision  forever 
before  my  eyes.  It  lives  and  breathes  in  the  temple 
of  my  unhappy  and  distraught  soul,  a  glorious  yet 


288  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

dreadful  memory.  Poor — poor — dear — dear — So 
phie!  Why  should  such  thing  ever  be  and  yet  cease 
to  be?  0  God!  why  dost  Thou  give  to  take  away? 
And  yet  as  one  of  our  poets  sings: 

"Tis  better  to  have  loved  and  lost, 
Than  never  to  have  loved  at  all. 


CHAPTER  XLVII. 

AMERICA. 

NEVER  did  I  know  how  much  I  loved  America 
until  I  looked  again  upon  its  white  strands. 

And  what  a  conception  is  that  bronze  figure,  with 
the  uplifted  torch,  welcoming  the  world;  high,  high 
up  its  trains  its  arm,  as  if  it  would  reach  and  fire 
the  very  heavens. 

Behind  it  should  stand  another  figure;  the  peaceful, 
gentle,  mother-figure,  with  the  big,  overflowing,  drip 
ping  breasts,  with  which  to  feed  the  globe. 

Liberty  and  abundance!  The  tremendous  nation! 
What  shall  be  named  beside  thee  ?  A  continent  of  food- 
fields,  in  fused  with  the  spirit  of  a  merciful  God!  In 
thy  great  eyes  I  read  the  destiny  of  mankind;  thou 
masterpiece  of  God's  work  on  earth!  Is  there  any 
thing  like  unto  thee  among  all  the  stars?  Is  this  in 
deed  the  latest  and  perfectest  work  of  the  Almighty? 
Who  shall  say? 

Long  before  we  reached  New  York  the  harbor 
was  thick  with  boats,  skiffs,  steamers,  sailing  vessels, 
black  with  people  to  welcome  us  home;  and  music, 
hurrahs,  flags  and  banners  filled  the  air. 

But  why  dwell  upon  the  series  of  ovations?  How 
19  289 


290  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

little  do  all  such  honors  seem  to  me  now?  I  can  re 
member  dimly  the  mighty  Broadway,  lined  with 
humanity  from  end  to  end;  while,  amid  overwhelm 
ing  uproar,  a  thousand  zealous  hands  drew  the  chariot 
in  which  Sophie  sat  by  my  side,  forgetting  herself 
and  proud  solely  of  the  honors  paid  to  her  husband. 
A  true  woman,  who  lived  only  in  the  man  she  loved; 
magnificent  abnegation  of  the  greater  for  the  lesser; 
the  divinity  in  human  nature,  ever  sacrificing  itself 
on  the  Calvary  of  its  own  heart  for  another  and  a 
less  worthy. 

My  greatest  joy  was  in  witnessing  the  splendid 
•prosperity  of  the  people.  It  met  us  everywhere. 
There  seemed  to  be  no  limit  to  the  energy  and  triumph 
of  humanity.  There  were  no  poor;  every  one  was 
well  dressed;  none  looked  fatigued,  none  were  sullen; 
every  one  smiled,  all  were  happy. 

The  "  Brotherhood  of  Justice"  had  done  its  work 
well  while  Sophie  and  I  were  absent;  they  had  in 
creased  in  number,  so  that  the  principal  corporators 
now  numbered  over  one  hundred,  all  selected  for 
their  ability  and  love  for  mankind.  In  every  direc 
tion  their  work  had  penetrated.  They  had  greatly 
helped  the  cause  of  temperance,  until  the  liquor-drink 
ing  habit  had  almost  become  a  thing  of  the  past. 
Through  The  Anti-Monopolist  they  were  republish- 
ing  all  the  greatest  books  of  antiquity  and  of  modern 
times.  The  humblest  mechanic  thus  had  upon  his 
shelves,  in  the  bound  volumes  of  that  paper,  the  best 
works  of  Greek  and  Roman  authors,  as  well  as  of  all 


AMERICA.  291 

the  principal  writers  of  the  later  nations.  And  this 
was  not  only  true  of  literature,  history,  romance, 
but  of  all  the  recent  acquisitions  of  science;  the  know 
ledge  revealed  by  the  telescope  and  microscope  were 
brought  home  to  millions  of  readers;  and  thus  the 
whole  population  was  rising  to  a  mental  status  far 
above  the  most  favored  classes  of  a  half -century  ago. 
The  lay  members  of  the  Brotherhood,  male  and  female, 
had  now  reached  to  over  twenty  millions.  In  every 
state,  county,  and  township  there  were  organizations. 
State  assemblies  were  held  every  year  in  groves,  by 
lakes  or  rivers;  the  people  bringing  their  tents,  and 
living  as  cheaply  as  they  could  at  home.  In  these 
gatherings  everything  was  discussed  that  could  ad 
vantage  and  benefit  mankind;  that  was  the  sole  ob 
ject  of  all  effort.  Men  worshipped  God  by  helping 
their  fellows.  They  believed  with  Coleridge, 

He  prayeth  best  who  loveth  best 
All  things  both  great  and  small ; 

For  the  dear  God  who  loveth  us, 
He  made  and  loveth  all. 

In  every  village,  town  and  city  there  arose  great  la 
bor-temples,  and  a  myriad  of  lecturers  were  developed, 
who  taught  all  the  people  all  things  that  it  was  good 
for  them  to  know ;  and  nothing  that  would  make  men 
better  or  happier  was  too  great  or  too  small  to  be  dis 
cussed,  from  the  constitution  of  the  solar  system  to 
the  making  of  bread  or  the  broiling  of  a  beefsteak. 
And  a  splendid,  wise,  robust,  handsome,  learned, 


292  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

acute  race  was  springing  up;  a  kindly  and  generous 
race  withal,  and  one  whom  no  sophistry  could  deceive 
nor  falsehood  mislead;  beyond  comparison  the  most 
magnificent  breed  of  men  and  women  that  had  ever 
dwelt  on  the  planet.  And,  in  their  splendid  civiliza 
tion,  everything  had  its  true  place;  they  were  neither 
sensualists  nor  ascetics;  they  ignored  neither  love 
nor  duty;  they  enjoyed  their  earthly  life,  and  never 
forgot  the  spiritual  life  in  which  they  were  embedded; 
and  womanhood  had  its  rights  without  becoming 
masculine,  and  men  were  strong  without  being  brutal. 
And  all  the  people  were  banded  together  by  great 
associations.  If  one  fell  sick,  his  brethren  cared  for 
him;  if  he  died  his  family  were  helped  out  of  poverty 
by  an  insurance  bounty.  And  if  any  man  lacked 
strength  or  energy  and  tended  to  fall  down  into 
wretchedness  or  beggary,  there  were  societies  to  put 
the  hand  of  friendship  under  him,  and  make  life  easier, 
and  at  the  same  time  self-respecting.  And  a  strong 
sense  of  honor  and  dignity  and  duty  to  humanity 
spread  everywhere;  and  an  enlightened  public  opinion 
was  the  silent  tribunal  before  which  every  one  had  to 
stand  for  judgment;  for  men  could  not  be  happy 
without  the  approval  of  their  fellows.  And  it  be 
came  evident  that  a  few  generations  of  men,  thus  liv 
ing  and  acting,  would  vastly  improve  and  elevate 
posterity;  and  that  a  new  race  would  inhabit  a  new 
earth;  and  that  all  that  was  good  in  individuals  to-day 
was  but  a  type  and  figure  of  that  which  would  be 
universal  conditions  in  the  near  future. 


AMERICA.  293 

Oh!  It  was  a  delight  to  move  through  and  partici 
pate  in  such  a  world. 

And  so,  witnessing  all  these  tremendous  results, 
which  had  flowed  out  of  the  Golden  Bottle,  I  thanked 
the  "Pity  of  God,"  who  had  brought  it  to  me,  and 
the  inexpressible  Divinity  who,  from  beyond  the 
stars,  had  taken  pity  on  the  estate  of  man,  and  had 
sent  his  messenger  to  me,  in  the  days  of  my  despair  and 
wretchedness. 

And  so  Sophie  and  I  advanced,  in  one  continuous 
uproar  of  salutation  and  adulation,  from  state  to  state 
and  town  to  town,  until  we  reached  that  marvellous 
city  of.  Chicago — the  eighth  wonder  of  the  world, 
with  a  man's  age  and  the  wealth  and  power  of  an 
empire. 

All  day  long  we  rode,  or  were  drawn  by  the  ex 
cited  populace,  through  the  streets  of  Chicago,  swarm 
ing  with  rejoicing  multitudes.  At  night  we  had  a 
grand  reception  at  our  hotel,  and  all  that  was  brilliant 
and  eminent  in  the  great  city  poured  into  the  parlors 
to  pay  their  respects  to  us. 

At  last,  at  twelve  o'clock,  completely  tired  out, 
after  making  our  arrangements  to  proceed  by  special 
train  on  the  morrow  to  Kansas  City,  Sophie  and 
X  retired  for  the  night  and  were  soon  asleep. 


CHAPTER  XLVIII. 

THE     SOUND     OF    THE     HAMMER. 

IT  was  the  dim  dawn  of  day  when  I  awakened. 

Dreamingly  I  looked  up,  with  eyes  half  open,  and 
began  to  count  the  knots  in  the  rafters  over  my  head. 

It  seemed  very  natural  to  find  them  there,  for  I 
had  counted  them  a  thousand  times. 

Gradually  a  sense  of  inconsistency  broke  in  upon 
me.  The  rafters !  Why,  I  was  in  the  chamber  of  the 
Palmer  House!  There  were  no  rafters  visible  here. 

With  a  start  I  sat  bolt  upright. 

Was  I  dreaming? 

I  was  in  the  old  garret  at  home! 

How  did  I  come  there?  Had  I  forgotten  my 
journey  from  Chicago?  I  had  intended  to  visit  my 
former  home  and  see  my  people,  but  it  seems  to  me 
that  I  fell  asleep  last  night  in  Chicago.  I  rubbed 
my  eyes. 

I  put  my  hand  into  my  breast.  Sophie  had  made 
pockets  in  my  undershirts,  in  which  I  earned  my 
precious  charge,  the  Golden  Bottle.  It  was  not 
there ! 

I  got  out  of  bed. 

Where  was  Sophie? 

294 


THE  SOUND   OP   THE   HAMMER.  295 

I  would  dress  myself.  I  must  have  come  here 
yesterday,  and  through  some  freak  of  the  over- worked 
mind,  forgot  all  about  the  journey.  Yes;  that  was  it. 
And  mother  had  put  the  President  of  the  United 
States  in  his  old  garret,  for  a  loving  joke.  Queer 
that  I  could  not  recall  anything  of  it,  however. 

I  looked  for  my  broadcloth  suit.  There  was  noth 
ing  there  but  the  ragged  old  clothes  I  had  worn  before 
my  great  rise  in  life.  They  were  lying  in  a  heap  on 
the  bare  boards  of  the  uncarpeted  floor. 

But  the  Golden  Bottle?  Had  Sophie  taken  it? 
I  did  not  relish  such  jokes.  I  would  go  downstairs 
and  look  after  it.  It  was  dangerous  to  have  such  a 
treasure  passing  from  hand  to  hand.  I  had  taken  the 
utmost  care  of  it  for  years  and  never  before  had  it 
passed  out  of  my  possession.  I  felt  very  grave  and 
somewhat  indignant. 

I  drew  on  the  ragged  garments,  with  no  little  dis 
gust;  it  was  no  way  to  treat  a  man  in  my  position. 
Jokes  are  jokes,  but  there  should  be  reason  in  all 
things. 

Barefooted  and  bareheaded  I  passed  down  the  creak 
ing  stairs.  Strange;  nothing  seems  changed,  and  yet 
father  has  been  making  improvements.  He  was  too 
greedy  to  make  money.  These  stairs  should  .have 
been  repaired.  I  will  look  after  this. 

I  heard  some  one  hammering  on  the  outside  of  the 
house,  near  the  front  door,  apparently  driving  tacks. 

It  was  probably  father.  I  stepped  out.  There 
was  Bill  Dickinson,  that  I  used  to  know  as  a  hanger- 


296  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

on  about  the  court-house;  he  was  tacking  a  paper 
against  the  side  of  the  house. 

"Hello,  Ephe!"  he  cried  familiarly,  "just  up?" 

"What  are  you  doing  there?"  I  asked,  with  dig 
nity. 

"  Puttin'  up  a  notice  of  the  mortgage  foreclosure. 
Old  Spooner  thought  it  'ud  better  be  done  to  make 
sure." 

"  My  God!"  I  gasped.     "  What  does  it  all  mean?" 

Just  then  my  mother  appeared  in  the  doorway. 
She  looked  very  pale  and  haggard ;  she  had  been  cry 
ing — her  eyes  were  red;  and  her  poor  calico  dress  was 
torn,  the  colors  had  faded  out  of  it  years  ago.  She 
held  a  tin  coffee-pot  in  her  hand, 

"Come  in,  Ephe,"  she  said,  "you  look  wild." 

She  had  an  idea  I  was  about  to  assault  the  deputy 
sheriff. 

I  observed  that  the  house  was  unpainted;  there 
was  no  wind-mill — no  garden  fence.  Where  was 
father? 

I  followed  mother  into  the  house. 

"Mother,  mother,  what  does  it  all  mean?"  I 
cried. 

"Ephraim,  there  is  nothing  but  trouble.  It  is 
God's  will;  we  must  bear  it. " 

I  clutched  my  head  with  both  hands.  An  idea — 
a  terrible  idea — had  entered  my  mind. 

"Mother,"  I  said,  "tell  me  one  thing;  when  did  I 
see  you  last?" 

"My  dear  son,"  she  said,  putting  her  arms  round 


THE  SOUND   OF  THE   HAMMER.  297 

me  and  kissing  me,  "what  is  the  matter  with  you? 
You  look  very  strange;  I  hope  you  are  not  sick." 

"Mother,  tell  me,"  I  fairly  shrieked,  "when  did 
I  see  you  last?" 

"  See  me  last?"  she  replied  with  a  bewildered  look; 
"why,  last  night,  of  course." 

"0  my  God!"  I  cried,  "then  it  was  all  a 
dream  !  " 

I  fairly  staggered;  I  tore  my  hair  in  agony;  I 
glared  wildly  around  me. 

"Don't  worry,  my  son,"  said  my  poor,  frayed, 
poverty-stricken,  weeping  mother,  "don't  worry. 
Every  one  has  his  troubles.  All  the  neighbors  will 
have  to  go  the  same  way.  You  remember  the  Hether- 
ingtons  who  lived  on  the  next  farm.  You  remember 
Sophie." 

"Yes,  yes,"  I  cried  eagerly,  "what  of  Sophie?" 

"  Why,  the  tin-peddler  was  along  here  at  sun-up, 
and  he  told  me  that  Sophie  had  gone  to  the  bad,  in 
Kansas  City,  and  had  hanged  herself." 

I  whirled  around  as  if  I  had  been  struck  on  the 
head  with  an  axe,  and  fell  prostrate  on  the  floor. 


CHAPTER  XLIX. 

MY    LAST    VISITOR. 

FATHER,  as  I  learned  afterward,  came  in  from  the 
field;  mother  called  him,  and  he  and  mother  between 
them  carried  me  back  to  the  wretched  straw  bed  in 
the  garret,  and  laid  me  down  upon  it,  and  washed  my 
face  with  cold  water. 

"O  Sophie!  Sophie!"  were  the  first  words  I 
moaned  as  I  recovered  consciousness,  "splendid, 
heroic,  peerless  Sophie!" 

Father  and  mother  exchanged  glances. 

Mother  placed  her  hard  hand,  with  all  love  and 
tenderness,  on  my  burning  forehead,  and  murmured: 

"My  poor  boy!  my  poor  boy!  Bear  up  like  a 
man." 

"And  the  Golden  Bottle!"  I  cried,  clutching  at 
my  breast,  and  falling  back  helplessly. 

My  father,  his  face  seamed  with  lines  of  care, 
placed  his  arm  under  my  neck  and  kissed  me,  and 
mother  sobbed  and  cried,  "My  poor  boy!  my  poor 
boy!" 

"O  my  God!"  I  moaned. 

And  then  I  struggled  to  rise — father  holding  me 
down — and  shrieked: 

298 


MY  LAST   VISITOR.  299 

"There  is  no  God!  That  is  a  dream,  too.  If 
there  was  a  God  he  never  would  have  undone  my 
work!  O  Sophie!  Sophie!" 

Father  and  mother  drew  apart  from  me  and 
whispered.  I  could  hear  father  speak  the  word 
"doctor,"  but  mother  shook  her  gray  head  sadly, 
and  I  caught  the  words  "wouldn't  come  last  time — 
pay." 

"0  my  God!"  I  shrieked  again;  as  the  awful 
depths  of  our  inexpressible  poverty  contrasted  them 
selves  with  the  splendor  of  the  imaginations  which 
still  rose  in  panoramas  in  my  memory. 

Father  and  mother  were  both  crying.  Their  looks 
told  that  they  thought  I  had  lost  my  mind — perhaps 
I  had. 

And  then  one  noble  thought  rose  like  an  angel  in 
the  midst  of  my  miseries,  and  I  said  to  myself: 

"There  is  one  thing  that  is  not  a  dream — the  love 
of  these  dear,  tender  hearts,  who  forget  their  own  sor 
rows  in  my  afflictions.  That  at  least  is  godlike.  I 
must  not  add  new  terrors  to  their  distresses." 

And  so  I  spoke  quite  calmly. 

"Dearest  loves,"  I  said,  "do  not  worry  about  me. 
I  am  not  crazy.  I  have  had  a  tremendous  dream, 
and  it  is  hard  to  come  back  to  the  terrible  reality.  But 
I  shall  be  better  in  a  little  while.  Leave  me  to  rest 
and  think  it  over.  I  may  forget  my  sorrows  in 
sleep." 

Mother  wanted  to  get  me  some  breakfast,  but  I 
could  not  have  eaten  a  mouthful  for  the  world;  and 


300  THE   GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

so  kissing  me  they  withdrew,  first  drawing  down  the 
ragged  paper  curtain  over  the  garret  window,  in 
which  two  panes  of  glass  were  broken. 

When  I  heard  the  door  close  at  the  foot  of  the 
stairs,  I  sprang  from  the  bed  and  fell  on  my  knees 
and  lifted  up  my  long  arms,  with  the  worn  sleeves 
and  frayed  wristbands,  and  while  the  tears  rolled 
down  my  face,  I  prayed: 

"O  Omnipotent  Power,  whom  men  call  God! 
Above  all  doubt  and  incomprehensibilities  Thou  must 
be.  The  universe  could  not  be  if  Thou  art  not. 

"  O  Father  Supreme,  if  Thou  didst  not  make  this 
world  as  a  cruel  jest,  have  mercy  on  it. 

"  Thou  seest  its  pitiful  conditions!  Thou  seest  the 
just  impoverished  and  the  wicked  triumphant!  Thou 
seest  honesty  profitless  and  crime  profitable.  Good 
ness  grovels  in  the  mud,  while  evil  rolls  in  affluence. 

"  Across  the  ocean  Thou  seest  three  continents  groan 
ing  under  the  weight  of  kings,  courts,  aristocracies 
and  standing  armies;  and  on  this  side  another  conti 
nent  evolving  these  horrors  out  of  the  breast  of 
liberty.  Thou  seest  rotten  and  hollow  hearts  in  the 
high  places,  and  the  humble  overwhelmed  with  ignor 
ance,  superstition,  and  want.  The  lives  Thou  gavest 
to  men  are  wasted,  contending  against  adverse  condi 
tions;  and  millions  die  doubting  and  denying  Thee. 
The  minds  of  the  few  perceive  what  is  needed  to  be 
done,  but  they  are  chained  down  by  the  thoughtless 
ness  and  selfishness  of  the  multitude.  The  crust  is 
small  and  hard  in  the  mouth  of  the  toiler,  while  he 


MY  LAST  VISITOR.  301 

who  toils  not  has  a  hundred  times  more  than  he  can 
consume. 

"  From  the  inexpressible  distance  of  Thy  central 
throne,  O  Lord  God  Almighty,  look  down  with 
mercy  on  this  pitiful  world,  given  over  to  the  domi 
nation  of  ten  thousand  devils! 

"  Help  the  work  of  Thine  own  hands.  Let  the  good 
thoughts  that  come  from  Thee  be  not  dreams,  but 
deeds.  Lift  up  the  people,  O  Lord!  Wipe  out  in 
justice  in  all  the  world.  Let  Thy  kingdom  come  on 
earth  as  it  is  in  heaven.  Help  us,  O  Lord,  help  us! 
Let  our  prayers  rise  like  screams  of  pain,  and  rouse 
Thee  on  the  white  throne  of  the  central  universe.  Do 
not  make  us  and  forget  us,  0  Lord  God!" 

I  paused,  for  I  heard  a  footstep  behind  me. 

Now,  what  I  am  about  to  describe  is  something  so 
strange,  that  I  doubted  at  the  time  my  own  sanity. 
Indeed,  I  had  gone  through  so  much — the  troubles 
and  sorrows  growing  out  of  the  wretched  condition  of 
my  family;  the  prolonged  dream  which  had  carried 
me  through  years  of  joy  and  glory;  the  horrible 
shock  of  awaking  from  a  world  redeemed  to  a  world 
ruined;  the  sound  of  that  hammer,  tacking  up  the 
paper  which  was  to  sweep  us  from  our  home;  and, above 
all,  the  horrible  revulsion  from  the  image  of  Sophie, 
the  worshipped,  the  transcendent,  the  queen  of  the 
world,  to  the  poor  wretched  girl  dangling — 0  my 
God!  I  shudder  as  I  think  of  it!  All  these  things,  I 
say,  were  enough  to  unsettle  an  intellect  stronger  than 
mine,  for  my  whole  system  was  enfeebled  by  disease. 


302  THE    COLDEN    BOTTLE. 

The  mind  we  carry  about  with  us  is  an  unknown 
world;  no  man  can  fathom  its  depths  or  possibilities 
of  sound  or  unsound  action.  Indeed,  it  is  impossi 
ble  to  say  what  is  sanity  and  what  is  insanity.  I 
was  in  an  abnormal,  unhealthy  condition,  that  is 
certain;  and  the  brain  has  power  to  create,  within  it 
self,  as  I  had  found,  whole  worlds  of  vivid  phantas 
magorias. 

Hence,  when  I  looked  over  my  shoulder,  without 
rising  from  my  kneeling  posture,  I  saw,  walking  up 
and  down,  in  the  garret  behind  me,  the  oddest  figure 
I  had  ever  beheld.  It  was  that  of  an  elderly  gentle 
man,  arrayed  in  the  costume  of  the  seventeenth  cen 
tury, — knee-breeches,  cocked  hat,  gold  buckles  on 
shoes,  sword  by  side,  ruffled  shirt,  projecting,  stiff  col 
lar  and  all.  And  a  very  energetic,  snappy,  prompt, 
active  old  gentleman  he  seemed  to  be.  He  had  a  short 
riding-whip  in  his  hand,  which  every  now  and  then 
he  flicked  impatiently. 

I  rose  from  my  knees,  and  said,  in  a  surly  way, 
for  I  thought  he  was  some  wandering  circus  actor,  who 
had  found  the  doors  open  and  climbed  the  stairs: 

"Who  the  devil  are  you?" 

He  wheeled  around  and  faced  me,  and,  with  a  snap 
in  his  black  eyes,  and  a  snap  in  his  voice,  and  a  snap 
in  his  gesture,  and  a  snap  in  his  whip,  he  said: 

"Devil  yourself!  I  am  what  you  are — a  pinch  of 
life  in  the  dead  wilderness — a  fragment  of  the  uni 
versal  fire, — an  instrument  of  the  all-absorbing  fate." 

"What  do  you  want  here?" 


MY   LAST   VISITOR.  303 

"To  tell  you  what  a  fool  you  are." 

"Thank  you,"  I  said  with  something  of  my  old 
presidential  air,  for  I  still  believed  he  was  human; 
"thank  you,  but  do  you  think  you  have  any  right 
to  intrude  into  a  gentleman's  bed-chamber,  in  that 
outlandish  garb,  and  insult  him?" 

He  glanced  around  the  garret  with  a  grin,  and  I 
could  not  help  but  smile  myself,  at  the  idea  of  call 
ing  it  a  "gentleman's  bed-chamber." 

"Tut,  tut,"  he  said,  "don't  be  silly.  I  wa'nt  to 
talk  with  you.  It  is  two  hundred  years  since  I 
talked  with  a  fool;  and  it  reminds  me  of  old  times 
when  I  was  a  fool  myself,  and  all  the  rest  were  fools 
with  me." 

"Two  hundred  years!"  I  cried,  my  hair  beginning 
to  stir. 

"Certainly,"  he  replied,  "you  don't  suppose  I 
could  find  such  a  suit  of  clothes  as  this  in  your  beastly 
state  of  Kansas?  I  am  a  pictorial  reproduction,  on 
the  retina  of  a  human  intellect,  of  something  that  lived 
and  breathed  and  loved  and  sinned  and  died  two 
hundred  years  ago  in  bonny,  bosky  England.  Oh, 
the  occult  powers  of  nature!  You  couldn't  find  an 
identifiable  particle  of  this  body,  or  this  sword,  or 
this  suit  of  clothes,  with  all  your  microscopes,  in  all 
the  universe;  the  matter  that  made  these  ruffles  is 
now  a  part  of  the  nose  of  the  Duchess  Duras  in 
Paris,  and  that  which  was  this  doublet  now  goes  to 
make  up  the  hide  of  a  hyena,  who  at  this  moment  is 
prowling  after  a  caravan,  not  far  from  Damascus. 


304  THE    GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

And  yet,  here  am  I,  hat,  wig,  ruffles,  knee-breeches, 
buckles,  and  all,  and  immensely  tickled  to  be  back  on 
this  foolish,  silly  old  globe  again,  talking  my  native 
language  to  a  long-legged  boy  of  Yankee-land;  al 
though  he  does  flatten  out  our  broad,  rich,  guttural 
dialect  into  a  nose-pinched,  high-keyed,  catarrhal  mode 
of  speech  that  is  shocking.  O  Nature!  Nature!" 
continued  the  garrulous  old  gentleman,  "Nature  is 
full  of  marvels;  two  hundred  years  ago  this  toggery, 
which  I  am  parading  in,  impressed  itself  on  my  vital 
principle,  and  now  my  vital  principle  is  able  to  im 
press  it  on  yours ;  a  photograph  of  a  photograph ;  and  a 
thousand  years  from  now  you  may  convey  it,  per 
chance,  to  some  fellow  in  Mars.  Nothing  perishes 
that  has  ever  had  anything  to  do  with  a  living  spirit. 
The  other  day  an  old  Phoenician  pirate,  who  died  five 
thousand  years  ago,  daguerreotyped,  on  my  receptiv 
ity,  a  picture  of  the  sea-fight  in  which  he  was  killed, 
just  as  he  saw  it,  with  his  last  look.  It  took  place  at 
the  upper  end  of  the  Mediterranean.  Oh,  it  was  mar 
vellously  vivid!  I  could  see  the  brown-faced  wretches 
slashing  and  stabbing  each  other,  in  their  long  triremes ; 
clinching  and  going  overboard  into  the  stained  waters, 
glaring  into  each  other's  eyes  in  the  most  horrible 
manner.  Ugh!  it  was  awful.  There  isn't  any  other 
animal  so  desperately  fierce  and  wicked  as  man." 

"I  have  no  doubt  of  it,"  I  replied,  "and  at  another 
time  I  should  be  delighted  to  have  the  privilege  of 
listening  to  one  of  your  vast  experience,  but  I  am 


MY   LAST  VISITOR.  305 

plunged  in  unutterable  miseries;  and  one  whom   I 
loved " 

"Pish!"  he  said  contemptuously,  "don't  whimper. 
Sophie's  all  right.  That  tin-peddler  was  a  liar — par 
don  my  blunt  speech; — we  were  a  plain-spoken  people 
two  hundred  years  ago.  You  smell  sweeter  to-day, 
but  you  are  not  half  as  wholesome.  We  talked  the 
coarseness  we  didn't  act;  you  act  the  coarseness  you 
don't  talk.  Now,  as  I  said  the  other  day  to  So 
crates " 

I  rushed  toward  him. 

"For  God's  sake,  tell  me— 

An  indescribable  expression  of  terror  came  over 
the  face  of  my  visitor,  and  he  fell  upon  his  knees, 
clasped  his  hands  and  looked  upward,  with  a  wonder 
ful  awe  upon  every  feature. 

"Hush!"  he  whispered.  "Don't  name  the  Un- 
namable!" 

"But  if  you  are  a  spirit  you  must  be  near 

He  raised  his  hand  and,  with  a  look  of  pain  on  his 
face,  stopped  me. 

"If  this  earth,"  he  said  solemnly,  "was  moved 
one  hundred  millions  of  miles  nearer  the  Milky  Way, 
are  there  any  instruments  known  to  man  that  would 
mark  the  decrease?  No,  no;"  he  continued,  still 
on  his  knees,  "it  is  true  I  am  a  spirit,  but  the  world 
is  full  of  spirits,  cycles  upon  cycles  of  creators,  uni 
verse  enfolding  universe  of  activities  and  labors,  end 
less  arrays  of  angels  and  archangels,  cherubim  and 
20 


306  THE    GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

seraphim — but  beyond  all,  within  all,  is  THAT  which 
we  do  not  dare  to  name,  and  scarcely  dare  to  think 
on." 

He  rose  to  his  feet,  but  his  snappy,  pert  manner 
was  all  gone. 

"  Pardon  me,"  I  said, "  for  using  our  common  earthly 
blasphemy,  born  of  ignorance  and  thoughtlessness, 
but  you  spoke  of  one  who  is  very  dear  to  me.  You 
said " 

"Yes,"  he  interrupted  me,  smiling  again,  "Sophie 
isn't  dead,  and  she  didn't  go  to  the  bad.  She  is  a 
bright,  high-spirited,  energetic  girl.  She  is  working 
hard  to  support  the  body  she  is  now  in;  she  will 
make  her  way,  and  you  will  marry  her  some  day,  for 
she  has  a  warm  spot  in  her  heart  for  you." 

I  rushed  forward  and  seized  his  hand — there  was 
nothing  but  air  in  my  grasp.  He  smiled  merrily  and 
said : 

"Mental,  mental!  You  will  never  know  until 
you  'shuffle  off  this  mortal  coil,'  as  my  friend  Sir 
Francis  says,  how  much  of  all  the  phenomena  of  the 
world  is  mental  and  how  much  physical.  There  is 
no  light  where  there  are  no  eyes;  no  heat  or  cold 
where  there  is  no  sensation;  and,  to  quote  again  from 
Sir  Francis,  'nothing  is  but  thinking  makes  it  so.' 
Everything  that  seems  to  be  is  but  the  outcome  of  a 
great  Force"  (his  face  grew  solemn  again) — "phases 
of  His  thought.  He  falls  into  contemplation  and 
universes  rush  into  being.  He  smiles  and  the  fathom 
less  depths  of  space  glow  with  light.  The  worship 


MY   LAST   VISITOR.  307 

of  all  creatures  above  man  is  simply  thinking;  for  to 
think  is,  with  them,  to  adore." 

"But,"  I  said  sadly,  busy  with  my  earth-affairs  in 
the  midst  of  his  philosophy,  "I  can  never  marry 
Sophie — this  consumption  will " 

"  Pshaw!"  he  said,  with  his  first  brusqueness,  "con 
sumption!  You've  got  no  consumption — simply 
throat  trouble,  born  of  sitting  in  the  shade  and  sulk 
ing  and  slumping.  'Get  a  hump  on  yourself,'  as 
you  say  in  Kansas.  If  you  don't  the  microbes  will 
devour  you.  The  lazy  man  is  doomed.  Nature  has 
a  million  billion  little  devils  to  eat  him  up.  If  he 
won't  work  he  is  colonized  by  uncountable  quantities 
of  creatures  that  will  work,  and  work  him  off  the 
planet.  Nature  has  no  charity  for  sluggards.  It  is 
one,  great,  organized- energy;  and  no  spirit  has  any 
right  to  the  possession  of  a  particle  of  matter  unless 
he  keeps  it  fully  employed.  Hence  ten  men  rust  out 
where  one  man  wears  out.  Those  who  do  most  live 
longest.  Hence  the  saying  that  the  busiest  man  has 
always  most  time.  Hence " 

I  had  to  interrupt  him  or  he  would  have  run  on 
forever,  and  my  own  affairs  were  pressing  sorely  on 
me. 

"What  am  I  to  do?"  I  asked. 

"Do?"  he  replied,  "go  to  work." 

"What  at?"  I  inquired. 

"  Write  out  your  dream,"  he  replied. 

I  staggered  back. 

"But  men  will  laugh  at  anything  so  improbable." 


308  THE    GOLDEN   BOTTLE. 

"Not  a  bit  of  it,"  he  said.  "That  dream  is  an 
allegory.  The  Golden  Bottle  represents  the  power 
of  government  to  create  its  own  money.  With  that 
power  it  will  do  all  that  you  dreamed  the  Bottle  did. 
It  will  make  money  so  abundant  that  the  credit  sys 
tem  will  cease,  debts  will  disappear.  You  should 
have  heard  Aristotle  and  Sir  Isaac  Newton  laughing, 
the  other  day,  with  old  King  Poseidon,  of  Atlantis, 
over  the  supreme  folly  of  continuing  the  adoration  of 
the  sun  and  moon,  through  their  metals,  down  into 
a  Christian  civilization  of  a  high  order.  They  fairly 
held  their  sides  and  shrieked;  and  old  Poseidon  said 
that  men  were  nearly  as  incapable  of  new  ideas  as 
monkeys;  and  they  laughed  louder  than  ever;  and 
thereupon  Darwin  introduced  his  theory  of  evolution, 
and  they  all  grew  melancholy  and  the  conclave  broke 
up.  But  don't  you  see,"  my  visitor  continued,  "  that 
the  government  by  buying  or  constructing  one  rail 
road  line — it  owns  a  mortgage  on  one  or  two  already 
— could  put  down  rates  and  squeeze  all  the  billions 
of  water  out  of  railroad  stock,  and  leave  $300,000,000 
a  year  in  the  pockets  of  the  people.  Oh,  the  power 
of  government,  in  other  words  of  aggregate  human 
ity,  has  not  been  one-tenth  developed  yet;  and  pos 
terity  will  laugh  at  this  generation.  And  your  alle 
gory  is  true  in  another  respect.  Within  the  next 
twenty-five  years  America  will  have  to  lift  up  Europe, 
by  wiping  out  the  kings  and  aristocracies,  or  go  down 
to  ruin  under  the  feet  of  armed  mobs,  driven  to  des 
peration  by  wretchedness.  The  world  has  got  to  be — 


MY   LAST   VISITOR.  309 

wasn't  it  your  great  man,  Abraham  Lincoln,  used  the 
expression — 'all  free  or  all  slave. '  There  is  an  irre 
pressible  conflict  that  takes  in  the  planet.  You  see, 
the  government " 

Now  I  ought  to  have  been  intensely  interested  in  all 
this ;  while  I  was  President  I  would  have  been.  But 
poor  Ephe  Benezet,  in  rags,  was  a  different  man 
from  the  conqueror  of  Europe.  And  how  poverty 
ensmalls  a  man!  A  hungry  man  can  think  of  nothing 
but  food ;  a  poor  devil  who  is  down  can  do  nothing  but 
struggle  to  get  up.  Large  thoughts  belong  to  large 
places.  And  so,  while  this  wonderful  being  was  talk 
ing  of  Aristotle  and  Poseidon,  I  was  turning  over  in  my 
head  how  I  could  get  out  of  the  slough  of  misery  in 
which  I  found  myself;  and  at  length  I  interrupted 
him  to  ask  the  question. 

"Do?"  he  said,  with  a  snap,  displeased  at  being 
brought  down  from  great  governmental  questions  to 
so  small  a  thing  as  myself,  "  Do  ?  Why,  teach  school. 
And  then  get  to  be  a  professor.  A  very  ordinary 
school-teacher  will  make  a  first-class  professor. 
There  isn't  one  in  a  hundred  that  wouldn't  rather 
hang  himself  than  indulge  in  original  thought;  and 
nothing  passes  among  them  that  has  not  the  brand 
of  some  other  professor.  A  schoolmaster  is  a  teacher 
who  is  still  capable  of  learning;  a  professor  is  a 
schoolmaster  ossified.  Their  memories  are  magnifi 
cent — their  reasoning  faculties  nil." 

It  was  wonderful  how  he  rambled  off,  flicking  his 
whip,  snapping  his  eyes,  walking  up  and  down 


310  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

and  indulging  in  these  heterodox  and  extravagant 
ideas. 

"And  Sophie,  "I  said. 

"Yes,  Sophie;  fine  girl;"  he  replied,  "I  see  her 
everyday.  She  is  descended -from  an  English  lassie  I 
knew  two  hundred  years  ago — Lady  Arabella  Stanis- 
hurt — looks  like  her  too ;  same  eyes  and  way  of  carry 
ing  herself;  same  trick  of  the  shoulders — pass  for  her 
daughter.  Funny  world,  this.  Nothing  perishes. 
People  crop  out  two  hundred,  five  hundred  years 
after  they  die.  Men  resemble  ancestors  they  never 
heard  of.  I  saw  a  carter  the  other  day  in  London — 
lineal  descendant  of  King  Canute — had  his  very  nose 
— nostrils  looking  out  like  eyes,  straight  ahead  of  him. 
That  carter  never  heard  of  King  Canute.  And 
yet " 

"But,"  I  interjected,  "how  did  Sophie  come  to 
play  so  important  a  part  in  my  dream?" 

"All  allegory,"  he  replied;  "Sophie  represented 
the  woman  of  the  future:  educated,  intelligent,  heroic, 
affectionate,  refined;  a  million  miles  above  the  peas 
ant  woman  in  the  mud;  able  to  ride  the  savagest 
boor  into  obedience, — the  sublimation  of  heart  and 
brain  combined." 

"Now,  one  question  more;"  I  said,  "you  heard 
my  prayer " 

"Yes;  and  a  very  silly  prayer  it  was,"  he  inter 
rupted.  "  You  wanted  a  perfected  world !  What  would 
you  do  in  a  perfected  world?  What  would  there  be 
for  any  one  to  do — but  lie  on  your  backs  and  catch 


MY  LAST  VISITOR. 

peaches  in  your  mouths?  Don't  you  know  the  uni 
verse  is  nothing  but  ivork,  and  we  all  of  us — you  and 
I,  and  the  rest — have  no  place  in  it  but  as  workers. 
Look  back  and  see  how  mankind  has  advanced 
since  man  dwelt  under  a  rock,  and  dined  off  the  chap 
on  the  other  side  of  the  creek — cracking  his  head  with 
a  stone.  Hasn't  there  been  a  tremendous  amount  of 
work  done?  Do  you  think  the  fellows  who  did  all 
that  are  idle  now?  Not  a  bit  of  it,  they  are  working 
harder  than  ever.  And  don't  you  think  that  you  are 
expected  to  work  just  as  hard  as  they  did?  Can't 
you  see  that  every  wrong  that  exists  is  simply  an 
opportunity  for  genius  and  power  to  crush  it?  And 
do  you  suppose  that  there  is  no  one  looking  after  this 
big  universe?  Where  did  all  this  human  unrest 
come  from?  Who  stirred  up  all  these  countless 
leaders  in  every  rural  district,  and  every  shop  and 
mine,  to  forget  sin  and  selfishness  and  devote  them 
selves  to  the  good  of  humanity?  And  if  your  family 
has  been  driven  off  the  land  by  evil  conditions,  what 
is  the  remedy?  To  lie  down  and  die?  No;  to  get 
up  and  fight  to  the  utmost  limits  of  your  last  mor 
sel  of  power.  And  do  you  imagine,  you  clay  and 
lime  and  silex  chaps,  that  this  is  your  battle?  No, 
it  is  a  revolution  of  the  spirits.  Don't  you  know — or 
can't  you  conceive,  (it  seems  plainer  than  that  big 
nose  on  your  face) ,  that  this  is  not  a  barren  universe. 
It  does  not  consist  of  the  Un-named  at  one  extremity 
and  man  at  the  other,  with  only  vacuum  between. 
No;  every  inch  of  space  is  packed  with  spirit,  even 


312  THE  GOLDEN  BOTTLE. 

as  every  inch  of  matter  is  packed  with  life;  for  life 
is  only  spirit  with  its  clothes  on.  And,  behind  every 
man  who  labors  to  help  the  world,  there  are  a  thou 
sand  blessed  spirits;  and  behind  every  bad  man  there 
are " 

Here  he  grew  suddenly  pale  and  stopped  short,  as 
if  he  had  said  too  much. 

"Tell  me  something  about  the  hereafter,"  I  said. 

"There  is  no  hereafter,"  he  replied  gruffly,  "it  is 
one  eternal  is.  We  create,  you  create,  everything 
creates.  The  angels  have  made  nothing  more  wonder 
ful  than  some  of  the  inventions  of  man.  The  birth  of 
a  flower  is  nothing  to  the  evolution  of  the  human  mind 
under  education.  Compare  the  mechanism  of  one  of 
your  machines  with  the  mechanism  of  an  animal. 
What  animal  is  more  complicated  or  more  perfect  than 
one  of  your  lightning  printing-presses?  And  is  not 
that  press  more  necessary  for  the  advancement  of  the 
world  than  a  giraffe,  with  his  long  neck  and  inconse 
quential  head — fitted  only  to  browse  the  tops  off  trees? 
And  do  you  think  the  spirit-world  made  one  and  did 
not  make  the  other?  No;  this  carpet  of  the  illimitable 
creation  is  all  of  one  pattern  and  all  taken  out  of  the 
same  loom." 

"Tell  me,"  I  asked,  "what  is  to  be  the  final  out 
come  of  man's  civilization  on  earth?  Will  it  end  in 
a  cosmical  cataclysm?" 

He  was  pacing  rapidly  up  and  down — in  his  testy 
way, — striking  his  knee-breeches,  on  the  left  side, 
smart  taps  with  his  whip;  and  as  I  asked  this  question 


MY   LAST   VISITOR.  313 

he  struck,  as  if  impatiently,  a  smarter  blow  than 
usual.  To  my  utter  astonishment  the  whip  passed 
completely  through  his  thigh,  and  I  saw  it  whirl  round 
and  round  for  an  instant,  through  nothingness.  He 
was  gone ! 

I  never  was  so  astounded  in  my  life. 

I  looked  at  the  spot  intently  for  a  few  minutes — 
then  advanced  and  passed  my  hands  through  it. 
There  was  nothing  there. 

What  did  it  all  mean? 

Had  I  really  talked  with  an  inhabitant  of  another 
sphere?  Or  were  these  my  own  thoughts,  reflected 
back  upon  my  mental  consciousness?  Was  it  all  a 
dream, — like  the  Golden  Bottle? 

But  I  was  greatly  cheered,  anyhow.  I  would 
write  to  Sophie.  I  would  go  to  work.  And  I  would 
tell  my  story  to  the  world. 


THE    END. 


The  Works  of  • 


John  Ruskin. 


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Story  of  an  Emigrant 

BY 

Hon.    HANS    MATTSON. 


Profusely    Illustrated,   Cloth,   8vo,  $2.OO. 


This  is  a  true  story  of  an  eventful  life,  and  it  can  but  have  a  healthful 
influence  upon  the  life  of  every  youth  and  young  man  who  reads  it.  It  is 
alike  interesting  to  people  of  all  ages  and  conditions  in  life.  Were  it  not  for 
the  modesty  of  the  author,  it  might  justly  be  called  "  From  a  Poor  Boy  to 
a  President."  Note  what  a  few  have  said  : 

General  Johnson  says  :  "My  Dear  Colonel: — I  received  my  copy  of 
your  book  on  Saturday  and  read  it  through  before  retiring  for  the  night.  I 
expected  a  treat  and  was  not  disappointed.  The  trials  of  an  emigrant  are 
vividly  set  forth,  and  what  you  say  about  India  gave  me  just  the  information 
I  wanted.  It  is  a  splendid  book  and  ought  to  have  a  large  sale." 

Jay  Cooke,  of  Philadelphia,  says:  "  I  have  read  your  book  and  have  found 
it  deeply  interesting.  You  have  paid  but  a  just  tribute  to  that  noble  class 
who  have  come  over  from  the  old  country  and  have  become  so  completely 
and  creditably  citizens  of  our  great  nation.  I  wish  to  distribute  some  of  the 
books  ;  send  me  25  copies  to  begin  with." 

Hon.  John  G.  Wicks,  of  Jamestown,  N.  Y. ,  says:  "It  is  a  book  that 
should  be  in  every  library  of  this  liberty-loving  country  of  ours,  for  it  shows 
the  possibilities  for  every  one  who  is  willing  to  work,  is  honest  and  ambitious. 
The  reading  of  your  book  cannot  fail  to  give  courage  to  every  one  wishing  to 
better  his  condition." 


D.    D.    MERRILL   COMPANY, 

PWOL-ISHERS, 

New    York    and    St.    Paul. 


Tale?  of  a  Ejawigon  ToWq, 

BY 

ARTHUR  WENTWORTH    EATON 

AND 

CRAVEN  LANGSTROTH  BETTS. 

ILLUSTRATED    BY 

CHARLES   HOWARD    JOHNSON. 


12mo.       cloth,  $1.25. 


An  Entirely  New  and  Unique  Field  of  Fiction. 


Short   Stories    of  Great   Range    and  remarkable    Dramatic 

Power,  portraying  the  military  and  social  life  of  Halifax, 

Nova    Scotia;     with    six    full -page    Pen    and   Ink 

Illustrations. 


D.    D.    MERRILL    COMPANY, 


New  York  and  St.  Paul. 


Glimpses  of  the 


Nation's  Struggle 


READ    BEFORE    MINNESOTA    COMMANDERY,    LOYAL 
LEGION,    FROM    1885    TO    1889. 

THE   FIRST   VOLUMES   ISSUED   BY  ANY  COMMANDERY. 

NO  WAR  LIBRARY  IS  COMPLETE    WITHOUT   THEM. 

THE    STORIES    OF    THE     BOYS    WHO   FOUGHT    NEVER 

LOSE    INTEREST. 


Two    vols.       Each,   cloth,    $2.00 ;    half  calf,    $3.50. 


D.  D.  MERRILL  COMPANY, 


New  York  and  St.  Paul. 


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tii 


